Rima Can't Spell
by Tsuki no kimi
Summary: Apparently Rima's diary is full of lots of Nagihiko-bashing... oh, and other stuff. Lots of other stuff.
1. His Name looks Mexican?

Monday, May 3rd

I sat down at the guardian's table, only to be greeted by Yaya not shutting up.

"COOKIIIIESS!!! COOKIEESS!!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Tadase in his girl-voice.

They haven't changed at all since they were eleven. They're in their TEENS. Japanese kids sure are messed up.

(not that I'm messed up).

And that is when I said the doomed words to make Tadase shut up, at least temporarily.

"Prince."

It was uttered quietly, but loud enough so that Kiseki and Tadase could both hear it.

_Poing. _

"YOU! COMMONER! I AM A _KING! _OH-HOHOHOHOHO!!!" he laughed like a pyromaniacal Santa Claus.

I turned around, only to be greeted by the one person who was perhaps more annoying than Tadase staring at me kind of funny, his eyes all glassed over.

Urgh, I can't even spell his name. Uhhhh...

N-A-J-E-H-E-E-C-O?

Haa, his name looks Mexican.

2 minutes later

I asked HIM politely, "how do you spell your name?"

"Why do you want to know, Rima?" said Amu, turning around and staring at me.

"maybe she liiiikes him," sang Yaya. Annoying idiot! Dammit! Tadase was looking from me to HIM.

"Uhhhh," he said, laughing awkwardly, "N-A-G-E-H-I-K-O."

I hate spelling.

"Why do you want to know?"

"none of you business."

He gave a suddenly evil grin and said, "maybe you do like me, then." Damn!

"No!" I said, shooting him The Death Glare. "I'm recording the day's events. It's not my fault you have a ten-letter name."

"Rima-chan? It's eight letters," said Amu under her breath.

"EIGHT LETTERS, THEN!" I said loudly, and then the chair proceeded to fall backwards. KusuKusu then started laughing like a maniac, making me go red like a beetroot.

"Are you OK, Rima?" said Nagehiko, peering over the table at me.

I was silent for a minute on the ground, processing what he had just said.

"She's not OK if she's not insulting me," said Nagehiko, looking worried.

"You used my name without an honorific," I said in a low voice.

"What?"

"YOU USED MY NAME WITHOUT AN HONORIFIC!" I said, rolling off the ground and waving a fork threateningly. "WHAT GIVES YOU THAT RIGHT, HUH?"

_Poing._

"Bala-balance-u!"

The green stars disappeared off my cheeks and I rounded on my guardian chara. "What was that for?!" I said in a stage whisper.

"Rima-tan was going out of control!" KusuKusu squeaked.

"Ha, ha, ha, ha," said Tadase. Feeling a sense of déjà vu, I rounded on him going, "something funny, PRINCE?!"

_Poing. _

Ha.

Lunchtime

After that morning's colossal foul-up, I wanted to forget Nagehiko even existed. But no. clearly, Amu wanted to cause me pain when she said "Nagehiko! Come eat lunch with us!"

EVILLLL.

And god forbid he could just sit down beside Amu. No. she chose to sit down beside the golden-haired demon that was shooting daggers at him.

"Hi, Mashiro-san," he said evilly. I could practically hear the gears whirring loudly in his brain. "I can hear the gears whirring evilly in your brain." I said.

"What?"

"Stop playing dumb."

"I'm not playing dumb," He said complacently. His dark eyes were calculating how to mess up my life even more! Nagehiko's big, lovely, browny-hazel...

DAMMIT!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I WRITING!! DID I JUST USE "LOVELY" AND "NAGEHIKO" IN THE SAME SCENTENCE?!

30 seconds later

Nagehiko asked, "what are you writing in that book, Mashiro-san? I think you just ripped a page with the end of your pencil."

English Class (I'm supposed to be writing What I Did Over Summer Vacation but oh well)

I knew it! Nagehiko managed to finally wreak havoc before the end of lunch.

HE STOLE MY PENCIL.

And not just any pencil either. I'm pretty sure he just reached into my pencil case and grabbed one while I wasn't looking, but he stole the special good-luck one I use for tests, the one I've had since third grade, the one that has, "this pencil belongs to Ri-Ri-tan!" written on it.

I MUST GET MY PENCIL BACK.

At all costs. And without it getting around that I call myself, "Ri-Ri-tan!"

Not that I do, or anything.


	2. His Sense of Humour is Twisted!

Friday, May 7th

Ok. It's before school. I MUST ASK _HIMMM_ FOR MY PENCIL BACK. Because last period, I have a test. AND I CAN'T WRITE THE TEST WITHOUT MY RI-RI-TAN PENCIL!!!

10:30, science class (supposed to be dissecting a tapeworm but one of my fanboys is doing it for me)

OK, confession time. I totally chickened out. Why? I have no idea. Every time I thought about it, I got really hot and sweaty and scared. Why am I scared of a boy with hair like a girl?

I don't know, either.

11:30

I actually did go up to ask him at the start of the free period.

"what is it, Mashiro?" he asked, laying his eyes... what was I writing? Anyway, he asked what it was.

"Um..." I kind of trailed off. I COULD HEAR THE EVIL GEARS WHIRRING IN HIS BRAIN AGAIN. How could Amu-chan not know Nagihiko is really a mad evil genius?

"Mashiro, your face is bright red," the Mad Evil Genius observed, looking at me even harder.

"Do you know what the homework was for science?" I managed to say.

So I chickened out again.

12:11

Maybe if I write it enough, it will come true...

MASHIRO RIMA IS NOT A COWARD. MASHIRO RIMA IS NOT A COWARD. MASHIRO RIMA IS NOT A COWARD. MASHIRO RIMA IS COWARD. MASHIRO RIMA IS TOTALLY A COWARD. MASHIRO RIMA IS ABSOLUTELY AND POSITIVELY A C-O-W-A-R-D.

So much for that idea.

_Seiyo Secondary School Grade Ten Spelling List:_

_Analyze_

_Antonym_

_Automobile_

_Convention_

_Develop_

_Eloquent_

_Fluency_

_Horizon_

_Mechanics_

_Phonemic_

_Synonym_

_Xylophone_

_Xenophobia_

_Yogurt _

ARRGH!!! I CAN'T DO THESE!!!

1:01

Nagihiko walked over and told me, "you're ripping the page with your pencil again, Mashiro. What are you writing in there? Your words look big and spiky."

NASTIIIII.

1:30

The test is next period. I'm starting to get really desperate!

Ua;shg'aheiwoduhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Damn you, Fujeesakee Nagihiko.

1:31

Sorry. Apparently that's "Foojisaki."

1:32

I went and asked HIM how to spell his last name.

"Why do you want to know? Writing more love letters? You've never been a very good speller, Ri-Ri-tan. It's F-U-J-I-S-A-K-I."

I swear his sense of humour wasn't this twisted four years ago.

Anyway, damn you, Fujisaki Nagihiko.

1:15

Well, break is over. I guess I'll have to just write the test without my Ri-Ri-tan pencil.

It's just a stupid pencil. It's the knowledge that counts. Right?

Uhhhh.

3:30

I'm still in a daze from what happened. I can't believe it.

Ok, let me start over.

I was on the way to my history class, because that's the subject where I had the big test. Suddenly, Nagihiko came out oh nowhere, and held out something in his hand.

"Here's your pencil, Ri-Ri-tan. Guess you can take that test no problem now, right?"

I kind of stood there for a minute, and then took the pencil with the tips of my fingers, trying not to let them touch his hand (I didn't succeed at all, but hopefully I scratched him with my nails).

I then managed, "How did you know about my test?"

He gave me an evil grin and said slyly, "Amu told me."

I muttered something under my breath about killing Hinamori later.

"I didn't think it mattered that much, anyway. It's all about how much you know, right?"

"But I don't know very much at all," I mumbled.

He actually laughed then. LAUGHED. In fact, I didn't expect a laugh at all. More of a "MUA-HA-HA-HA-HA!" out of the Mad Evil Genius.

But I guess even evil geniuses are human.

4:30

I was waiting on the corner for my Mom/Dad to pick me up. I never know which one it's going to be, as they're always fighting over who will take the "No. 1 Parent" spot. Then Nagihiko walked by and said, "Hi, Ri-Ri-tan. How'd you do on the test?"

I thought it prudent to stay silent.

"I ask," he went on, grinning, "because I can clearly see the top of your history test sticking out of your bag."

I made to stuff it inside, but not before he saw the mark.

My mom pulled up at the end of the street, and I mumbled, "I have to go."

"hey, Rima?" he put a hand on my shoulder to stop me. I froze. Why could I not move? I remember thinking that it's really bad that I stopped, and I might be paralyzed for life. Then I felt my head turn around.

The Mad Evil Genius gave me a trademark evil grin. "two out of thirty isn't that bad, Ri-Ri-tan."

And then he ran off in one direction, and I ran off in the other to the street corner, and people watching probably wondered why two long-haired people were running in opposite directions as fast as they could go, just like in a distance-equals-rate-times-time math question.

Not that I'm able to solve those. Or understand the concept at all.


	3. His Hormones are Raging

Saturday, May 8th

My parents had another fight today.

But at least I can't hear it now. It used to be I could just block it out, but it's much, much easier now that I've got giant headphones. They do a terrific job of blocking out all the maniacal screaming.

Right now, "Love Gun" by Hirano Aya is in the lead for the best music for blocking out yelling.

12:06

They've been at it for awhile now.

I'm kind of hungry, but no way I'm entering the War Zone, aka the kitchen. I'd rather die.

1:33

My mom came into my room, looking a little crazy. No, wait. That's an understatement. She looked TOTALLY AND COMPLETELY MAD.

"pack your things, Rima," she said. "we're leaving."

So I packed my schoolbag full of books, sudoku sheets, my PSP and KusuKusu's egg (also the Ri-Ri-tan pencil but... you don't need to know that. )

And then I did the thing in the movies, where you tie the sheets together to get out of the window.

And then I walked what seemed like a gazillion blocks to the school. Not the high school. The elementary school. I didn't even know where my feet were taking me, but they ended up tracing the familiar path to the royal garden. In fact, I can't even believe it's unlocked, but it made a good hiding spot. It's the weekend, and no one will bother me here.

Now I'm tired, so I'm going to go to sleep....

2:07

I woke up to see Tadase across from me, and the familiar shape of Amu next to me. All the guardians were there, and they looked like they used to when we were guardians. All happy and laughing and eating doughnuts. I was even glad to see stupid Nagihiko, laughing sycophantically with Tadase.

"did you doze off again, Rima?" asked Amu, laughing. "you need to get more sleep."

"Waaaaahh, Yaya was up ALL night studying for Nikaidou-sensei's big quiz!" complained Yaya in her little grade-five-squeaky voice.

I laughed, and I think was about to start talking with Amu again when Tadase looked right at me.

"Wake up, Mashiro-san," he said, and I said a little sleepily, "No! what are you taking about! I want to talk more with you and Amu-chan and maybe even Nagi..."

"What are you babbling about, Mashiro-san? Please wake up, before the janitor finds you." and then I woke up for real. I should have guessed it was all a dream. But Tadase was still in his king's spot, shaking me.

"Tadase? What are you doing here?"

He smiled kind of weakly. "I guess I wasn't the only one who had a bad case of nostalgia."

"You mean you want to take your rightful place as King again! Follow your instincts!" corrected Kiseki.

"what were you doing sleeping, "Mashiro-san?" questioned Tadase, quickly poking his Chara back into his pocket.

"Oh... umm.." I looked at him again. He was looking all eager and sympathetic, and I ended up telling him everything. And he never dropped the horrible I'm-kind-and-sympathetic-face! When I was finally finished, he actually smiled. "well, normally it would be bad thing if you ran away using sheets like in the movies, but we'd all miss you if you ended up going with your mother."

"So I can stay here, right?"

He frowned a little. "wouldn't you give the current guardians a bit of a shock if they found a sixteen-year-old former queen sleeping at their table?"

"I guess so," I mumbled.

"well, maybe you're mother's... um... cooled off a little now."

"maybe," I kind of smiled and started walking. "but if she makes me move again, I'm running away to Seiyo Elementary again, and this time to the basement."

About 2:30, I think. my watch is broken.

Guess who I ran into?

Nagihiko! As if I can't see enough of him in school.

"Mashiro-san, are you all right?" he actually looked all worried. "Hotori told me what happened."

"HE DID?!"

"well, he told Amu, but I was there, too," he amended. "So... are you moving away?"

"none of your business!" I snapped. I was really pissed at that little blond-haired nasty for telling my secrets to the Mad Evil Genius!

"fine, then," said Nagihiko, and I could hear the gears in his brain whirring again. "I suppose it's very noble of you, trying to carry on this burden alone and trying to seem selfless by not troubling your friends with your problems. Do you like how I put that in such poetic context? My, what a drama queen you are."

"FINE!" I fumed. "If she makes me move away, I'll go live in the Seiyo Elementary basement and live off rats. So... NO! I'M NOT MOVING! HAPPY?"

Then Nagihiko did a really scary thing. He HUGGED me. Gah! Raging hormones much?

Wait, let me cross that out, because that sounds very unlike Nagihiko to give into hormones. And it's not hormones. It's caring what happens to someone you've known for four years. Right?

Right.

Anyway, we stayed like that for a minute, and then he released me and grinned. "see you on Monday, Ri-Ri-tan."

And then he disappeared.

**********

Hi, this is Tsuki-chan! I haven't shown it until now, but usually at the end of chapters I have this place where I talk about what happened/will happen in the next chapter and bad excuses for why I took so long updating.

Anyway, I've been wanting to write a Rima/Nagihiko romance since I saw Rima getting all pissed at him in Doki!. But sadly, I've never written romance before! It kind of feels uncomfortable doing more-than-friendly scenes in this story. And Nagihiko I feel is kind of wrong personality-wise (but people say they like that, so I guess warped Nagi-kun it is).

But more on this chapter! Yeah, this is the only time so far Nagihiko has made a move on Rima (is hugging a move? Well, it's a big step for me). And I'm trying to develop a relationship before dropping any bombshells (*foreshadowing!*) and taking it slow, unlike all the fanfictions I've read where it's like, "wow! I just realized I like Nagi! Lets make out!" (when I read one like this, I was just like, "what?").

Oh! Also! This is getting really long, but thank you for the reviews. I can't believe how many people have reviewed in just a week(ish). I prolly won't update for maybe another week, because right now I'm also juggling another fanfiction as well. BUT! I'll try!


	4. His Silences are Never Awkward

Monday

AAHHHHH BLEA';SL;AS.

I can't believe he HUGGED ME.

Ahhhh!!!

Evil mad genius.

Later

Uhhhh...

We have to dissect a tapeworm today (again).

Gross.

Meh.

12:00

I have been avoiding Nagihiko ALL DAY.

It's getting really hard.

I've also had to skip classes because of it, which means my marks will go like this: DOWN DOWN DOWN DOWN.

Well, I was getting pretty bad in everything anyway.

2:30

Nagihiko finally found me! Nooooo!

He saw me hiding behind a bunch of pipes when I was supposed to be in math.

"are you skipping class, Rima?" he asked, looking at me over a particularly fat pipe.

"no." I said, trying to keep any emotion out of my voice.

"tsk-tsk, you naughty girl. Skipping classes."

"why is it only when you say that does it sound so dirty?"

He just gave me an evil grin and offered me his hand to help me up. Purposely ignoring his hand, I got up and brushed off my skirt.

"Mashiro," he said, fixating me with his eyes. This was a really bad move to pull on me, as it pretty much made all look of exasperation and anger slide off my face. "What do we learn?"

"Nothing. Because I skipped class."

"No. We learn that avoiding your friends does not work. They hunt you down madly during all their spares and wind up discovering you playing Klondike on your iPod underneath pipes when you should be doing math. Understand?"

"meh."

We walked in silence for awhile. I had never really appreciated just how big our teacher's parking lot is. I mean, it stretches forever, and the wall still seemed very far away even though we should have reached halfway. Every now and then, I kept sneaking looks at him. He seemed perfectly at ease with himself, which made me feel a little jealous as that's more than I could say for myself. Arrrggh! I remember thinking. I swear he's never been in an awkward silence in his life! Well, it felt pretty awkward to me, anyway. Awkward silences are funny that

OK, I was blathering again. Lets skip the long, long time it took for us to cross the parking lot, and continue at the point where he turned to head into the science department. I asked him before parting ways, "Why were you never this mean when you first transferred in to Seiyo?"

He gave me a sideways look. "You could say I resorted to desperate measures."

3:15

After that, I couldn't' skip out on the "guardians meeting." Actually, let me make something clear. We're not even guardians anymore, but we still assist the current guardians with their X-egg duties and yell at the Tsukiyomis for being such lazy Easter Jackasses and blah, blah, blah. I haven't even MET this Ikuto but I've seen him. From what I've seen, he's WAY better looking than Tadase, so maybe Amu should dump Tada-Gay for him. Hmmm.

Anyway, as soon as I walked in I was treated to a Trademark Yaya Glomp.

"Yaya was worried!" she whined. "Rima-tan is mean for not seeing Yaya and skipping class!"

Tadase gave me a significant I-told-you-so look, and Amu smiled widely. "Thank god, Rima! We thought something had happened!" when I sat down, she said snidely out of the corner of her mouth, "So, what REALLY happened between you and Nagi?"

"nothing!" I hissed back.

"Of course," said Nagihiko innocently, as if we were talking about skiing conditions. "Nothing! Unless you can call _that_ nothing."

Yaya wailed, "what nothing! What nothing! What happened, Rima-tan?!?!"

I tried giving him The Evil Death Glare, but it might have just turned into an exasperated look.

"Anyway," Amu pressed on, "I'm having a party next weekend. It's my birthday and I've managed to clear my parents and sister out for the entire night! They'll be away sleeping at a friends house. So I've already asked everyone and you have to come too, okay?"

And then something horrible happened. I actually smiled! Really widely. I tried to hold it back but Nagihiko whacked me and said, "Stop holding back that sick grin, Mashiro, because it's not working."

* * *

Ehheh! It's Tsuki-chii again!

I've been packing in more and more Rimahiko fluff into every chapter! Also, thank you for the reviews. it may not LOOK like i get them, but i really do, and i appreciate it! in fact...

*IMPORTANT, PLEASE READ* Rima mentions this chapter the new guardians that have taken their place when the graduate. because i'm too busy typing madly, i'm going to leave it to YOU to give me your OCC to put in my story in the chapter after next. just give me a first/last name, brief summary of personality, and position (e.g: King, Queen, Jack, Ace, and if someone submits one, Joker). i might be putting them in a new chapter! the first person in each position to be PMed to me will get the part.

Anyway, I'm going to put in some Amuto in the next chapter, Amu's party. Because when she said _everybody, _she meant _everybody_ – which means the Tsukiyomis, the guardians, and Lulu. Because I like Lulu, and it'll be entertaining. Hmfhmfhmf~~~ well, see you next chapter!


	5. His Twin Sister

Wednesday

I walked into class, and was greeted by Nikaidou performing a jig in front of the class. Oh horrors! Why he decided to stop teaching elementary school and be the teacher for our class – AGAIN – is beyond me.

Later

Thank god Nagihiko's in another class. I fell off my chair AGAIN. And this time my skirt might've flipped up a little.

What's really scary is that everyone clambered over desks to have a good look.

Lunchtime

I hid in the library, because it always seems I run into Nagihiko when I'm trying to eat my lunch in peace. I started playing on one of the computers, and took an, "Are you a Mary-Sue?" test. To my utter horror, I scored a whopping "153", making me fall into the category of "'40 – 70' – Impossibly irreversible Mary-Sue!".

"Hey, Amu, look over here – Mashiro's a Mary-sue!"

And, to my shock and pissed-off-ness, Nagihiko had been watching me take the test for the last fifteen minutes.

"I bet you don't even know what a Mary-sue is!"

"A-Mary-sue," he said, faster than necessary, "is-a-heroine-in-a-fanfiction-who-is-perfect-in-every-way-and-ends-up-bedding-all-the-other-characters. A-Mary-sue-may-also-be-the-victim-of-self-insertion-"

"OK! I GET IT!"

"And it seems if you look up 'Mary-sue" in the dictionary, you'll find Rima's head stuck there, said Amu, who was inspecting my test results.

So mean.

Art

Brilliant. I hate art. Especially because we have to draw cursed flowers and Fujisaki can draw them better than me.

"Oh, it's just a few tips I learned in Europe," he said vaguely.

Luckily – or perhaps unluckily – I was one table away at the time. "I thought it was just your sister who went to Europe?" I said, as I tried to draw a tulip (it ended up looking more like a frog hacking up fireworks).

And then, for some reason, he looked really scared. Actually, he looked so freaked out I looked in the doorway to see if some slime-monster-goblin had appeared there or something.

"Oh... I came too... for a bit," he finished lamely.

Weird.

After School

YES! I get to go shopping with Amu. No guy likes going shopping, so that means no Tada-gay or, worse yet, Fujisaki tagging along. Ha.

But Yaya's coming too. Whee.

The mall. I don't even know the name of this mall, it's just "the mall".

Gah! Yaya was on one of her sugar highs, which means we have to zoom around the mall and zone in on anything frilly.

Everyone keeps forgetting I have short legs, dammit.

Amu's house

Gah! Something really weird happened. Me and Amu and Yaya were all playing with Ami (against our will) when Amu tore of her tiara and went, "screw this. I have marks in my head from this Barbie tiara. Let's go to Nagi-kun's house."

I replied, "oh, gosh, I'd love to come with you, but I have homework."

Amu held my arm in an iron grip and said, "no, we didn't, Rima. Nikaidou was too busy doing his Irish jig to assign us any homework, remember?"

"Fujisaki will get pissed if he sees the evil demon in his house."

"No, he won't! There's no excuse! Right, Yaya?" but Yaya was too busy pulling at her hair ribbon. It had kind of fallen out, and it was kind of scary. She didn't look like a little kid without her pigtails.

But anyway, I was dragged along. And so then we arrived at the Fujisaki house, which was only after we had hiked though THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE. We had to walk for miles through forest! I haven't exactly told anyone, but the sun was going down and the one thing I'm scared to death of is being in the forest in the dark. I never let go of Amu's arm the entire way, and neither did Yaya (who was moaning at random intervals, "there are wolves in the mean, mean forest that want to eat Yaya for second breakfast").

Anyway, the door was answered by Nagihiko's mum, who looks just about as much like an evil genius as Nagihiko. That's why I hung back, but then the evil-mad-genius aura disappeared and she was all, "look at this cute little blond girl! Are you really fifteen? You still look like you're in grade school!"

Ehheh.

Thankfully, she paused for breath and Amu asked where Nagihiko was.

"Oh! She – he – she – he's not, um, here."

Nadeshiko's mom looked kind of look confused for a moment, and then said, "well, anyway, I think she – he'll – be back soon. Why don't you wait in the garden?"

When most people think of a garden, they think of things like climbing roses and maybe a bird bath in the backyard, right?

Wrong. For the Fujisakis, that means KOI PONDS and EVIL TREES LIKE FROM THE WIZARD OF OZ and ACRES AND ACRES OF LAND! I swear their garden was bigger than a public park. Then Yaya wandered off into the distance with some vague idea of picking apples (yep, they even had APPLE TREES. I mean, geez), and Amu saw her makeup sliding off and totally panicked, making a beeline for indoors.

Which left me freaking out, as I was left listening to wind whistle eerily.

I kind of stood still for a minute, and then I looked up just in time to see something drop to the ground from the tree above me. Not just ANYTHING. The thing turned around, and I realized it was Nagihiko with his hair in a ponytail in a KIMONO. Obviously, I totally freaked out. Sure, Nagihiko kind of looks like a girl with his long hair, but cross-dressing is DEFINITELY going over the line!

I finally managed to stammer out, "Fujisaki? Why are you cross dressing?"

For a minute, Nagihiko looked like those criminals on CSI Miami – you know, where at the very end, the blond-haired guy with the giant sunglasses finds out who the criminal is, and they're all, "Oh, no! you've found me out!"

But it must have been my imagination, because almost immediately the look was gone and Nagihiko gave a high pitched giggle. "Ahahaha! I'm Fujisaki Nadeshiko. Nagihiko's my twin brother. A lot of people get us mixed up."

So THIS is Amu's so-called best friend! The one who went away for what was supposed to be a year. After two years had gone by, Amu finally got another letter. That she was happy and having fun, blah-blah-blah-blah, and Sorry, she wasn't coming back to Japan for a few more years. No specified date, just a vague few years.

After about a minute of stunned silence, I said, "But I thought you were in Europe?"

She looked a bit panicked. "Please don't tell Amu-chan, ok? I'm only staying for a short while, and it would be stupid to see her again, be all happy, and then just fly back again."

"So, why did you come back."

"Uhhhh... she looked about shiftily. "I got sick of doing my own laundry. And I also wanted to meet you, Rima-chan!" she took my hands, all *happy*. I swear, she was the total opposite of mad-evil-genius Nagihiko!

"Me? Why?" seriously? A big jet-lagged trip all the way back to Japan to do a couple loads of laundry and meet me. And then fly all the way back again.

"well, I wanted to see how everyone was. They seem to be doing fine. You also were Queen in my place, right? And Amu's gotten kind of close to you over the past four years, so..."

She trailed off, but I could easily finish the sentence for her. _I wanted to see what was so great about you_? _I wanted to compare_? I could easily guess a million more, because sometimes when I left the room, Amu would wonder quietly with Tadase and Yaya what possibly could be taking her best friend so long. and then I would wonder the same things.

"Oh." It wasn't a nasty, sarcastic, 'Oh' but just a kind of wondering one. I heard Amu's footsteps faintly, and then Nadeshiko suddenly grabbed my hand and said quickly, "run!"

She ran really, really fast. _How can this person run in a kimono? I can see all the dirt spots at the hem already, _was my first thought. And then my next one was, _aaaahhhh!!!!_,as Nadeshiko dragged me through various underbrush, pulled me up a tree, and doubled back a couple times. Finally she stopped at a bench. As she sat down, something rolled out of the sash of her kimono. It was a Shugo Chara egg! It looked exactly like Nagihiko's except it was pink. Hastily picking it up off the ground, she said, "Oh. This is Temari."

I showed her KusuKusu, who was also confused for a minute about why Nagihiko was in a kimono. While KusuKusu was all, "Rima-tan! Nagi's a transvestite!" I asked her, "why won't Temari come out?"

She stared at a tree for a minute and said, "I don't know."

In truth, we both knew. Duh! She didn't believe in her would-be-self anymore. As we both watched the little pink egg on the bench between us, it flickered once, like it was debating whether or not to disappear. Nadeshiko seemed to realize I must have guessed what happened, because she said, "Well, it was during the time I was in Europe. I kind of didn't want to dance anymore. That was the desire Temari was born from."

"the desire to do Japanese dancing?"

She nodded. "KusuKusu was born from your desire to make others laugh, right?"

"How did you know that?" I had never really told anyone exactly WHY my Shugo Chara pranced around in a clown suit, because somehow it ended up sounding really stupid when said aloud.

"Lucky guess. So, it would be as if you just didn't want to be funny anymore. Kind of like that. I didn't feel like dancing anymore. And so, Temari fell back into slumber."

She appeared to have finished her story, and stared at the tree in silence again.

"Nadeshiko!" someone called faintly, back the way we came.

"Oh, _crap_," said Nadeshiko. "I'd better go." She hugged me tightly, and said, "let's be friends, okay?"

And then she promptly disappeared, reminding me irresistibly of her much darker twins exits.

Arrrggh, my hand hurts.

* * *

Whoa, a dark chapter from the comedy-obsessed! and Nagihiko using his alter ego to befriend Rima? poor Nagi is getting more and more vague and out-of-character as the chapters pull on :'(

anyway, I just needed some nice sentimental fluff to fill up the rest of the week. next chapter is... dum-da-da-dum! AAmu-chii's party!


	6. His Various Reasons

Friday

We all get out early today! and then Amu's making us come to her house right after. She's actually gone kind of party-ballistic lately, threatening us with Suu's whisk and has a weird flame cracking in her eyes.

"So, who else is coming, Amu?" I said, when Nagihiko finally shut up about some amusing story that happened in his history class.

"Oh! Um, Kukai, Kairi, you guys, Lulu-"

"why Lulu?" demanded Yaya. "she's insane! She scares Yaya!"

"I dunno, she said she'd come – Hoshina Utau, and... Tsukiyomi-Ikuto." She said Ikuto's name really fast and in a mumble in the hope that Tadase wouldn't hear it. She probably would have gotten away with it, too, but Nagihiko said really loudly, "The perverted cat-eared guy? No! You're joking!" and started laughing crazily.

"Tsukiyomi Ikuto? That twisted pervert who should be in Juvie? I can't believe you invited him!" glared Tadase, and we all felt a character change coming.

"He invited himself!" wailed Amu, throwing her head on the table.

"Typical," I said. "But if you invite his sister, he's totally going to tag along. Or maybe he's just too in love with you to stay away."

Tadase aimed the croissant at my head, but it ended up killing Ran and Pepe instead, who were floating by my left shoulder at the time.

"Never been very good in basketball, have you, Hotori?" I asked mildly, watching Ran wave around with pastry in her hair. "I can see by your aim."

"Neither have you," pointed out Nagihiko.

"Oh, and I bet you're a basketball Einstein, huh?" I said, giving him the Death Glare and happily succeeding this time.

"I'm okay." He said, but the tone of his voice declared the matter closed.

"Anyway!" said Amu hurriedly. "Ran, Miki, Suu; can you entertain everyone else's charas in some way?"

"HAI!!!" they all yelled in unison.

"even though we're going to need fifty cans of tuna if we want to entertain Yoru," said Miki dryly.

"WE'RE DONE WITH THAT SUBJECT!" Amu practically yelled, looking very harassed (and not in the way you think).

So we all started out. actually, it was kind of funny in a twisted way; me and Nagihiko flanking Amu and giving each other evil looks, and then Tadase and Yaya looking on at us from the back. Yaya suddenly pulled at her hair ribbon, and all the hair fell out. none of us noticed, either, until we got to the Hinamori house. "Yaya!" said Amu, suddenly turning around. "Oh – you're right here. You..." she looked all panicked. "You put your hair down! Oh, my God! You look six years older!"

"Ehheh," Yaya laughed. "My hair ribbon was falling out."

There was a swelling silence, and then I went quietly, "You're not speaking in third person."

"what?" said Yaya, looking surprised. "Oh. I guess Ya-I'm not."

That was when Kukai walked in, and Yaya quickly stared the other way. I'm pretty sure I was the only one who saw, but I think I know the reason why Yaya let her hair down.

"Soooo, what are we going to do?!" demanded Kukai. "Is everyone here?"

"Now everyone," remarked Utau dryly from the doorway with Lulu in tow.

Iru and Eru ran away from Nana, who was shrieking, "I sense a lost soul! Lulu-chan! Lost soul alert!"

Then Miki, who had just flown in, remarked, "Well, I guess this means Ikuto's here too, as I see Yoru's already eaten through all the tuna fish. How the hell did he open all the cans?"

"Claws, nya!" said Yoru. "they're like can openers!"

"Nooooo, not the tuna!" said Amu, looking stricken. "Ami puts that in her sandwiches...she's going to kill Ikuto! And I wouldn't mind watching that," she added under her breath.

"I doubt a nine-year-old could kill me," said Ikuto, who I had seen jump in from the window.

"Why can't you walk through the door like a civilized human being?" demanded Utau. "remember that time you went through my friends' window and set off the burglar alarm?"

"ha, ha!" everyone laughed except Tadase, who had gone all stony-faced.

"what's the matter, kiddy king?" questioned Ikuto. "Your face looks like cement."

He purposely turned away.

"it's because he's losing to an older man," I told Ikuto in a stage whisper.

"AM NOT!" said Tadase, firing up.

"it's already noisy," remarked Kairi from beside me, where he had sat down unnoticed.

"why does everyone keep coming in without my knowledge?" cried Amu, throwing her hands up in the air.

"Yes, why didn't you notice me, Amu-chan?" frowned Ikuto.

"Because I don't like cat-eared perverts," said Amu testily.

"he just looks like a regular twenty-something to me," I observed.

"Ah, but Rima-chan," said Ikuto, giving an evil smirk, "that's because I just got home from school. In my spare time, I actually drive around in an ice cream truck, pedophile-ing little kids--"

"Disgusting," muttered Tadase under his breath.

Amu turned away too. It seemed she found this disgusting too, but then I saw her shoulders shaking and realized she was having silent fits of laughter.

Later

Oh, god. Yaya found the DDR mats lying under the couch, and now Yaya's trying to play.

"The mat doesn't like Yaya!" she screamed in frustration, kicking Kairi instead of the left arrow.

Amu, who was hitting them all, kept wailing, "you're hitting the ARROWS, Yaya! And only when they get to the top!

"But they're going too fast!!!!..."

I was actually hoping Yaya could win, because I was playing winner and Amu could probably own me. And then I'd never hear the end of the short jokes...

But we all saw it coming that Yaya totally lost. "Mean mat!" She yelled, stomping on it.

So we all started up again, and me and Amu went on medium. But I actually ended up winning, because halfway through the session Iru and Yoru set the kitchen on fire, and she had to go put it out with the garden hose.

"Nice, Rima," said Nagihiko, grinning evilly again.

"You're up to something again because you're giving me that sick grin," I told him.

"That's because I'm playing winner... remember?"

Oh, crap.

He slid off the couch. Conveniently, he was the control mat. Great. "why are you choosing that song?!" I yelled at him.

"I like that song."

"it SUCKS!"

"aw, Mashiro, now you sound like Kyo from _Maniac Diaries_, that fanfiction."

"and-" he selected DIFFICULT. "YOU IDIOT! I CAN'T PLAY DIFFICULT!"

"But I can," he said innocently.

Then the arrows starting moving at the speed of light. "DAMMIT! I can't do this! WHY, FUJISAKI, WHYYY?"

"because it's so, so, so fun annoying the hell out of you."

3 minutes and 42 seconds later.

The narrator guy on DDR said, "Player A: Pass! Rock it, dude! Player B: FAILLLLL. BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME! HAW, HAW, HAW."

"He's laughing at me!" I cried.

10:30 pm

UPDATES:

Ikuto's been sleeping for the past three hours. He's still not awake. He keeps muttering stuff like, "nya" and "fish" and "no baths" in his sleep.

Tadase is dipping Ikuto's hand in warm water. I dunno if that's worked yet.

Yaya is getting really sleepy, but kind of excited. "I've never been up until ten before!" she keeps telling us.

Kukai is chucking a bouncy ball against the ceiling.

Kairi has been reading a big fat medical book for the past hour.

Utau is going against Nagihiko in Karaoke. They're tied right now, as Nagihiko can actually sing. Utau tried to make me, but I refused flatly. No matter what song I sing, I always sound like a little kid singing a nursery rhyme to mommy. And I'm not giving Nagihiko any more ammunition than he needs for little-kid jokes.

Amu is watching Ikuto sleep. Her eyes are kind of glazed over.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Amu ran to get it, and Ikuto twitched in his sleep. Then he muttered the word, "tuna," under his breath.

"Hello?" she said. "what? Ami?"

She listened for a long time. Her eyes widened. "No. it's way too early."

"Amu?" I ran up to her. "what is it?" She held up a finger. "OK. Yes. Don't worry. What? Oh. Just keep it in your sweatshirt pocket. NO! don't tell mom and dad!"

She turned to me. "Ami just got a Chara egg. In the middle of dinner."

"how old is she now?" I asked.

"nine and a half."

"well, I got mine when I was ten." I reasoned. "you got yours when you were eleven."

Nagihiko stuck his head into the kitchen. "Are you taking about girl stuff? Because it sure sounds that wa-"

"NO!" we both yelled back at him.

Fifteen minutes later

The doorbell rang, and I ran to get it. there was Ami, clutching a little pinstriped pink-and-white egg in her hands.

"AMU!" I yelled, and her and – big surprise – Nagihiko both came running.

"Waaah!" shrieked Amu, totally freaking out and flapping her arms maniacally. "You came here all by yourself? How did mom and dad let you go?"

"I snuck," said Ami, looking very pleased with herself.

"what desire was this born from, incidentally?" I asked Ami.

She looked worried. "I don't know. I don't know!" she looked all panicky now, too. "am I supposed to know?!"

"NO!" we all said at the same time, making us all snort.

She turned the egg a little, and then I saw a red music note on the front. I didn't know which one, as I was just stupid that way. It was the note with the two little circles.

"an eighth note..." started Nagihiko, like he could read my mind (oh god, what if he can?! That would be scary).

"...because she wants to sing..." I continued.

"...better, instead of the crappy singer she is right now," finished Amu, grinning.

"I can sing fine!" shrieked Ami.

Later

Ami went downstairs with Yaya and Kukai as her reluctant babysitters, to play with the other charas. I checked in on them awhile ago. Ami and Yaya are playing a board game, and all the other charas are talking to the egg. "hatch!" they're all telling it. "come on! Hurry up! Music-san? Heloooo?"

11:00

I went back up, to be greeted by Ikuto prowling the upper stairs. "what are you doing?" I asked him.

"Shhhhh. Hunting mice." He's character-changed to get cat ears, and his eyes are glowing in the dark. Creepy.

Then I went back up to the living room, to be greeted by Utau holding up a movie. "it's THE UNLIVING. It's X-rated for it's scariness. LET'S WATCH THIS ONE!"

Nagihiko was all, "no way. THE UNWANTED owns! It's a horror classic!" and they were yelling back and forth, with Tadase, Kairi, and Amu hiding in the corners of the room.

"horror movies?" I asked, and Tadase grimaced. "Fujisaki and Hoshina-san are getting kinna scary."

Kukai went up to join us, and threw his vote towards THE UNLIVING, so Utau's putting it in...

1 hour and 20 minutes later

OH MY GOD.

I'm so, so, so, SO times a billion scared. This is the most gory, horrific, frightening and disgusting movie I've ever had to watch. I've had to leave twice. I am not going to sleep tonight! I'll wedge myself between Amu and Yaya and read happy, cheerful comic books.

Ikuto walked in a moment ago, and is all like to Utau, "This? Scary? My god."

He tried to watch for a minute, then yawned widely and went back up the stairs, muttering, "hmmm. I see yet another mouse hole."

How can he not be scared?! I'm doing my best not to shake at all. Some guy is sticking a needle in his eye. Ewww. Ewww. Oh, my god. Ewww.

Amu ran up to her room. She totally forgot Ikuto's upstairs, eating mice.

Have fun, Amu.

2 hours and 10 minutes later (this movie just won't end!)

Tadase and Kairi are doing a funny experiment in the kitchen involving gunpowder that might be qualified as baking pastry.

Whatever their creation is, I'm sure as hell not taste-testing it.

15 minutes later

So it was only Utau, me, and Nagihiko watching the movie, if you're still keeping tack (who is "you"? haa. That sounds funny.)

Nagihiko ended up right next to me. Which was kind of scary, because I could HEAR him BREATHING. AAHHHHHH!!!!

Anyway, we were in the final stages of the movie. Which was where the mad killer was KILLING OFF THE ENTIRE WORLD!!! He kept banging this guys head against the wall, and little bits of skull kept falling to the ground...

And then my body acted totally involuntarily and shuddered. Why do I shake when I'm scared? It's bloody stupid. And then OBVIOUSLY Nagihiko could feel me shaking like a broken toaster oven (no, seriously. I owned this toaster oven once and I stuffed ten baked potatoes in it and it started shaking insanely).

"Are you scared, Rima?" he said incredulously.

"N-n-n-no!" I whispered through chattering teeth.

"it's either that or you're cold, and the heat's at twenty-three," he retorted. And then he did something really scary again. He took my hand and gripped it really hard. "it's fine. Honestly. It's nearly over."

He watched for about thirty more seconds, and then let go of my hand and snatched the remote. To my utter relief, he pressed the STOP button. I exhaled in relief.

I looked over at Utau, wondering if she had missed anything, but she was asleep. Which pretty much meant...

NO.

Nagihiko and I were ALONE? With not even Amu (who, by the way, was still upstairs. I wonder if she's found Ikuto yet? Probably. I heard her shriek about ten minutes ago) to keep us company? Oh, god. Scary.

And then I found myself whispering, "I met your sister the other day."

"I know-" he said, and then stopped himself.

"what?" I said, getting a bit louder. "How?"

"Uhhhh... duh, she told me."

"she seems nicer than you."

He grinned. "that's interesting."

"how?"

"you wouldn't understand."

"what? Because I don't speak Japanese?"

"No. for you to understand it would take a lot of explaining. And I don't want to explain. And if I do, you'll get pissed. Urgh!" he tilted his head up in frustration. "I've already told you way too much."

"I'll g-get pissed? Damn straight!" I hissed. My teeth still were chattering a little, and he noticed. "You're still scared, aren't you?"

"N-no! tell me!"

He sighed. "I promise I will tell you. Just not NOW. Okay?" and then he muttered under his breath, "I don't have that much time left, anyway."

"Time until what?"

"Until the time Amu murders m- never you mind."

"Until the time Amu murders who? WHO?" I got really louder, almost at a normal volume now, and he clapped his hand over my mouth. "please don't tell Amu-chan, ok?"

I tried to gasp, except I couldn't because his hand was still over my mouth. I knew that sentence! I had heard it somewhere! But I don't remember.

"Eh, I'm walking home with Tadase and Kairi. I better get them. Tell Amu I left, all right?"

And then he – you guessed it – disappeared. About five minutes later, I heard the door shut, and that's all I heard from Nagihiko Fujisaki for the rest of the night.

********************

HOLY CRAP! That chapter went on FOREVER! 9 pages. NINE! Anyway, let's leave it up to your imagination what happened between Amu and Ikuto... Ehheh... ;). And also... whee! Nagi almost spilled the beans there! We all know what Nagi's secret is, right? DUH! And we all know why Amu would murder him...various reasons, various reasons... anyway, I need to churn some chapters out for my OTHER fanfiction now, because I've been working on this one for three days. Anyway, see you in chapter.. seven?

PS: REVIEW! I need goody ideas and I need my ego stroked if I am to produce so many chapters!!!!

PPS: also, if you read _Furuba_, I'm writing an Akito fanfiction too. Please read! (it's more parody than romance, though...)


	7. Her Small Happy Smile

This Diary Belongs to Nagihiko Fujisaki. KEEP OUT! THAT MEANS YOU, MOM! 

Saturday, May 5th

I totally almost gave away my secret last night at Amu's party. Dangit! If only Rima had any idea this insane... control... she has over me.

But she doesn't.

Which is GOOD.

But it's only a matter of time before she figures out how I really feel about her and then starts using that to her advantage.

...

Oh, god. That made frighteningly pleasing images run through my head.

Would it really be so bad to tell her? And make her not tell Amu? It could be our little secret, some little thing we could have in common that wasn't I-hate-you-you-hate-me-let's-go-out-and-kill-Barney.

No way. She would totally tell Amu. And I didn't hate her for that at all. What's wrong with me?

If I was stupid enough to ask my mother, she would say, "Ohhhh, isn't it obvious? You're lovesick and forever dwelling on a girl who will never return your affections. Isn't that so tragic and romantic? Sighhhh...." and then she would give me another one of her books explaining hormones.

And the sad thing? Yeah, she's totally right. I am LOVESICK, like in those scary chick flicks. If I could pinpoint when exactly I fell in love (that word scares me. My mother says it's because men hate commitment like love. Did I mention my mother's a cynical feminist?) it would be... yeah. The minute I walked into the royal garden four years ago. She had taken her guardian cape off, and was sitting next to Amu. Laughing. As soon as she saw me, though, the small happy smile disappeared and turned to interest at the new Jack.

Then it turned to hate.

And made me miserable.

After about two years of putting up with the don't-come-near-Amu-crap, I took a new approach. The, Ha-ha-we're-in-a-love-hate-relationship approach. She starting becoming gradually more flustered and irritated. My best victory moments was when I pushed her so hard she blushed. That's when she whipped out her little orange-bound diary and started writing furiously, every now and then crossing out words due to her horribleness at spelling, a little frown on her face. But she still hated me. I could tell, after being particularly teasing, she'd take out the little book, start tearing holes in the paper, and keep asking me how to spell my name.

Unlike most people, who would find this probably annoying, I found it ridiculously cute.

I have serious issues, don't I?

Anyway, I started wondering how she treated people she DIDN'T hate. And that's when I took advantage of Nadeshiko. At first, I was totally shocked that she could tell it was me, at first. But all it took was a bit of lying, and she warmed up to me. What is it about girls automatically *connecting* to each other like that? It was the exact same with Amu. And when the conversation turned to Temari, it was like she understood. And, to my horror, after that particular episode, after seeing that side of her, it made me fall even more uncontrollably into the trap I had already set up for myself. Made this unbelievable want increase further. And so, to make sure I don't do anything stupid, I have to tell someone.

The only guy who would get this would be... Hotori? Gah. He's the only guy who can talk about lovey-dovey feelings without sounding gay (which he already is, but still).

Later

So I called Hotori, and he ran over right away. "Is something wrong, Fujisaki-san?" he asked, all worried.

"No," I lied. "I just need to tell you something." So we started off, walking down side streets where I knew we wouldn't be overheard. I took a deep breath, and said it rather bluntly. "I-I-think I'm in love with Mashiro."

He was silent for a minute, and then muttered something. "Duh."

"WHAT?"

"duh."

"what do you mean, Duh?"

"about time you got that off your chest. I was wondering how long it would take you."

"you KNEW?"

"it's pretty obvious to everyone except Yaya and the girl in question," said Hotori, fighting back a smile. "love, huh? That's getting into serious territory."

"I know," I groaned.

"well, at least you're admitting it, instead of fighting it back like poor Mashiro," said Hotori, going all sage.

"fighting it...." I almost tripped as it hit me. "what? Fighting.. it... back?"

He looked at me, all *serious*. "it started out jealousy, but after a time I could tell she was getting bored with it. she had two paths: friendship or the unknown field she's never walked. She made a dangerous decision."

Something flipped over in my stomach, and I had a sudden urge to get up and shout in triumph. _She likes me. Maybe. Maybe. Don't get too hopeful. _

Hotori gave a tiny smile, and then went on. "the other day, she ran away to the royal garden. Remember, I told you? anyway, she had been sleeping. And she was muttering something like, 'talk more with Amu-chan and maybe even Nagi.'"

She called me Nagi. In her sleep. Damn, I wish I could've heard my nickname come out her mouth like that in her cute little voice.

So now Hotori knows, and has agreed to keep me from doing anything 'stupid'. And I have made a decision that will either make or ruin my life.

I will get Rima Mashiro.

No matter what it takes.

*************

Unexpected chapter! I needed this chapter from Nagihiko's diary so that all the readers can be clear on Nagi's feelings for Rima and also to fully explain his odd, warped behaviour. Well, now we really have the plotline moving! And poor Tadase stuck in the middle... well it's what he deserves, after all. OK, beware – now that Nagihiko is all "blah blah get Rima no matter what it takes", there's MAJOR Rimahiko fluff coming up (not that anyone's complaining...

As always, please review! Based on your feedback, I might post more chapters stolen out of Nagi's diary or maybe another characters'. Anyway, next chapter it will definitely be Rima again, though! See you then!


	8. His Homemaking Skillz

Rima's Diary~~~Bala-balance! RiRi pwns! Don't you dare read if you value your life.

Monday

It was about half an hour before school started, so all the "Guardians" were hanging out. I walked in, and then Nagihiko immediately turned his head towards me. And I felt like one of those deer caught in headlights, because he was putting those big, soft, innocent (yeah, right) eyes on me. And then, without warning, I felt all the blood rush to my face.

He smirked. "I see Mashiro is ready to blush, as always."

"I'm not blushing!" I snapped.

"Yeah, you are," said Amu mildly. "you look like a chibi tomato."

"chibi tomato," Nagihiko teased.

"Thanks, Amu," I said as I sat down. "so, what were we talking about?"

"I was talking about how I want more sun!" complained Yaya. She had taken to actually using "watashi" instead of speaking in third person lately, and kept her hair down almost all the time. In fact, she had become almost unrecognizable now. Anyway, she continued. "LET'S ALL GO TO THE BEACH! Even you, Nagi-kun. You're so pale."

He fake-winced. "that hurts, Yaya-chan. I happen to like my pale skin. It makes me look like Edward Cullen."

"If Edward Cullen was evil and had hair like a girls'," I muttered under my breath, and Amu laughed.

"you're pale too, Rima-tan!" said Yaya, turning and inspecting me.

"It's because I'm blonde!"

"we all know you bleach your hair, Ri-ri," said Nagihiko, inspecting his nails.

"this is my _natural_ colour! I'll have you know I have a Norwegian grandmother..."

"don't worry," he said, surveying me and his gears whirring in his brain again. "it just makes you look even more like a grade-school aged doll who's never seen the light of day... hmmm, good novel idea."

"I swear to god, one day I will really slip poison into your bento or something..."

"good luck, Master of Disguise."

"You bicker like an old couple," observed Kukai, making us shut up and shoot daggers at each other from either sides of Amu.

"LISTEN TO ME!" yelled Yaya. "anyway... On Saturday it's a nice day. WE ARE GOING TO THE BEACH THIS WEEKEND! NYAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"I don't have a bathing suit," I whined.

"go without one," suggested Amu.

"I wouldn't mind seeing that," volunteered Nagihiko.

"we all don't care about your two-cents-worth. When did you turn into such a Tsukiyomi Ikuto?"

"Not another one!" (this was Tadase and Amu)

And the bickering started all over again.

Later

We had an assembly at the start of school. Our little chubby principal waddled onto the stage and said into his little microphone, "Hello, children. Or should I say... _yo_."

We all groaned.

"as you know, today is Homemaker Day."

"what?" I hissed to the boy in front of me, and he said, "Shhhhh!!!"

"Don't you start on her!" snapped Nagihiko, but Mr. Chubbily-wad (this isn't his real name. I made it up because it sounds funny) kept ploughing on with his speech.

"Homemaker Day is the Day when you decide that, 'Hey, isn't toDay a Day as good as any Day to sharpen your housewife Skillz?"

"Is he kidding?" said Amu, a shocked look on her face (she had gotten a D in Home Ec. last semester. I wasn't too happy at this news either, as I had gotten an F).

"so Homemaker Day is really a Day – well, actually a week –" all the students groaned in unison again. "When all your normal Day subjects are cancelled. Instead, you will go around and do all sorts of Homemaker Skillz, such as Textiles, Food Studies, and Family Planning."

"Family Planning?" I said, aghast. "I don't want children."

"Not even cute, dark-haired children with big innocent brown eyes?" asked Nagihiko.

"your eyes are anything but innocent," I mumbled.

First Period: Food Studies

Ugh. This is going to totally suck.

We're making pudding. What? Pudding? When we're living alone in our bachelor pads, YEAH! we are totally going to have to make pudding.

Also anchovy pizza. Who puts fish on their pizza? Gross.

Would you like to hear my Cooking Group? Ahahaha. Of course you would.

Yaya and THE EVIL MAD GENIUS.

I'm so dead.

Later

The cooking teacher gave us a lovely can full of... DEAD ANCHOVY. AHHHH!!!

Nagihiko was busy stirring the pudding, which right now looks like crap boiled over.

Yaya keeps sneaking in sugar when Nagihiko's not looking (which she does often. He's a total space cadet! Or maybe he just knows he'll get A's no matter what...).

"Ewww!!!" said Yaya, looking at the dead anchovies. "the dead fish want to eat Yaya! You handle them, Rima-taaaan!"

"I don't want to handle them, either!" I said, looking at their blank, unstaring eyes. "just pick them up. They're not going to kill you."

I suddenly saw a twitch of dark blue hair at the side of the window. _Could it be?_ I thought, smiling to myself.

"why are you smiling at the dead fish, Ri-Ri-tan?" asked Nagihiko (when he was looking at me, Yaya dumped more sugar into the pot of pudding).

"I'm not. Uhhhh," I said, looking over at the ingredients over by the window, "It says we need tomato sauce. I'm going to go get some. Okay? Guard the pudding so Yaya doesn't sneak in another spoonful of sugar."

While Nagihiko was lecturing Yaya on how you should never put more sugar then necessary in crap-boiled-over, I ran over to the window and yanked it open.

"You _pervert,_" I hissed at Ikuto. "spying on Amu-chan. And skipping university classes to do so."

"Ehheh," he gave me an evil grin. "I'm taking night classes to fit my nocturnal schedule. So you can't pull that string. Besides, I smell fish."

Then I got a flash of brilliance! I stole the Dead Anchovy and gave the whole tin to Ikuto.

"gee, free food from the coldhearted demon," smirked Ikuto. "I guess that's a bribe to go away. Right?"

"right."

And he jumped off the (second-floor) window, jumped on and off a teacher's car (the car alarm went off) and was gone down an alleyway before anyone could go, "hey, kid! I hope you're gonna pay for that automobile damage!"

Later

Family Studies. Oh, crap.

Me and Amu were playing a game of Tic-Tac-Toe on the side of my binder, when the (crazy homicidal) teacher shrieked, "MA-SHI-RO! Maybe YOOOUUUU can tell us what happens when you have unprotected sex!"

I kind of stared blankly at her for a minute, and I could hear the Evil Mad Genius chuckling behind me.

".... You get ADHD. Right?"

"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!" said the teacher, her eyes bulging maniacally. "THAT'S WROOOOOOOOONGGG!!! YOU GET STDs, YOU SILLY GIRL, NOT ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVE DISORDER!"

"or," she said, her voice going insanely high and shrieky, "you get pregnant! And that's TERRIBLLLLEEE!!!" her voice went even higher so it was bordering on opera.

"Fujisaki!" she said, leering quite unpleasantly, "what happens when you get pregnant?"

"You become famous for being the first man to give birth?" guessed Nagihiko.

"I MEAN FOR WOMEN!!!!" screamed the teacher. "HINAMOOOOORIIIII???"

"Uhhhh... OH!" she said, actually waking up. "well... err..." she quickly assumed her 'cool and spicy' attitude. "why would you get pregnant? That's really stupid." Her fangirls nodded in agreement.

While the teacher ranted and raved about how it increased your chance by .00000000000123 % of having a two-headed baby or whatever, Nagihiko started laughing behind his hand.

"what's so funny?" asked Kukai.

He mumbled, "ADHD," and kept laughing.

"NOW!" said the teacher. "I'M GIVING YOU AND YOUR PARTNER A CHILD TO RAISE FOR THE NEXT WEEK!" she held up an egg.

"that's not a child!" said Kukai indignantly.

"SHUT UP, SOMA!" the teacher screamed, and he shut up.

She blathered off some names. Then I heard her mutter 'eenie-miney-mo' and scream, "HINAMORI AND TADASE!"

"Waaaaahh!!" mourned all the Prince fangirls.

"SIIIILENCCEEE!!!" the teacher yelled and it was silent.

"we can still hope for Fujisaki-kun," one of them said eagerly, and I had a sudden urge to punch them in the face.

Am I getting homicidal?

"_it-skit-you-are-it_" I heard her mutter, running her finger up the register. "SOMA NAD YUIKI!"

Yaya went red. "I'm still a kid! How can I raise one myself?"

"play with it and feed it lollipops," suggested Kukai vaguely, and she cheered up immediately. "Yaya will feed it lollipops every day... Muahahahaha...." she said, her eyes crackling with chibi-fire.

I was so busy listening to the lollipop-conversation that I jumped when she said the dreaded words (after running her finger up and down the register with her eyes closed):

"MASHIRO AND FUJISAKI."

NOOOOO! NO! NO! THIS ISN'T HAPPENING! THIS IS A HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE I'M GOING TO WAKE UP FROM!

"wake up," I told myself, but all that happened was some guy looked at me weirdly because I was talking to myself.

"stop looking at her or I kill you," I heard Nagihiko mutter menacingly. Why?

Weird.

Anyway, she gave me the egg and said loudly, "I WANT LOVING, HAPPY COUPLES AND NO FEUDING. DIVORCE IS NOT ALLOWED!"

"what do you mean, divorce is not allowed?" I asked, looking at her in horror. "what if you don't like the person you're paired with?"

"OOOOHH, YOU HORRIBLE GIRL! HOW COULD YOU THINK OF ABANDONING YOUR CHILD? OH, HOW FRIIIIGHHHTFULLLL!!!"

So I shut up.

"what a happy, loving couple we are," said Nagihiko serenely from behind me.

Oh, I'm going to go crazy one of these days.

"I'm going to name egg-chan Suki!" said Yaya excitedly.

"what? We have to name it?" I asked.

"yep!" said Nagihiko, trying to fight back laughter now. "what should we name it?"

"Name it whatever the hell you want," I grumbled. "just run it through me first so that he doesn't end up with a name like Putrid."

He wrote down a whole bunch, and kept going through this serious process of eliminating them (with help form Amu and Kukai).

"Ok, Ri-Ri-tan. We're left with two." He told me a while later. "Putrid and Riko."

"you can go ahead and eliminate Putrid."

"What? I like the name Putrid!" whined Kukai.

"we can name it Putrid if it starts to go bad and smell," I told him.

Amu laughed. "They'll all be like, 'God! What is that putrid smell?' and we'll be like, 'PUTRID!'" she laughed, fighting back tears.

So he handed the form back to the teacher. "OK!" she yelled. "THE NAMES ARE FINAL. NO CHANGING!"

"I guess this is a good time to tell you that 'Riko' is actually a combination of our own names," Nagihiko told me.

"damn you!" I cursed.

"love you too, Ri-Ri-tan."

I'll continue this horrible chronicle of Homemaker Week tomorrow.

********

I'm really churning these chapters out quickly now! Woahhh.

Anyway, thank you to everyone who reviewed! The review number on RCS has now surpassed the one on Maniac Diaries, my older fanfictions!

Oh, one thing clear: Nagihiko brings up the doomed subject of Edward Cullen in this chapter. Let's make one thing clear: THE BOOK PWNS. EDWARD IS A CREEPY STALKER. THE END.

Bai~!!


	9. His Sewing Skillz

Finishing the rest of what happened during Homemaker Week (oh horrors)

Ok, after the family planning disaster we had sewing. Guess what? I'm just about as good with a sewing machine as I am with a frying pan.

"Why don't you take our child first, Ri-Ri-tan?" asked Nagihiko.

"Stop calling it _our child!_" I hissed. "And because it hates my guts."

He snorted.

Textiles

So we're making tote bags. Tote bags are easy, right?

No. I can't even thread my sewing machine!

"The Pfaff HATES me!" I whined.

"It's not a Pfaff, it's a sewing machine," the teacher told me.

"but it says 'Pfaff' at the top so I'm naming it Pfaff."

The teacher gave up.

"Amu!" I cried. "I need help. The stupid needle isn't moving at all."

She tried moving the hand control. It didn't budge.

"oh. I don't know," she said, sounding very flustered. "why won't it move?"

"I don't know, either!."

"Why don't you ask Nagi?" "Nagi" was – big surprise – already finished. Geez. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he was a boy disguised as a girl.

That would be really funny. And the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. That's what having a twin sister does to you!

"Ri-Ri-tan, I see you're off in la-la land with that journal again. What the hell did you do to your machine?"

I gave him an evil look. "the thing is perfectly fine. Why don't you go back to your wife, the Pfaff 1548?"

"very funny. Would you like to see what's wrong with your sewing machine?"

"NO."

But he did anyway. He pressed some fiddly diddly button that only a watchmaker would know about and opened up the compartment where the thread below was. It was a mess. It looked totally like a kajillion drunk spiders had gotten in there and started weaving up a storm.

"ha!" he laughed rather humorlessly. "yes. Your machine is just fine."

"really?"

"sarcasm."

I took us both fifteen minutes to untangle the mess. (us = Nagihiko does all the work and I sit there and make "helpful" comments).

"Okay," he sighed. "because we only have forty-five minutes left, I'm going to have to help you."

"Oh, no! I'm sure you'd rather be slacking off."

And then, to my utter horror, he put his hands on top of mine and started moving them. "Rima. Stop putting your hands there."

"why?"

"there right in the way of the needle. Didn't you know that?"

"no."

He moved them back, and I felt really really sick.

"put your foot on the pedal."

"what? What pedal?"

It was a long, long, long textiles class.

Family Planning

"MAAAAAAAASHIIIIIIROOOO!!!" yelled Mrs. Psycho. "HOW HAS YOUR PARENTING BEEN GOING?"

"ish."

"ISH IS NOOOOOTT A WOOOORRDDD!!! OH, HOW FRRIIIIIGHHTTTFULLL!!!"

"well, we've had some custody issues."

"IT'S JOINT CUSTODY, YOU BAKA, BAKA GIRL! YOU HAVE NO CHOICE! "

"er, not really. It's more I don't want to carry the egg around but I swear Fujisaki doesn't mind."

"HORRIBLLLEE!!!! HORRIBLLLEE!!!!" screamed Ms. Psycho, rocking back and forth in paroxysms of emotional instability (I stole that phrase off Nagihiko's English essay).

"now," she said, her voice dropping dramatically low again. "TAAAAADAAAASEEEEE!!!!" she screamed, her voice going up and down the scale dramatically. "WHAAATTT happens when a teenage mother TAKES DRUUUUGGSSS AND ALLLKOHOLLLLL????!?!!"

Thirty seconds later

Nagihiko tapped me on the shoulder. "Mashiro, you spelt alcohol wrong."

"screw you."

ANYWAY, CONTINUING….

And Tadase kind of panicked. "…eh? Heh heh. Ummm… your baby ends up… retarded?"

And then KusuKusu started laughing crazily. Obviously, no one could hear her, but the idiot character-changed with me so I started laughing too.

"MASHIIIROOOOO!!!!" screamed Ms. Psycho, her eyes bulging so much I thought they might pop. Ewww. I could see all the veins, too. "WHAAATTT IIIS SOOO FANNYYYYY????!!!"

"you mean funny?" asked Amu.

"THAT'S WHAT I SAAIIID!!! FAAANNYYYY!!!"

"Rima-tan has never heard Tadase say 'retarded!'" I said through giggles.

"you just spoke in third person," Yaya pointed out, just in time for the green stars to go *poof* off my cheeks.

"very funny," I said through gritted teeth.

The bell rang just then, and we all ran out. And then, what to our horrified eyes should appear but Yamabuki Saaya and a bunch of other girls clustered around the notice board.

That can't mean anything good.

* * *

A bit of Rimahiko, but not that much. *eh* oh well. Anyway, GOOD NEWS! I now have thought up a great ending to this fanfiction. Don't worry, it won't end for awhile (I don't' think) but I will say this: it has a bunch of heart-breaking Rimahiko fluff (duh) and a bit of Amuto too… just because I like Ikuto-chan… ^-^ actually, Ikuto's going to play a pretty big role in the ending…

Amuto-fan-neko-san posed an interesting question: IS THE TEACHER LADY THE INSANE CHICK OFF FRUITS BASKET? I'll answer that in the next chapter just to torture you all, and if you still don't get it I'll give you the real explanation in the next random section down here.

NEXT CHAPTER: the Guardians&Co. go to the beach! Yay! And AFTER THAT, a school play. NO, Nagi's not playing the lead role, but Rima is (Rima cannot act… that's what'll make it funny…) I'll leave the name of the play as a surprise, but here's a hint: cards. Actually, that's a really big hint… so I've just totally given that away =_=. *URK*.


	10. His Corrections to my Spelling

Friday

Family Studies

FINALLY! We can ditch stupid Riko. As soon as Mrs. Psycho scribbled what suspiciously looked like a D in her marking book, Nagihiko handed it to me. "You can do the honors, Rima."

And then I threw Riko against the wall, and Riko exploded and got egg all over the floor. Man! And did it ever feel good. Ha ha, Riko!

Then suddenly this girl walked in with long, orange hair. "mom," she said, "you forgot your lunch." I expected Ms. Psycho to scream her head off at this girl, but instead she went, "Ohhhh, thank you, Ritsu-kun."

"Kun?" I asked her.

"yes," said Ms. Psycho stiffly. "Ritsu is my son."

"A cross dressing-son."

Wrong thing to say.

She yelled at me for half an hour, and now I have a detention.

Lunchtime

Good (or maybe bad) news: Ami's egg hatched! Luckily, it was when she was sitting with us at the high school for lunch, as it's fairly close to Seiyo Elementary.

She just suddenly shrieked, "I feel a thing in my pocket shaking!"

"get it!" said Tadase.

"get what?!" said Ami, getting more and more panicked.

"the egg, stupid!" said Amu.

Ami dove for the pocket of her backpack and retrieved the little pink-and-white egg, and it was then that there was a big explosion and a little orange-haired Chara appeared. It then began to squeak in delight. "arigato, Ami-chaaan!!! It was getting really cramped in there! My name is Pitchi."

Amu suddenly said, "WATCH OUT, Ami! She might want to do a character cha-"

But at that moment Pitchi yawned widely, and then she was all, "O-K, Ami-chii. Let's try a character change, NEEE?!" before Ami (or anyone) could get a word in edgewise, Ami's hairclip changed into a music note. And then Ami started to sing, "Meikyu Butterfly". Except it was REALLY, REALLY GOOD (rather than her usual amount of talent, which was quite crappy). We were all quite amazed.

Then Ami changed back, and prodded Pitchi back into her egg. "No more character changes without express permission from Ami. Ne?"

"Ne," came the muffled reply.

After School

My mom was in a good mood Friday. She was humming and making waffles. Actually, it might have been because my dad was in Osaka that day on a business trip, but whatever. I took advantage of that and asked her if we could go out and get me a bathing suit.

"you can just borrow one of mine!" she said breezily, and then took a hasty look at me. "Oh, I guess not. You're still too flat as a board to fit into mine."

"thanks."

"oh, you'll grow, honey!"

When was the last time she called me _honey_?

"so… can we get one?"

"okay! I know this really cute store –"

"mom. No ruffles. No bikinis. Get one and I kill you."

She sighed, disappointed.

Saturday

Okay. That good mood didn't last very long, as that night "they" (who are most definitely not my mother and father) had a humongous fight again.

But at least I got my swimsuit! It's orange and red… KusuKusu made me choose it because that way I can match her.

Amu's car

Thank god I was able to get a ride with Amu, because no way in hell am I going to let my mother behind the wheel with steam gushing out of her ears and let her drive me all the way to the beach.

Sadly, Evil Mad Genius conveniently has to carpul with us too.

30 seconds later

The Evil Mad Genius so kindly tells me it's spelled _carpool_.

"will you stop reading my diary?!" I yelled at him.

"why? Is there anything in there you don't want me to see?"

"damn straight, yeah!"

"you're starting to talk with a Nagoya accent like Lulu," observed Amu. Nagihiko pressed on. "and what would be in there? How much I piss you off? Because I know that." Evil grin. Brain gears whirring. "of course, what you really want to hide from me is how you write about me in that thing late at night, like a lovesick teenager in the movies…"

"shut up!"

"you only say that when I'm telling the truth, right?"

I showed him a page at random (which probably wasn't wise but…). "see? Ha-ha! No stupid lovesick writing."

A crease formed between his eyebrows. "you're parents fight?"

"what? No!" I quickly shut it closed. "the point is… I don't like you. HA!"

"you sound almost happy," he commented, but he was silent the rest of the way.

At the beach. Ugggs;kdlf;asd;fs

Amu and Yaya and everyone except me and Tadase have gone swimming. In the OCEAN. Don't they know how much bacteria and other gross stuff like _e. coli_ flourish in seawater? And it must be FREEZING.

"no swimming for the blondes, then?" asked Kukai.

"it's not because we're blond!" whined Tadase. "I'm allergic to salt water."

"liar," I said. "you went to Hawaii a couple years ago and went swimming... remember?"

"oh..."

"what's your excuse, Rima?" demanded Amu. "the water's fine."

"I don't like swimming."

"now that I think about it, you never go swimming," commented Yaya. "Rima-tan is like a kitty!"

"you don't know how to swim, do you, Mashiro?" asked Nagihiko, who had been eavesdropping.

"THAT'S NOT IT AT ALL!"

"do you deny it?"

I was silent.

"that means yes," whispered Nagihiko conspiratorially.

"well, here's how _I _learned to swim," said Amu and, without any forewarning, picked me up and threw me into the ocean! NASTIII! On instinct I started kicking, and Amu said, "SEE? SHE'S SWIMMING!" all *triumphant*.

Tadase went to sleep.

12:30

Amu declared a "splash fight".

"what's that?" asked Yaya, and I splashed her. "duh."

"that was meeeean, Rima-taaan!"

And thus, a fight broke up. While I was fighting with Yaya, Nagihiko doused me from behind .

"pffffft!" he started laughing. "that was totally worth it just to see your face!"

"YOU'RE SO DEAD, FUJISAKI!"

And, sadly, he pwned me. Boo.

30 seconds later

Nagihiko so kindly tells me that 'pwned' is not a word.

Lunchtime 

NOOO!!! A TERRIBLE THING HAPPNEED!!!

I was just eating my lunch like a kind, caring civilian when

30 seconds later

Nagihiko says, "you aren't kind and caring, Mashiro. If anything, don't lie to your diary."

ANYWAY, CARRYING ON...

ANYWAY, I was just eating my lunch like a rather mean and nasty civilian when a seagull swooped down and stole by lunch!!!

"IT STOLE MY LUNCH!" I yelled in a high-pitched voice.

"very good... did you figure that out all by yourself?" asked Nagihiko mildly.

"shut up."

The seagull made a funny noise.

"IT'S LAUGHING AT ME!!!" I yelled, horrified.

"who doesn't laugh at you?"

"keep your little witty comments to yourself, Fujisaki."

Amu and KusuKusu started laughing then, and I turned around to look at them.

"KusuKusu!" I suddenly snapped. "come here."

She floated over.

I put her in my hand, and then I realized it must be true. She was lighter than she usually was. And her face was more washed-out.

I screwed up my face really tight, knowing what I had to do.

"Ehheh... Mashiro-san, you don't have to cry over a bit of lunch," said Tadase.

"no... no. that's not it."

There was a bit of silence as I kind of sat there for a minute, thinking with KusuKusu sitting in my hand.

"Nagihiko," I said quietly.

He actually turned around in the other direction first, thinking it was somebody else. Then, he slowly turned around.

"what is it, Rima?"

I didn't bother correcting him this time.

"do you know what happened when Temari started to fade?"

Amu choked on her drink, Yaya stifled a shriek and Tadase quickly turned his face in the other direction so we couldn't see his face.

He paused for a minute and then said, "she started getting sick. But why..."

"how sick?" I interrupted. My voice was kind of high again. Scary.

"well, she started losing weight, and got kind of pale..."

I spoke to KusuKusu sharply, cutting him off again. "WHY?"

She squeaked, a little fainter, "I don't know. I don't know. _Help_, Rima-tan!"

"no!" I said, really loudly, not caring that anyone was watching. "You're _not_ going to disappear. Okay?"

"no, no, Rima-chan. You don't understand."

"explain, then!"

"this is going to happen to you all eventually."

"_Us?_ _You're _the one who's disappearing!"

"Rima-chan... the same thing will probably happen soon to Yoru and Miki-chan."

"what?! No!" exploded Amu.

"maybe it's just my time." Her eyes were kind of sad, and she got slightly lighter.

I felt hands brush mine, and I saw Nagihiko lift KusuKusu out of my hand. "Do you know if it's happening to Kairi, too?"

"Has been for a while," she replied.

"wait!" I snapped. "why am I the only one who doesn't know what's going on?!"

Amu laughed nervously. "I think Nagi's the only one who knows what's going on."

Nagihiko was still talking with my Chara. I heard him say in a low voice, "but why Rima?"

"You already have that answer."

Then he turned red.

"Hey!" I snapped. "Break it up! KusuKusu needs to rest."

And that ended the incredibly worrying conversation. And by that time, the seagull had also ended my lunch.

* * *

Tsuki-chan, as always ^^. I TOTALLY didn't expect it to go in this serious a direction. I also wonder if anyone's figured out why the charas are disappearing... if you think you know why, I actually kind of stole this idea from the Golden Compass. I just got this idea where it's like, "hey! They never tell you when and why Shugo charas disappear!", so yeah.

You also meet Pitchi-chan in this chapter. I drew a picture of her and nine-year-old Ami and I might upload it if you're curious about how I imagine both of them ^^

Oh, yes! Now, finally, the answer.... IS THE FAMILY STUDIES TEACHER CONCUBINE-SAN FROM FURUBA? Yes and no. in the beginning, she was just a really spazzy character that I randomly brought in. I was just like, "haha! I like writing dialogue for this person!" but then after awhile she turned kind of like the loony woman from Fruits Basket. So *eh* why not stick Ritsu in there too? XD

NEXT CHAPTER: Teh Skool Play! Yamabuki Saaya makes her debut appearance in this chapter (I actually kind of think she's funny in a sad kind of way). And also Nagi-kun gets to run around in a rabbit costume. Give ya any hint? Yeah I totally gave that away -_-.


	11. His Pale Skin is Put to Good Use

Monday

Wow! Great news! We are all being forced by Mr. Chubbily-wad, King of the Timetable, to drop one class and take up DRAMA.

At least I can drop accursed sewing. Yay!

Break

Amu, Nagihiko, and I were just walking around aimlessly in no direction at all through the hallways when we were confronted by Psycho Jr., a.k.a. Yamabuki Saaya.

"HINAMORI AMU!" she shrieked. "I WILL BE WAITING IN DRAMA CLASS TO HAVE THE ULTIMATE THEATRE CONTEST!"

"She's in our drama class?" I told Amu. "Wow. Sucks to be you."

"OH-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO!" she laughed maniacally.

Drama class

While Amu was getting the mental guts beat out of her by Saaya in the corner, our Drama teacher Kanaka Nakamura was giving us this big talk.

"NO monkey business, no littering, no loitering, no spitting, no eating, no drinking, no talk-back-ing, and Oh Yeah, we're doing a school play and that's what this class is for."

"What?! We all said in unison.

"no, no, not What! We're actually doing Alice in Wonderland."

"what?! We all said again.

"don't you listen to me? Now, I'm going to pick characters right now based on looks. I don't give a damn if you can act like a movie star but you don't look like the character at all. Got it?"

"yes."

"Good. YOU! the blonde kid in the back!"

Tadase woke up out of his doze. "what?"

"do you wanna play Alice?"

"I'm a guy!" said Tadase defensively.

"really? I couldn't tell. Anyway, what other blonde people do we have to play Alice?"

I ducked my head.

"Aww, I see a little blond grade-schooler trying to hide from my hawk-eyes. You're Alice. Got it?"

"I don't want to be Alice!"

" RULE NUMBER SEVEN! NO TALK-BACK-ING!"

"yes," I said meekly.

"are you any good at acting?"

"no."

(Nagihiko then snorted in the background).

She sighed. "Whatever. at least you're cute, blond, and little."

"I'm not little!"

She purposely ignored me. Actually, it was at this moment she noticed Saaya mentally abusing Amu in the corner.

"Hinamori and Yamabuki! OVER HERE! La-di-dah, we should get you both out of the way and into roles."

"Nakamura-sensei scares me," murmured Yaya.

"No! Really?" muttered Kukai.

"SILENCE!" yelled Nakamura-sensei. "Now... the girl with the 'tude and the pinky-purple hair. FORWARD!"

Amu ran forward.

"it's Himamori, right?"

"uh, no. actually, it's Hina-

"I DON'T CARE! Nikaidou Yuu told me that's what it was. Huh. I see you look good in the colour red."

"uh, well, actually –

"WELL, since you look so good in red, we'll make you the Queen of Hearts. Yay! You get to execute people!"

Amu kind of stared at Nakamura-sensei blankly.

"Nakamura-sensei!!!" said Saaya really loudly and obnockshusly. (Nagihiko tells me it's, "obnoxious", but you get the idea.) "I want to be Alice!"

"and I want to be Empress of China," retorted Nakamura-sensei. "you're not blond. You can be the three of diamonds or the nine of spades. Which one?"

Then she turned around and caught all the ex-guardians talking. "Queen of Hearts, Alice, and nameless friends. STOP TALKING! So you're my problem kids, huh?"

"No, not-" Tadase began, but Naka-sensei shut him up with a look. The she caught Nagihiko laughing, and inspected him. HA! Maybe with luck she'll make him the duchess or something.

"you're really pale," was her only comment.

"Not really," he said, laughing nervously.

"own a pocket watch?" she snapped at him.

"is that a rhetorical question?" he retorted.

Then she started laughing. "aren't you smart! Well, you seem pretty pale and all well-mannerly ("my ass," I muttered, but no one heard me), so I'll make you the White Rabbit! Yay!"

He looked kind of scared. "Oh, er, I wasn't really-"

She ignored him. "huzzah, and all that."

I gave him an evil grin, and he gave me a death glare. Interesting. He's turning into me what iwth all the death glares now.

Tadase was laughing with Amu about something (which was getting her evil looks from the Tadase fangirls) and Naka-sensei scuttled over. "Oooh!!! Are you two going out?"

"N-no!" said Amu nervously, and I noticed Ikuto grit his teeth behind a bush outside. _Creepy stalker,_ I thought, but smiled wryly to myself.

"you look really cute together! Just for that, Hotori-chan here can be the King of Hearts. Yay!"

They both went red, and I'm surprised Ikuto wasn't banging his head on the wall right now.

She than made everyone else line up. After a particularly touching monologue about how Hinamori Amu was so, so, dead, Yamabuki Saaya got promoted to Duchess. One of her fangirls ended up the cook. When Yaya said, "nyah" she got randomly assigned the role of Cheshire Cat. And when Kukai fell asleep, he earned himself the part of the dormouse because he looked 'cute when he's sleeping'.

"The fangirls will totally go for that!" said Naka-sensei, flame burning maniacally in her eyes.

Then she made me put a black ribbon in my hair. I used to when I was younger, but I had ditched the ribbon this year and started having a different hairstyle everyday, like ponytails and stuff. So it felt really weird to have a damn ribbon around my head again.

"Now say, 'curiouser and curiouser!" she ordered.

"curiouser and curiouser," I said in a bored voice.

"GOOODD!!!" she said. "I love that bored-teenager attitude of yours, young lady!"

I thought she was being sarcastic until she turned to Nagihiko.

"THIS," she said, "is a pocket-watch! Look at it and say, 'Oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late!'"

I had a pain in my side from trying to laugh as he said in a monotone, "Oh, dear. Oh, dear. I shall-be-too-late." Amu, Yaya, and Kukai's faces were all red form stifled laughter, too.

"Himamori-chan!" yelled Naka-sensei. "now you say, 'off with his head!'"

Tadase giggled a little then.

"why?!" retorted Amu. We could all hear the 'cool and spicy' tone back in her voice. "you haven't explained why. That's ridiculous."

I saw Ikuto silently laugh through the window. I guess cat ears can even hear through glass. Then again, it would be pretty hard for someone NOT to hear Naka-sensei.

"JUST SAY IT!!!!" screamed Naka-sensei.

"off-with-his-head!" squeaked Amu really fast, and Ikuto fell over onto the grass, laughing his ass off. And I can't exactly blame him.

Oh, god. I just felt something nudge my pocket, and I rushed out. I don't even care if Naka-sensei busts me later.

Outside

"KusuKusu!" I shrieked quietly, wrenching the egg open.

"Rima-tan!" she said, trying to keep upbeat. "what is it?" she had gone even paler now. And she weighed almost nothing. Actually, I could feel myself hyperventilating.

"is there anything I could do to make you not disappear?" I asked, trying to keep the tears out of my eyes. NO way am I going to let some kid playing hooky in the halls see the amazing Rima Mashiro on the verge of tears.

"Yes," she replied, "I think so. But no way in hell am I going to ask that of you. No way!"

"anything!" I insisted.

"No!" she said, glaring at me. I had never seen KusuKusu glare. She was always happy, and rarely got into arguments.

"you're going to let this happen to yourself? I need you! what will I do when I'm upset? Or when Mom and Dad fight?!"

KusuKusu gave me a grin. "A time comes when you don't need Guardian Charas to make you feel better. You get something else instead. Ne, Rima-tan?"

One of the tears spilled over, and I wiped it away hurriedly. That's when the bell rang, and I quickly got off the floor as the hallways filled with students, getting out the door before the pesky hall monitors gave them detention.

"Rima?" someone said behind me. "are you coming?"

"go away, Fujisaki," I mumbled, still wiping my eyes.

"Oooh, I'm so hurt. You're going to have to try harder if you want to get rid of me."

"stop it, Ri-Ri-tan," said KusuKusu. "Clowns don't act that way."

She settled herself comfortably on his shoulder.

"you're all betraying me," I grumbled, putting my school coat on and picking my bag.

"Rima?" said Nagihiko suddenly. I noticed the halls were empty. Why do we always end up alone? I bet Amu is ditching me on purpose. Nasty. He said quietly, "You've been crying."

"you'd cry too if your Shugo Chara was on the brink of death, and she says that you don't need her anymore," I said, but I went red anyway.

Then he hugged me from behind. "What's with the hugging?" I asked, trying not to get choked up again. Well, at least I was talking this time, instead of standing there dumbfounded while he evaporated.

"Niiii," he said, sticking his tongue out. "you're my friend. Right?"

"What? No way! I hate you, remember?"

"Sure you do. Okay. Although you're Amu's best friend too. You know that, don't you?"

I stopped so fast he walked into me. "Really?"

"Yeah."

We walked in silence for about five minutes until I thought up another question. "why are you stalking me?"

"Stalking is not walking next to someone. Stalking is following someone by jumping from tree to tree like Ikuto is doing to Amu right now."

"creepy stalker. Did you see him looking at her during Drama, too?"

He laughed, but then sobered up again. "She's going to have to choose someday, won't she?"

"yep." I felt my eyes then. They still felt hot. "Nagihiko," (I regretted the minute the words came out of my mouth, as I accidentally called him by his first name), "are my eyes still red?"

He looked. "uh, yeah. Do you have any allergies? Actually, your entire face is red."

"I don't know. Well, I was out that whole time in that freezing hallway because the thermostat was broken."

"that must be it-" but that's when I tripped over a crack in the sidewalk. Who does that? It's like tripping over a cordless phone. And then I fell backwards and HE CAUGHT ME. And as soon as I tried to stand up, I tripped again and he had to catch me again and all I remember thinking was, "_you BAKA, Ri-Ri-tan! You BAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKABAKA." _

"Rima? I think you have a fever," he sounded really upset, too, like the world was coming to an end.

"I can stand perfectly well. See?" I said, but my legs were all wobbly.

"all the same... do you want me to carry you?" he grinned. Evilly.

"No. No way."

Later

When I fell down for the fifth time, he finally went, "Oh, screw it," and picked me up. Not like a little kid, either, but draped across his arms. Kind of like in shojo manga when the girl passes out and the guy carries her to the hospital or whatever and there are flowers dotted on every panel.

"you're horrible," I said, and he just laughed.

NASTI;lakjsd;fdss god I'm sleepy.

My bedroom

The first thing I thought when I woke up in my bed at home was :_"you baka. BAKABAKABAKABAKABAKA."_ The second thing was, _"where's Nagihiko?" _third was, _"why am I in my bedroom?_" and the fourth finally made sense: _"he must have carried me all the way up the stairs. Never mind that; he came into my HOUSE!" _

Then my mom walked in, all worried. "Oh, Rima! You're up! Good. I want to talk to you about something."

"what?"

She made herself comfortable in my swiveling desk chair, and then she said slyly, "who was that boy? He's cute."

I smiled. "just a friend."

* * *

I'm such a dork that I actually looked up fever symptoms to write this chapter! How lame! Anyway, Ri-Ri-tan and Nagi are friends now, Yay! Oh yeah, speaking of Yay!... NAKA-SENSEI PWNS. How could anyone not love her? (besides her whole class, I mean.) Oh yeah, and I know Nagi's supposed to be good at drama, but he's not THAT good XD. Bunny suit, here we come~!

Oh, yeah --- good or bad news! You decide! I'm going to Toronto for spring break. Leaving Wednesday, coming back Saturday. So if there's a big three-day gap where you're all left hanging on RiRi and Nagi, it's because I'm getting the crap scared out of me on top of the CN Tower or something. But I promise to squeeze out as many chapters before and after!

NEXT CHAPTER: A surprise bonus crossover story. TwilightSkyBlue gave me the idea. Yay! XD


	12. Bonus Story: Shugo Twilight!

**AN: Tsukasa is the name of the creepy headmaster dude who looks like Tadase's dad (he's actually his uncle). You know, they guy who's so obsessed with cats he wants to marry Ikuto!**

Tsukasa knocked on the door of his gay nephew's room. "Hotori-chaaan! I came over to visit you and your darling family!"

"Oh, crap," muttered Tadase under his breath. He supposed the best way to escape was to pretend he didn't hear him. He turned the page.

"_Our relationship couldn't continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending entirely on his decision, or his instincts. My decision was made, made before I'd ever consciously chosen, and I was committed to seeing it through. Because there was nothing more terrifying to me, more excruciating, than the thought of turning away from him. It was an impossibility.__"_

Tears rose in Tadase's eyes. A beautiful speech like that from Bella Swan could even make him forgive his crazy uncle!

"Hotori? Hello?"

He sighed, and opened the door. _Do it for Edward and Bella, Hotori. Edward and Bella would want you to be nice to your ex-headmaster-slash-uncle. _

"Oooh, see you've been reading. What's the title?"

His eyes lit up fanatically. "it's Twilight!"

"About...?"

"it's about a human girl and a sparkling vampire that fall in love!"

"a sparkling vampire? love?"

"forbidden love!" said Tadase, still with the maniac sparkle in his eyes.

"you're reading... a love story... aimed at teenage girls," said Tsukasa, perusing the back cover of the apple-adorned book.

He flipped open to the page that said PREFACE.

"_I'd never given much thought to how I would die--though I'd had reason enough in the last few months--but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this._

I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me.

Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something.

I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it is unreasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.

The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me."

It was several seconds until Tsukasa realized he had been holding his breath. He released it slowly. "Can I borrow this?" not waiting for an answer, he ran out with the black hardcover.

......x..X...xx....X..x......

As soon as he got home, he got into his Barney Jammies and jumped into bed with _Twilight._ "Whee!!" he said, and continued to read. For a long time, the only movement was the turning of pages and Tsukasa's loony cats prowling around the house. But soon, the turning of pages was replaced by loud snores. Tsukasa was asleep on page two hundred seventy-one (literally).

"DAMMIT!" screamed Rima, running out of her bedroom. "WHO USED UP ALL THE HOT WATER?!"

"that would be me," said Nagihiko idly, turning a page of the newspaper.

"oh, stop fighting!" diddled Utau, who was wearing a frilly apron.

"so it was _you,_ Jasper? Good god! What do you need hot water for? Me, on the other hand..."

"Oh, Rosalie, now I remember. You need it for your wrinkles, right?"

"what?" barked Rima – er – Rosalie. "I don't ever, ever have wrinkles. I am a vampire. We do not get wrinkles. Baka!" the last comment was turned towards Amu, who just walked in.

"you mean me? Bella?"

"that's what I said! Baka! Do you or Esme (_who, evidently, is Utau_, thought Tsukasa in his dream) know where my MarioKart video game went? I can't find it anywhere!"

"Oh," said Amu – whoops, I mean Bella – with a guilty look on her face. "I dunno where. Why don't you ask Carlisle?"

Rosalie-Rima slid down the banister with a mournful air. "I would, but he's doing creepy medical stuff in his room."

"you mean _our_ room," corrected Esme-Utau. "I do so hope he's not getting blood on the sheets."

"I wouldn't mind that," said Kukai, walking in and sitting down at the Cullen's kitchen table next to Nagihiko-Jasper.

"Yes, you would," snapped Esme-Utau. "we're vegetarians, aren't we? No human blood for you, Emmett McCarty Cullen."

"whatever, _mom,_" retorted Kukai-Emmett, and Nagihiko-Jasper laughed.

"so does anyone know where MarioKart went? I'm having a rematch with Edward!" said Rosalie-Rima, joining everyone else down at the table.

"again? When are you just going to admit he's better than you?" said Nagihiko-Jasper, still reading the paper.

"never!" snapped Rosalie-Rima, and fell into a disgruntled silence.

"I see bus fares went up again, just as Alice predicted," said Nagihiko-Jasper, interrupting the silence.

"I knew you'd say my name!' trilled Yaya, dancing into the kitchen.

"Isn't Edward having you keep an eye on the Volturi (_Now that I think about it, the Volturi _are_ like Easter_, thought Tsukasa), not on when we're going to talk about you, Alice?" asked Kukai-Emmett.

"Oh, PISH. It's gets boring. And _he's _too busy playing MarioKart in the living room to read my thoughts," retorted Yaya-Alice. "Hey, Bella-chii! Let's go up to my room! I just got a whole shipment of cool clothes from Spain and you're going to be my dress-up doll!"

"What? No!" said Amu-Bella, who had been trying to be inconspicuous and silent.

"come on, come on, Rosalie-tan will come too!" whined Yaya-Alice, tugging her arm.

"NO WAY!" growled Rosalie-Rima, glowering in the direction of the living room. "I'm going to go pwn Edward in MarioKart."

"I'd like to see that," said Tadase cheerfully, who had just walked in.

"I think me, too, Carlisle," said Nagihiko-Jasper, getting up and stretching.

The Cullens all piled into the living room, where Ikuto was sitting on the floor playing MarioKart furiously.

"EDWARD! I DECLARE A RE-MATCH!" yelled Rosalie-Rima, snatching up the second game console and flicking through menus on the TV.

"You never give up, do you, Rosalie?" said Ikuto-Edward mildly. "Fine. Bella, darling, come sit next to me. You're good luck."

_This is scaring me! _Thought Tsukasa, panicking. _Ikuto would never... ever, EVER talk in a sappy tone like that!_

Kukai-Emmett seemed to agree with Tsukasa, as he mimed barfing behind his hand.

"OK!" said Rosalie-Rima, eyes burning maniacally with chibi-flame. "IT'S SO ON!"

_Beep beep beep beep beep. _

"What's that noise?" said Yaya-Alice curiously.

"I don't know," said Tadase-Carlisle happily. "but Edward seems to be winning... again... like he always does. Is there anything he's not good at? What a Mary-Sue."

_Beep beep beep beep beep. _

Tsukasa woke up abruptly, pressing the SNOOZE button on his alarm clock. Automatically, he turned towards the calendar and saw what day it was.

"Happy Spring Break, everyone!"

* * *

I got this idea because TwilightSkyBlue remarked that Rima would make a good Rosalie because she was blond (and spazzy ;)) . And then I remembered how they describe Carlisle as blond and insanely nice and Tadase is too! And that's what got the story moving. However, the characters don't match in terms of couples, or else Nagihiko would be with Yaya and Kukai with Rima and then the title, "A Rimahiko fanfiction" would be pointless. The one couple that is true, though, is... AMUTO! Although I can't see the word 'darling' coming out of Ikuto's mouth either.

It's just a little break from the mundane Rimahiko plotline, it'll be back to normal next chapter :).

NEXT CHAPTER: the play! Ahhhh, Yamabuki gets to sing a song. And, for this one time, I'm assigning you homework for reading this ficcy! You must read Alice in Wonderland, or else you'll not get anything at all :'( well, see you in chapter 13! Which is, I may remind you, an unlucky number. Unlucky for Nagi the bunny, that is... *evil smile*.


	13. His Bunny Suit of Awesomeness

Tuesday

There was, once again, plenty of time before school started. So I went to our table to see if anyone was there. And everyone was.

Am I writing retarded?

Anyway, everyone was there except Amu, who showed up right behind me.

"What happened?" I asked her.

"N-nothing," she said, going bright red.

"Really?" said Nagihiko idly. "does 'nothing' start with an 'I'?"

"Now whose bad at spelling?" I said, giving him a look.

"Ehheh," said Amu, staring off into space, still bright red.

"I know why you're late," I said flatly. "you had to take the long way to school to lose Ikuto. Right?"

"THAT WASN'T THE REASON AT ALL!" she shrieked, but the colour of her cheeks was an equivalent to a flashing neon sign reading, "Hi! A cat-eared pervert just tried to stalk me for fun!'.

Tadase purposely was staring at the wall of the school.

"Hey, Nagihiko," I said, interrupting Hontoo ni Tada-GAY's doom-and-gloom session. "did you do that essay for English?"

Amu choked on her drink, and Yaya gagged on her Pocky.

"Yeah," said Nagihiko, still reading one of Tadase's books (it was black and had a pair of hands holding an apple on it. It was really quite emo). "Why?"

"Can I copy it?"

"Neh."

"Meanie."

He grinned, and all the Nagihiko-fangirls hiding behind shrubbery shooting me daggers swooned.

Amu began, "what-" but Kukai kicked her under the table.

Why are they acting so funny? Oh, right. usually I want to kill Nagihiko.

Anyway, then the bell rang.

English

Hanasaki-sensei, our English teacher, was all, "We're going to start studying Shakespeare. Can anyone tell me what Shakespeare is?"

Nagihiko put up his hand.

"O-K, Nagi-chan!" giggled the teacher. Nagihiko is a TOTAL teacher's pet!

"William-Shakespeare-was-born-(a bunch of numbers I forgot) in Stratford-upon-Avon. He-was-married-to-Ann-Hathaway-in18(some number I forgot). He had three children; Susanna, Hamnet, and Judith. He-wrote-over-thirty-seven-plays. Most-famous-of-these-plays-is 'Romeo And Juliet, 'Hamlet', 'Macbeth', 'As You Like It', 'All's Well Ends Well', 'Julius Caesar', and 'Antony and Cleopatra'. Shall I continue?"

There was stunned silence for a minute, and then Hanasaki-sensei said in a dazed voice, "No. No, that's OK."

Lunch

Amu got rid of Kukai and Tadase by saying she had to go to the bathroom, and then she dragged me into a stall, locked the door, and hissed, "Tell me!"

"What?" I said.

"Nagihiko, you. Tell. Now."

"You sound jealous for some reason."

She rolled her eyes. "you're really, really bad at changing the subject. Please. Yesterday you were all like, 'blah, blah, blah, I hate Fujisaki.' And today you were all, 'Hi, Nagihiko! La, la, la!' So, tell me: are you going out?"

"No." I said in my passive voice.

She sighed.

"Why do you sound disappointed?"

"No reason."

"She's lying, Rima-chan," said a voice from the window. Yeah, there's only one person you know who's stalkerish enough and a good enough climber to get up to the girl's bathroom window. Yep! It was Ikuto. "she just likes playing matchmaker."

"THIS IS THE GIRLS BATHROOM, YOU PERVERT!" said Amu, flaring up.

I started laughing quietly behind my hand.

"So?"

"So, you cosplay freak, you could go to jail for sexual harassment!"

"What's wrong with jail?" said Ikuto, his face theatrically mournful. "it would be cool and badass."

No longer able to hide my laughing behind my hand, I starting laughing even louder.

"Rima-chan, shut up or the hall monitors are going to hunt us down," hissed Amu, and I sobered up.

"Oh, is that who those people are in the orange vests?" said Ikuto, mildly interested. "They _might_ be all locked in the janitor's closet."

"You locked up the hall monitors? Brilliant!" I said, laughing again.

"Well, they said I wasn't allowed to climb school buildings," said Ikuto, now inspecting his nails.

"So you locked them up?!" said Amu, her voice going all insane and high-pitched.

"You'd think he'd committed murder," I commented.

"We're going, Rima-chan," said Amu, giving Ikuto a copyrighted Death Glare.

Drama (ugh)

Naka-sensei has officially started Duchess training for Yamabuki Saaya!

"YAMABUKI!" she yelled. "COME HERE!"

Saaya flounced over.

Then she gave Saaya a sheet with a bunch of lyrics on it.

AND THEN SAAYA HAD TO SING IT. NOOOO!!!

And thus, she started in her whiny opera voice, "speak roughly to your little boy, and beat him when he sneezes, for he can thoroughly enjoy the pepper when he pleases!"

I think my ears are bleeding.

Later (still in drama)

Naka-sensei said, "oh, by the way, I got a few costumes. You know, for the main characters and such."

OK. MY COSTUME IS THIS BIG POOFY BLUE DRESS! IT'S DISGUSTING!

AND I HAD TO TRY IT ON.

AND THEN NAKA-SENSEI MADE ME COME _BACK _OUT INTO THE DRAMA ROOM SO EVERYONE COULD SEE!!!

There was silence for a minute, and then Yaya, Amu, and Nagihiko all glomped me going, "YOU LOOK FRIGGING KAWAII, RIMA-TAN!!!"

"What are you talking about?" I said. "I look like those freaky china dolls."

"That's a good thing!" said Naka-sensei maniacally, butting in. "Oh, yeah, and I got yours too, Fujisaki."

AND SHE HELD UP A BUNNY SUIT!

And then I started laughing crazily. After about five minutes, KusuKusu got slightly heavier and character changed, making me go "bala-balance!" and keep laughing like a homicidal maniac.

Nagihiko said kind of weakly, "Do I have to?"

"YES!!" said Naka-sensei, who looked like she was having the time of her life. And then she made Nagihiko do a two-foot hop in the bunny suit saying 'Pyon! Pyon!'.

And that, ladies and gentleman, is your laugh of the week.

Science

Meh.

Mizumori-sensei, my demon science teacher, said he needed to talk to me.

Actually, I call him a demon because I have this theory that he has a nine-tailed fox inside him, like in _Naruto_, because he has these random spazzes when our class when we, let's just say, gets a C average on a test.

Anyway, he was all like, "Mashiro-san, do you know what mark you're getting in science?"

"No."

"Would you like to know?"

"No."

But he showed me anyway. I knew he would. "do you know what letter grade forty-five percent is, Mashiro-san?"

"No." well, I actually did, but I wanted to see the nine-tailed kitsune inside him spaz out again. That would be fun.

But he told me anyway. Sigh.

"It's a D."

"Huh."

"Is that all you have to say?" he said, breathing really fast. _Oh, good, _I thought, _here it comes. He'll spaz out and his eyes will go all orange and maybe the room will explode-_

"Mizumori-san? What do you do when you're done the worksheet?" Nagihiko said, interrupting the Mizumori crazy moment. "oh, sorry, you're talking to Rima-chan."

"No, no, that's quite OK, Fujisaki-kun," said Mizumori-sensei, burying the nine-tailed kitsune and going all smiley. Teacher's pet alert. "I was just going to call you over, actually."

Nagihiko gave me a trademark evil grin, and then said, "oh, really?"

"Yes. You see, Mashiro-san is getting a D in science." He showed me the marking sheet... again. "do you know what letter grade ninety-eight percent is, Mashiro-san?"

"No."

"That's because you're getting a D in math, too," said Nagihiko under his breath.

"It's an A, Mashiro-san," said Mizumori, still with the silly grin on his face.

"Huh."

"And that's why Fujisaki-kun is going to tutor you in science."

"WHAAATT?!"

They were both giving me evil grins. "don't worry, Rima-chan," said Nagihiko, holding back laughter. "it'll be fun."

Fun, my ass.

After school

OH MY GOD.

OH MY GOD.

I SWEAR TO GOD, I AM NEVER TRUSTING FUJISAKI NAGIHIKO EVER AGAIN. EVER. EVER. EVER AGAIN.

I was just walking behind the school through the student parking lot. Everyone had gone home, but I had to stay and do some annoying ex-guardian paperwork, and I was so upset over my stupid parents arguing over who's going to pick me up I decided to walk home.

And then, guess who I saw? Yep. Nagihiko. But

Dammit, I'm still so freaked out I can really write it properly.

He was looking at his egg. Well, I know it's his egg NOW, but I didn't know then. It was TEMARI.

I stood there dumbfounded for a minute, and then he saw me. And he (predictably) panicked, and threw it back into his bag.

_Why would he have his sister's egg?_ I thought. _Weird. You shouldn't steal someone's would-be self. But,_ I continued to think, _Nagihiko wouldn't steal. No matter how evil he is to me, and no matter what a kindly airhead his sister is, he wouldn't steal. Now that I think about it, they are way too similar to be twins, though. They both like cooking, and sewing, and both have the same hairstyle. Why the hell would Nagihiko keep his hair long unless..._

And then it hit me.

And then I felt really, really sick.

"You..." I began, but didn't finish. Actually, I _couldn't _finish because I started hyperventilating quietly because

I had met both of them. And now I find out they're the same person. WHY?

if Nadeshiko is Amu's best friend, and Nadeshiko _is_ Nagihiko, then that means Nagihiko is Amu's best friend. And he's so diabolically evil now I'M his friend but I'm also friends with Nadeshiko which makes me... what?

HE HASN'T TOLD THE REST OF THE GUARDIANS. Or maybe they actually _do_ all know but have been hiding it from me. Wait, that's really stupid.

screw not telling the guardians, he hasn't told AMU. HE'S BEEN BACK FOR FOUR YEARS AND HE HASN'T EVEN BOTHERED TO TELL HER!

It was only the last idea that I voiced.

"YOU HAVEN'T TOLD HER?!?!?!?!?!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "YOU IDIOT! YOU SICK, TWISTED IDIOT! AND-"

At that moment he put his hand over my mouth. And then he did something he definitely wouldn't to otherwise. He threatened me.

"Tell Amu, and I kill you."

I pried his hand off my mouth, and said (in a voice, now that I think about it, was kind of high and shrieky) "tell Amu? Hell no! I'm going to tell EVERYONE! Four stupid years and you're too much of a coward to tell?! Urgh! You make me sick!"

"Stop it," he said in a low voice.

"Stop _what?_ Me, stop? What about _you? _Lying to everyone!"

"Stop telling me this crap. You think I haven't told this to myself already? Oh, and that having to be a girl since I was five was my choice?!" he laughed rather humorlessly. "I think you're smarter than that."

I was silent for a minute, and then said, "Maybe I won't tell Amu _now_. But you have three days, and if you haven't done it by then I'll tell her myself. And probably more brutally than if you had done it."

"Three days?" he looked shocked.

"I think she'll be more happy to see her best friend back rather than pissed because you didn't tell her," I said grimly, sitting down on the fence. I think he probably heard the jealousy back in my voice, because he plunked down on the fence beside me in a misguided attempt to cheer me up.

Then something else hit me, and I scooted farther down the fence.

"What is it?" he asked.

I said in a voice seething with doom and disgust, "you've worn a skirt."

He purposely stared in the opposite direction.

"I'll take that as a yes. Ugh. Sucks to be you."

He smiled a bit. "Yeah, I think I prefer pants."

"At least you don't have to wear those nerdy shorts guys had to wear in elementary school."

"Those skirts weren't much better."

"Nuh-uh!"

We argued all the way down the block.

* * *

Long Chapter! wooah!! Well, this chapter has got the clock ticking until the end of the story :'(. How many more chapters should there be? I don't know. I can guarantee three more, but I'll stretch it out longer if you _reeeaally _want to torture me, jkjk.

NEXT CHAPTER: we get to see all the fun science tutoring poor Rima has to endure, and "Alice in Wonderland" gets warped to the extremes --- with a bored-teenager Alice, a White Rabbit with long hair that is forced to play a tape recording saying 'pyon!', and a King of Hearts that keeps smiling like a senile old geezer. READ IT!

OH, AND ALSO LOOK OUT FOR: a Vampire Knight crossover. The ending of Guilty sucked, didn't it? Anyway, if you think of a fun anime crossover tell me, because everyone seemed to like the Twilight one and I had a lot of fun writing them :) I'll still have to keep writing the plot, meanwhile...


	14. Bonus Story: Vampire Chara!

**AN: oh, and if you don't know who Tsukasa is by now, he's the Founding/First King that haunts that creepy planetarium where all the characters go to get a "moral of the story" learned. Oh, also bear in mind he's also the only other person besides Tadase, Kukai, the Fujisaki family (and now Rima) that knows Nagi's secret~**

As soon as Tsukasa reached the conclusion of _Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, Breaking Dawn,_ and _Midnight Sun_, he started walking at an alarming pace to the public library. He went up to the girl at the desk.

"Hullo," the girl said in a bored voice.

"hello, do you have the sixth installment of the Twilight series?"

She sighed loudly, as if he was greatly inconveniencing her. "what's the name?"

"I don't know." He was really getting kind of pissed off at the library helper.

"hang on --- Twilight? The emo books? There's only four of those. Bye," she said pointedly.

Tsukasa left, a look on his face that spelled the end of the world.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He doomed and emoed about the house for all of spring break, obsessively on the twilight forums, crying with all the other creepy fans like him that there was no sixth installment and how mean it was of Stephanie Meyer not to get off her lazy ass and finish Midnight Sun. Finally, on the Monday it was time to start class again, he galumphed to work, revitalized with the false assurances of online predators that Meyer _might_ make a new book, you never know.

That morning, he ran to the Seiyo High School library, which was bigger than the elementary school one, and looked high and low for twilight (incidentally, he didn't find any of the books – all the high school girls had taken them out). No Twilight. He asked the librarian for the sixth book. Predictably, there was nothing.

The librarian, lucky for Tsukasa, was a much better helper than the Goth girl at the public library. "_Breaking Dawn _is the last in the series," she said kindly, "but if you like, I can find you a similar series. Shall I do that?"

"O-ok," said Tsukasa, who was rocking back and forth in his chair, seeping with doom.

Fortunately, the librarian got many crazed Twilight fans asking for similar book series in the library. She looked for all the usual ones, but (yet again) crazed twilight fans had gotten their "I heart Edward" adorned hands on any book that mentioned the word 'vampire'. Sighing in frustration, she headed towards the back. On the way, she passed the manga section. Out the corner of her eye, she caught the words "Vampire" written on a manga by someone called Matsuri Hino.

_I'm hallucinating,_ she told herself. _There's actually a series similar to Twilight still remaining!_

As she thought these words, a girl with dyed-brown hair, brown contact lenses, and a "Team Edward" T-shirt suddenly ran for the manga like a zombie. Sadly, the Rabid Twilight fan was wearing stilettos, and she tripped and broke a heel. As the librarian reached for volume one, she smiled sweetly at the Bella-wannabe and said, "sorry, this book is on hold."

The cover said, "Vampire Knight," and had a picture of a cute brown-haired girl in between a close-up of two guys. _Love triangle? _Thought the librarian. _Oh yeah. The Fanpires totally fall for that. _

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Tsukasa read the first page in the library.

"_...it's so cold..."_

"_pure-white... snow..."_

"_why is it so white? What is this snow?"_

"_it's... not supposed to be red."_

"_so where is all the red coming... from...?"_

And thus, poor Tsukasa was hooked and finished the first volume. And so he than proceeded to take out the other eight.

As he was walking back through the school to get home, he saw four heads in the drama room. One was his colleague, Kanaka Naka-sensei. The other ones were Hinamori Amu, Mashiro Rima, and Hontoo ni Tada-GAY (yes, even he calls Tadase that). Rima was... no. it couldn't be! Yep. Her thick blond hair was in two pigtails and she was holding a parasol. "I feel stupid," she said in a soft monotone. And... YES! His eyes really must be playing tricks on him if Amu was carrying a thin iron pole (the pole was actually a curtain rod that would hold up the curtains in the auditorium on opening night for the play) and Tadase.. was carrying... a GUN?

"I don't think the King of Hearts was a yanki," he was explaining to Naka-sensei.

"NONSENSE!" she yelled.

That night, he thought to himself, _Phew! Maybe this manga won't give me creepy crossover dreams like last time._ But, as all you people know, Tsukasa is an idiot that needs his sleep. And so as soon as he finished volume five, he fell asleep... again.

Ikuto. _What's Ikuto doing in my dreams?_ Tsukasa thought. _And, what's more, why is he wearing a white school-uniform type thing that actually makes him look like a self-respecting citizen?_

"dorm inspection," he said quietly, staring blankly off into space. And a bunch of people lined up. _No way! _Thought Tsukasa. It was almost all people from Seiyo. To be exact, it was, in order: Kukai, Kairi, Utau, Rima, Nagihiko, and Lulu De Morcef, that creepy girl who wanted the embryo for her mum. Nagihiko was falling asleep on Rima's shoulder.

"Wake _up_," she said, whacking him with her parasol.

"Five more minutes," Nagihiko mumbled.

"Dorm inspection. Don't make me zap you." she threateningly held up a hand, which was indeed crackling with electricity.

"Akatsuki!" said Ikuto. "turn out your pockets!"

Kairi-Akatsuki turned out one pocket.

"_both_ pockets," Ikuto sighed, burying his face in his hands.

"Right ya are, Kaname-sama," said Kairi-Akatsuki, and turned out both.

"_and _the front pocket."

"what? Why the front? Ehheh, I don't need to turn out that one, right?" Kairi-Akatsuki's eyes were darting crazily.

"TURN THE FRONT POCKET OUT, DAMMIT."

He turned the pocket out, and steroids fell out.

"Tsk, tsk." His face suddenly lit up in happiness. "What a shame. I'll have to tell Yuuki to search the Sun Dormitory for this drug-dealer..." he kind of stared off into space with the same enlightened look on his face while Kukai exchanged a significant look with Utau, who looked so jealous she might explode.

"Shiki!" he suddenly said sharply. "pockets!"

Nagihiko-Shiki turned out his pockets, and a box of Pocky fell from each one.

"no food in the Moon Dormitory. I'm going to have to confiscate that."

"Nooooo! Not the Pocky!"

"Not the Pocky!" Rima echoed. Both of them looked like the world was coming to an end.

Kaname-Ikuto started eating the Pocky half-thoughtfully. "oh, and Aidou? Get the girls' makeup out of your pocket, or people will think the Night Class is gay."

Then the scene whizzed to the inner wall of the school. A blurred figure suddenly dropped what seemed about thirty feet from the top and landed on her feet. _It's Amu!_ thought Tsukasa excitedly. She was wearing what seemed the negatives of the other uniform --- black with white stripes.

"Zero!" Amu said in an accusatory tone. "skipping class and now trying to skip patrol?! I've had to do it all my myself and incur the wrath of evil vampire fangirls!" *cough cough rabid twilight fans cough cough*

Tsukasa almost choked as he saw Tadase.... in a cool uniform... looking bored. _Squee! _Thought Tsukasa excitedly. _Hotori is actually cool! _

"I was busy," said Tadase, still looking bored. In a flash, he pulled out the gun and pointed it to someone behind Tsukasa. As he turned around, he saw Kaname-Ikuto.

"what do you want, Kuran?" he said roughly, looking totally badass. Tsukasa had to bite on his tongue to keep from squealing like a demented fangirl.

"I wanted to talk to Yuuki-chan. Go away, Kiryu," said Kaname-Ikuto all sleekly.

"when hell freezes over," he snarled, and Tsukasa really did actually squeal loudly this time. Lucky for him, it seemed he wasn't part of the scene going on and thus could make all the noise he wanted.

It seemed that time sped up, and he saw orange light to the east. "oh, that's the end of patrol," said Amu-Yuuki, looking all cutesy. "G-gomen, Kaname-senpai."

"goodbye, Yuuki-chan," said Kaname and *boosh* he disappeared, prolly by using his killer vamp powers. Then the scene whizzed to a really plain and gothic-creepy dormitory.

"Morning, Yori-chan" said Amu cheerfully (considering she hadn't gotten any sleep) to Yaya, who was packing her books.

"Ehheh! Ohayo, Yuuki-chan. Wonder how much your grades are going to drop since you're sleep deprived?"

As Amu-Yuuki *URKed*, the scene whizzed to somewhere different... again. _I guess this is how manga crossovers are different from book ones, _thought Tsukasa. _They keep changing scenes so fast I can't keep tra-_

"sit down, class!" said the teacher, and Tsukasa, Amu-Yuuki, and Yaya-Yori all found themselves in a classroom. Amu-Yuuki looked up to the row above her, and Yaya-Yori said quietly, "looks like Kiryu's skipping class again."

AND THEN THE SCENE CHANGED AGAIN! _This is getting ridiculous,_ thought Tsukasa. _I wanted to see what they actually teach you at Cross Academy, besides 'eat blood tablets and your life will be happy.' _

Time sped up, and it was patrol... again. This time, Amu-Yuuki actually marched down to the guy's dorm to get Tadase-Zero off his lazy badass and get him so shoot a couple vamps.

"Zero!" she yelled, pointing a finger at him (lines coming out from the finger appeared briefly) "You're patrolling today!"

"whatever," he said, and Tsukasa almost expected him to say "gimme a light" and start smoking.

The scene changed again, to the dead of the night, and it was here Utau suddenly cornered Yuuki. "Ruka?" Amu-Yuuki said, sweatdropping. "nani?"

"I will not lose!" Ruka-Utau said, twitching maniacally.

"uh... what?" Amu-Yuuki said, looking way too confused to be convincing.

But Utau didn't say anything.

"Ruka, let's get back to class," said Kairi-Akatsuki, who appeared out of nowhere using his killer vamp powers, and Kukai-Aidou, who was inspecting his reflection in a gay pink compact.

Ruka-Utau gave Amu-Yuuki one more withering look and walked away. The scene then whizzed to Nagihiko-Shiki battling Rima-Rima, who was swinging her now-open parasol around like a mad Mary Poppins in battle. One of Nagihiko-Shiki's eyes had turned crimson. _So cool! _Thought Tsukasa. _A possessed-yet-badass Nagihiko!_

"YOU IDIOT!" screamed Rima-Rima, dodging another blood-whip-lash from Nagihiko-Shiki. "LETTING YOURSELF BE POSSESSED LIKE THIS!"

_Beep beep beep._

Tsukasa punched the SNOOZE button, but the dream was already over.

"_Yume ga Sametara,_" Tsukasa said to himself, and grimaced at the awful pun.

* * *

Whoever gets Tsukasa's awful pun gets an imaginary muffin! ~pyon.

I had fun writing this at first, but after awhile I was just like, *eh*. So sorry for the abrupt ending!

Oh, and also~ thank you to

TwilightSkyBlue

Smallvillegirl2

Suzuka Harukaze

Amuto-fan-neko-san

Ale-chanLikeyCookies

For reviewing more than twice, usually for every chapter! TwilightSkyBlue usually reviews within minutes of me uploading a new chapter..... ~* BE LIKE TWILIGHT-CHAN, PEOPLE! *brainwashes* review~!


	15. His Horrible Teaching Methods

Thursday

This morning I walked in, and saw Nagihiko and Amu and everyone else sitting there, but all I could think of was: NAGIHIKO'S WORN A SKIRT. NAGIHIKO'S WORN A SKIRT. NAGIHIKO'S WORN A SKIRT.

"are you ok, Rima?" asked Amu, looking at me. Focusing on a point above her shoulder, I said flatly, "fine."

Nagihiko kind of sat there uncomfortably, as if he could read exactly what I was thinking.

NAGIHIKO'S WORN A SKIRT. HE'S ACTED LIKE A GIRL FOR YEARS ON END. HE'S WORN KIMONOS AND DANCED ABOUT ALL GIRLISHLY.

"actually, no," I said, still looking at the space above Amu's shoulder. "I feel kind of sick. Nagihiko, you better go with me because you have to talk to the nurse. Right?"

"I-" he began, but I repeated, "RIGHT?"

"right," he said meekly, and followed me.

"you haven't told her yet?!" I hissed.

"I couldn't get it into the conversation!"

"two more days," I told him.

"I know," he said, and started looking all *sage*

Whoopee. Drama... again....

But first is break. And TUTORING. BY THE EVILMADGENIUS! AHHHHH!!!

I stomped into study hall.

"having a good day, Rima-chan?" said Nagihiko sarcastically.

"yep."

Science tutoring

"So, Rima, you realize I am evil, right?" said Nagihiko, filing his nails after a particularly grueling session of periodic-table-memorizing.

"No! really?" I said sarcastically. "duh."

"well, because I'm just sick and twisted that way, I brought in a torture device that might help you memorize the periodic table."

"I don't like where this is going."

But EVILMADGENIUS, smiling like the evil demon he is, brought out a tape player and put in a tape labeled "WARNING: HIGHLY PAINFUL"

Suddenly banjo music came on, and an old guy's voice reverberated out of the speakers: "OHHHHH, THE FIRST ELEMENT ON TEH LIST IS HY-DRO-GEEEENNN!!!" and the kid's chorus sang, "(IT'S IN WATER!)" the old guy went on, with the kids chorus, something like:

OHHH, THEN IT'S HE-LI-UM!

(you find it in balloons!)

OHHHH, THEN IT'S LI-THI-UM!

(you find it in batteries!)

OHHH, THEN IT'S BER-YL-LI-UM!

(you find it in gemstones!)

OHHHH, THEN IT'S BOR-ON! (when the old guy said the word, 'boron', his voice dropped an octave).

And so on. FOREVER.

Nagihiko started laughing like a maniac. "you're so cute when you're pissed off. And do you know what the best thing is? You don't get to stop listening to Chemistry Carl until you get an A in science!"

"you suck."

"yep."

Drama

It seems to be Hilarious Tape Recording Day and no one told me about it (maybe because I don't have Facebook) because in drama Naka-sensei showed us how she'd sewed a tape recorder with a tape in it into the lining of Nagihiko's bunny suit. When she pressed the button, a high squeaky voice said, "Pyon! Pyon!"

Everyone thought it was funny except Nagihiko.

Billy Shakespeare Hell, aka English

Why the hell are we studying Romeo and Juliet? What is with all the stupid love stories hanging around? It's all love, love, love, blah, blah, blah, 24/7.

This is what I told the teacher, and Nagihiko looked kind of upset. Oh, that's so typical. I have to make a deadly friend contract with Shakespeare's lover.

And his assistant, Hanasaki-sensei. Who, in answer to my question, went on this big thing about touching moments and love withstanding the test of time and rhyming couplets and all this crap that didn't sink into my brain at all.

Sigh.

And now I have to write an in-depth report about Juliet, due at the end of term. NOOOOO!!! All the guys have to do it about Romeo. I want to do it about Romeo, too! At least Romeo gets into swordfights and crap but all Juliet does is hang off the balcony (which is, for the record, very dangerous) and ask where Romeo is. Oh Horrors!

Nagihiko asked me, "can't you relate to Juliet at all? That might make it easier."

"are you kidding?!" I said, rocking back and forth in my desk madly. "Juliet is my polar opposite! And she's ridiculously dependent on men. Men are useless creatures!"

"this useless creature is somewhat offended."

"I'm not talking about you in particular, you're too..." but at that point I trailed off and looked purposely in the other direction. Maybe he didn't notice. HA HA, GOOD JOKE!

"too what?"

"oh, forget it," I snapped.

"no, now I want to know! What am I? huh?"

"too stupid."

I know he didn't believe me, but oh well.

Lunch

Oh Yay, new fanboy. But this one is even worse. He's STALKING me. The other ones are okay, just calling me "Lady Rima" and crap but this one is a PAIN IN THE ASS. He keeps hiding, but he really sucks because I can clearly see him. And he's a grade above me, too. OH HORRORS!

Oh damn, here he comes again.

Later

I really want to kill Stalker Boy, because he's making KusuKusu lighter and lighter. I was ready to cry again, and not even care if Evil Nagihiko sees me, but Stalker Boy is coming again. Damn!

I'm sure every single girl has gotten this childish way of running away out of there system, but it provided an easy escape. Yep. The girl's bathroom.

Except it's really cold in here.

5 minutes later

I yelled, "IKUTO, GET YOUR PERVERTED HEAD OUT OF THE WINDOW BECAUSE AMU ISN'T HERE!"

"boo. I thought she was always with you."

"not today. actually, I think she's with Tadase."

"bastard kid," he muttered.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?" this guy was originally so cool, but it was fun to watch Amu making him fall apart at the seams.

"I said... er... I'm part squid. Well, bye, Rima-chan."

"run fast before the alarm goes off."

Then I stuck my head out the washroom door, and STALKER BOY WAS THERE! AAH!!

Damn, they really need better heaters in the girls bathroom. It's FREEZING!!!

Fifty more minutes left of lunch.

I wonder how long it takes for someone to get hypothermia?

* * *

OK, now we have a villain(ish) person. A stalker! Yay! Sorry but I find stalkers hilarious so I thought I might include a creeper in the story...

It took me so long to update because I was in Toronto. It was pretty fun, I went to the art gallery of Ontario. But in case anyone's heading to downtown Toronto: it's FREEZING. God, I think I got frostbite on my fingers!

And Romeo and Juliet is included because 1) it's a love story, and love story = more Rimahiko. Or so the thinking goes. And 2) my English class is studying it, and I think it's the most useless crap, kind of like Rima. I wanted to do Midsummer Night's Dream, not some Shakespearean tragedy about hormonal teenagers. D:

Final word: I had a great idea about chapter numbers. I did 12 chapters in my fruits basket fanfiction because there are 12 zodiac animals. So why not do 52 chapters in this one, because the theme of Shugo Chara! is cards? Er... maybe not. But if I actually get a good plotline moving, hey! You never know how far my fighting spirit will drive me -_-

But YAY YAY YAY let's get those chapters updating again!


	16. His Scary Character Change

Friday

At least I'm safe in my classes from Stalker Boy. Sigh.

And safe from him in science tutoring, but...

"where can you find helium?"

"balloons."

"where can you find lithium?"

"gemstones?"

"WRONG! Ha, ha, ha," laughed Nagihiko, and he turned on the doomed torture device.

Lunch

Nagihiko almost told Amu... I give him that.

She was just like, "ne, Nagi, have you talked to Nadeshiko lately?"

He was silent for a minute.

"uh.." I started, and he said, "actually, there's something I need to –"

And then the bell rang and Amu went, "gomen, Rima and Nagi-kun! I gotta get to comp civ now!" and ran off.

"you're going to have to do better than that," I said.

He sighed. "she's going to kill me."

"my ass."

He gave me an evil twisted look. "what about it?"

"pervert." I made tears well up. "so mean."

"I know those are fake tears... you tried the first day I transferred, remember?"

"good times. You weren't as mean."

"no, I was just a shy wimp like Tadase."

I accidentally laughed without realizing it, and then said, "you're trying to play matchmaker for him and Amu, aren't you?"

The stood still for a minute, and then, as if deciding to be honest, he said, "yes."

"what?!" I could feel the happy mood shrinking as it dawned on me. "No. not Tada-gay. Are you kidding me?"

"he wants what's best for Amu-chan, doesn't he?"

"I guess, but I dunno! There's something seriously weird under his pure motives!" I had actually never talked this way about anyone _to _anyone, but maybe Nagihiko just pisses me off that way. "am I the only one who thinks it's stupid that he's sixteen and wants world domination?!"

"that's not who he is. That's just his character." His face was starting to look rather dangerous, and even though I was in the middle of a growth spurt he was still about three inches taller than me.

"that's his would-be self! So he's a little wimp in real life and he has the possibility of being a crazy tyrant!"

"so, who would you rather she end up with?" he snapped. I felt kind of hurt by his tone from the guy who had always talked to me nicely but I tried to keep my face from revealing any emotion.

In truth, he totally knew who I wanted Amu to end up with.

"are you sure that's only because you've always been friendlier with _him_? you're not taking into account that he's still tied to Easter and, in my opinion, is still being controlled by that stupid violin!" Nagihiko continued, his (admittedly usually pretty) eyes filled with contempt.

"Fine!" I yelled at him. "try and play matchmaker and get them together! But I think any admiration Amu had for that stupid baka is fading."

And then he walked away, making me feel like flipping the bird at him.

Later

Amu wonders what's going on, because we're both not talking to each other, her, or Tadase. Little does she know our entire fight was about her and her social life... now that I think about it, that's pretty damn stupid. But no way in hell am I telling anyone that (except KusuKusu, who already knows).

Break

Here comes stalker boy... again. I just sat there and pretended to read _Romeo and Juliet_ and so for the whole 20 minutes of break he sat there watching me. Creepy! He also kept looking at the spot where I had set KusuKusu down. But he can't see Shugo Charas because he doesn't have one himself. Right?

Just in case, I whispered, "KusuKusu. That guy can't see you, right?"

"I-I don't know," she said feebly. "I can't sense a Chara but it might just be away somewhere."

"what do you want?" I asked his hiding place, getting kind of pissed off, and he didn't reply.

"I can see you! I swear to god, I'll hit you if you don't answer me! _What do you want?_"

He straightened up. "Nothing."

"who are you, anyway?"

"Shizunabe Yuto."

"why the hell are you stalking me?"

"I'm not."

"yeah, right!" I said, still seriously pissed from my row with Nagihiko. "it's getting really annoying, so can you stop?"

"no."

"why not?"

But he just walked off. And then I did something that I probably shouldn't have done, but I skipped math class. Because now that Nagihiko hates me (I hope) he can't stop me.

After school

Well, now I know that this Shizunabe guy is actually dangerous.

He works for Easter.

Hnggh;sd, let me write it down.

So I was walking home, because I had finally convinced my stupid parents that I wouldn't get kidnapped _once. _And, because KusuKusu was feeling a bit heavier again, I was complaining to her about how stupid and overprotective my parents are while she tried to cheer me up by making stupid faces and I pretty much was being an angsty teenager.

And then he suddenly appeared on the sidewalk, which was totally empty.

And he had a Shugo Chara in his hand.

It was the stalker guy! Shizunabe Yuto. And so, without even thinking about it, I said, "KusuKusu, Chara ni!" and for the first time in awhile I transformed into my (highly embarrassing) giant bow and ruffly dress. Oh Horrors! In fact, it was even worse than I remembered, even though Amu says it's, "cute".

Anyway, Shizunabe did the same. He can character transform too, so there goes my great awesome heart-unlocking skills. Sigh. I was able to get a look at his Chara, though. He said, "Haka!" which leads me to believe that's what the Chara's name is. Haka had on this big gray cloak, like those Demented things from Harry Potter. And so when Yuto transformed, he also had on this gray robe like the Dementors form Harry Potter/ the Volturi from Twilight and he pretty much looked like death.

Oh god, I just realized something. That must be what his would-be self is, which is really disgusting. He wants to _kill _people. Which makes him even worse.

And he had what I call a Deathsicle, but was this giant scythe. And sadly, Juggling Party isn't very effective against a Deathsicle. (well, nothings actually very effective against a bunch of bowling pins. I've seen a _rodent _in my basement shred Juggling Party to bits).

This is really turning into a thrilling tale, isn't it? so then he swung the Deathsicle and almost decapitated me.

"_why the hell are you trying to kill me_?!" I screamed at him.

He wasn't freaking out at all as he continued to wave the demented Deathsicle around like a windmill. "to get you out of the way of Hinamori Amu."

"_WHYY?!_" I really was freaking out. But you would too if you were having a fight to the death.

"Hinamori Amu is an obstacle in the way of controlling Tsukiyomi Ikuto. Why else do you think Easter hired me? I'm to kill all the ex-guardians of Seiyo High School, starting with you."

"who are you killing next?" I said, lowering my voice and still fighting crazily with the bowling pins. But I already knew the answer before he told me.

"Fujisaki Nagihiko."

All of a sudden I felt KusuKusu practically double in weight. At the same time, Yuto broke through Juggling party (it being a miracle the bowling pins survived at all), and I said desperately, "KusuKusu, don't you have any weapons besides bowling pins?"

"I'll see what I can do," said KusuKusu, ridiculously cheerful considering the situation. "I feel way more full of energy, so..." and then quite timely I got a new magical object, kind of like what happened with Amu and Miki and them upgrading to the treble clef wand. Anyway, I yelled, "comedic daggers!" and yay! I got a new object-thing. It was a pair of knives, one for each hand! They would have been pretty cool and badass if they weren't green and orange and had bells on them that jingled. But oh well. And I could see Shizunabe was pretty surprised too. But that might have just been because a grade-schooler had just appeared with sharp objects in her hand.

Then KusuKusu warned me again; "Rima-tan, watch out! New objects can be very unstable!" but it was a little too late because Yuto already slashed through them and they disappeared.

And then a blurred figure suddenly knocked the Deathsicle out of his hand with a long pointed object. _I wonder if all the guardians will get actual damaging sharp weapons now?_ I remember thinking. And it took a couple minutes to realize it was Nagihiko who was character changed and holding a... naginata? The samurai weapon?

The samurai weapon that's mostly used by girls. So it was Temari he was character changed with. But...

I winced as he yelled in a scary voice, "HA HA HA! YOU'RE SO WEAK!" and he kind of had this crazy chibi fire in his eyes.

I felt myself change back as Yuto muttered, "damn!" and disappeared.

"Rima?" said Nagihiko, whirling around.

"are you still character changed?" I said in a tiny voice.

"no," he said, and kind of blushed. "Sorry. That's Temari's character change."

"she hatched?"

"for about a minute. It looks like she's gone back." Sure enough, the pink egg was whole once more.

I kind of felt tears well up in my eyes again, and to my horror he picked me up just like last time. "I hate it when cute girls cry, so suck it up," he told me. "we'll have to tell Amu and the others that there's a new boy working for Easter tomorrow... and that he'll stop at nothing to kill us."

On that happy note, he carried me the entire way home, because my legs were so shaky I couldn't stand up.

At home

Oh, no.

I had to sit through a big talk by my mother, about how it's okay to like someone and hormonal changes and nothing to be embarrassed about and blah, blah, blah.

I think I'll go to sleep now.

* * *

OMG, I used to love Nadeshiko's character change with Temari. I used to laugh like crazy whenever she turned all insane and manly with the samurai weapons awesomeness. So I had to include her in this chapter and Rima's reaction. As for Shizunabe Yuto, he's an OC. He also turned out way darker than I imagined. But, I'm surprised that eggs being born from the want to kill doesn't happen more often (well, besides from the fact that Doki! is a kids' anime...). and also, why Easter doesn't just try and kill Amu because she's the only one who's keeping Ikuto sane and not comepletely controlled by the violin (in my opinion, anyway)!

Did anyone watch episode 75 of Doki? I'm so glad in the next episode their finally going to get some good fight scenes in the show and not just Lulu and her damn "?" eggs. And, best of all, WE GET TO SEE IKUTO IN HIS DEATH REBEL CHARACTER CHANGE! WHOO!!! *insane Amuto mode*.

Anyway, the plot's picking up now, so maybe I will actually do 52 chapters. If I do, though... whoa, it's going to take maybe another year. I'll just do what my fingers tell me to and see where things go. Well, see you next chapter!


	17. His NearDeath Experience

Saturday

It was the first hot sunny day Japan had seen in weeks, but it's so typical of my parents to ruin it by fighting. And why is it always about me?

And because they're fighting in the kitchen/washer-dryer area, I don't have any clean clothes AND I can't get breakfast. In fact, the only clean thing I have that isn't my jacket is this freaky white sundress and "cute" little shoes my mom bought me at some scary store. actually, Ms. Hinamori and my mom really did hit it off awhile ago because they're both find of dressing up their daughters like Barbie. Sigh. So I had to put that on.

"Rima-tan, I'm hungry," groaned KusuKusu.

"Charas don't get hungry," I pointed out, silently adding that I was just as hungry as she was.

"yeah, but we like good food. Ne ne, Rima-tan, you have five dollars right? Let's go to Tim Horton's and get breakfast!"

"we can't go out the front door."

"we can use sheets like last time! I'll sneak some from the linen closet!"

So here goes the Great Escape To Get Breakfast.

Later

Mr. Next-door-neighbor, who was mowing the lawn in his animal-print shorts, gaped at me as I was Escaping down the window. I guess a grade-schooler in a sundress sliding down from her second-floor window on sheets does make a pretty weird sight.

Anyway, I went and bought donuts at Tim Horton's and I sat on the wall in my horrible sundress and shoes eating them. And that's when it was just my luck that Tada-gay and Nagihiko were walking by and they saw me sitting on the stone wall eating donuts.

"do I even want to know, Rima?" said Nagihiko.

"no," I retorted. Tadase was oddly silent. Just staring. Creepy.

"are you sure?"

I spoke directly to Tadase, since he's the only person who had any idea what goes on at my house. "I can't go down to the kitchen."

"so you escaped on sheets? Again, Mashiro-san?" he said, going all scary and emotional on me.

"yep."

"so Rima, you have to tell me," said Nagihiko, who suddenly seemed to be treating Tadase rather coldly. "what tornado was it that swept all your clothes away except the sundress?"

"all my other stuff hasn't been washed yet," I snapped. "I don't like it any more than you do."

"oh, but it is a nice dress, Mashiro-san," supplied Tadase. And then Nagihiko glared at him again.

"humph," I said, as Nagihiko helped himself to my donuts. "I was eating those."

"you're going to get fat. Remember what the PE teacher said to you on your last report card?"

"how do you know about that?" boys and girls are in separate PE classes, and I've never showed the Evil Mad Genius my report card. Actually, the only one who sees my report card is me, because my grades might as well be straight F's.

"Amu told me."

"but Amu hasn't seen mine either!"

He stifled his evil laughter. "yes, she went through your desk and found it."

"I'M GOING TO KILL HER!" I yelled, and then quickly looked in the other direction because the lady walking past muttered, "noise pollution" under her breath and glared at me.

"so what did the PE teacher say on Mashiro-san's report card?" asked Tadase, who seemed very determined to get to the end of the story (by this time, they both combined had finished my breakfast).

Through laughing, Nagihiko said, "she-said... she-said-she-had-low-fitness... low-fitness-level," and Tadase giggled gayly. I gave them both a Death Glare, and that's when Amu came along.

"Rima!" she gasped. "thank god! I just came over to your house and your parents called you and you're not there!"

Tadase and Nagihiko both looked panicked. "you better go back, Mashiro-san," said Tadase.

"what?" I snapped. "no way!" Nagihiko and Amu both looked very taken aback at my lack of enthusiasm in seeing my parents. This was quite obviously because they still don't know the crappy relationship my parents have.

"you don't have to go back right away," said Tadase, the only one who knew what was going on. I could see Nagihiko looking more and more pissed off as he saw that for some reason we both had an idea what was going on when he didn't. that's really weird, by the way. I thought Nagihiko was a fan of Tadase's?

Totally fed up, I stared at Nagihiko right in the eye. "my parents are in the middle of one of their fights, and no way in hell am I going back to that war zone. Got it?"

I heard Amu gasp. It's kind of melodramatic of her, but whatever. "Rima, your parents fight? I don't believe it," she said miserably.

I started walking, and they all fell into step beside me.

"can you believe it, Nagi?" continued Amu, being uncharacteristically annoying.

"yes," he said, picking every word carefully. "I've actually known for awhile."

"what?" I said, lifting myself out of my passive state. "since when?"

"grade seven. I had suspected before then."

I glared at him, and kept walking. "Ikuto, jump down from the tree and beat him up,"

"what? Ikuto?" said Amu, all of a sudden flustered, and I heard the satisfying thud of feet as he jumped down from the tree, where I knew he'd been stalking Amu.

"Tsukiyomi Ikuto!" accused Tadase.

"Hello, kiddy king," said Ikuto, and then asked me, "which one?"

"Nagihiko."

"he's not your servant!" snapped Amu, getting into oh-no-a-cat-eared-perv-is-stalking-me-mode.

"Amu-chan's just jealous," said Ikuto mildly.

"try and beat me up... I would totally own you," said Nagihiko, suddenly going a bit scary again.

"oh no," I said, the only one who knew what was coming. "Ikuto, don't-"

"good luck, Jack," said Ikuto, and I screamed "NO!"

"Rima," Amu began, "why-"

But it was too late, and out came the naginata and Nagihiko going, "BRING IT ON, YOU DAMN NEKO! HA! IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?!" and Ikuto shot up a tree.

"I'm sorry!" I shouted up into the branches. "give him five minutes!"

Tadase kind of looked miserable, and I realized he probably already knew. As the naginata dropped to the ground, Amu stood still for a minute, and then screamed maniacally, "NADESHIKOOO!!!!" and glomped him.

"actually, I think you know what my name is," said Nagihiko, sweatdropping.

I stood still for a minute, wallowing in my dislike for seeing Amu hug him. It had never occurred to me before, but does Amu like Nagihiko... in that way? I felt a flare of jealousy, probably because if she did it might mean I'd lose her. Or Nagihiko. Or both? It's kind of stupid I'd worry about losing Nagihiko though. I did note that Ikuto looked somewhat bad-tempered, but he quickly smoothed it over.

At this point, a little chibi person in a kimono poked her head out from behind Nagihiko. We all stared, and she said squeakily, "gomen, Nagi still doesn't believe in me enough, so... bai." And then she went back into her egg.

There was silence for a minute, and Amu still continued to cling to Nagihiko as if he saved us all from a burning building. Then everything happened at once; Shizunabe Yuto slunk out of the shadows with his Deathsicle in hand, KusuKusu and Kiseki both sensed it and Chara Nari'ed, and Ami came running going, "nee-chan!"

KusuKusu took control of fighting, instantly summoning the 'comedic daggers' (which is a pretty sad name), and I yelled over my shoulder, "Amu, run away with Ami!"

"what's going on, Rima-chan?!" said Ami and Amu at the same time, and while Tadase attempted to hold off the Deathsicle I shouted as fast as I could, "this guy wants to kill us because we're protecting you who in turn is keeping Ikuto from being controlled by that stupid violin!"

Ami came to life first, puling out Pitchi. Light began to shine out of the Humpty Lock as amu began to transform as well.

"NO!" I shouted at Ami. "you're Chara's just a newborn! Let Amu do it-" but the light suddenly hit her face and she cried, "watashi no kokoro!" and I knew it was too late.

I joined Tadase while Nagihiko just stood there, 'I am useless' etched quite plainly on his face. I ran back to him and took Temari from his hands.

"Temari-chan?" I said sweetly. "will you open up and character change for the nice little girl?"

"no," she said in a muffled voice.

"how about for the gay guy in the frilly suit?"

"maybe."

"you give me no choice then," I snapped. "I'm really, really sorry because KusuKusu always gets pissed when I do this but we need to kill this death guy!"

And I tickled the egg. As soon as I heard a tiny tinkling giggle I yanked the egg open and there was a faded Temari. She tried to float back into the egg.

But, as it happened, the other day I asked Nikaidou-sensei for some tape so I could fix my English project (a toothpick globe theater). He had gone, "oh, gomen, Mashiro-san! I only have the Shugo Chara tape that keeps eggs closed. Will that do?" and I still hadn't given it back. I took it out of my pocket now and crossed the two pieces of tape over the crack so it made an X, just like Nikaidou had done to Suu's egg a million years ago, when we were in grade school.

"now you can't get back in, you coward," I told Temari.

"ooh, you nasty Queen's chair! Shiko-chan did a way better job than you!"

"prove it," I taunted, and Nagihiko character changed again.

I smiled to myself as I heard the satisfying noise of a naginata-beating, and then I turned back to where the battle was going on in the alleyway behind Tim Horton's. Ami had character changed into a little sweet-Lolita dress with a giant music note on her side ponytail through the power of the humpty lock, and was throwing what looked like little yo-yos with blades at the unsuspecting Shizunabe.

Amu was attempting to decapitate Yuto with the heart rod, which was proving unsuccessful.

And Tadase was... hmm, what was Tadase doing? Oh, he was giving Yuto bruises by whacking him with his scepter.

Hee hee.

As soon as he saw me, he ran forward suddenly, and before I knew it I was pinned against the wall by the stupid Deathsicle. I kept giving him the Death Glare, but I don't think he noticed.

"surrender or the little girl dies," Yuto told everyone, and Amu immediately dropped the heart rod on the ground. Tadase just looked ready to kick some ass for a change.

"I'M NOT LITTLE! I'M SIXTEEN!" I yelled at him but he just gave me a withering look.

_Where the hell was Nagihiko?_ I kept thinking. I don't know why I needed Nagihiko but he was the only one besides me who had a damaging weapon... _but, hang on. There's somebody else in the guardians who has a samurai weapon. Why am I thinking that?_

At that very timely, dramatic, and highly cinematic-like moment, Kairi came running out and (sadly, almost) killed Shizunabe. At the same time, a blur went through the air and Nagihiko snatched me when stupid Shizunabe was preoccupied with the samurai holding the bridal veil (Kairi tells me it's part of his samurai costume, but I saw a price tag on it).

"about time," I gasped, inspecting the cut that had been made in my neck from the Deathsicle.

"oh, I'm sorry," he said sarcastically, and at that moment...

Later

He... died. Well, it looked like he died, and that's when I got the most bizarre feeling. And then me, the passive selfish girl, screamed. Loudly. And it went on for a long time. Amu kind of stood still, here eyes bugging out, but Yuto winced and disappeared. And then I started saying desperately, "Nagihiko! Wake up! You stupid, stupid idiot, you better get up or I will KILL you!" but he didn't move at all. And then, I just sat there on the ground and cried like a little kid who's lost a rain boot. And Amu started crying too. And KusuKusu disappeared back into her egg. Temari carefully peeled off the tape and went back inside hers, and then I saw his finger twitch.

"he's not dead," I said slowly.

Amu was trying to look sympathetic as she said, "no, Rima..."

"yes," I insisted. "you can feel his pulse if you don't believe me. And don't look at me like that, Tada-gay, I'm staying here until he wakes up. Or would you rather we go to the hospital and get awkward questions asked?" I rarely ever talked like this, in my normal voice. It was usually only screaming or little above a whisper. I propped Nagihiko up against the wall, curled up next to him, and glared at everybody. Amu quietly propped down on the other side. Then Tadase slowly sat down in front of him, and Amu ended up calling my home. I heard her talking quietly into her cell phone: "Mrs. Mashiro? Yes, it's Hinamori Amu. Rima-chan's at my house for a sleepover. Yes, our parents are home. Oh, you don't need to drop off her stuff. Ok? Yes, we will. Bai." Kairi looked awkward and he said, "sorry, I have to get back."

"that's okay," Amu smiled. "thanks for everything, Class Prez," but he had already disappeared around the corner.

10:30

We've been here all day. No new developments. When Amu wasn't looking, I carefully took his hand where she couldn't see it.

I still feel horrible. And I've told Amu everything about Yuto. Ikuto's disappeared, and I hope it's just because he has to go to class.

11:00

Maybe he is dead.

12:00

He can't be.

1:00

I'm going to be half-asleep tomorrow.

2:00

But I don't even care.

4:00

I fell asleep on Nagihiko's shoulder for about an hour, and when I woke up Amu smirked at me.

"what?" I asked quietly.

"nothing."

"yeah, right."

"ok, fine," she sighed. "I think he likes you."

"doubtful."

"see? I knew you wouldn't believe me."

I glowered, and that's when Ikuto jumped down from the tree. All he did was kind of stare blankly, but Amu got up and slowly walked over.

"amu-chan?" he said, cocking his head, and then she slapped him.

"YOU BASTARD!" she yelled, and a car honked indignantly on the road. "WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU GO, YOU STUPID COWARD?!"

"I don't know," said Ikuto, his face passive. Amu started screaming madly with laughter. "oh, you don't know? Don't know? What do you mean, you don't know, you stupid cat?"

"I mean there's a big blank space where the last twenty-two hours should be," he said carefully.

"that's just about the stupidest thing I've ever heard," said Amu, her eyes flashing madly. I got up and put a hand on her shoulder. "Amu, lay off."

"why do you always take his side?" she said, shrugging my hand off. "to think I actually thought you wanted to escape from Easter, blah, blah, blah."

"Amu," I said slowly. "he wasn't himself."

"what, does he have an identical twin?" her voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"no. he's being controlled by the stupid violin."

She glared at Ikuto. "then get rid of it, you dumbass!"

"I can't." he said, still quite flatly.

"what do you mean?" she snapped. "don't be stupid!"

"it's my fathers'."

She started to say something, and then I said, "shut up."

"what do you mean? He's being stupid."

"no, he's not," I sighed.

"it's just a stupid violin."

I felt myself going into *sage* mode. "ok. Amu, for a minute, imagine you have an unlimited supply of cream puffs."

"what-"

"never mind why cream puffs, just listen! So you care for these cream puffs very, very much."

"why would you get attached to a cream pu-"

"never mind why! So, one day, the cream puffs are gone. How would you feel?"

"there just cream pu-"

"oh, FORGET IT!" I said, throwing my hands up in the air. "what if tomorrow your (crazy bird-watching dad) walked out on you and left you only his pair of (crazy bird-watching) binoculars?! Would you be likely to throw them out?!"

"well, no."

"point made." I said flatly, and walked back to Tadase's silent vigil next to Nagihiko. "I think I saw his hand twitch," I said casually to Tadase, but relief flooded me so quickly I felt light-headed. Tadase looked rather grumpy, but he said, "yes, it seems that way."

I ended up falling asleep, listening to Ikuto's and Amu's murmured conversation in the background.

Next morning

I woke to Nagihiko watching me sleep, but I shoved aside my burning anger at the creepy stalker and hugged him.

"NAGIIII!!!" I screamed, hugging him, and drawing the stares of some American tourists walking by with various maps.

"wow," he said feebly. "I should pass out more often if this is the reception I get."

I let go of him and hit him.

"guess everything's back to normal," said Nagihiko, rolling his eyes, and Amu laughed. What is going on in that girls' head? I can hear her gears whirring.

On that happy note.

* * *

What's this? Tadase getting a little jealous? ;) this is his punishment for being so "ooh, we're going out!" in episode 75! That little bastard's gonna pay in my fanfiction! (ever since episode 75, I've been in insane Amuto Fangirl mode. Gomen, readers... it will pass shortly.) so, anyway... they're getting closer! Closer! One of these days/chapters, Rima going to have a little angsty session about how she REALLY feels and I might throw in Ms. Psycho/Ritsu's mom the psychiatrist to stir things up.

Also, I've been noticing a bunch of my readers are from the United States (except for Smallvillegirl2, who's from maple-syrup-land like me! ^^), so I'm going to make the guardians-plus-the-Tsukiyomis go on a fun trip to America (due to a colossal foul-up on behalf of Yaya... but you don't need to know that). Well, see you next chapter, which is teh opening night for _Alice In Wonderland_! Yay!


	18. His Sneaky DiaryReading!

Home, locked in my bedroom so that the psychos can't get at me

As soon as I walked in, my mom screamed, "RIMA MASHIRO, GET INTO THE KITCHEN RIGHT NOW!"

I walked into the War Zone, where both my parents were standing with their arms crossed.

"first, you sneak out. then, you go over to Hinamori's house without permission! What's gotten into you lately? It's all the fault of those idiots who call themselves 'the guardians' or whatever the hell it is. Hanging around with university students and fourth-graders... and fighting criminals! What the hell did you think you were doing?!"

"what?!" I said, panicking. _How the hell does she know about that? _

"maybe from... THE FRICKING NEWSPAPER?!" she held it up, and the headline said, 'KIDS FIGHT HOMICIDAL MANIAC.' The Deathsicle was a blur in Yuto's hands. It could have been a rifle or an axe. Tadase just blended in with the scenery, and our character transformations were blurred as well, but the thick mop of blond hair was unmistakable to my mother.

"why would you fight a crazy killer, Rima? You could have died."

"he was going after my friends." I said. It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the whole truth, either.

"that's no reason to fight him yourself!" she was getting all teary-eyed and I knew the movie-like family hugs were coming up soon. "you go to the police, or that creepy headmaster of yours, or..."

We're just glad you're alive, Rima," said my father firmly and my mother turned on him. "NO! we can't just say that! She has to learn that she can't do everything herself..."

As they began arguing, I slunk up the stairs and locked my bedroom door carefully behind me. I then called Amu. "Amu? how's Nagihiko doing?" he was currently at her house because Ms. Fujisaki would love to know why he had Deathsicle scratches all over him.

"Ok," she said. "well, he's still fairly weak, but he's watching the Sunday morning cartoons and Ami thinks he's her new playmate..."

I snorted. "okay, he should get home soon, because his mother's just been calling everyone wondering where he is..."

"gotcha," said Amu.

"ne, Amu-chan, what happened between you and Ikuto when I fell asleep?"

I could practically see her go red on the other end of the line. "OH MY GOD!" I shrieked. "did he make out with you or something?!"

"NO! NO, it's not that!!!" she said in a high-pitched voice.

"oh, so what was that then, Amu-chan?" said another voice.

I froze. I could feel Amu freeze too.

"what?" complained the voice. "I hooked myself up to your phones systems ages ago, in case something happened. Funnily enough, Utau seems to get pretty pissed off at me too when I listen to her phone conversations..."

"YOU PEDOPHILE!" Amu yelled, and I held the phone an inch away. "GET OUT!!!"

"get out? of what?" Ikuto was on the verge of laughter. "be quiet for a minute, I need to inform Rima-chan just exactly what you said... or did..."

"what did she do?" I asked, and at that moment another voice came on. "ne, Ikuto, have you seen my black skirt with the charm thingies on the side?"

There was silence for a minute, and then Utau said, "what... are you doing...?"

"nothing," he said, in a guilty voice.

"I expect "nothing" is something that'll get you put in jail! I can hear your damn rock music blasting from your room. Don't make me go in there!"

"he's listening in on my phone conversations!" said Amu indignantly.

"ooh, you're so busted," taunted Utau. "I'm coming in there RIGHT NOW!"

"no!" said Ikuto.

I heard stomping from Utau's and Ikuto's end, and then I could hear Utau on her phone and also in the background of Ikuto's:

"THAT'S IT! NO CELL PHONE FOR A MONTH!"

"WHAAATT?!" yelled Ikuto. "NO FAIR!"

"is too fair!"

"you shouldn't treat your big brother that way!"

"big brother? What a joke! You're younger than Amu emotionally!"

"why am I getting dragged into this dumb conversation?" said Amu, the 'cool and spicy' creeping into her voice.

"Aww, Amu-chan's trying to be cool."

_Click_.

"gomen for my pervert onii-chan," said Utau, and there was another click.

"so, what did happen?" I asked Amu.

I could feel her blush radiating through the phone lines.

"OK, I won't ask."

"thank you," she said, sounding greatly relieved.

"so," I said, trying to stir up any conversation topic. "Nagihiko. He really is your best friend, huh?"

"yeah," she said happily. "well, I've been wondering for awhile, because I know his family does kabuki theatre, but all the same..."

There was an awkward silence for a minute, and then Amu said snidely, "you looked totally jealous, though. You really do like him, don't you?"

"what? No!"

"you're friends now, right?"

"it's a long jump from friend to.. b-boyfriend," I stuttered over the word, and Amu heard me and laughed. "I think he likes you too, though. No use pretending, right?"

"no! I don't like him!" I kept repeating it over and over throughout the entire conversation, trying to convince myself, scratch that, AMU that I didn't have any feelings at all for the evil genius.

When I finally hung up, I fell back onto the bed, sick. Amu had reminded me of everything I had been denying myself – the insane crying over his corpse, the whole hate thing, and the one she did remind me of that I forgot was the fake crying and hiding when he first transferred to Seiyo.

"how is that proof at all?" I had said in my coldest and most quietly scathing voice.

"you were hiding. Hiding equals shy. And shy equals lovesick."

"that's the biggest load of crap I've ever heard, and I grew up watching Fox News!"

"don't worry. He told me later he thought it was kinda cute."

"he WHAT?!"

And then I went red. _Why am I going red over a useless boy like Fujisaki?! _I thought furiously to myself, but the red didn't fade. I wish KusuKusu had been there to make me laugh and make the red fade, but she still hadn't come out of her egg.

And so I sat there, alone with my thoughts like in those scary manga. MANGA! That was it!

Later

I went into my mom's room and stole a whole bunch of her scary shojo manga. That should do it. all I have to do is compare my symptoms to the lovesick sailor-suit girls in the manga.

I cracked it open to a random page, and it was a girl petting a cat. A little thought bubble was over her head.

_Am I really in love with Daisuke? Kyaaa, he makes me feel so hapiii. _Blush blush blush, flashback. _I wonder if I am. Well, if I am, I'll make him a bento! Da dada dum! _

What a load of crap! Why should you make some guy food?

_Hi, Aiwa-chan! Guess what? I'm in love with Hachiro! Yaaay! Squee! I'm going to tell him just how I feel! _Run, run, run, run, run. Open door. _Hachiro-kun? I... I love you! ever since I set my eyes on you... _blush blush. _...what? you... _blush. _You do? I... _make out. the end.

WHAT THE HELL? THAT HAD NO STORY STRUCTURE AT ALL!

_What am I going to do? First date? What do I wear? Nyaaa?_

Why did she just meow?

_I hope he thinks I look nice... desu... _

Now she just used a Japanese noun completely out of context!

_Squee Squee Squee! Nya, desu ne? nyano da~! _

THAT MADE NO SENSE! Maybe that's what turns guys on? Saying nonsensical words strung together?

"Kyaaa," I told the mirror, and it broke. Kidding, it didn't, but it might as well have for all the good it did.

Then I started laughing at how stupid I looked, and I felt KusuKusu's egg move.

There's hope. Temari hatched. So will Dia soon, or so Amu tells me (she says she can 'feel it'. kinna vague there). Therefore, so will KusuKusu!

Monday

Dressing room, 7:23

Opening night for _Alice in Wonderland_. Uhhhh. I hate my lines, which have been twisted beyond recognition. And I hate that stupid poofy dress.

The dress is kawaii, Ri-Ri-tan. You're just embarrassed.

NAGIHIKO, GET OUT OF MY DIARY, DAMMIT!

Why? It's fun reading all your badly-spelled words.

Oh, screw you.

Oh, I'm so hurt.

Don't make me bring up the pyon-pyon bunny suit extraordinaire.

OK. I won't.

GO AWAY!

Fine.

ANYWAY, as I was saying, I hate that poofy dress. Even though all the fanboys-plus-Amu are in love with it.

Sigh.

Here I go.

I better leave my script in here so I don't lose it while I go on stage for act one.

_Alice in wonderland, Scene I. _

_Alice and her CRAPHEAD BORING sister are sitting. _

_Alice: I'm bored. _

_Sister: screw you. lemme read._

_Alice: is that a rabbit?_

_Sister: what's a rabbit?_

_Alice: that. _

_Alice points to THE LOL FUNNY BUNNYSUIT rabbit. _

_White Rabbit: (pyon! Pyon! Pyon!) oh dear! Oh dear! I shall be too late and then the funny queen person's gonna skin me and roast me on her croquet stick on top of an open bonfire with a couple cards!_

_Alice: sorry. Didn't quite catch all that, Playboy Bunny. _

_White Rabbit: don't get me started on Playboy! That magazine's degrading to women. _

_Extra walks across stage with "sponsored by Playboy magazine" sign._

_White rabbit: well, I don't want to waste my time talking to snotty teenagers, so bye. _

_Hops down rabbit hole. _

_Alice: my sister says you're not supposed to follow strangers down rabbit holes, but what does that old bag know?_

_END SCENE I._

Intermission

Yeesh. AIW is supposed to be a funny play, but we got more laughs than Russell Peters during prime time! Naka-sensei (the one who edited the script beyond recognition) kept yelling at the audience, "THAT'S NOT FUNNY!". Then they laughed even harder, because at that moment a Yamabuki Saaya Fangirl walked by with the "sponsored by Playboy magazine" sign (they were the only people we could get to sponsor us).

Time to go back on. Ugh. If Nagihiko touches my diary, he's so dead.

This Diary Belongs to Nagihiko Fujisaki. KEEP OUT! THAT MEANS YOU, MOM!

OK, confession time: I read Rima's entire diary while she was getting the pants bored off her onstage by the Mock Turtle and his cronies.

But would you pass out on the opportunity? And I've known her for four years, so is there anything I don't know about her?

Answer: Yes. And I had a ridiculous amount of fun finding out, considering I'm supposedly nice and polite.

Sigh.

But I couldn't pretend I was pretty shocked when I read her latest entry. The one with the phone conversation... well, if Amu's on to me, there's no stopping her. damn.

So Rima's actually pretty confused right now. That's so cute! And for some reason I can't fathom she's reading shojo manga. When she wrote about saying 'Kyaaa' to the mirror I fell over laughing like a demented maniac. And she writes about me a lot. Huh. You'd think there'd be little Nagihiko voodoo dolls marking her place.

And she has no idea about stupid Tadase! That damn bastard really has dumped Amu and has started liking Rima. Well, I started first so that makes me have dibs. Right???

RIGHT.

Well, screw the gay blond, I'm sure she likes me more anyway.

I really have serious issues, don't I?

Rima's Diary~~~Bala-balance! RiRi pwns! Don't you dare read if you value your life.

Dressing room

Well, that sucked.

Ish.

Why're you writing in my diary again, Fujisaki?

Because I'm bored.

You're anoyying.

That's 'annoying'.

Shut up. My crap spelling is what makes me me.

'makes me me?!'

That, and my bad grammer. Happy?

Very. And that's 'grammar'.

UGGHH. I'm usually not that bad at spelling, you know. It's all your fault because you're here.

And how does that impact? Do I make you nervous? Ha, ha.

You can just take your big words and shove them up your

Pssht. No bad language from the grade-schooler, now.

GO AWAY!!!

Fine.

Humph. Anyway, yes, it sucked. I don't like being laughed at onstage. And the audience is all laughing at the same time, so instead of a normal laugh, it's like, "HA. HA. HA." And that's kind of scary.

All-in-all, it was pretty funny though. Amu tripped over the end of her hearts dress, and Tadase's crown fell off. And Tadase kept saying, "off with their heads!" with this big grandfatherly-like smile plastered all over his face. And as Yamabuki was singing, the curtain came down on top of her, cueing in the music.

Good times.

Later

Actually, I reread all the stuff Nagihiko wrote in my diary, over and over and over again. What's wrong with me? No offense to me, but how stalkerish! As I was walking, I accidentally walked into someone. It was only when she turned around did I realize it was Mrs. Psycho! My Family Studies teacher!

"Maaashiiiroooo, tsktsktsk. NOO CRASSHIING INTO PEOPLES!!!"

"Right. sorry." I said, trying to sidestep her but not succeeding.

"what's that you're reading? It's not good to read while you walk, you know." She read it upside down before I cold do anything. "OH, I understand! You like Fujisakiiii!!!"

"why does everyone keep telling me that?" I grumbled to myself, and before I could offer up any kind of resistance I was in Mrs. Psycho's office drinking tea and getting "psychiatric help".

"blushing?" she threw at me.

"yes, but-"

"think you hate him?"

"yes, but-"

"desperate reading of shojo manga in an effort to figure out what to do?"

"yes, but-"

"don't read them, it's all crap. Jealous when he's around other girls?"

"I don't know if it's jealousy or I'm sick, or – anything!" I said, finally able to finish a sentence.

"if I were you, I'd assume jealousy," said Mrs. Psycho, inspecting the piece of paper on which she was taking notes. "Mashiro-kun, according to this _Seventeen _magazine quiz, you're madly in love with Fujisaki."

"but we're just friends!"

She inspected me over the tops of her glasses. "do you really believe that?"

Answer: No.

HANG ON!!! I JUST ANSWERED MY OWN QUESTION!!!

IF I DON'T BELIEVE THAT WE'RE JUST FRIENDS, THEN WHAT THE HELL ARE WE???

"bye, Mashiro!" she said merrily, dumping some more Red Bull in her tea. "see you in Family Studies twelve!"

How am I going to tell the person I've hated for almost four years that I love him?

* * *

It's about time you realized, Rima-chan~! LOL. Anyway, I thought this would funny because now they both like each other and don't know it.

Oh, but there's gonna be drama... so much drama... and also the appearance of yet another OC! I'm sorry for all the OC's. I usually don't like them, because to me there's a fine line between "Mary-Sue" or 'self-insertion" and "Original character". No more after this! But I like OC's T_T.

Anyway, I did promise you a fun trip to the US, didn't I? I guess that'll come after the drama *sigh*. Drama = competition, and not in the athletic way, and that's not Tada-gay. That's the only hint I'll give you :). I got this great idea for 'drama' today in French class. yes, French class. French is like the Canadian Spanish, I suppose. Je hate français, français equals mal notes for moi :(. Anyway, next chapter, drama. Chapter after that, drama conclusion. Chapter after that, watch out America, here comes some crazy Japanese teenagers who can't speak a word of English. XD that's my plan so far, anyway. See you in chapter 19~!


	19. His Crappy Taste in Girls

Tuesday

I faked sick today, just to avoid Nagihiko. I mean, kyeesh! Knowing me, I'll just blush and mumble to myself and then the cat will really be out of the bag.

Speaking of cats, I wonder what Ikuto's doing with that damn violin?

Anyway, my mother was just like, "where does it hurt, Rima-chan?"

"everywhere," I groaned. I had been holding the lamp against my forehead for the last half hour. She felt my forehead. "god, Rima, that's a fever if I ever saw one! Bed for you, young lady."

"but I need to go to school!" I said weakly, pretending to attempt to move.

"tsk, tsk. No, no, you stay in bed. I'll make you cinnamon toast with the crusts cut off."

Heh.

"don't go to too much trouble!" I called weakly after her.

Later

Urgh, it is boring, faking sick.

I guess I will go to school.

School

Yippee. I had to walk in right in the middle of ENGLISH CLASS. One of the classes I have with NAGIHIKO. I had been so bored I didn't even remember the reason I had stayed home!

Keeping my eyes on Number One Shakespeare Fan Hanasaki-sensei, I said quietly, "sorry. I was sick this morning, and I have a note."

"oh, ok." And then Hanasaki ruined my life, again. "Nagihiko, can you work with Mashiro-san and tell her what we're doing?"

Damn.

The whole time, I kept my eyes focused on the paper. Once, he accidentally brushed my hand, and I went so red I'm surprised he remained totally oblivious.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?!?!

Sayuri, one of Nagihiko's stupid fangirls, kept shooting me evil looks. I never really did like her. She was always giving me Death Glares and once she pushed me so hard that I fell, and then said, "oh, sorry," and kept walking away, laughing.

"Rima, you're not hearing a word I'm saying!" said Nagihiko, snapping me out of my reverie. And then instinctively, I looked up. At him. And went red.

"your face looks kind of red, and you're usually not such a space cadet like this. Are you sure you're not still sick?"

"maybe a little, but I'm not that sick..." I mumbled, and he rumpled my hair affectionately (which brought around another round of blushing and a we'll-kill-you-later look from Sayuri) "don't worry. Just _try _and put a little effort into English? Or else I'll have to tutor you in that, too, and you know how much sick fun I'd get out of that."

Fangirls&Co. hissed, but I laughed weakly and really quite pathetically. "ok."

And then the bell rang, and I ran like hell to get under the safe protection of Amu and Yaya.

"HEY MASHIRO!" yelled one of Sayuri's cronies. Funnily enough, Sayuri wasn't there herself. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING, GETTING SO CHUMMY WITH NAGI?!"

I tried to be passive, as usual, and play dumb. "what?"

"Pssht, don't give us that!"

"we've been friends since elementary school."

"we're not blind! We can all see you like him, you know!"

I froze. "no, I... don't."

They sniffed. "right. sure. Anyway, if you do, why don't you join our numbers? There's one thing, though."

"is that so?" I said passively.

"you have to surrender Nagihiko Fujisaki-san to our leader, Sayuri!"

"you're like those crazy Prince Yuki fangirls from Fruits Basket," I grumbled. "Tsuki-sensei, how the hell did that happen? This isn't a Furuba crossover, you know! First Mrs. Psycho, now Nagihiko's fangirls..."

"I'm sorry!" said .kimi, taking a break from typing to flap her arms hysterically. "I don't know how that happened! I guess I'm just stuck on _Maniac Diaries _mode."

"well, snap out of it! what, am I Tohru now or something?" I snapped.

"no, of course not! Carry on!"

"anyway," I continued, "no way am I joining your crazy fan base. That's dumb."

They all looked kind of pissed, and I made to turn around and walk away.

"don't be all cool, Mashiro! As we speak, Sayuri-chan is asking him out!"

Before I could do anything, I froze again. "what?"

"yeah!" said one of them, looking pleased they had scored one on me. One laughed, "Mashiro got served!" and the other one continued, "yeah. Yeah, like... yeah."

I walked away, shocked. Actually, I was more pissed off at Nagihiko for letting that crazy girl corner him! _Dammit! _I wanted to scream. _I could've asked... it could have been me... _I tried to shake scary images of me in wedding dresses out of my head. _Don't be stupid, Rima. he's not marrying her. She could break up with him... or vice-versa. Please let it be vice-versa, I'd love to see the look on Yuri's face._

I suddenly felt a sob choke my throat, and I ran to the nearest hiding place... which happened to be the tiny corner behind the bush amid the pipes where I skipped class. And then I started crying. _You crybaby, Rima!_ scolded the voice inside my head. I had automatically turned to my right pocket for KusuKusu to cheer me up.

_She's gone_.

No. she's not. She's still an egg.

I was still pondering why I didn't miss KusuKusu as much as I did, except when my parents fought. I should've been screaming my head off. But, I still had my friends, the guardians...

_Oh? Nothing specific? Just the guardians? _Snorted the voice inside my head.

No. sigh.

And then it hit me. Kind of like in the _Golden Compass_. NO, THAT CAME OUT WRONG! A golden compass did _not _just whack me over the head or something, if that's what you're thinking. What I meant was, I think I know the reason Shugo charas disappear. KusuKusu says that something else takes its place, like...

_Love. _

Kind of like how in the _Golden Compass _daemons settle because they're owners fall in love, right? (I had to read _The Golden Compass _in grade seven for Novel Studies).

But I can't be in love, right? I'm sixteen! I have my whole life ahead of me! I can't fall in love when I can't even drive! (I tried to drive but I'm still too short to see over the steering wheel. Boo hoo.)

And, what's more, I can't fall in love because if I am in love with Nagihiko, that would mean I've been in love with him since I was... eleven? Urgh the math is making my head hurt. Anyway, I can't fall in love at eleven!

_Can't you? _

Shut up, I told the voice, you sound like my mother.

It didn't shut up.

_We mother-like figures prefer to be called consciences. Just admit it, you filthy hypocrite; you love him. Why not fall in love at eleven? Are there some rules that say you can't? What's wrong with liking Nagi, anyway? He's cute. _

SHUT UUUPPP.

"Rima?" said a voice suddenly. "is that where you're hiding?"

"oh," I grunted. "it's you."

"who did you think it would be?"

"the skipping class patrol or something."

Amu snorted. "anyway, come on. Another guardian meeting."

"again?"

"it's about that guy; Shizunabe. C'mon, let's go! Break is short!"

"how did you find me, anyway?"

She went red.

"aaaahhhh; it was the evil stalker cat. How many sexual favours did he extract from you to find me?"

"Rima-chan, you know me too well," said Ikuto sleekly from a tree above my head.

"NOTHING! I JUST ASKED HIM!" said Amu, going the colour of a fire truck.

"I should take all my classes at night next semester, too," said Ikuto, seeming oblivious to the neon red mass that was Amu. "it's really fun eavesdropping on high school students."

"YOU GO AWAY!" she yelled at him and he whined, "I can't,"

"what do you mean?"

"cats can go up trees, but not down!"

"oh, don't be stupid."

"but it's hiiiigghhh, Amu-chaaaan. Can you carry me down?"

"when hell freezes over!"

"I'll get the ice cubes," I said sarcastically.

Amu stomped off with me in tow.

Guardian's meeting, aka sitting at one of the lunch tables in the deserted cafeteria

"hi, Rima," said Nagihiko, looking over some paperwork.

I didn't reply.

"what's wrong with you?"

I glared at him.

"seriously, Rima. Not funny."

I opened a book pointedly and started reading.

" 'Romeo and Juliet'? said Yaya, reading the title.

"we have to read it for English," said Nagihiko. "actually, she'd better be reading it because she's only on Act One, Scene Two."

"oh, that's my favourite scene!" said Amu excitedly. "the balcony scene, right?"

"the balcony scene sucks ass," I said, glaring at the page. "why is Juliet asking why he's named Romeo?"

"she's asking _where _he is, Miss Shakespearean," said Nagihiko, still reading.

"and why is the light going yonder? Where's yonder? And how can light break a window?" I asked frantically, still reading.

" 'what light through yonder window breaks,'" quoted Nagihiko. "means that the light is going through the window. We already went over this in class."

"no one asked you."

"actually, you did."

"I hope Sayuri gives you what you deserve,"

Amu sucked in her breath and said, "Sayuri, the crazy Fangirl? What the hell were you thinking, Nagi?"

"I dunno," he said, turning the page idly. Then he put it down, and stared at me hard. "is that what this is all about?"

"no." I said, trying to keep my voice even.

But for some reason he was fighting back a smile. "it's none of your business who I date, Rima."

"that's not what it's about at all!"

"I feel the atmosphere getting a little romantic," observed Yaya, and I chucked a donut at her.

"chocolate, my favourite! Thanks, Rima-tan."

I ignored her. "I'm just saying, so is Amu! she's a crazy Fangirl. And she hates my guts."

"oh, she hates mine too, don't worry," said Amu breezily. "they used to be fans of Tadase."

Nagihiko sighed. "jealous, Rima?"

"just worried about your sanity."

"aw, the cold demon's worried about me," he was still fighting back the sickest grin I had ever seen. "what, is Sayuri going to turn into an evil gremlin at sunset?"

"just don't feed her after midnight!" volunteered Yaya.

"fine," I snapped at him, "go ahead, it's none of my business."

And I stomped off to math class.

* * *

Gomen about the long wait :(.

Lol, the Gremlins reference was because the other day I watched a Family Guy spoof of it; you know, the one where Lois is like, "come on, Peter, you know what the little Chinese man said, don't feed him after midnight!" XD

Damn Sayuri, she's pretty nasty. Oh, me and my insane villain OC's. anyway, I've also decided that at the end of this I want Ikuto to kill some people. Wouldn't that be cool? (I mean Easter people; not anybody good). Yeah, I have the end all worked out, but it's the filler I'm worried about. 52 chapters is way too much and I want to take a break from fanfictioning when I'm finished RCS. Methinks perhaps thirty chapters, but that means no card references! Or 26, because that's half of 52. T_T anyway, see you in chapter 20!


	20. His and Tadagay's Nasty Conversations

Wednesday

I am proud to say I haven't talked to the stupid idiot for one whole day! Yay!

Ungghhhh.

Amu's coming over today after school, which is nice because that means no guys and no hyper Yaya. Don't get me wrong, she's nice, but she's been eating sugar non-stop so she's going to be crazy.

And crazy is something I definitely don't need right now.

Math

Yamamoto-sensei, my crazy math teacher, picked on me today! nastiii!!! Anyway, he was all, "Mashiro, what is the value of _s_ in this question?"

I paused for a minute. The question on the whiteboard just looked like a bunch of letters, numbers, and brackets.

"oh... I know!" I said, and Yamamoto-sensei looked greatly relieved. "about time, Rima. so, the value of _s _would be..."

"stupid! _S _for stupid."

Yaya burst out laughing. "_s _for stupid algebra! Nice one, Rima-tan!"

Me and Yaya now have detention. Blaahhhh.

Lunch

Nagihiko and I were silent, while Amu and Tadase tried to fill up the silence with random babble. It was actually kind of scary. Once, Amu asked if we just could apologize to each other and we both just gave her a disgusted look. So then they just kept on with their frantic conversation-making.

Finally, Amu got up and said, "whatever. I have to get to class now. Coming, Rima?"

I got up and followed her to History. Actually, as I left, I could hear Nagihiko and Tada-gay talking. Ugh.

After School

My life is so over.

Amu came over, right? And as soon as we got upstairs, she started on this big rant about what a baka Nagihiko was being to date such a loony idiot like Sayuri.

"I mean, she's a total freak! Remember what she did to you that one time in grade nine? And she totally hates the guts of any girl who gets close to Nagi! She's crazy, I swear to God. But anyway, don't beat yourself u-"

But I couldn't really hold it back at all anymore, and so I interrupted her by flinging myself on the bed and bursting into tears (lucky no sound can get through my door, otherwise my mother would think Amu was murdering me or something).

"Rima?!" said Amu, shocked. And then a flicker of understanding passed over her face. That's when I got up, gulping (and looking pretty much like a mess in general).

"you... filthy... HYPCRITE!" she screamed, passing me the box of tissues and breaking into a maniac grin. "YOU HYPOCRITE!! YOU'RE HORRIBLE!" and started laughing crazily. "why didn't you tell me you liked him? Huh? HUH?"

"I thought you did," I said, gulping back more tears and moving the trash can right under me.

"what? No way! You heard me, he's my best friend. Oh, you IDIOT! Ha, ha, haa...."

I blushed again. "but... he's... DATING THE FANGIRL FREAK!!!" I screamed, and burst into Round Two of tears.

"Rima-chan, don't cry!" said Amu, flustered and probably feeling out of her depth. "I personally don't think he likes her..."

"then why's he going out with her?!" I shrieked, whacking my pillow crazily.

"well, two reasons, actually. One, he's always been kind of weak-willed and doesn't really like saying no."

"but he tricked you loads of times."

"that's different. He's really manipulating to people he knows, but he feels he has to be polite to people he doesn't. And the second reason... oh, Rima... I think he was trying to make you jealous."

The only sound for a minute was the ticking of my clock and the funny shifting KusuKusu was making in her egg. I finally spoke up after about a minute.

"no... no way. He doesn't like me, I'm positive."

_Yeah, RIIIGHHHTTT!!! _Sang the annoying voice that had awoken at the back of my head. Amu seemed to voice the same opinion, as she snorted. "right. sure. Are you kidding? You haven't guessed by now?"

"well, I'm not that pretty..."

"Rima, stop being modest. Remember when you first transferred here, and there were all those crazy fanboys? You're really pretty. And... you're... really... KAWAII!!!" she suddenly leaped onto the bed and hugged me.

"has he told you that he does?"

"what, like you? No, but I don't think he has to."

Amu wasn't they type to give me false hope, but all the same, I had my doubts.

_...__couldn't continue to balance, as it did, on the point of a knife..._

I wasn't the type to compare Twilight to my life, but we couldn't remain friends if I told him. It would turn way too awkward. Would I risk that?

_Yes,_ said the voice.

_You know,_ I told the voice, _you're getting really annoying. You always tell me what I want to hear._

_What you need to hear,_ corrected the voice.

_What are you anyway? _I told the voice. _You're not me. _

As soon as I thought this, I realized it was true. This voice wasn't me, just telling myself what I wanted to hear.

_Are you... a Chara? _I asked it.

It was a minute until it gave me an answer.

_Yes. _

* * *

WOOOOT. CLIFFHANGER! Even I'm excited about what's going to happen! Sorry for the short chapter, anyway. I'm going to start writing chapter 21 as soon as this is uploaded! I've never heard of charas talking before they're eggs are even born, but this Chara is going to be a lot more intelligent compared to KusuKusu. Yeah, I considered giving Rima a second Chara a while back, but decided against it. but, now I'm addicted to making OC's so here comes Chara number two, and Dia's gonna hatch too because IMHO Dia's being a lazy bitch by not hatching :(.

Well, because of 1) the odd twist this chapter has made, 2) the fact that I don't want to stop this story and 3) people were disappointed about there not being 52 chapters, I'll make it official: yes, yes, I'm making this story have 52 chapters T_T. what the hell am I thinking? Anyway, I wonder if the story will end up spanning more than one year? Mebe :P.

Oh, and thank you for the reviews! I get people telling me all the time that this is their favourite fanfic ^^. Oh yeah and for any non-canadians out there who were wondering what the hell Tim Hortons is from last chapter, TH is a canadian franchise that sells coffee and donuts and crappy english muffins :(. But what the hell why shouldn't there be a Timmy Ho's in Japan? Huh?! *goes yanki*


	21. His Eyes

Continued

I suddenly said in a dazed voice slowly, "...Amu-chan."

She jerked her head up. "yeah?"

"...a Chara... I have a new Shugo Chara."

She fell off the bed. "what? Ow!"

"it hasn't been born yet, but it... I think it just spoke to me."

"I don't believe it, Rima, that's amazing, but I think I sat on something..." she got up and dusted off her skirt. "It's KusuKusu's egg. How did it get on the floor?"

"that's not KusuKusu. She's sitting right over there. And KusuKusu isn't purple."

"then what..." she spluttered, and then gave a shriek. "RIMA! I think your Shugo Chara _has _been born!"

I ran over to the egg. It was purple and blue and had a checked pattern like KusuKusu's, but it had butterflies on it.

"butterflies?" said Amu blankly, as if I had chosen what was on my egg like a little kid with a set of stickers. "why?"

I took it and carefully set it next to KusuKusu's egg. "I don't know. I don't even know what desire this was born from."

"oh, Rima," said Amu, in the voice she uses on stupid first-graders, "isn't it obvious? It's not a coincidence it showed up now!"

I looked at her.

"duh, Rima. what just happened to you? hm?"

"I just got an F in math?"

"actually, that might be it," said Amu, inspecting it. "but that wasn't what I was thinking."

"does this reason start with an N?"

"Yay!" she said, hugging me again. "you got it!"

"that's stupid."

"Ican'twaitforittohatch," said Amu, getting really excited.

"me, neither," I said, looking at it. "but I still miss KusuKusu. Do you think it'll know how to Charanani like yours?"

"I think that's just because of the Humpty Lock," she said thoughtfully. "I guess Yoru knew how to right off the bat when he hatched as well because Ikuto had the Dumpty Key."

"don't say his name," I warned. "he might show up,"

"too late," he said, playing with a dead bird on my window.

"you really need to get a hobby during the day instead of stalking eleventh-graders," I told him.

"no way! Not when it's getting so exciting." He grinned. "so, new Chara, Rima-chan? Whoopee, you teenagers are so hormonally imbalanced."

"you're still a teenager for all you've matured!" snapped Amu.

"oh, well, now that you've matured, Miss Teenager... know what mature people do?"

"you shut up!" yelled Amu, her face going red again.

"we sleep in the same bed, don't we?"

"you WHAT?!" I yelled at her. I guess she's gone father than I thought. And not even with Tada-gay! "you haven't even made out with Hotori!"

"Amu's a player!" teased Ikuto and her face darkened even farther. "stop telling him about my social life, Rima!"

"don't let her spoil your fun," advised Ikuto.

"and it's not like I- I- I slept with him or anything!" said Amu, flapping her arms crazily. "I was eleven! For gods' sake, I was a little kid! And he had nowhere to go, because Easter was tracking everyone, and..."

"he's been sleeping with you... for four years..." I said slowly, my brain working overtime. "and now you're sixteen and he's twenty-one so... you're not little kids _anymore._"

"Amu looks like a beet," observed Ikuto from the window.

"well, we're more like childhood friends then, when you think about it." said Amu, her blush fading.

Ikuto kind of frowned at that, but I don't think Amu noticed.

"so you've slept with Ikuto and haven't even had your first kiss. That's pretty sad, once you think about it," I said, mostly for Ikuto benefit.

"oh, Amu-chan's a virgin," he said under his breath.

"shut up, shut up, shut up," she mumbled, hands over her ears.

"Rima?" called my mother from downstairs and I said to Ikuto, "you'd better go, I guess Amu will see you at home."

"shut up, shut up, shut upppp..." Amu continued to chant quietly, while Ikuto jumped out the (second-floor) window.

Monday

Over the weekend, my parents had... dum da-da dum! Five fights! I almost wish they could get divorced now, it's getting so annoying.

And over the weekend, I swear I grew an inch. I would compare myself to Nagihiko to see how much taller in comparison he is, except we're still not talking.

That'll fix him. Or so Amu tells me. And she also suggested, "why don't you go out with someone, too? That'll kill him."

"what?" I said. "but I've never been on a date! I always say no to the people who ask me out." (ask me out on a daily basis, that is.)

"just say OK to one and watch him struggle," she said, getting a twisted grin on her face.

"you sure are evil for someone who is a sucker for good-boys like Tada-gay," I observed.

"I-it's not that!" she said, flushing. "besides, gays are people too."

"I think you're secretly into bad boys like Tsukiyomi," I pressed on.

She was silent. Ha. I'll just take that as a yes.

Guardian's meeting

Amu exploded the story about my new Chara, but when everybody asked me what desire it was born from, I lied and said I think it might be to get better grades. Nagihiko just looked at it with mild interest.

"you know, Rima-tan's new egg looks kind of like Nagi's" whined Yaya, and I threw some pastry at her head. Nagihiko just started grinning.

Ok, that's it. I'm going to say yes to the next guy who asks me out.

English

After class, I was packing up my stuff, and I noticed Nagihiko standing outside the door waiting for me. And then I heard the voice again, coming form the egg this time, not my head.

_You should just apologize, Ri-Ri-tan. He'll probably dump Sayuri then._

Shut up, I told it. Revenge.

_Revenge is never a wise idea, _it whined.

It is with me! I told it.

"Mashiro-san?" somebody asked, and I turned around.

"I really like you. will you go out with me?"

I actually saw Nagihiko's back stiffen, and then I did a horrible thing.

"K."

It was some guy with blond hair. Hang on...

"really?" said Tadase, taken aback.

"K," I said flatly, and the egg started going crazy. _YOU IDIOT, RIMA! THIS WILL END BADLY, I SWEAR TO GOD!!! THIS ISN'T JUST ANY GUY, IT'S NAGI'S FRIEND! That's so disgusting, Rima... honestly. _

"are you all right, Mashiro-san?" said Tadase, cocking his head.

"ish."

He laughed. "bye,"

_Oh, yeah, _said the egg, still on a rant. _And I thought Amu liked him? _

I suddenly stopped. Oh, yeah...

_You didn't even think about that, did you? how the hell is Amu going to react? But... _it sighed. _I'm honour-bound to get you out of any bad situation, so I guess I'll do my best to guide my Rima-chan. _

I glared at the egg.

"so, the egg made you say yes to Tadase?" said Nagihiko, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

"no," I said, going into my passive state. "what made you say yes to Sayuri?"

"sometimes, I'm awed at the lengths to which girls will sink to get revenge." He said, fighting back a smile.

"stop smiling!" I cried, standing on tip-toes to try to reach higher. When I did, he was only taller then me by about two centimeters. "you always grin when I do something stupid! It's not funny at all!" then I fell over from being on my tip-toes for so long. and which way should I fall but... forward.

"why do I always have to catch you when _you_ do something stupid?" he said exasperatedly. "I dumped Sayuri, anyway."

".... what?" I said, looking up at him (he was still holding me, by the way. And looking up was not a good move on my part because now that I'm taller I just end up closer to... his eyes.)

"yep."

"good. She's a crazy Fangirl."

He leaned in slightly, and that's when there was a sudden _bang._

"the egg!" I yelled, and fumbled for it just in time.

********

Whee! Next chapter you meet Rima's new Chara! Stupid Shugo Chara... hatching at the hottest Rimahiko moments... anyway, here we go! I'm really on a roll with these, now.


	22. He Looks Like my Chara!

What happened after that

And so my Shugo Chara had to ruin one of the best moments of my life by hatching.

Anyway, the egg started shaking, and then there was a _bang _and a little Chara with black hair and purple eyes appeared. She had on a indigo skirt and tie and was looking quite unfazed.

"is that your new Shugo Chara?" said Nagihiko, amazed. He had caught the pieces of egg when she hatched and was looking quite unfazed as well. Actually, they really did resemble each other.

The Chara turned to me and said in a soft and quiet, yet articulate voice, "Hello, Rima-chan."

In my head, she spoke even clearer. _So this is Nagi? Even cuter in person! You bloody idiot, he dumped Sayuri for you and now you have to go out with Tada-gay!_

She continued out loud. "My name is Kanon. I was born from your desire to be more intelligent and logical."

Nagihiko snorted. "so she doesn't have to get tutored."

Kanon suddenly turned and looked at him. "you're Nagi?"

"yeah?"

Then she screamed and glomped him. "I'm Ka-chan! Nice to meet you! Rima thinks about you a lot, you kno-"

I put a hand over her mouth. "you can read minds?"

"hai," she said, focusing her attention back on me. "I am considerably more intelligent than any other Shugo Charas of your age group, though admittedly not many survive to this age. Part of my high IQ level is reading the mind of my bearer."

"so that's how you talked in my head?" I asked, forgetting Nagihiko completely.

"in theory, yes."

"amazing," breathed Nagihiko. "aren't you going to character change?"

She smiled to sappily I thought I would puke. "because you asked, I shall do it as a favour."

"wai-" I started but before I knew it a butterfly appeared in my hair and there was silence.

Nagihiko said, "what's the formula for hydrogen?"

"H20."

Then I changed back and glared at Kanon. "that's stupid."

"hey, it's better than hopping up on a desk and saying 'bala-balance!'" said Nagihiko through laughing. "you'll be getting straight A's now!"

"no," I said before I could realize what I was saying.

_Why not?_ Asked Kanon.

_No more tutoring with Nagihiko, _I whined.

_Oh..._ she said. _Good point._

"well, it would be cheating if I used Kanon for grades," I said out loud again before I could think it through. "I might as well do it myself."

Nagihiko looked impressed. Then he said, "OK then... Chemistry Carl it is."

Crapsticks.

Later

What the hell am I going to do about Tadase?

I cried about it to Amu (I have her under contract now to not tell anyone I've cried) about how I swear I didn't mean it and stuff and she just went, "oh, that's OK, Rima. I don't really like him anyway."

I choked and sat up. "what? No way! You've liked him for maybe three years straight!"

"yeah, but it was a bit groundless... and also, he started liking you... and, well, I guess I just got over it," concluded Amu.

Then Yaya suddenly flopped down. "I totally flunked Fujimoto-sensei's test! Waah!!"

"big surprise," I commented.

"no-no, Rima-tan, I have an excuse. I told him I was taking cold medication that made me all sleepy but he just leered at Yaya and told me he didn't care if I was taking steroids as long as I wrote the exam." She started to fake cry and I suddenly got an idea...

After School

"Hey, Mashiro-san, can I walk home with you?" asked Tadase.

"hm?" I said, trying to look blank. "why?"

"don't you remember?" he asked.

"actually," I said passively, "I don't remember doing anything at all since I've been taking cold medicine and so I don't really remember anything..." to prove my point, I sneezed.

Ha.

I thought I might have seen Nagihiko rolling his eyes, but it was probably my imagination (even though Kanon tells me it wasn't.)

_I'm proud of you, Rima-chan!_ Kanon told me as I walked home. _You'll make a great filthy rich strategist. Or military leader. And, incidentally, if you become filthy rich will you buy me pudding every day? _

_No, _I told her.

_How bout you buy me some anyway to celebrate my first birthday? _she whined.

_No, _I repeated.

Then she got a crafty look that I often see on Nagihiko when he's conning the teachers into giving him extra marks on tests.

_You know... I do have some nice pictures of Nagihiko... want to see? _

"no," I said out loud, but she showed me anyway.

_See? _She said, showing me the pictures (most of which were comprised of him sleeping in math class). _Sleepy time Nagi..._

Before I knew it, I stopped dead.

_They'll be all yours to love and cherish if you spend a teensy-weensy bit of your expendable allowance into buying your lovely guardian Chara some pudding. _

And so the manipulative little demon tricked me into buying her a super-sized pudding.

Home

As soon as I got up to my room (after bypassing the War Zone, in which _they're_ fighting yet again) my cell phone rang. It was Yaya.

"hey, Rima, it's Golden Week* soon, ne ne?"

"yeah," I said. I had actually been looking forward to it, because the guardians would be doing stuff together.

"well, I also said we should go Niigata* (A/N: OK, in this chapter and the next chapter, I'm having a glossary for all the Japanese culture references. Everything marked with a star has a meaning at the bottom of the page.) for it, right?"

"yeah."

"so I got the plane tickets and stuff. We'll be back in time to celebrate Kodomo no hi* at home, but it'll be just like a vacation! Won't that be fun?"

"yeah."

"so, BEG your parents on bended knee, ne ne Rima-tan? Amu-chii and Nagi-kun and Tadase-kun and Kukai-kun and..."

"OK, OK, I get it! everyone's going."

"hai hai hai!!! bai!"

And she hung up.

Then, right on cue, my mother walked in!

Later

She sat down on the bed and said, "Rima?"

I was silent.

"I'm sorry your father and I have been fighting."

I still remained silent.

"he walked out on us."

I jerked my head up. "WHAT?"

My mom did sound pretty miserable. "good riddance. He wanted to take you, too."

"where?"

"France."

I thought about how Nagihiko had stayed in Europe, but hadn't seemed very happy.

"Rima, if you want to live with your father in Europe, I won't stop you. but think about it."

"I don't need to."

"Rima-"

"I don't want to go. I want to stay here and graduate from Seiyo. I'm sick of moving."

She softened a bit. "I want to make it up to you, though. Is there anything you want? A new computer? Or I know you wanted that dress in the window the other day..."

"mom... can I go to Niigata with the other guardians for Golden Week?"

"alone? Without an adult?"

"Uhhhh..." I hadn't counted on the Concerned Parent Attack. Typical Yaya, not minding details. "well, I think we do have an adult going with us," I lied. "I'll check. If there is one, can I go?" I put on my cute puppy-that's-been-kicked-face.

"well..." she hummed and hawed for a bit and then heaved a big sigh. I knew that sigh. It was the OK-you-win sigh. "fine."

YES!

On the phone with Amu, 9:03 pm

"Amu?" I said, freaking out. "My mom says I can't go to Niigata for golden week unless an adult goes with us!"

"what?" Amu shrieked. "no! you have to come with us! um... who do we know who's an adult?"

"yeah, an adult who will let us have fun, remember," I said.

"yeah, that is a tough one," a voice agreed.

"THAT'S IT!" I yelled, scaring Amu.

"what? What's it? and who's that other voice?"

"aw, she still can't memorize my voice, even though she's heard it so often," teased Ikuto.

"Ikuto!" I barked at him. "you're coming with us to Niigata for golden week. And if anyone asks, you're a responsible adult."

Then Utau suddenly materialized and barked back, "then I have to come, too, because I'm not letting that crazy cat loose on the poor innocent civilians,"

"if Utau's coming, I'll be fine," mumbled Amu on the other end.

"yes! We have responsible adults so we can go now!" I said, actually punching my fist in the air.

"Yay?" said Ikuto.

Later

Yaya arranged a conference call with everyone, which was pretty much Kukai, the guardians, and the Tsukiyomis.

"uhhh... I have some news." She said.

"good or bad?" asked Nagihiko.

"um... ish."

"well, spit it out," snapped Amu. "Rima says she can go. So what is it?"

"we _might _not be going to Niigata. SLOW DOWN!" she said hurriedly, as everyone started to talk at once. "what I mean is... I might have accidentally booked us a flight to the United States instead."

"how the hell did you make a mistake like that?" shrieked Amu, freaking out.

"yeah, I'd like to hear how myself," interjected Utau.

"well, the word 'America' kind of looks like 'Niigata'..."

"what are you, dyslexic? Geez!" I said.

"well, my contacts were broken that day."

I sighed. "well, I'm sure we can just cancel the flight."

"actually... no." she whispered. "no refunds. And we're leaving... tomorrow. At six thirty. See you then!"

"well, at least I'm happy we're going to the land of Hamburgers," said Ikuto. "I've heard they have better cat food there."

We all hung up.

* * *

WOOHOOO!!! Off to America! XDXDXD. Things will get even better... oh so better... thanks to smallvillegirl2 :)

BTW, thank you for all the great ideas T_T I'm getting too lazy to make up my own, so it's v. helpful. Well, bring on the airplane food next chapter.

Oh, and meow120123 suggested I put a sneak peek at the end of every chapter, so Yay here's a snippet form the next chapter!

'"None of us can get to sleep because we're so dang jet-lagged! We were all asleep all day and now we're all just sitting in the guys hotel room, eyes wide open. Ikuto's the only one sleeping, but cats sleep during the day anyway. Damn the international date line. Sigh.

Later

Amu got up and said, "I'm bored. come on, let's at least play a game or something."

"like what, Amu-chii?" said Yaya. grinning. "Seven Minutes in Heaven? Spin the Bottle?"

"what? No!" said Amu, panicking.

"sounds good to me... let's start," said Ikuto, surprising us all by waking up."

OOHHH!!! Amuto and Rimahiko overload XD. I'm really excited to write this chapter (enter people muttering, 'what a pervert!'). See you in chapter 23~.


	23. His Fat Kabuki Book

The next day, SIX FREAKIN' O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING

"Rima?" called my mother from downstairs. "don't you still have to pack? You leave in half and hour!"

That was a nice wake-up-call. Literally and figuratively (I learned these words from Nagihiko, aka Mr. Big Words I Don't Know).

Clothes for three days, toothbrush, shoes. Socks. Gag manga. Kanon and KusuKusu safely in their eggs. The other day, Amu gave me a box kind of like hers but in purple and white for my eggs.

"since you're the third person now to have more than one, and Nagi doesn't want a box." She said, grinning.

"boxes are impractical!" he had called from the table.

Siiiiiiggghhh.

Oh god, I'm like a lovesick teenager. NO, RIMA. NO, NO, NO!

_Why are you putting me in this doomed box, Ri-Ri-tan? Don't you love me? One of these days, I'm going to plot with KusuKusu-chan about how best to kill you. and being at close quarters with her doesn't help your situation. _

_OH, shut up. _I said.

Narita Airport

Nagihiko shuddered as he walked into the Tokyo airport. "Bad memories in this place."

"why?" asked Amu.

"when I was leaving to go to Europe the security guy had this big fight with my mom because it said male on my passport but he said I most obviously looked like a girl."

I giggled a little behind my hand when he said that.

"it's not funny at all! Everyone kept eyeing me," said Nagihiko, stung.

"yeah, maybe people wouldn't mistake you for a girl if you cut your hair!" interjected Yaya.

He looked shocked for a minute. "yeah, I guess I should, since I'm not going back to Europe and I haven't practiced Kabuki in forever. Rima?" he looked down and saw me gripping his shirt sleeve.

"no." I told him.

"what do you mean, 'no'?"

"don't cut it. it looks pretty."

"guys don't like looking pretty!" he whined.

"if you cut it," I threatened, "I will pay Tadase to throw pastry at you."

"nice threat," he snorted, but didn't bring up the subject of his hair again.

_Yay, Rima! at the rate you're going, you'll be confessing to him next Tuesday! _Said Kanon, enthralled.

"Shut up, Kanon," I said out loud accidentally. Amu laughed. "talking to yourself, Rima?"

"no, Kanon's being an ass and talking in my head."

The egg soared out of my pocket and Nagihiko grinned at my Chara. "you're even better a making her pissed than I am!"

"I know!" she giggled and they both cracked evil identical grins at me.

"one Nagihiko too many," I muttered. "Amu, do you know what Kanon did the other day? She bribed me to buy her pudding with pictures!"

"pictures of what?" said Nagihiko.

I ignored him.

Amu looked at Kanon interestedly. "that's pretty funny. Remember how you did the same thing to get me to join the guardians, Nagi?"

"oh, yeah," he laughed. "and it worked, didn't it? pictures of Tadase sleeping seem to always have that effect."

"what?" said Tadase.

"nothing!" we all chimed back.

One hour later

The stupid plane's been delayed. And we're surrounded by chatty Americans that are talking English, using a lot of _l's _and _s's. _Apparently they actually have this letter in their alphabet that we don't have, called an L. I can never make the sound, it always comes out sounding like an R.

Right next to us is this group of teenage girls in baseball hats and "I NY" shirts that are too short. They're all on their little cell phones texting. But their cell phones are so old! They came out about a million years ago in Japan. Silly North Americans, behind on the times.

Customs 

This is the fun place where we check our luggage, in case a bunch of innocent teenagers are carrying guns, drugs, and hand grenades.

"it's because of 9-11," Nagihiko told me. "security's being tightened everywhere, especially flights to and from the United States."

"you mean in case we're hijacking a plane?"

"yep." He could see how pale my face was. "don't worry, they won't hijack a plane filled with a bunch of innocent Japanese people."

"hope not."

"oh, cheer up, you emo child."

The security guy checked our passports. He then shot at Ikuto (who was filing his nails leaning up against the security desk), "how old are you?"

"21." He looked at the guy, bored.

"who are these people?"

"my family," he lied. Amu kicked him in the shin, but I don't think anyone noticed.

"really. You're all related."

"yep."

"why all the different last names?"

"marriage and divorce complications," he said sleekly. I can't believe how good this guy can lie! When I lie, I can't meet anyone in the eye, and usually end up running away.

"really?" he said.

"really."

"OK... will you please tell me everyone's relationship to each other?" apparently this guy was still pretty suspicious.

"this is my sister, Utau."

"yes, I see the passport."

"all the blond people are her children." Utau stamped on his foot (with her high heel) and again he ignored her.

"oh, yes, all the blonds look related." He looked me, Tadase, and Utau over. "Hoshina-san looks rather young."

Ikuto whispered to the security guy, "teenage pregnancy. More of a problem than ever. Don't talk about it that much, she's very sensitive about it. Ow." Utau stamped on his foot again.

"oh, of course. I won't. The brunettes related too?"

"yes," Ikuto wildly invented. "they're the children of my other sister."

"where's she?"

"afraid of flying, she's staying home." Nagihiko was holding back his laughter, and Amu was looking more and more likely to kick Ikuto so that he could never reproduce again.

"OK. The black haired girl doesn't look like she's related to anyone. Or the pink-haired girl."

"actually," said Nagihiko through gritted teeth, "you'll find if you look on my passport it says male."

"Oh. Right. how about you... Hinamori Amu?" (by now, everyone in the lineup behind us was sighing and tapping their feet).

"they're both family friends. Can we get our stupid boarding passes now before everyone behind us kills us?"

He finally let us go.

Baggage check

We all had to take off our coats and bags and dump them in bins. "this is stupid," I muttered, but only Amu heard and she was grumbling as much as me. Then there was a beeping noise.

"that's my bag, dammit!" said Utau, diving for it.

"you're not allowed to take shampoo," the clerk told her.

"I need that! Nooooo!" but they took it away anyway.

Liquid explosive shampoo. Dun dun dun.

Waiting room

I'm hungry. Whatever, I'll wait till the plane to eat all the yucky airplane food.

Oooh, I'll put my boarding pass in here as a memento of the scary time I'll have over the pond.

_JAPAN AIRLINES BOARDING PASS_

_TYO to NYC_

_Narita to John F. Kennedy_

_Tokyo, Japan to New York, United States. _

_MASHIRO, Rima._

_Age: 16_

_Sex: Female_

_Birthday: May 17, 1993_

_Blood Type: Type B_

I peeked over at Nagihiko's too.

_FUJISAKI, Nagihiko_

_Age: 16_

_Sex: Male_

_Birthday: July 4th, 1993_

_Blood Type: Type AB_

"Creepy stalker, Rima," joked Nagihiko when he saw me looking. He was feeding a soup cracker to Kanon, who was looking at Nagihiko with the look a puppy dog would give their owner.

Blarg.

"you're going to get fat," I told her.

"Nagi-chan, tell her to stop being so mean," whined Kanon.

"oh, don't go running to him."

Then this lady, who was blissfully speaking in good old Japanese and not all the crazy English I had been hearing for the last half-hour said over the loudspeaker "_for all passengers boarding to New York, New York, America, blah, blah, blah._"

"that's us," said Utau dully. "at least I don't value my vacation time during Golden Week."

"you'll have fun," said Ikuto, and I felt her brother complex coming on. "I'll have fun as long as you're there, Iku-chan!" she squeaked.

"blehhh," said Iru, miming my thoughts and fake-barfing.

"let's GO!" yelled Yaya, getting hyper again (after recovering form the sugar crash the airport cookies gave her).

"so," she continued, as we headed towards a big silver boxy tube leading out to the airplane door, "it's fifteen hours from here to there! Dum-dee-do!"

"we have to sleep? I don't like sleeping on planes," I said, feeling my selfish personality coming through.

"me, neither, when I woke up in England I had this weird cramp from sleeping funny," Nagihiko echoed. "and that was only maybe twelve hours."

Only twelve hours. Whoop-dee-doo.

"oh, and Rima, me, and Nagi are in row twelve. I get the awesome window seat, Rima-tan middle, and Nagi-kun on the outside." Then she rattled off everyone else. Amu is in row 13, behind us. Next to Ikuto with Utau on the outside. How funny that works out.

Hee hee hee.

Oh, and then Tada-gay and Kukai in row 11, in front of us. so at least we're ish in a clump and not separated.

The plane

Oh, yeah, we're not up in the air at all. Still sitting here in this dumb plane. Nagihiko is going crazy for something to read, as we can't access our luggage in the racks until we're safely up. So he's reading the safety manual over and over.

"cool!" I said, pointing to the big yellow slide on the brochure. "it's like bouncy castle merchandise."

He frowned. "no, it's so you can get out of a plane safely. I think. You're not supposed to slide down... you're supposed to jump. And not bring any luggage with you."

I lowered my voice so that the American tourists couldn't hear us. "what about charas?"

"I guess you should take them with you. Or just keep them in your pockets all the time. But if it comes down to it, Rima, I hope they'd be able to get out if you had to leave them."

"don't worry, Ri-Ri-tan," said Kanon. "I'll drag KusuKusu out if we're in a crash. I can't believe you'd think I'm so stupid I can't get out of an airborne vehicle!"

"oh, hush you- we're moving!" I shrieked.

"we're just going to the runway, Rima. we're not blasting off to mars."

"shut up."

"you've never flown before, have you?"

"no," I whispered.

"I haven't either, Rima-tan!" chimed in Yaya. "we'll die together!"

"nice and positive, huh?" I said sarcastically. Then this person who was, thank god, speaking Japanese, said "hello, this is your captain speaking. This flight is going to take a long, long, long, long time because of trade winds. Yay!"

"why does that sound like... Nakamura-sensei?" I said, aghast.

"I'm sure it was just your imagination, Rima," said Amu.

Five minutes later

No, it wasn't. Captain Nakamura needed a little extra cash, so she's flying a plane.

We're so, so dead.

Runway

We actually started off really slow. But then we got faster. And then I did something that I normally wouldn't have done in a public place and maybe not ever and took Nagihiko's hand.

"we're going to die," I squeaked, as the plane got faster.

He squeezed my hand. "no, we're not. How much money do you wanna bet?"

"I don't want to bet because you never pay me back and you can't spend money where I'm going! and why have I gone deaf? My ears feel funny."

"it's the air pressure and resistance-"

"in dummy language?"

"air make ears go pop."

"thank you."

The plane was going really, really fast now. And then, as if it didn't give any thought into it at all, it lifted off the ground.

"that was freaky but cool, like a roller coaster!" said Yaya, enthralled and still hyper.

I uttered a quiet scream and hung onto Nagihiko's arm like a lifeline as the plane kept going. After about 1,000 feet, I thought, this isn't so bad. Well, yeah, it sucked being on a tilt all the time, but I wasn't going to die... I think. Ikuto was having a worse time than me. He was just staring straight ahead and he looked like he was trying to resist the temptation to rip any fabric in the vicinity to shreds.

"Uh... what's wrong?" Amu, said, finally noticing his angst-session.

He struggled for a minute, trying to put his discomfort into words, and then finally said with an air of utter finality, "cats don't belong in the air with no visible support underneath them. It's like being in a cage."

"oh, lighten up, Ikuto," said Utau offhandedly. "I fly all the time, you'll love it. it's all 'yes ma'am' and 'no ma'am' and 'whatever you say, ma'am.'"

"Yaya just wants them to come around with the complimentary snacks now," Yaya moaned.

"you just ate half an hour ago," I pointed out.

"yeah, but I'm hungry again."

Fifteen minutes later

Nagihiko has been rocking back and forth in his seat and fidgeting the entire time we've been climbing from book-withdrawal.

"nothing to keep my brain busy," he said quietly, twitching a little.

"I hate when my brain is busy, it means I can't devote my brain power to useful things like comedy," I said placidly. "but I am getting kinda hungry... when are they coming over with the food?" I added as an afterthought. Breakfast (which was creepy pancakes with fruit faces, compliments to my mother. She kept weeping, "my Rima-chan's going away by herself like a big girl!" barf) seemed a million years ago.

"it is pretty, though," said Yaya, looking out the window. "see? You can see that little piece of water that separates us from Korea."

"that would be the Sea of Japan, Yaya," said Nagihiko, aka Mr. I-got-an-A-in-Geography.

"I better look at my beloved country before I'm stuck in the American Dream," I said, glancing out the window.

"you probably don't know what the American Dream is, do you, Rima?" said Nagihiko, rolling his eyes.

"I'm sure you're just dying to tell me."

"the American Dream is a bit different to everyone," said Nagihiko, slowing back into his normal know-it-all state. "But, in essence, it is the widespread aspiration of Americans to live better than their parents did and belief in the freedom that allows all citizens and all residents of the United States to pursue their goals in life through hard work and free choice."

"sometimes, I wonder if you memorized Wikipedia one night just to act like a know-it-all," I said, shaking my head.

"you know it, Ri-Ri-tan."

Yay! Ten minutes later

The kindly flight attendants have given us complimentary cookies. We're finally up in the air! I can finally read my gag manga, and Nagihiko can keep reading his big fat book about some guy called Kazutaro or some other kabuki guy.

Naka-sensei keeps telling us to turn our watches forward an hour. Urgh.

Later... sigh...

We're over just a big, fat, wide expanse of ocean.

That's it.

Japan or North America is nowhere in sight.

Just BLUENESS.

Later again. I guess I should start going in American time in here, but I'm confused. 

The whirr of the plane is actually kind of relaxing. And there's the constant noise of Yaya chomping and Ikuto whining quietly in front of me and the sound of Nagihiko turning pages.

And also, I was up until midnight last night packing because SOMEONE couldn't tell the difference between Niigata and America.

I don't know how later, still stuck on top of cloud and ocean

I ended up falling asleep, but Nagihiko so kindly tells me I can't seem to sleep straight because after about five minutes of me dozing off, my head ended up falling sideways onto his shoulder.

Maybe that's why I had a funny dream about falling sideways off a cliff and onto a giant book. Then Kanon started whining in my dream, "Rima, why don't you tell him?"

Tell me what?

None of your business, Nagihiko. Stop writing spiffy comments in my diary.

I don't think you're using spiffy in the right context, and I should write in your diary because what do you need to tell me?

NOTHING. GO AWAY.

Spaz.

Anyway, I am not falling asleep for the rest of the flight.

Later later

But Amu did! Ikuto is watching her sleep, which is hilarious. Then he said thoughtfully, "I think it's nighttime back in Japan, because I'm getting all awake now,"

Utau is having the time of her life, bossing the poor flight attendants around. "you! I think your nametag says Shiroko? Come over here. I'm out of wine. What do you mean, I'm underage? I'm an _idol!_"

Scary.

Later

We're turning! It's really scary. The flight attendants hang onto the rails on the luggage racks and when the plane lurched I shuddered and clutched Nagihiko's arm like a little kid.

"we're just turning, Rima," he said soothingly. "see... we're straightening up now."

"well... it could've been something more sinister! You never know, okay?"

Later

Naka-sensei said, "oh, there's a bit of a giant storm on the Pacific right here. Bit of a lot of turbulence. Yay!"

"what's turbulence?" I asked Nagihiko, tripping over the word.

He grimaced and said, "you'll see."

Later later a;lsdkr agghhh my pen is shaking

Turbulence is the most horrid thing in the world! We've been jostled around for awhile now and I haven't let go of Nagihiko's arm once (Amu keeps smirking at me). Neither has Yaya, so Nagihiko looks like the center of a giant tug of war.

We're going to die. In the middle of the pacific ocean! With a bunch of flight attendants that want to murder Utau.

"Nagihiko?" I asked.

"Yeah?"

"there's something I really, really need to tell you before we all die."

Kanon screamed in my head, _go for it, Ri-Ri-tan!!! _

"ok. What is it?" he was looking at me unusually intently which was making me flustered but at that point Naka-sensei said over the loudspeaker, "OK! Past the turbulence! Enjoy the rest of your flight, Yay!" and I said, "oh, never mind. We aren't going to die anymore."

"what is it?" he pressed. "now you've got me all curious."

"no, no, it's not important."

"oh, that's cruel," he said grumpily.

"hmmm," I said, and I fell back on his shoulder and was asleep within seconds.

Later

It seemed only five minutes later Nagihiko shook me. "Rima, we're starting our decent. Wow, you're not going to get any sleep at all tonight."

"how long was I asleep?" I said groggily, hanging onto his arm for balance.

"oh, a while," he said brightly. "five or six hours."

"_what?" _I said. Asleep on his shoulder for five hours. That's something a creepy stalker girlfriend would do.

SHUT UP, BRAIN. OR KANON.

Later later, safely on the ground.

"we made it alive, thank god!" said Yaya, picking up her carry-on bags from under the seat.

"yeah, but I think worse awaits us outside," said Nagihiko sagely. "I hope they understand your English, Yaya."

"what? I don't speak English!" said Yaya, looking at him funny. "I thought you knew how to speak English! You were in Europe that whole time!"

"uh, I had Japanese teachers in Europe," he said. "the only words I know in English is stuff like "ballet", "tap", "jazz" etcetera..."

"so, now one knows how to speak English?" I said, it slowly dawning on me.

"I'm sure we can get our point across," said Nagihiko nervously.

"I can speak English," said Ikuto, speaking up.

"really?" said Amu, with such a worshipping look on her face it was no wonder he smirked. He said in a perfectly accented English voice, "excuse me, sir, do you know where the catnip aisle is?"

We're doomed.

* * *

Sorry, this chapter is split into two parts, so a lot of the stuff I promised for chapter 23 has been moved to 24.

OK, as a reward for being such nice readers, I'm giving you a 13-page-3,000-word chapter. Lol just kidding, but this thing sure is long 0.0; then again, what better thing do people have do on planes?

I actually ended up researching a lot for this chapter, too, because I like things to be politically correct in my fanfictions. I now know a LOT about Japanese air travel XD. So I give thanks to the Narita international website and wikianswers for flight routes, airline names and times, etc. ^__^

Oh, and Rima's birthday and blood type are made up, but Nagi's is the official one released by Peach-Pit. They didn't give any interesting trivia on poor Ri-Ri-tan :'(.

And I know they're sometimes called Il and El, but when I watched season one they were called Iru and Eru and even when they switched the subbing companies for Doki! and called them something different they'll always forever be Iru and Eru to me. Sorry 0.0;

I drew a picture with my pen-and-coloured-pencil Skillz with Rima, the secondary characters, and their charas :) there's a link to it at the top of my profile (.kimi).

As always, thank you for the reviews! I love getting my ego stroked~ ^^ and thank you to my regulars and new readers (in alpha order because I'm obsessive that way):

Ale-ChanLikeyCookies

Ikuto-fan-Neko-san (who, BTW, has a great Amuto fanfiction. Maybe if enough people read it, neko-san won't end it yet *cough cough hint hint*

KawaiiLilHannah

Luvbrrs

Magical.

Meow120123

Saicy

Smallvillegirl2

Suzuka Harukaze

xladykelly101x

Youko-Kuramas-Kitsune

Yume Dust (hai hai I'll bring on the pervertedness, Yume-chan XD)


	24. His First Kiss? What about MINE!

The John. F. Kennedy Airport. Who is this Kennedy guy? What did he do to have an airport named after him? 

There are a lot of American people. Well, duh, but it's oddly unsettling, like you're a black dot in a bunch of white dots (that's a crappy analogy, but that's what it feels like).

"why does it look like noon?" I said, glancing outside. "I thought the flight was fourteen hours?"

"international dateline, dummy," said Nagihiko, who was right next to me.

"I guess we should get a hotel or something?" suggested Amu. it made us feel better to have an actual plan, instead of just wandering around like cows lost in a field.

"OK, let's go!" said Yaya, hopping up and down.

"no," said Utau firmly. "before we do anything, we're going to the nearest bookstore to get a Japanese-English dictionary."

The nearest bookstore that sells only dictionaries and thesauruses. Who knew there was such a place? 

"excuse me?" said Utau, sounding really weird trying to talk English. "you.. know... where... language... book... is?"

"okay, okay, okay," said the guy, talking rapidly in English. "what language?"

"Nippon." Utau switched back to Japanese.

"what? I haven't heard of a language like that."

Kanon was watching, and without any warning I character changed.

"Japan." I told the guy, in my Kanon-perfectly-articulated-voice, in British-accented English.

"OH!" realization dawned on his face. "Japanese-English dictionary! Why didn't you just say so? Right this way!"

"where," said Nagihiko to me, as we followed the guy, "did you learn to speak English?"

"I didn't. I guess Kanon did."

"I remember every word I hear someone say," said Kanon, back at her throne on Nagihiko's shoulder. "so I know a bit of English now."

Hotel

Amu took ten minutes to look up all the words, and then went up to the front desk at the hotel and said in a hilarious accent and very slowly, "can... us.. book... rooms... for... six?"

"uh, okay," said the clerk, eyeing us. "tourists?"

"ish." I said.

"how old are you?" said the clerk, looking at me. "all children under twelve stay for free."

"she's nine," lied Ikuto, and I kicked him.

"cheapskate," muttered Utau.

Finally, somewhere I can sleep

The two rooms are joined together on the inside by a door. One is for the guys, and one is for the girls. Amu has already found the lock on the inside door and is happily telling everyone who will listen that she's going to lock it as soon as we go to bed.

"I don't wanna sleep with Kiddy King, he snores," whined Ikuto. "can I sleep in your bed, Amu-chan?"

"no." she said, not even turning around.

"you're disgusting," muttered Tadase.

By now it's three o'clock, American time. But that's way different in Japan and I'm way too tired to do the math.

"I'm sleepy," I murmured, and fell onto my bed, full clothed, and fell asleep. Before drifting off entirely, I heard Nagihiko (who was in our room because Tadase and Ikuto were having a scream match) mutter, "she is like a little kid, isn't she?"

"not really," laughed Amu. "she knows too much of what's going on to be a little kid."

"I was talking about sleeping patterns."

"really? I'm ish tired too. We all are. It's like eleven o'clock at night back in Japan or something."

"meh, why not get sleep? See you later."

"bye."

Later. The clock says 3:30 in the morning but it's prolly broken anyway.

None of us can get to sleep because we're so dang jet-lagged! We were all asleep all day and now we're all just sitting in the guys hotel room, eyes wide open. Ikuto's the only one sleeping, but cats sleep during the day anyway. Damn the international date line. Sigh.

Later

Amu got up and said, "I'm bored. come on, let's at least play a game or something."

"like what, Amu-chii?" said Yaya, grinning. "seven minutes in heaven? Spin the bottle?"

"what? No!" said Amu, panicking.

"sounds good to me... let's start," said Ikuto, surprising us all by waking up.

"wait! No way! Those are really bad games and my dad would kill me if he found out!" she said.

Ikuto leaned over and whispered right in her ear, "who said anyone had to find out?"

"why are you doing this to me?" she said, glaring at Yaya.

"because it'll pass the time," said Yaya patiently. "oh, and since I thought it out I don't get dared. Ok? Ok."

"that's not fair!" I said. "besides, I should withdraw too because I'm too cute and innocent and childish to be doing this stuff."

"don't worry, Rima-chan, I like them young," said Ikuto.

"we know!" said everyone at the same time, and he rolled his eyes.

"and you're not innocent," said Nagihiko. "you're the demon reincarnated."

"thanks. You want to see a demon... look in the mirror!"

"god knows you spend enough time doing that!"

"god! You bicker like an old couple!" said Amu, jumping in.

We glared at each other, me looking pissed off, him amused.

"OK, here's how it goes," said Yaya, sitting on the end of Tadase's bed, presiding over us all. "you all get in a circle, and I shut my eyes and throw this string." She held up a red ball of yarn ("hey! I was playing with that!" said Ikuto but no one noticed.) "Whoever I point to, you have to go with whoever I say and kiss them for whatever amount of time I say."

"so, pretty much you're presiding over our pitiful social lives," I muttered, and Nagihiko laughed. "that sounds about right." said Yaya. "now, here I go!" she shut her eyes and threw the yarn. HA! You'd love me to say it landed on me, right? no, it didn't. Tadase leaned out of the yarn's line of fire, and Ikuto couldn't resist the flying cat toy anymore and so he swiped for it and began rolling it on the ground.

"hee hee, it landed on Ikuto!" said Yaya, having way too much fun being matchmaker. "I dare you to kiss Amu-chii for-" but before she could finish her sentence Ikuto pushed her up against the wall and began making out with her for the longest time I cold have imagined possible. There was dead silence the entire time, and what we could see of Amu's face looked more and more like she had gotten whacked over the head with a frying pan as the time went on. Finally, Kukai cleared his throat, looking highly nauseated, and Ikuto and Amu broke apart. Then there was more silence. I fidgeted and finally went "Are you okay, Amu?" to break the silence. She was still against the wall and wearing the exact same frying-pan expression.

"um..." she said, but still didn't really manage anything.

"might have gone too far there," said Ikuto conversationally and Tadase said, "you think?"

Utau glared at Ikuto. "waaaay too far. You lose your yarn privileges."

"what? No! I like that yarn."

"well, too bad, because I'm still using it," said Yaya, looking excited beyond belief. "ready? Here I go!" she shut her eyes and threw the yarn. It hit the opposite wall and Ikuto reached for it, but Utau slapped his hand back and it fell in her lap.

"Oooh, the idol got the yarn!" said Yaya, bouncing up and down. "ok, ok, ok. Who should I choose? This is a hard one."

"they're all younger than me!" said Utau. "some of them are ish cute, but what if someone's watching?"

"you mean like paparazzi?" said Amu. "Japanese idols don't pull much weight here. it's all about people like Demi Lovato and Miley Cyrus."

"isn't Cyrus a tree?" asked Utau. "and why's Lovato half?"

"I think you mean Cyprus, not Cyrus. Forget it," laughed Amu. it seems she was recovering, although she was still slightly pink.

"I know!" said Yaya. "you actually would look really cute with Kukai. I dare you to kiss him for only three seconds, because I'm nice."

Kukai looked rather uncomfortable. "You don't have to."

Utau had her head tilted to one side as she said, "no, no that's okay. I always thought you were pretty hot anyway." And then she kissed him lightly for three seconds. Kukai didn't have such a scary reaction, but his eyes were slightly unfocused and wide. Utau smirked triumphantly and said, "OK, matchmaker. Send it far away from Ikuto this time."

And then... Yaya threw it. And it hit Nagihiko's head. "Ow."

Yaya's eyes gleamed. "yes!"

Ikuto held up a hand. "hang on. Yuiki, can I do this one?"

"okay," said Yaya, looking more excited than ever.

Nagihiko looked back at Ikuto, unflinching.

"you think you can beat my record?" said Ikuto, his grin getting wider. "minute and a half?"

"uh, that's okay," he said.

"So, you're chicken?"

His eyes flashed. "you're so on."

"okay. Rima."

"what?" I burst out, feeling the heat rising to my face.

"oh, come on and be a sport. I just want to see if Fujisaki can beat me."

"NO!" I shrieked. "that's my first kiss you're bartering away!"

"first?" echoed Yaya. "what with all the fanboys..."

"hey, you won't be the first," said Amu icily. "guess who mine just got given away to?"

Nagihiko still had the crazy competitive light shining in his eyes. "Sorry, Rima, but I need to beat the stupid cat."

And then... he kissed me. Gently. My eyes were wide open, probably wearing the hit-over-the-head-with-a-frying-pan look like Amu, and I saw everyone turn away so they didn't have to see me like this. The heat got deeper as, for some reason, he kept pressing harder. I was about to slip through his grip so I clutched his arm for support and I could feel his long hair brushing my cheek. All I could feel was his mouth against mine, locked in his arms, until he gently pulled away. "two minutes. Beat that, Ikuto."

I focused on the rug so I didn't have to meet anyone else's eyes. It wasn't because he liked me. It was Yaya's fault... or Ikuto's... who cares. I would kill them both, except for the fact that they had both caused the best thing in the world to happen to me. Amu was at my side in a minute, hugging me. "don't worry, Rima. And stop hyperventilating."

"um," I mumbled, still looking at the rug.

Ikuto wasn't looking particularly anything at all. He just winked at me. What is he and Amu thinking?

Amu and I both sat down against the wall with our arms folded.

"welcome to adulthood," teased Nagihiko, and I smiled slightly. Nothing's changed. I hope not.

"look at them... they're both blushing. Aren't girls funny?" snorted Ikuto. Utau kicked him again. "Ow."

"not as funny as guys," snapped Amu. "a bundle of laughs."

"but you love us anyway."

"my ass. Why do you think there are lesbians?"

"okay, she got us there."

"lighten _up, _Rima!" said Nagihiko, suddenly surprising me by hugging me. "we're not getting married."

I gave him the Death Glare but then started tearing up.

"Rima, it's no big deal... you don't have to cry," said Amu.

"she's faking it," grinned Nagihiko.

Damn.

Later

"NO WAY!" yelled Amu. "I WANTED TO BUY THAT!"

"too bad," said Ikuto. "I got it first."

"well... I've got Boardwalk! Ha!" she moved her Monopoly marker down the board and stuck out her tongue at him.

"get that tongue back in your mouth where it belongs," said Ikuto. "oh, and I see where you've landed there. One hundred fifty dollars, please."

"you filthy, perverted nasty..."

"keep those flirty words in your mouth, too," said Ikuto.

"ne ne, Utau-chan, I'll sell you Kentucky Avenue for St. James..."

"are you kidding, kid? I'm a shrewd businesswoman. You can't get away with that, Souma."

"oh, and Amu, I own Connecticut," I said, pointing. "fifty dollars, please."

Nagihiko said, "yeah, but you're on my railroad. Two hundred dollars, thanks. Served!"

Oh, and if you haven't found out what we're doing yet, yeah. We're playing Monopoly. We found this board game under one of the hotel beds and we've been up for hours playing it.

Tadase has been nickel-and-diming Yaya for landing on Baltic and Mediterranean avenue, and Ikuto and Amu have been having the Expensive Estate Wars. Both of them want to own both Boardwalk and Park Place. So far, Ikuto has Boardwalk and is piling more and more houses and hotels on it.

"I guess we should go to sleep," yawned Yaya. "truth or dare next night."

"what?" I said, and Amu said, "when hell freezes over."

Yaya grinned. "whatever. anyway, let's go to... bed..." and she fell over onto the ground.

Ikuto yawned and got up. "yep, I'm getting more wide awake. I'll be out in the hallway hunting mice if anyone needs me, okay?"

"y-yeah," I yawned. "ugh... I hate jet-lag. I'm just going to sleep here on the floor. Amu-chii... get the pillows..."

And I pulled on Nagihiko's arm.

"what is it, Rima?" he said, looking at me.

I put my head on his shoulder and shut my eyes. Before falling asleep, I saw him brush my bangs out of my eyes, his hands lingering on my face, and then everything was obscured and before I knew it I was asleep.

* * *

WHOOO!!! Yeah! I had way, way, WAY too much fun writing this highly perverted chapter XD. GO GO AMUTO! (readers: hang on! What about Rimahiko? Hellooo?)

While writing this chapter, I only listened to two songs: Fly on the Wall by Miley Cyrus, and La La Land by Demi Lovato. Don't get me wrong, I hated Camp Rock, but I totally own up to being a fan of tween pop . and they're really, really catchy songs. Lol.

Anyway, I'm sorry if the fluffy romantic scenes were ish crappy, because I myself have never been kissed (urk... that's embarrassing to admit...) and this is my first time writing a romance fanfiction~. And yes, now I'm a total Kutau fan. -_-;

Well, as always, thank you for reviews and reviews are love ~-*hearts*-. also improvement suggestions are appreciated because, well, like I said before... .


	25. His Ghostbuster Entrance

This Diary Belongs to Nagihiko Fujisaki. KEEP OUT! THAT MEANS YOU, MOM!

The hotel room in America. We've only been here a day and I already miss Japan and all the Japanese. 

I'm writing this with Rima on my shoulder, so that's why the weird handwriting.

I kissed her. what is wrong with me? When did I turn into such a Tsukiyomi Ikuto? Speaking of which, I think he's caught on to how I feel about Rima.

So it's all HIS FAULT!!!

Somebody remind me of this the next time I feel like kicking him.

Anyway, back to the best thing that happened to me. It was all Ikuto's fault. I just can't help it; guys are competitive (or so my lovely feminist mother tells me). Anyway, she was looking so frightened it was cute. Isn't that a bad thing? Probably. Anyway, from what I can remember, I leaned in and started kissing her, and I felt her grip my arm, and all I could think was: YES. HA! HA! HA! (much like Tada-gay during a character change). Which is kind of scary when you think about it.

I'm so messed up.

Later

I'm still not tired enough to go to sleep, and then Amu came up to me with that look in her eye that means she's going to wheedle something out of me.

"Nagi," she said, staring at me intently, as if she wanted to burn a hole in my head. "You like Rima."

"do I?" I said innocently, but I could feel my heartbeat going off the scale.

"god, I can hear your heartbeat from here. let me tell you something. Rima actually..."

There was a crashing noise form outside, and an unfamiliar voice screamed, "what? Why are you wearing cat ears? EEEK! IT'S A DEAD MOUSE!"

"oh, _crap_," said Amu, "I better go see what the hell that hentai-cosplay-pervert has done now. See you."

Rima actually WHAT? Dammit, what? Did she go to jail or something?

Anyway, the Ikuto walked in looking as guilty as a three-year-old who's eaten his mom's shoe.

"Oh, hello Nagi. Good, I wanted to talk to you."

"doesn't everyone?" I grumbled.

"No, I just wanted to say, Welcome To Adulthood and you like that shrimp, don't you?"

"she's not a shrimp!" I protested. Rima twitched a little in her sleep, and I hastily dropped my voice.

"well, she sure looks like a shrimp to me. You know, I was considering her but Amu-chan's way cuter..."

"you love Amu, don't you?" I accused.

He was silent, and then said, "yes, I suppose I do."

I looked at him, horrified. "I wasn't serious about that."

"well, I am," he sounded bitter. "she rejected me."

"she _what?" _

"when I was seventeen. I told her. she said she didn't like liars."

I sighed. Clearly, Ikuto didn't understand Amu's 'cool and spicy' attitude that well. "that's because she was flustered, and didn't know what else to say."

There was so much pathetic hope in his eyes that he looked like a little kitten that's reaching for a fishy treat just out of its reach. "really?"

"okay, now you're freaking me out."

He snorted, then got up and fell back onto his bed, still in is day clothes. "night." Then he shot up again. "oh, yeah, I still need to tell you something."

"what?" this guy is weird.

"You love Rima, don't you?"

"don't tell Amu."

"don't tell her about me and you've got a deal."

"deal."

"anyway, when are you going to tell her?" he said, raising his eyebrows.

"not soon."

"she might confess some day. I'm warning you." since when was this guy the expert on love?

"yeah, right. you have to tell Amu soon."

"why?" he asked.

"someone might take her if you don't watch out."

"as if I didn't know," he murmured before he fell back asleep.

"Nagi?" Rima mumbled in her sleep. Damn, she looks so adorable when she sleeps. Her cheeks were pink, her gold hair was swirled around her head like an angel and her mouth was slightly open...

NO. I WILL NOT. THAT'S JUST SICK, TO DO THAT WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING.

Of course I won't. I would never, ever.

Five minutes later

What kind of sick person am I? I actually did.

She didn't even wake up, either. Just smiled slightly in her sleep. So cute!

All of a sudden I felt sleepy, and so I leaned my head on top of her blonde hair and fell asleep.

Rima's Diary~~~Bala-balance! RiRi pwns! Don't you dare read if you value your life.

I had a really funny dream. First it was that KusuKusu came back, and said, "Rima?"

"yes?"

"there's hope, Ri-Ri-tan. I can come back, maybe, maybe!"

"how?" I cried.

"the key... Nagihiko."

"how's Nagi the key?" I said. I said the word 'Nagi' with such love in my voice I hope with all my hoping that I didn't say it out loud **(A/N: no such luck, RiRi XD)**.

KusuKusu smiled happily, the way she used to. "keep laughing, and keep listening to your heart _and _your brain. Kanon-chan knows what she's doing, but I've taught you that not everything has to be practical!"

"I was right!" I cried. "it's my golden compass theory, right?"

"you sure are close. But something else has a factor if you want to save me."

"what?" I said eagerly.

"what have you been looking for all this time?"

"The Embryo." I said, disgusted. Part of Tada-gay's plan for world domination, the embryo, part of Lulu's plan for her mom, the embryo, the key to Ikuto's freedom from Easter, the f---ing embryo. I've heard enough about the selfish people who want it.

"it's Nagihiko, too," KusuKusu said softly. "don't let him go, Rima."

Then she was gone, and I thought I was just about to wake up when I felt something close to my face. _What is that? _I thought. And then I had a funny dream about Nagihiko. I can't remember it very well, but he was smiling.

Hmmm.

OH, DAMN. NO MORE LOVESICK TEENAGER, RIMA.

Later

Then I woke up, and Nagihiko was awake... watching me sleep... OH, GOD!

"why are you watching me sleep?" I asked him rather grumpily (I'm not a morning person).

"because you look unbelievably cute and angelic when you sleep," he said honestly, and I felt the heat rise up and stain my cheeks again.

"whatever," I mumbled. "where's Amu?"

"talking to Ikuto." There was a knowing look in his face. You know, one of those i-know-something-you-don't-know, neh-neh neh-neh-neh-neh looks. I crawled towards the door and pressed my head to it. "don't' give me that look," I told Nagihiko. "It's completely my business."

I heard murmuring voices, and then Ikuto saying, "Amu... one question."

"o-ok," yep. Red as a fire truck. Even worse than before.

"that day... four years ago."

"which one."

"the day Tadase confessed." I had never heard him like this. Not teasing, not sleekly oblivious, something else. It suddenly hit me this must be how he talks normally.

"oh... yeah?"

He sighed. "I told you I loved someone. You asked, and I said it was you, ne?"

"right... I remember now..." Amu sounded a bit apprehensive.

"was I serious?"

"no, I know you weren't!" she felt totally sure of herself, and I felt like slapping her.

His voice dropped dramatically. "would you take it seriously if I told you again?"

The 'cool and spicy' was creeping back into her voice. "I don't like liars. I remember telling you that, too. I know you aren't serious, Ikuto!"

There was a _thud. _No, no, he didn't slap her if that's what your thinking. Actually, it sounded like hands against wallpaper. "dammit, Amu! he yelled. "don't' you get it? I _am _serious! I always have been!"

Then I heard footsteps... the footsteps of...

Kukai?

"hey, should we get breakfast no- Amu? Ikuto? WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH MY GOD!!! MASHIRO, FUJISAKI, KING? ANYONE? IKUTO IS TRYING TO RAPE HINAMORI!"

Nagihiko jumped up, and Tadase and Yaya came running in from the other room. Nagihiko tried the door. "the handles sticky. Stupid Kukai, chewing gum."

"stand back." I said. When he didn't I shoved. "BACK!" I yelled. "I've seen the cops do this on TV. One... two..."

"Rima, what are you do-"

"three!" I kicked the door. Nothing happened.

Nagihiko tired the door again, and grinned. "nice job, Ri-Ri-tan. You fixed the door."

I was about to retort with something sarcastic but at that moment, we all ran out the doorway all at once, like in the opening of _Ghostbusters_. In fact, I had to resist the urge to say, "who yo gonna call? GHOST-BUSTERS!" but that's completely irrelevant.

Ikuto had pinned Amu to the wall, and Amu had on the oh-no-I've-been-hit-over-the-head-with-a-frying-pan face on again. Ikuto was character changed, and Kukai was standing there with his jaw hitting the floor and holding his pass card.

"Tsukiyomi Ikuto!" Tadase accused (**A/N: ok I'm sorry but heloooo Tada-gay we all know what his name is! You can just cram it and let them continue their hotness without the commentary!) **

"Oh, hello," he said, as if you often walk in on... er... ok do I even have to describe it? this is a T-rated fic, you know! Anyway, with Ikuto temporarily occupied with Tada-gay, Amu quickly slid out from underneath Ikuto, still blushing fiery red.

"don't explain," I said quietly. "I know everything that's going on."

I could tell she was holding back her tears in front of the boys. "ne, Amu-chan, Yaya-chan, we have to go get dressed for breakfast. See you downstairs." And then we all went into our room. As soon as we did, Amu sure enough threw her self onto her bed and began to cry crazily. Yaya sat next to her, the comfort box in hand (comfort box = box we filled with Kleenex, Pocky, and the movie _The Cat Returns. _We got the good dubbed version of it, too, the one with Anne Hathaway).

I had this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach, so I said, "put in the movie, Yaya-chan, I'm just going to the bathroom."

Later

Oh, my god.

Oh, my god, my god, I'm going to DIE.

I've gotten my period. (**A/N ok sorry hopefully it's all girls reading this and not guys because it might be weird for guys to read stuff like that)**

It's all red. And disgusting. And that thing in my stomach? Yeah, it's getting worse. It's hurts like bloody hell now.

"AMUUUU!!!" I screamed from the bathroom.

* * *

ok sorry no time to discuss chappie i have to eat dinner bai~^^ REVIEW


	26. He Really Does Never Feel Awkward

Anyway, continuing where that left off...

Then Amu yelled from the other side, "what is it, Rima? are you hurt?"

"damn straight! I'm BLEEDING!"

"how did you cut yourself?" said Amu, freaking out as usual. "is there glass on he floor or something?"

"n-no, I didn't cut myself, it's just bleeding _there_ for no reason and..." and then I started blathering on like an idiot, because I rarely ever see my own blood and it was kind of freaking me out. Actually, I'm not going to describe it here because whoever reads this would probably get their appetite ruined.

"...and my stomach hurts!" I wailed.

"oh! God!" said Amu, realization dawning on her face. "THAT kind of bleeding! Why didn't you just say so? I'll get some from my bag."

I was too in pain to point out I _had _said so.

Later

I rolled onto the bed going, "Owwww..." and pretty much just wallowing in my miserableness.

"aren't you really late?" said Amu nervously. "you're supposed to get it at, like, twelve."

"then again, she is as flat as a board," observed Yaya.

"thanks a lot... Ow. Dammit. When will it stop?"

They looked at each other. Finally, Amu said, "oh... about five... days?"

FIVE DAYS???!!!!

Then Nagihiko knocked on the door. "I've been hearing Rima screaming since five minutes ago. What the hell happened?"

Amu called back, "oh, she got her-" and then I threw a shoe at her to make her shut up.

"got what? Oh, screw it, I'm coming in."

"you're so dead," I hissed.

"it's just Nagi," said Yaya, exasperated.

I went back to my wallowing as Nagi walked in. "ok, so what happened? Don't tell me it was nothing, Kukai was all for calling the cops to catch the murderer."

"there was glass on the floor in the bathroom and Rima stepped on it," Yaya wildly invented, and I glared at her out of one eye.

"so why has she assumed the fetal position and is clutching her stomach?" said Nagihiko, his brain making that horrible whirring noise he only makes when 1. he's solving a Rubik's Cube, or 2. he's trying to figure out how to make my life miserable.

"stomachache," I mumbled. It wasn't really a lie, because I can't lie. I've become highly skilled in white lies, though, if I tell myself enough that it's the truth.

"where?"

"none of your business, but why do you think they call it a stomachache?" Amu stared out the window, trying not to burst out laughing.

He lolled against the wall. "because you never know... you could have stomach cancer... god, don't you watch the depressing medical commercials?"

"no. it's right here," I couldn't lie about where it was, so I pointed to the spot right below my waist.

"you idiot, Rima, that's not a stomachache, that's cramps. Late bloomer, huh?"

"NOOO!!!" I screamed, and threw my other shoe at him. "YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!!!"

"what's so terrible? You know, in grade five everyone still thought I was a girl so when they sent the guys to one classroom and the girls to the other I had to go with the girls and watch this really scary video..." he quoted, " 'there's a very special natural time for every woman at a very special natural time of the month...'"

Amu burst out laughing. "I forgot about that!"

"YOU ALL SUCK!" I yelled, and buried myself under the covers and continued to wallow.

Yaya jumped on my bed. "wake up, Rima-tan!"

"fuck off and fetch me the ibuprofen."

"no bad language, now," said Nagihiko from the wall. "we all need to get down to breakfast before the hotel closes the buffet table."

"I'm not hungry."

"if you don't come down," he threatened, "I will tell all the others in excruciating detail about _why _exactly you're wallowing in your own self-pity upstairs and starving yourself."

Amu whistled. "you wouldn't."

"I really would."

Under a threat like that, I wasn't about to stay upstairs.

Downstairs at breakfast

Tadase was like, "you're not eating anything, Mashiro-san. Are you feeling all right?"

"I feel horrible," I grunted.

"you mean you're sick?"

"yep, sick of having to listen to your gay voice."

Tadase caught the hint and shut up, and Nagihiko mouthed, "PMS much?" at me when everyone was looking the other way.

I'm going to kill them ALL. I need a sharp object. Or blunt. Blunt is good.

UGGGHHHHHHH.

And Ikuto has eaten so much fish n' chips I'm surprised he hasn't grown gills. Fish n' chips is this weird British-slash-American food that has deep-fried potatoes and deep-fried fish. YES, they COOK their fish. Americans are so weird!

And Kukai and Yaya are eating hamburger after hamburger. It's not even funny anymore. You'd think they hadn't eaten since the Jurassic period.

And they lady just keeps grinning and giving them more and more food! They'll come back to Japan looking like round uniform-clad beach balls, probably. actually, I think the lady keeps giving Ikuto more and more food that she spiked so that maybe he'll get drunk and she'll get laid.

I guess we were all surprised that Ikuto's stomach is like a black hole.

Ha.

Noon

The Beach Balls have finally stopped cramming their pie holes, and so Yaya stood up and said, "we are NOT going back upstairs. Let's go sightseeing!"

"and do what?" I said. The cramps by then had let up slightly but I still wanted to take a blunt object and puncture the Beach Balls, aka my friends.

"come on, Rima-tan! We're in New York! The statue of liberty, Broadway, and all the designers like Chanel even more expensive then they are back in Japan! I wanna be a part of it, New YORK, New YORK!"

"stupid," I said, but put my coat on and followed everyone outside.

"got your bus cash? Let's go."

Bus stop

Yaya gave the guy 200 yen, and he said, "what's this?"

"money."

"hey, these are yen. We only accept US and Canadian dollars. Eh, stupid?"

Yaya glared at him.

So then we had to walk (stomp in Yaya's case) to the nearest money exchange place and get US dollars.

Stupid.

"I like bullet trains better," said Amu.

And so we were off sightseeing.

Amount of people that have hit on Ikuto: 8

Amount of people who have randomly come up, pinched Tadase's cheek, and gone 'you're so cute!': 2

Amount of people who have tried to pickpocket Tadase because he looks like a wimp: 2

Amount of times Kukai's whined, 'are we there yet?': 17

Amount of people who have said, 'oh, say something in Chinese for us, honey!': 6

Amount of people who have said, 'dammit, someone lock up that stoned Asian kid! (aka Yaya)': 1 (some irritated old grandpa).

The Statue Of Liberty

Nagihiko bored us all with some trivia about how it originally belonged to the French but they sold it and a bunch of other crap I can't remember. Ikuto remarked, "she's hot, but a bit too fat," and Utau kicked him and called him a womanizing chauvinist (Utau later told me she, too, copied this off one of Nagihiko's vocabulary sheets lying around).

Amu just said, "I don't get it. what's that thing on her head?" and I kicked the statue and knocked off a bit of Liberty's toe. Then we ran away before we got busted by the cops (we've already seen them handcuff two drug dealers and a guy who dropped a firecracker in the street).

Wow, I'm having fun already.

some random street I can't read the name of

when Kanon had finished giving me the you-just-killed-a-national-monument speech, an old guy came up to me and said, "hey, little girl, want some weed?"

"I'm not little!" I told him indignantly in English (I've memorized this English phrase because so many people have said, "discount for the little kid!" or "how old's the little girl?")

He laughed and said, "I'll give you a cheap price for the pot, come on!" and Nagihiko came up and punched him in the face. Then we both dragged the unconscious body down an alleyway and stuffed him in a garbage can.

"what was that for?"

He looked the other way. "he pissed me off."

Then we both joined back up with the Beach Balls-plus-Amu-Ikuto-and-Utau and pretended we hadn't just knocked someone out and hidden the evidence.

Broadway

Me and Nagihiko (everyone else was too chicken. They were hanging behind) asked the man at the counter for tickets to this Broadway show. It's called, "Annie" or some other annoying English word.

"sorry, little girl," he said to me. "all sold out."

"I'm not little!" I repeated in English, and he laughed.

Then I suddenly elbowed Nagihiko and started to sniff.

"hey, don't cry now!" he said, alarmed.

"n-no, it's just I r-really want to see this show," I started fake crying, and Nagihiko hid his grin and said, playing along, "it's okay, maybe we can buy some tickets off some DANGEROUS DRUG DEALER IN A DARK ALLEYWAY."

"you don't want to do that!" said the guy, looking panicked. "well, you seem really upset, soooo..."

So he sold us tickets. HA. Sucker.

Inside

Ok, I admit the show might be a little good. It was all about some orphans and one escapes and stuff. There were some really catchy tunes, like "it's the hard-knock life," and halfway through I started humming it and Nagihiko snorted quietly. But he can't tell the others, or else I'll tell them that I caught him singing 'Tomorrow' under his breath during intermission. Also, Amu kept laughing at really inappropriate times, and the audience kept looking at her funny. I heard one mutter, "Asian tourists" under his breath.

After the show

Amu, Yaya, Nagihiko, and I walked out dancing and humming all the show tunes, and Ikuto muttered, "if anyone asks, I don't know you and you're just musical freaks who are stalking me." But then Utau started singing one of the songs in her (sadly much better than my) voice and Ikuto mumbled, "what the hell". And so all of us linked arms and danced down Broadway like in the movies singing like freaks.

"if you tell anyone at home about this..." Ikuto hissed, but then even he began to enjoy acting mentally retarded in a foreign country and started singing a song from "Annie". Nagihiko and Utau are good, Ikuto, Tadase and Kukai moderate, but Amu, Yaya and I suck. But who cares?

Back at the hotel

As soon as we got off Broadway, we immediately shut up and pretended we weren't idiots.

"I'm hungry," I moaned.

"that's because you didn't eat anything at breakfast," Nagihiko reminded me.

"yeah, but..." I couldn't think up a good excuse, so I glared at him. "and I'm tired. Dancing makes you tired. Give me a piggyback ride."

"no way."

Five minutes later

Nagihiko carried me about fifteen blocks.

Impressive.

"It'll build discipline!" I told him.

"or it'll build the idea that you're selfish and spoiled," he replied grumpily.

Amu just snorted, and then groaned because Yaya seemed to be getting fatter and fatter every step and Yaya bribed her into carrying her.

"lunch," said Utau. "where's the nearest restaurant?"

Tadase pointed to this big red building with two yellow arches on it. "how about there?"

"sounds good to me," Amu said.

What does the sign say? meh, can't read it. McSomething-or-other.

At the golden arches place

We all ordered cheeseburgers, except for Ikuto, who ordered another giant bucket of fish n' chips.

I watched them make the fries. HOLY CRAP! They dump them into this giant tub full of batter and deep-frying stuff. But it smelled heavenly.

Later

I finished the first cheeseburger in half the time as everyone else, and then ordered another cheeseburger.

"wow," said Ikuto. "and you think my stomach is a bottomless pit."

"I didn't have any breakfast."

A bit later

But after the fourth cheeseburger everyone agreed to go back to the hotel and eat the free food there so that I don't empty my credit card.

Hotel

The hotel people are really scared of us now. I ate a _lot._ I only stopped when I moaned, "Owwww. It's back. Ow, god dammit!"

"serves you right for eating so much," Kukai told me. "let's go back and play Monopoly for a bit."

Hotel room

Ikuto now owns both Boardwalk and Park Place, after leaning over and biting her ear. While she was preoccupied with that minor problem, he reached over and snatched the estate card. "Poor Amu-chan just got robbed," he smirked, buying a gazillion hotels.

Then Tadase happened to land on Park Place, and has to cough up 1,580 dollars.

Nagihiko owns all the orange estates now, and Yaya landed on them and also had to fork over.

Later

My 'stomachache' (read: menstrual cramps) has let up, and so Kukai is making us all go swimming.

"but I don't know how to swim," I whined.

"yes, you do... remember?" Tadase reminded me (see chapter 10).

"I still don't think I'll be able to." I said.

"it stops in the water, Rima," Amu mumbled.

"OK! I can go swimming!"

Swimming pool

It seems I might has well have skipped out, since me and Yaya just sat in the shallows and read gag manga. A whole bunch of girls walked by and flirted with Ikuto, and Utau and Amu both looked ready to kill them.

Good times.

"are you Japanese tourists?" some girls asked Yaya and I.

"hai," I said. Her and her friends squealed. "that's yes, right? ohmigod, I LOVE Japanese stuff! I absolutely LOVE anime and manga! Say something else in Japanese!"

"anatagata wa baka." I said, and they all squealed again. I had said, "you are all stupid," but I don't think they knew that.

And so we ended up trying to teach them Japanese, which wasn't very successful, and Amu came by later and said in Japanese, "that's great, Rima! you've made some friends!" and started laughing. Then they all said, "ooh, I know what she said! She says it's great you made some... both? You made some both? What?"

"no, she means 'tomo' as in 'friend,' I explained in English. "that's nice, Amu-chan. Are you going to beat up Ikuto's fangirls now?"

"why would I do that?!" she shrieked, going red and hiding her clenched fist behind her back.

"hmmm," I said, continuing to read.

Later... again

We all sat in our hotel room near and sang songs from "Annie" really loudly into the heating vents to piss everyone off and to pass the time. Then I said kind of wistfully, I'm hungry again... but can we not get American food?"

"what do you want?" said Nagihiko, looking like one of those indulgent fathers who buys their little daughter toys.

"can we get Japanese food?"

"in America, Japanese food means sushi," Utau pointed out.

"I don't care," said Amu, 'I agree with Rima. I miss all the raw fish and rice. I don't suppose you can get taiyaki anywhere near us."

"whatever," Yaya said, getting up. "let's go get sushi! Yay!"

We all tucked our Shugo charas in their eggs (except for Yoru, who was off eating insects or some other gross thing). And we went off in search of a sushi bar.

Later

It was Tadase who spotted it. he pointed "there!" and we saw blissful Japanese printed on the door. Thank god! My own language! No more deciphering English! And so we walked in and Utau tried speaking Japanese to the guy at the counter, and he started jabbering about how they don't often get a lot of actual Japanese people in here, and stuff. But he was speaking my own language! Phew!

And so then, because we were so happy, we ordered a bunch of stuff. Namely:

1. a big box of California rolls, dynamite rolls, tuna rolls and salmon rolls

2. a big box of various sashimi

3. miso soup for each of us

4. we even ordered tako. That is to say, octopus. That's how homesick we were.

5. oh, and we bought three boxes of green tea

6. the Japanese chef pitied us so much he gave us a bunch of steamed rice in a box

7. and our total was over one hundred dollars. Luckily, Utau was too hungry to complain about paying for us with her idol's paycheck.

We all staggered back to the hotel with our giant takeout boxes, and the lady behind the desk looked at us strangely. But we were too hungry to care.

Even Utau, who can eat three bowls of ramen without feeling full, looked rather alarmed when I ate through one box of sushi by myself. I only stopped when the 'stomachache' came back again. Nagihiko and Ikuto just looked amused.

That night

We were slightly tired, which is proof that we're almost on American time now. But we still were pretty wide awake, so Yaya made us all play Truth or Dare.

If she asks me anything about Nagi... I'm so, so dead.

Sigh... Truth or Dare... stupid Yaya.

And so, we all sat down in a stupid circle (except for Ikuto, who was sleeping on the floor again) and Nagihiko started.

"Yaya," he said, "truth or dare."

We all knew she was going to say, "dare." Duh. That's just Yaya.

"I dare you to drop that piece of raw fish out from the window." He pointed to a dead slice of tuna from a piece of sashimi.

And so she actually dropped it! it fell and hit some guy coming back from the liquor store on the head, and she ducked out of the way and we all watched him yell at some girl a couple floors below us.

Next to Nagihiko happened to be me. Great. I zoned in on Amu. "truth or dare?"

She also ended up saying dare. I knew why. Little Amu has way too many secrets that we'd wrench out of her.

"I dare you to kiss Ikuto," I said apathetically.

"what? That's not fair! Why can't I drop projectiles out the window or something?"

"unless you'd rather switch to Truth?" I asked innocently. "he's asleep, anyway, so if you do it carefully enough he might not wake up."

"damn you," she said through gritted teeth, and tried to kiss him on the cheek. Sadly, cats are light sleepers so instead Ikuto woke up, made out with her (Kukai looked ready to get a basin) and then grinned. "and this is from the girl who says she hates me."

"it was a dare!" shrieked Amu, bright red again.

"your welcome," I said.

Next to me was Yaya. Oh, f---. "Rima-tan, truth or dare?" she said. "and if it's a dare I'll make you make out with Nagi for seven minutes."

"this is just turning into last night all over again!" I sad. "well, now I have to pick truth, stupid."

"that's what I was going for," sang Yaya. "truth: do you like Nagi?"

"what the hell?" I yelled. "that's practically the same thing!"

"not really, Rima," snorted Nagihiko.

"aren't you feeling the least bit awkward? She's asking me to either kiss you or tell everyone how I feel about you, which is ish the same thing when it comes down to it!"

"actually, I rarely ever feel awkward ('that would explain a lot,' I muttered darkly)... except for this one time I tripped over the edge of my kimono when I was doing this random dance and then I fell and that was kind of awkward..."

"ok, get on with it!" said Yaya. "do you like Nagi, yes or no?"

There was dead silence, and everyone looked at me. I can't lie, or else I would have said no. I can't say yes, because, well, that would just suck. I remember playing this one time with my cousin and I asked her if she liked this guy, though, and she had said...

"chicken," I said monotonically.

"what?"

"chicken. You have three chickens in Truth or Dare. You can use one to get out of telling the truth or doing a dare."

"what?" Amu shrieked. "if I had known about chickens, by first _and _second kiss wouldn't belong to the hentai cosplay neko!"

"how about I take your third, too?" Ikuto said, leaning in, and Amu slapped him.

"that's right, slap me like a bitch," he said, but Amu ignored him and I said breezily, "oh well. Your turn, Amu-chan."

She sighed irritably. "Kukai, truth or dare."

"dare."

"I dare you to... um... oh, wait. I dare you to run down to the lobby, steal the front desk lady's feathery hat, and run back upstairs and give it to us."

"OK," he said, and being the irritating great athlete he is, he ran like hell down to the lobby. We heard a shriek and a 'hey!' and he ran back up with a giant sunhat with a big purple feather stuck in it.

"nice job!" said Amu, clapping. "now I dare you to throw it out the window!"

It went and hit the guy again, who was walking _back _to the liquor store for more beer. After that, it was Ikuto's turn. We all knew what was coming, but we were all still nevertheless surprised when he said, "Amu, truth or dare? Bearing in mind you'll know what I'll make you do if it's dare..."

"truth," she said, glaring at him.

"did you secretly, in the depths of your cold heart, like that kiss?"

"served," I said under my breath, and Kukai and Nagihiko, who were both next to me, laughed.

"c'mon, Amu-chan. I want to know by next year," Ikuto said. Tadase just looked ready to take out a gun if she said anything that wasn't 'NO WAY!'.

"chicken."

"if you chicken, I'll kiss you again," Ikuto threatened. The teasing look was slowly draining out of his face, which was in my opinion a bad sign.

"fine, YES! HAPPY?!" she said, and, much like me (see chapter 1) she proceeded to fall over onto the ground, where she glared at the ceiling as if it had done her a great personal wrong.

"yes, very," he said, the grin widening. "ok, now it's Utau's turn."

Utau started talking immediately, which must have meant she'd already given this a lot of thought. "Nagihiko, truth or dare?"

"truth," he said in a bored voice. "oh, wait, I sense you're going to ask about a blonde-haired girl."

"wow, you're psychic! OK, truth: do you like Rima?"

"chicken."

"I knew you were going to say that. That's just about as good as a confession," she said, smirking. Actually, when she gave that evil smirk, we could suddenly all see her resemblance to Ikuto. Creepy.

"what if I just didn't want to make things awkward?" he said, widening his brown eyes innocently.

"you said you never feel awkward."

"I might," I said snidely.

Utau sighed, disappointed. "ok, Souma, you go."

"now I can get Amu back for that dare!" he said, smiling like the devil. "Amu, truth or dare?"

"dare, and if it involves anything to do with kissing I'm going to bed," she said grumpily.

"ok, I dare you to flash us."

"THAT'S HORRIBLE!" she snapped. "DO YOU ALL WANT ME TO BECOME A PROSTITUTE OR SOMETHING?"

"I do!" volunteered Ikuto but everyone else was too busy snickering.

"come on, Amu. do you really want to use up one of your chickens on something petty like your panties? Hurry up."

"I'm never daring you again," she said, and quickly flipped up her skirt. It actually wasn't that exciting. It would be more funny if she was wearing days of the week underwear or something but she wasn't.

"I'm so daring her to do that again," said Ikuto, just having the time of his life watching little girls be provocative.

"I hope you DIE," she said, as she sat down in a ball with her limbs so tightly knotted it was highly unlikely that she would unravel them for several years (**A/N: yes, this is a line from Deathly Hallows. I'm just running out of witty lines, OKAY?)**.

"I'm going to bed," I said randomly, and walked into the girl's bathroom to change.

Five minutes later

When I came back out in my pyjamas, they were still sitting there bickering. "am I the only one that's tired?" I asked.

"no," laughed Kukai. "Yaya's asleep. I guess you'll have to carry her to bed."

I tried to pull her, but it didn't work. Then I remembered she had been stuffing her face all day like a teddy bear with a stuffing fetish. "she must have gained ten pounds," I said in horror, looking at her. "Nagi, you do it."

There was silence for a minute.

"what?" I asked my suddenly quiet audience. "what did I do?"

"why are you calling Nagi by his nickname now?" said Amu, getting a sick grin on her face not unlike Ikuto's.

"what? Wait! No! I didn't mean to call him that, it was an accident. YOOOUUU shut up!" I said accusingly, pointing a finger at Nagihiko, who's brain gears were whirring again and probably ready to say something nasty.

"I didn't say anything," said Nagihiko, pulling the wide-innocent-eyed look. "here, I'll carry Yaya."

Ikuto, Amu and Utau were all giving me evil smirks.

"have you ever looked in the mirror while doing that?" I asked Ikuto and Utau. "it makes you look like twins."

While they were distracted by their family resemblance ("holy sh--!" said Utau) Amu said quickly, "I guess we should go to bed," intending to get back inside her room and lock the door safely against the hentai cat-eared cosplay pervert.

But the lock has been broken by Tadase, because during a character change he banged the door and the little fiddly-diddly things inside the doorknob fell out. We haven't decided to tell the hotel staff, because they might pull an American and sue us.

2:00 in the morning

It seems the you-know-what doesn't stop at all during the night, and neither does the 'stomachache' because I woke up in the middle of the night because of it. and then I saw a dark shape.

"Amu-chaaan..." the dark shape whined. "Tada-gay's snoring again. Can I sleep in here?"

"no."

"please?"

"no."

"too bad. I guess I have no choice then."

Ikuto pushed her over and there was a small shriek. "Ok. Now I can sleep. Aw, you still keep a really high temperature. Night."

And he was instantly asleep. How the hell do cats do that?

Anyway, me and my diary can have a good laugh at Amu.

* * *

Ladies and gentlemen, we have broken a new record! FIFTEEN PAGES AND 4,801 WORDS!!! XDXDXD

And I am announcing my evil master plans for the rest of the fic now. Pretty much, when the gang (oh, god, now I'm making the Guardians sound like the Peanuts or something) get back to Japan, you'll see Kodomo no hi (children's day) festiveness. After that, I'm making the guardians have a formal (answer: because I feel like it. also, it's an opportunity for fluff).

Anyway, thank you as always for the reviews~ whenever I see one, I get all excited and immediately open up a word document and start writing the next chapter. REVIEW MOAR! *insane* ~^^


	27. His Stupid Fire Department Jokes

Morning, 7:30 am

Everyone else is still sleeping, but I got woken up from a scary dream where I was drowning in a bucket and Amu was yelling at the others to throw a life preserver but they weren't doing anything. Nagihiko and Kukai were laughing their asses off and Tadase was humming 'it's a hard-knock life' to himself. Only when I woke up did I realize that I wasn't dreaming. Tadase was humming loudly in his sleep.

Then I saw Ikuto, who was in our kitchen reading the newspaper.

"you look like a senile old grandfather," I observed.

"thanks," he said idly, turning the page.

"you really like her, don't you? what an insensitive old squid."

He didn't deny it, just looked at me seriously for a minute. Just when I thought he was going to say something wise and sage, he said, "insensitive old squid? Man, where do you get _your _insults? And yes, Amu-chan is an insensitive.. old... squid..." he started laughing crazily.

I rolled my eyes, and stomped off to the bathroom to count down the remaining four days until I could stop wallowing in my misery.

When I came back out, Yaya suddenly pounced on me. "there you are, Rima-tan! You are going to stop writing in that diary and start having some fun with your FRIIEEEENNNDDDZZ."

Freak.

Amu is going to stick this thing under lock and key so that I can have 'fun' with my 'friends'.

The plane, four days later

FINALLY, Amu gave me my stupid diary back. Now I can write up a storm for the way back home! Back to lovely Japan with my lovely mother and even my lovely loony teacher Nikaidou!

Rima... you're happiness is freaking me out.

Stop bursting my bubble, Nagihiko. And what have I told you about writing in my diary?!

Just thought I'd put in my two cents worth...

Hnrrghh, two cents can't buy anything, Nagihiko.

It's an expression. Aah, forget it. My genius is wasted on you.

Good! Go back to working on your little essay then!

And then he returned to writing his little analyzation of Romeo for English. It says something like, "_Romeo is a character that quite often speaks poetically, following..." _

Then he covered it up. "no copying, sneak."

"I just wanted to see! Besides, I'm doing Juliet. Isn't Hanasaki-sensei going to be suspicious if I say that Juliet speaks poetically?"

"not really... _all_ the characters speak in rhyming couplets." He rolled his eyes.

I sighed grumpily and continued playing hangman with Amu. She finally guessed what the phrase was: You're Stupid.

Later

The flight attendants came around with breakfast: an egg-bacon-and-potato wrap, or a sausage-and-English muffin wrap. The airplane is big fans of saran-wrapped wraps.

I can't wait to get back to the Land of the Rising Sun and eat a proper breakfast.

We're over ocean again, so I can't tell what time

I've started flicking through the TV channels, and I found this super cool television show with Japanese subtitles. It's called "American Idol" and it's HILARIOUS how some of the guys on there can sing! One guy yodeled like a sheep, another sang in a voice like a five-year-old, and another one sang with a southern twang like she was trying to be country. How sad... but still funny.

After that, it was a show called "America's Next Top Model." The host, Tyra Banks, is almost funnier than the sheep-yodeler. Her voice rises and drops dramatically when talking to the supermodel trainees, much like Ms. Psycho.

Aaaahhhh, I love American television.

Later, I can see land in the distance! Eureka!

I fell asleep again... yep, right on Nagihiko's shoulder. Again. He might as well tape a pillow to his shoulder or something by now. When I woke up, he smirked at me evilly.

"you shut up. I can't help it."

"or can you?"

"in your dreams."

"you do _not _want to see what _my _dreams look like." And then I blushed. "oh, the chibi tomato's going red again. Go and tell the fire department it was a false alarm."

"shut up."

HOMEEEE!!!!!

Finally! I was so happy I even grinned and hugged Nagihiko, who went, "god, she really must have missed Japan if she's hugging me." But smiled weakly.

"no more English! No more otakus!" chanted Yaya (the Americans reading Ouran High Host Club across the aisle glared at us).

Kanon was hugging the airplane seat, and fidgeting like crazy. Even KusuKusu seemed to be kind of wriggling with happiness in her box. And Ran was going, "YAY! YAY! OUT OF THE METAL PLANE!" crazily, flapping her pom-poms.

Narita Airport

After a mild hold-up of arguing over Nagihiko's real gender, we finally got out of security and into the knot of our crazy moms. Tadase's loony uncle was there, and so was my mom, Mrs. Hinamori and Nagihiko's mom. Scary. They were all in a knot gossiping about creepy housewife things, I suppose. My mom seemed a bit out of it, like she always was, but Nagihiko's mom started interrogating him about American girls.

"did you sleep with any of them? Because if you did, and they call to say their having your child..."

"no," he said dully, with the she's-given-me-this-talk-before-look.

And then Amu's dad was crying, which was oddly creepy. He kept saying something like, "all Papa's little sparrows are back!" that made me feel a bit upset because my father was still in France and as far as I know they'd never both give time out of their busy schedules to get to the airport. Amu was rolling her eyes, and suddenly I looked over at Ikuto and Utau, who were just standing there. I remember faintly Amu telling me that the Tsukiyomis really didn't have any family anymore, and I felt something odd. It was a minute before I realized I was feeling sorry for them. This was somewhat dropped when Amu's crazy mom turned on him. "it's Ikuto-chan! How are you doing?" and then Amu's poor dad went crazy over the boy overload. "YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WENT ABROAD WITH BOYS, AMU-CHAN!" he yelled. (if only he knew.)

"Yup," said Ikuto, and her father glared. "how old are you? do you smoke?"

He looked at Amu's dad, bored, while Amu's mom yelled at Amu's dad, and then he went, "see you, Amu-chan," and left with Utau. (Amu's dad yelled, "chan? CHAN?" he shouldn't be that familiar with you!").

And then, when we left, my mom and Ms. Fujisaki exchanged an evil look. What are they planning? Moreover, what's EVERYONE planning?

When I was in the car, I finally asked my mom, "so, mom, what is it?"

She jerked out of her reverie. "what?"

"what was the whole space-cadet thing?"

"o-oh. Well..." she took a deep breath. "your father called two days ago. He wanted to take you with him to France. There's a boarding school there if you'd like to go, he said. And, uh... I tried asking for a divorce."

"tried?"

"he didn't seem keen on it. we just need some time apart, to do our own thing, and we don't want to tear our family apart, Rima."

"I'm sixteen, mom," I said. "I'm not eleven anymore. For gods' sake, I have a time of the month now, and..."

"whaaat?!" she said, skidding over. and then I got treated to the hormonal talk again.

Home Sweet Home.

* * *

Shorty but goody chapter... I think.

Hey, I hope everyone watched 77! My favourite line? When Ikuto comes out and Tada-gay's all "TSUKIYOMI IKUTO!" and Iku-chan's just like, "hey. I've been shacking in her room" XDXDXD. PRICELESS, MAN. I wish they'd get out the full version of the new ED/OP out though, but it doesn't come out until APRIL 28TH. I'M DOOMED!

And I'm such a sucker my heart actually did kind of break when Tadase gave her the sad puppy face... I was just like, "NOOO!!!" but then I saw the evil Ikuto smirk and the Tadamu moment was over =_=0.

And when Ikuto was just like, "it's better if no one gets near the black cat of misfortune," I CRIED. No, seriously. My parents passed me the tissue box. Actually, that line is now chalked up with Jacob's line from Eclipse (where I also cried): "The clouds I can handle. But I can't fight with an eclipse". Yeah, If you haven't guessed by now, I'm a Team Jacob (of course, Whiny Bella doesn't deserve either of them, but man Jake's hilarious). I gots the t-shirt to prove it!

Gah gomen, this has turned into, like.... the sidebar where I post all my complaints about the latest episode.


	28. His Stupid Formal Jokes

Next morning

I woke up at noon, thanks to jet-lag, and walked into the kitchen to see my mom just sitting there talking on the phone. Since when did we even _have _a phone?

She kept going on, all, "oh yeah, I totally agree, Hanako-chan." It was a minute before I realized she was talking to Nagihiko's mom. Oh horrors! What are they plotting?

Maybe just housewife stuff.

After breakfast

When I had finished off my breakfast, my mother finally sighed and said, "well, Rima-chan's finally up and finished her breakfast at NOON so I'd better go," she paused for a minute, and then laughed. "still in bed? Gotta love jet-lag. Well, bye."

She hung up and smiled. Since when did my mother SMILE?

"so, Rima-chan, I have a pretty kimono you can wear for Kodomo no Hi, OK?"

I choked on my orange juice. I had forgotten all about Children's Day! I was going to go with the guardians to... fly carp on kites. Whee. But Tadase had whined and guilted us into going.

Later

"this isn't even meant for girls anyway," I grumbled, walking beside Amu and Nagihiko.

Nagihiko took a deep breath and said in his irritating know-it-all voice, "actually, in 1948, the government decided to change the name from Boys' Day to Children's Day because Hinamatsuri (Girls' Day) wasn't a public holiday like Boys' Day was."

"oh, shut up." I said, still in a bad mood. Nagihiko kept grinning, though, which I found highly annoying. Actually, he was kind of freaking me out because he was wearing a kimono which made him look even more like a girl. When I told him this, he screwed up his face and then said in a higher, mellower voice, "ne-ne, Rima-chan, girl enough for you?"

I looked back, aghast. "you sound like Nadeshiko."

"I had to talk like that for YEARS and YEARS on end," he said. "pity me."

I pitied him. Amu just laughed and said, "I always thought your girl voice sounded kind of fake. Your character change voice, though..."

"that's just scary," I interjected and Nagihiko grimaced.

Carp-flying, oh horrors.

We all launched our horrid carps into the air, where they waved back and forth like wacky inflatable arm-flailing tube-men with a melancholic air. some little kid took a dart and chucked it at Tadase's flying carp-kite, which deflated with a sound like someone cutting the cheese and hit the ground.

Then I started laughing crazily, and then Yaya started laughing crazily. Amu just looked confused, and Nagihiko laughed a little behind his hand and said, "here, Hotori-kun, I'll help you get it off the ground," and then broke into insane laughter like me and Yaya. I've never heard him laugh before. It was a nice sound, and I wondered why he didn't laugh more often.

Home

As soon as I walked in, my mother was on the phone again with Nagihiko's mom, and by the sounds of it Midori Hinamori too. I was glad to see her having fun, but I still get the feeling Mrs. Fujisaki and my mom are plotting something. Creepy. Anyway, as soon as I walked in, my mother said I got mail (what is she, Microsoft Outlook 2007?). anyway, it was a pretty fancy envelope and my first thought was that Tadase was being gay with the stationary again and inviting us to some raffle ticket event. I thought my suspicions were confirmed when I saw the Seiyo High stamp in the corner, but as soon as I opened it, it was a...

FORMAL. Seiyo has a spring formal for grade elevens and I don't even know it?! and it's in a month?! And their releasing the invitations right NOW?

And you have to dress FORMAL?!

Oh, this is going to suck. Bad.

Five minutes later

When I told my mom, she got all excited. She was like, "oh, honey, how exciting! Are you going to get a dress?"

I said, "I think I'll fake sick."

She glared at me. "I won't let you."

Scary bananas.

Later 

Amu and Yaya were both online, something that rarely happens. They both suddenly instant-messaged me.

AMUCHAN4: rima-chan! Did you get it? did you get it, huh?

BALABALANCE: ?

LOLLIPOP-YAYA-YAY: the gay stashunari? I gots it!

BALABALANCE: o, the stashunari? I got that too.

AMUCHAN4: I don't think that's the way you spell it.........

NFUJISAKI22: it's not. It's 'stationary.' I didn't know Yaya couldn't spell either.

Dammit! Stupid Nagihiko was online!

AMUCHAN4: did you get the formal invitation yet?

NFUJISAKI22: Yep. Yesterday, actually.

LOLLIPOP-YAYA-YAY: so we can al go, rite? Soo happy yayayay! We shud go get dresses rima-tan amu-chiiiiiii!!!!

BALABALANCE: T_T

NFUJISAKI22: you often make that face in real life, too.

BALABALANCE: }:

NFUJISAKI22: whooo, temperamental.

AMUCHAN4: kyeesh break it up lovebirds

-BALABALANCE has logged off.-

AMUCHAN4: Rima? OK, I was kidding!

NFUJISAKI22: she's just pretending to log off. She's still lurking.

BALABALANCE: you suck.

NFUJISAKI22: ^^

LOLLIPOP-YAYA-YAY: anyway we should go this wknd ok ok?

NFUJISAKI22: all this talk about dresses is shunting me out of the conversation...

BALABALANCE: HA HA!

NFUJISAKI22: :|

AMUCHAN4: ok sounds good WE'RE MAKING YOU COME W/ US RIMA-CHAN!!!

NFUJISAKI22: oh, she's not going to love that.

BALABALANCE: stop reading my mind dammit11111

NFUJISAKI22: were those supposed to be exclamation points? You forgot to hold down the shift button.

BALABALANCE: shut up111111111111111111111

NFUJISAKI22: funny, all the anger and frustration seems to be taken out of Ri-Ri-tan's sentences when she uses ones instead of exclamation points.

BALABALANCE: how do you type so fast and use big words at the same time?

NFUJISAKI22: I was actually paying attention in keyboarding 101, and not cheating by looking at the home row, unlike some people.

BALABALANCE: where did everyone else go?

AMUCHAN4: just witnessing your cute conversations :3

BALABALANCE: (:#

LOLLIPOP-YAYA-YAY: aah what the hummaha is that supposed to be rima-tan?

AMUCHAN4: it looks like an angry dude with ice cream on his head

BALABALANCE: it's darth vader! Isn't that ovius?

NFUJISAKI22: that's "obvious", dummy. And no, it wasn't.

BALABALANCE: :'(

NFUJISAKI22: aw don't cry Darth Vader is kind of like an angry dude with ice cream on his head... no not really never mind.

BALABALANCE: I wasn't crying at YOUUUUU I was crying at

BALABALANCE: something.

LOLLIPOP-YAYA-YAY: wah I hav togoto bed now bAI-beE!

AMUCHAN4: yeah I have to actually study instead of monopolizing the computer... lol nagi I got that word off one of your vocab sheets :P

NFUJISAKI22: hey I need those!

BALABALANCE: hmhm I guess I better wallow in my own self-pity

NFUJISAKI22: you do way too much of that, it must be unhealthy.

-AMUCHAN4 has logged out-

-LOLLIPOP-YAYA-YAY has logged out-

At this point, I kind of panicked because now it was just me and Nagihiko. There was silence for a minute. Finally, I couldn't stand it anymore, so I said:

BALABALANCE: they aren't just pretending to be offline, are they?

He replied right away.

NFUJISAKI22: No, I don't think so. Why?

BALABALANCE: I don't know I was just trying to make conversation

NFUJISAKI22: Well, you fail at making conversation. Lol. You'd fail at being a geisha then.

BALABALANCE: a what?

NFUJISAKI22: you know, those people who wear the kimonos and

BALABALANCE: yeah yeah I know but WTH? Geishas are like prostitoots so yeah

There was more silence. Finally I went:

BALABALANCE: hello?

There was a minute until Nagihiko replied.

NFUJISAKI22: oh I'm sorry I was too busy laughing at your suckish spelling. ProstiTOOTS? Can't you spell at ALL?

Once a teenage boy, always a teenage boy.

NFUJISAKI22: anyway, it's 'prostitutes.' And geishas aren't prostitutes. You're confusing them with "Geisha girls". "Geisha girls" were Japanese women who worked as prostitutes during the period of the Allied Occupation of Japan. They almost exclusively serviced American GI's stationed in the country, who incorrectly referred to them as "Geesha girls". The term is a mispronunciation of the word geisha.

BALABALANCE: I almost didn't get any of that. Anyway so why would I fail at being a geisha?1

NFUJISAKI22: Geishas had to make conversation as part of their occupation. Duh.

BALABALANCE: T_T wow. Oh god my mom's yelling from downstairs ouch

NFUJISAKI22: oh yeah my mother's been on the phone with Housewives&co. all day, it's really starting to freak me out. isn't one of them your mom?

BALABALANCE: uhhuh . I think their plotting something

NFUJISAKI22: I agree. Wow you're actually showing insight into this?!

BALABALANCE: T_T or she just could be going loony over formal

NFUJISAKI22: you haven't seen loony about formals until you've met my mother. She's convinced I'm going to get three billion girls over for an after party.

BALABALANCE: neh, that sounds more like Ikuto.

BLACKCAT80: oh? What was that about me?

BALABALANCE: you're taking stalking amu waaaaaayy too far.

BLACKCAT80: I know.

Then we all had to log off to get rid of Ikuto.

Damn cat.

* * *

god, the chapters used to be getting longer and longer, but now there getting shorter! wah!

oh, and sorry it took so long to update, i uploaded this onto doc. mangager last night, but then i had to go to a sleepover at our local aquarium (it's a girl guide thing, girl scout to you americans. yess i'm in guides, four bucks for a box of cookies!) and so i got home at about 9 in the morning and was like, "HO SNAP! I GOTS A CHAPPIE TO UPLOAD!" and so yeah :3

i have to go watch Sugo Chara! Doki episode 78 now, and so you can see my fun rant about it in the next chapter ^^ bye-bee~!


	29. His Character Transformation

Argg I haven't put the date in a while. Um so it's June 1st today!

I was sleeping, having a nice dream where Kanon drowned in a bucket of maple syrup, when I woke up to Mr. Loony Next-door-neighbor mowing his lawn with his machine that's a cross between a chainsaw and a hairbrush. It makes this big clanky moaning noise and then he's at it all day – mowing the lawn. Loony.

Then, my phone started vibrating on my bedside table, propelling it over the edge where it hit Kanon in the head. _Rima-chaaaan!!! _she said, fake crying. _Dooshite? WHYYY?? _I ignored her and picked up and answered my cell phone, and then immediately regretted it.

"HI-HI, RIMA-TAN!" screamed Yaya, making me hold it away from my face so I didn't suffer brain damage. "WE'RE GOING SHOPPING, DESU DESU! WE'LL PICK YOU UP IN FIIIVE MINUTES, ME AND AMU-CHAN and Nagi," she added in a low voice.

"why's Nagihiko coming?" I growled into the phone.

"because Amu-chii made him come."

HINAMORI SHALL DIE.

Five minutes later

I barely had enough time to get Kanon in my bag and get dressed before Yaya came stomping in going, "NE, MS. RIMA'S MOM, DO YOU HAVE ANY SNACKS?" and Nagihiko laughing awkwardly as my mother fussed. I ran downstairs like crazy before my loony new-and-improved mother did anymore damage.

"Hi, Amu-chan," I greeted her, and ignored everyone else as a subtle hint not to encourage my mother. Sadly, my friends are all be numbskulls (a Nagihiko word) and they ignored me and kept begging for snacks. And thus that's how everyone ended up sitting at my kitchen table eating muffins. Since when did we even HAVE a kitchen table? Where is my mother unearthing (another Nagihiko word) all this stuff?

Then my mother was all to Nagihiko, "I've been talking to your mother lately and blahblahblah," and Nagihiko gave me an I-told-you-so look that I returned with a Death Glare. My mother watched this exchange with a silly grin on her face. What is with all this plotting, dammit?

Then the phone rang while we were all chatting about which stores we would go into (Nagihiko, being a guy dragged along by Amu-mania, was looking bored as hell).

My mother picked the phone up (probably expecting it to be Nagihiko's mom) but instead a crease formed between her eyebrows and I panicked. Yep, it was my dad, who was still going on about me living with him. "no," I heard her whisper into the phone, "not now. Later..." and then Nagihiko silently looked up and followed it all. I wouldn't be worried if it weren't for the fact that the Evil Mad Genius is too observant for his own good and would figure out something in seconds, and so as soon as I began to hear the silent whirr I said, "OK, let's go now! Bye, mom!" and practically dragged Amu and Nagihiko out the door (my mother looked scandalized at the idea of me dragging Nagihiko) with Yaya bobbing in tow.

Later

Thankfully, Nagihiko was silent and didn't bring up anything about my meddlesome father who wants me to get a proper education. We just stopped at this scary boutique where a grinning salesperson said, "HELLOOOOOO. Can I help you?" and I muttered, "they get in your face until you need them, and then their off on their coffee break. Convenient."

Yaya made a beeline for all the dresses straight away, and Nagihiko yawned a little and sat down. Reluctantly, I plunked down beside him and he smiled slightly. "aren't you going to try on dresses, Rima-chan?"

"when hell freezes over." I said and he bit back a grin and sweatdropped. "so you're not going to formal," he said, and there was this sad note in his voice.

"my mother is trying to force me," I said testily.

"Yay."

Dress #1, Amu. 

Amu came out in green. Nagihiko said slowly, "turn around, walk back into the changing room, and get out of the garbage bag."

So this is why Amu wanted him along.

Dress #1, Yaya

Yaya came out in a mass of pink dress, much like Glinda from the Wizard Of Oz, and said, "does it look cool?"

I sang quietly, "we're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of all..." and Nagihiko snorted. "I'm actually going to have to disagree with Rima on this one. By all means, look like a cake at formal," and so Yaya bought the Glinda Dress. She even bought a wand to go with it. loony.

Dress #2, Amu

She came out in a yellow dress, and me and Nagihiko said at the same time, "no."

Dress #3, Amu

Black and frilly. I said the frills fit more of her 'cool and spicy' personality than anything else.

"is that a bad thing?" she said nervously, and Nagihiko went on Disney-narrator mode. "we just want Amu-chan to be Amu-chan," he said sappily and she went back reassured.

Finally, the black one is the first one in the 'maybe' pile.

Dress #4

She came out in a frilly white one.

"Jeez, we're going from Black Alice to White Alice. What are we, Ali Project?" I complained. Nagihiko eyed the dress interestedly. "it doesn't really suit you, Amu-chan."

"it looks like something Barbie's bridesmaid would wear," I quipped. Nagihiko widened his brown eyes innocently and said, "I thought it looked like something you would wear, Rima-chan."

"Wha-" I started, and Amu's eyes started glowing creepily. "are you thinking what I'm thinking, Nagi-kun?"

"oh, yes," he said, smirking, and the EVILNASTIES dragged me into the changing rooms and made me put it on! NASSTTTIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When I came outside in it, I looked in the mirror and shuddered. It had a halter top with a floor-length full skirt. "it looks like I'm getting married. Can I take it off now, _please?_"

"aw, listen to that, she said please," said Nagihiko, who was staring at me so intently you'd think I was one of his 1000-piece jigsaw puzzles.

"no," Amu ordered. "stay. Good girl."

"bark, bark," I said sarcastically, and Yaya popped up over my shoulder. "inu-chan-Rima-tan! Hee hee!"

"What do you think, Nagi?" said Amu, turning around.

"I think she looks like an angel," he said honestly, and my face went red. Bright red.

"oh? What's this? Chibi tomato?" said Nagihiko over my shoulder, smirking. Amu cracked an evil grin. "ne-ne, Rima's embarrassed."

"you suck," I muttered, carefully lifting up the hem of the dress. "you're not going to leave me alone until I buy it, aren't you?"

"yes. Buy it. Yaya orders you," Yaya said creepily. In truth, I secretly liked it, but I wasn't about to tell anyone else that.

"fine," I huffed, and bought the dress. Amu bought her black frilly one, and Yaya bought her Glinda Dress. All the way home, me and Nagihiko sang Wizard of Oz songs to piss Yaya off (we had seen the Wizard of Oz in New York on Broadway when we were on our musical spree).

Then I asked Amu, "is your mom driving us home?" and she stopped dead. "what? I thought _your _mom was driving us home!"

Later

We've all ended up walking home. Twenty something blocks. It was horrible. And I was the lucky person chosen to carry Yaya when we realized she wasn't going to shut up.

Yaya's house

Yaya's was the closest, so after she had gone home that left me, Amu, and Nagihiko to continue the one hundred mile trek home. The friendship triangle, whee.

We ended up playing "would you rather" which brought up the interesting question: would you rather be too hot or too cold?

"too hot," said Amu.

"too hot," said Nagihiko.

"too cold," I said.

"you'd rather die of hypothermia or frostbite than third-degree burning or sunstroke?" said Nagihiko, being a know-it-all.

"eh. Probably."

Amu said, "OK, I go next. Rima-chan, would you rather kiss..."

I cut her off. "it's truth or dare all over again, isn't it?"

She kept going. "Joe Jonas or Nagihiko?"

"eurgh, Nagihiko," I blurted out, before I could realize what I had said. Nagihiko's eyebrows went up. "I don't know whether I should be insulted because I've just been compared with that freak from Camp Rock, or flattered..."

"shut up," I growled, and he grinned again. "you're just upset that the cat's out of the bag."

"NOOO!!!" yelled Amu but we all knew it was too late as Ikuto's head came down from the trees.

"you know, we cats find that very insulting. Cats should never be put in bags. And Rima, I can't believe you chose Mr. Kabuki over Joe Jonas. Puhleeeze!"

"Joe Jonas is ugly!" I argued, going bright red.

"hmm, Nagi's right, you do blush easily like Amu-chan," he said, making us both resemble radishes.

"can you _go away?_" said Amu, exasperated now and not angry as usual.

"no."

Nagihiko met Ikuto's eyes briefly and nodded.

"OK Nagi, can you explain why he needs to stalk us?" snapped Amu.

Nagihiko sighed. "Yuto Shizunabe is quite weaker than Tsukiyomi Ikuto, because Ikuto's had a Chara longer." Damn it, I had already forgot about that stupid guy. I thought he was just a one-time appearance. "If I were a strategist." ("which you'd love to kid yourself you are," I muttered), "I'd keep close to the people who are fighting him. Also, hasn't anyone noticed that Ikuto hasn't been going on any Death Rebel rampages since staying so close to the guardians?"

"and no one from Easter caught him while he was shacking in Amu's room," I volunteered.

"RIMA!" Amu yelled and Nagihiko whirled on her. "in your _ROOM?_"

"funnily enough, that's the words I used for it, too, Rima-chan," said Ikuto, still hanging down from the tree.

"it makes sense," said Amu slowly. "so you're not stalking me?"

Ikuto leaned in closer to her and said, "why do you sound disappointed?"

She flushed and sighed irritably. "well, here's my house. See you guys."

"what about Ikuto?" I asked.

He suddenly character-changed and hopped up onto Amu's balcony.

"NO!" yelled Amu but he just sat there, grinning. "what? It's just so that I don't get controlled by the violin. Do you want me to turn into an X-egg collecting zombie again?"

Then Amu had no choice. Hee hee.

Oh, crap, I thought. Alone with Nagihiko again. Except for Kanon, who was still on Nagihiko's shoulder. Sometimes I wonder why she doesn't just live with him and be done with it.

"how far away is your house?" I asked.

"pretty far. Actually, it's pretty close to yours."

I tripped. _"what?" _

"you didn't know that? Yep. About three blocks away."

"but you live in that creepy patch of woods..."

"it's creepy?" he laughed. Then he was silent, and he suddenly stopped me.

"what?" I asked, hoping that it wasn't what I thought it was.

He slowly and deliberately moved in front of me. I tried to see what it was, but he kept me back.

"it's Shizunabe, isn't it?" I said, a sinking pit in my stomach.

"Shhhhh," he said, his eyes flashing, and I thought grudgingly that at least he could be aggressive when he felt like it.

There was silence for a minute, broken only by my hyperventilating, and then suddenly Nagihiko snapped, "Temari!"

"what?" I gasped. "she's out of her egg?" then light started to pour from all directions, and Kanon soared into my hand. "it's a Charanani!" she whispered.

_Whack._

A blade sunk into the wall and inch above my head, and a naginata almost killed Yuto as he sailed out of the way.

"Nagihiko?!" I screamed and a figure in a kimono attempted to kill Yuto again. "did he get you, Rima?" Nagihiko snapped.

"Temari!" I said, my brain on overload. "she hatched!"

"well done, captain obvious!" said Temari grumpily from inside Nagihiko.

"Rima!" said a voice, and I saw Kanon hovering beside me. "let's go!"

"and do what?" I asked and Nagihiko said, "RIMA, let ME deal with this!"

"no!" I yelled back stubbornly and suddenly I character transformed. Actually, it was pretty annoying to character transform. They always have the big light and you have to be all like, "watashi no kokoro! Unlock!" which is pretty embarrassing.

Suddenly I landed on the ground in a blue-and-purple kimono. It was short-skirted, and the sleeves were separated from the main body of the dress. And my hair was up.

"I did it!" said Kanon, getting the smug look Nagihiko gets when he receives one-hundred-percent-plus-extra-credit on a test.

"you can Charanani with Kanon?" said Nagihiko, turning around. Oh horrors, it was a pink kimono. Me and Nagihiko looked like kimono-clad twins. Yuto took advantage of that to swing his scythe and I deflected the blow with something in my hand. It was a... a...

Bamboo pole? Brilliant. Nagihiko gets to use samurai weapons and I get to use a stick of wood. The hell?

Yuto's face was as blank as ever, which made me wonder if he was a robot. But he wasn't just any robot. He was a killing robot, like in that creepy movie with Will Smith in it! I gritted my teeth and ran at him. His eyes widened in surprise as I suddenly took my hand, dropped the bamboo pole, and slapped him smartly across the face.

"would you just STOP IT?" I yelled at him. "you're being BLOODY STUPID and quite personally we couldn't care less if Ikuto's not being controlled by X-egg energy."

Yuto quickly recovered and suddenly gave an unpleasant smile and said quietly to me, "I know your weakness. Do you want him killed?"

For a minute I was going to ask him who "_he" _was, and then with a dawning horror I realized it was Nagihiko. He would kill Nagihiko if I did _anything_.

_No!_ yelled Kanon, and on instinct I backed away.

"don't fight him," I begged quietly to Nagihiko, who looked utterly disturbed at my sudden lack of sense. "don't."

"Rima, he wants to _kill you_."

"I know," I said, on the verge of tears. "can we just... finish this... some other time? Please? _Please,_" I said, widening my eyes and trying to keep all the unshed tears form falling out. Amazingly, he softened. "fine."

And then he promptly picked me up bridal style and jumped into the air.

"put me down!" I hissed.

"you're in no fit state to be walking," he said serenely, and he changed back as we ran. He gestured to a giant gash in my shoulder, which was bleeding through my uniform.

I began to scream, and he put a hand on my mouth. "shush, I'll fix it."

As soon as we stopped, I realized where we were. We were under the bridge, by that hill that's near Amu's house.

"let me see it," he said. I glanced at my shoulder, and realized what he wanted me to do. "NO."

He sighed. "just pull your collar down. I won't see anything. or would you rather it get infected, or worse knowing Shizunabe?"

I gritted my teeth and carefully pulled the edge of my shirt down so that it didn't expose anything else and his fingers got to work on it. great, he can sing, dance and be a doctor too. Whee.

A figure hovered by his shoulder, next to Kanon. I recognized it as Temari. After a moment of silence, she squeaked suddenly to me, "maybe you're not such a bad queen after all. You tried to save Nadeshiko-chan."

"that's not my name," Nagihiko mumbled but smiled slightly. I didn't know why he looked so happy at having his fingers covered in my blood (I kept thinking, _Vampire!_) but maybe that was just because he had one of his Shugo charas back. Before I could stop them, a tear slid down my cheek, and I started crying.

"isn't it a bit late to start crying?" said Nagihiko with a feeble attempt at bravado. "the worst part of the cut is healed. Don't look at it!" he added hurriedly but it was too late. It was the deepest cut I had ever seen. I might even have a scar.

I took a deep breath but continued crying. "it's not just that... it's everything... Ikuto being controlled by the violin... Amu.... Shizunabe... even stupid Tada-gay!"

He laughed feebly. "Tada-gay? Nice nickname."

Suddenly, Temari floated over and hugged my good shoulder. "you protected Nadeshiko-chan well though!" She squeaked cheerfully. Did she have a one-track mind or something?

I smiled quietly. "he pretty much saved himself." While we had been talking, Nagihiko took the edge of his shirt sleeve and pulled. It ripped quite cleanly into a length of fabric.

"what are you doing?" I said, blushing as he wrapped it around my shoulder.

"this is what they teach you in first aid if you pay attention, Ri-Ri-tan. I remember you and Yaya playing hangman when they taught us this."

"that a shirt sleeve makes a good bandage?"

"a good temporary one. I'm going to tell your mother you slipped and fell down the hill onto the rocks."

She was so dim she'd actually fall for that. "_you're_ going to tell her?"

He snorted. "I'm not letting you walk home alone with a shoulder like that. When you get home, you might even want to call your doctor."

My doctor would love to know why a 'low fitness level' non-athletic person like me fell down a bunch of rocks, but oh well.

Later

Nagihiko flashed his charming smile he uses on adults on my mother. "hello, sorry we're late. Rima-chan fell down a bunch of rocks and got her shoulder cut."

She actually did believe him. She gave him a teacher's-pet grin and then glomped me. "oh, poor Rima-chan! Luckily Nagi was there to make sure you didn't bleed to death. Wasn't Amu-chan with you?"

"she had to go home."

She fussed. "Nagi-kun, why don't I call Hanako-chan to pick you up here?"

"no, it's o-"

"nonsense. You can stay with Rima-chan and make sure she's OK." Loony mother. Grrr.

He smiled. "ok."

I flopped down on the couch and he sat beside me cautiously as if I was going to pull a steak knife out and chop him to pieces.

"why do you look so guilty?" I asked him. He grit his teeth. "I shouldn't have let that jerk touch you."

"it's not your fault. You have scratches, too."

"scratches," he clarified. "not inch-deep cuts that made you lose a lot of blood."

I winced at his description, and lifted my arm to get the remote. "Ow."

The evil mad genius picked it up. "looks like I get to choose the channel."

"HANG ON! _Naruto_ is on right now!"

"yeah, but so is Grey's Anatomy. I better catch the end."

Evil Mad Genius.

* * *

Ok, y'all better have watched 78. if you haven't, I have a link to where it's subbed. Now, let me point out something very interesting: when Amu-chan walks in all sad, DID YOU SEE IT? RIMA AND NAGI BLINKED AT THE EXACT SAME TIME! WHOO! And in the new opening, they're NEXT to each other! See, it's like a sign sent from heaven (read: the anime industry) that they're meant to be together!

Anyhoo, FU***##!?! TADASE IS SOOOO GAY! I'M SORRY! A cold? Yeah we're all gonna fall for that one "prince" Tada-gay. And then when Amu was like, "Tadase's not coming today? gosh, I wonder why I feel so relieved?" I'm just like, DAMMIT YOU FOOOLLL, MAYBE THA'TS CAUSE HE'S A SELF-CENTERED DOG-LOVING GRANDMA'S BOY!

Ikuto, though... that was just too cutesy-sad. Yeah Amu's worrying about visiting a gay while Ikuto being controlled by a mental fork in a dark alleyway?! Insensitive old squid! But, I am glad we're getting stuff happening next episode. Kukai and his brothers, and FINALLY we get to see stinkin' Ikuto in all his death-rebel glory! (oh no, I'm talking like Lulu). And if there isn't some Ikuto-Amu reconciliation I'm going to march over to Tokyo with my band of Amuto fangirls and PROTEST outside Pony Canyon's office building, I swear to god!

And that's your scary Fangirl rant of the day. =_=0


	30. His Love of Grey's Anatomy

June 2nd

So I had to sit through the ending of some show about dudes in white medical jackets. One guy was all like, "OH NOES! YOU'RE GONNA DIE!" and then it was like "to be continued." Nagihiko sat there all happily but for gods' sake it's a MEDICAL DRAMA.

Then his mother came to pick him up but they ended up talking until eleven o'clock at night, which meant we sat there rolling our eyes. They were talking about formal and how great it is and how cute the decorations are as if they're the ones going. Quite frankly, I'd much rather send my mother in my stead.

I finally yawned and said, "well, I'm going to bed. See you tomorrow."

"wait!" he begged and grabbed my hand.

Seeing Nagihiko beg is something that rarely ever happens, so I knew something was wrong.

"don't leave me alone with them," he said in a strangled whisper, and it took all my willpower to keep from laughing like a homicidal maniac.

"please?" he asked, and gave me the look I often see on Tadase but rarely on Nagihiko – the creepy I'm-a-puppy-that's-been-kicked-please-take-me-home face.

I blushed, looked around furtively for cameras, and reluctantly flopped back down on the couch and continued watching some dorky animated show about a fat guy and his family consisting of a football-shaped baby and a talking dog **(A/N: I heart Family Guy. Sorry, couldn't resist.)**.

Nagihiko turned his head in the other direction and smirked. MANIPULATIVE (Nagihiko word) NASTIIIIII.

Later

Right, my life really is going down the drain. The phone rang, and since I was in the room, I picked it up.

"hullo?" I asked, thinking it was either a) Yaya on a sugar high or b) one of mom's loony clients.

"Rima? is that you?"

"DAD? I thought you were in FRANCE?"

"I am. There's such thing as long-distance phone calls, you know. Now, do you like it at Seiyo High?"

"yes," I snapped.

"oh. Oh well. You see, Rima, your mother showed me your report card last term. A 'C' average is NOT meeting the expectations of this family blah blah blahdady blah blah."

"mmm-hmmm."

"you haven't listened to a word I've said, have you?"

No.

"well, it doesn't matter," he continued. "that's why I'm sending you to this lovely boarding school out in France in two weeks."

I gasped, and stumbled. Holding the microwave for support, I said, "no... you can't. all my friends are here. the guardians."

"I thought that was an elementary school thing? You're too old to be fussing around with grade-school secret clubs, Rima. it's time to grow up and worry about school. The fees are paid, and you'll be getting your uniform soon."

"NO!" I yelled.

_Click_.

That's when I sat on the floor and tried not to either cry like a little kid or get hold of dynamite and blow up something. I took a deep breath. _WWJD. What would Jesus do, Rima? hmmm. _

For once Kanon was silent in my mind.

_Kanon?_

_Rima, I'm not going to solve your problems, _Kanon suddenly said, and I felt her presence in my mind drift off somewhere. Having my brain to myself was a rare treat that I should have been taking advantage of but I didn't.

_Screw Jesus, _I thought. _What would Nagihiko do? Since he's the only level-headed person I can think of right now. _

I had a sudden image in my head of Nadeshiko/Nagihiko taking dynamite and blowing up Tada-gay and Kukai in the old guardian's greenhouse, and I smiled to myself. What was wrong with me? I was getting shipped off to a boarding school in fourteen days and all I could do was grin like Tohru Honda.

_La-la-la, la-la-la-LA-la_... I started humming the Fruits Basket theme song to myself, then quickly whacked the stapler against my head to kill a few brain cells and wake myself up.

_Poing. _

Purple butterflies appeared on my cheeks **(A/N: I know her character change was something else but I forgot that when you have two charas, they're character changes are similar. So if green stars appear for KusuKusu, it has to be similar for Kanon) **and my head instantly cleared. Take a deep breath, I told myself. Humming like a retarded person isn't going to solve your problems.

The butterflies disappeared off my cheeks as I thought. I couldn't rely on my mother. Just when her life was getting on track again, I didn't want to add to her worries. Crap, now I sound like Bella Swan. Oh well. Other relatives? None. Police? Melodramatic. Social Services? Ditto. Old family friends like in the shojo anime that you can trust? Ha, none. Plain Old Friends?

They flashed through my head one by one. Amu, Tada-gay (I swear that nickname is going to stick to him for the rest of his life), Yaya, Kukai. What could they do? I won't tell them, I told myself, and immediately felt a surge of guilt. This was going in the direction of Nagihiko when he moved to Europe – don't tell Amu, blah-blah-blah. at the time I thought that was stupid, but now I understood. How could I tell my best friends I was leaving them, possibly forever? What did Nagihiko do instead, anyway? He wrote some dumb letter.

That's it! a letter!

You really know I'm going crazy when I start following Nagihiko's advice.

An hour later

_Dear Guardians, _

_I've gone to France to some dumb boarding school on some crazy plot of my father's. Don't ask. Sorry but I couldn't bring myself to tell you, kind of like the same thing that happened with Nagihiko. Amu, don't run on top of the hill and yell at airplanes like you did with him, OK? I'm leaving Kanon with Nagihiko, since I won't learn anything with her around anyway. KusuKusu I'm taking with me, because it's hihly (oh crap I spelled that wrong. Arg whatever Nagihiko will correct it) unlikely she'll hatch anyway. I suppose I'm not coming back. Don't even try looking for me because Kiseki's rescue mishuns (that's spelled wrong too I'm pretty sure) never work out, remember the embryo search parties? _

_Mashiro Rima_

_P.S.: oh and Tada-gay, you owe me $5. _

It's harder than you think, writing a goodbye letter. I guess I'd better give credit to Nagihiko.

Later, my room

I looked at the calendar to mark down when I was leaving, and did a double-take. The formal is tomorrow. What? How did it end up like that? What's with time flying, the one time I want it to go as slow as possible?

Grrrrrrrr.

* * *

Ah, here it comes... the crazy Fangirl rant for Shugo Chara! Doki episode 79. you know, I ish liked it with Kukai and his older brothers but really I was watching the episode for the Ikuto-Amu battle (who wasn't?). so, just when Ikuto runs at Amu with his Deathsicle and I think that Ikuto's going to stop at the last minute and not hurt her and it'll be a warm fuzzy Amuto moment PRINCE TADA-GAY RUNS IN AT TOP SPEED WITH HIS GAY HOLY CROWN! I want to eat that bleach-brained lout for spoiling a perfectly good Ikuto-Amu moment! And when Tadase starts giving Ikuto his little sermon and Amu's eyes go all shiny I seriously started trying to kill my brain cells with the stapler. UUUGHGHHHH!!!!! ;A;LKDSH;FOBREAKFASTWHAEON;AJDH;ALHVD ;JAH; WAFFLESOIHSE;OIFHA;ODH;AIYHEPO IHAAHPIEPAIOAHPANCAKES;SDHFPAWOEIPAFHV;AHE;RIAPWOEIUR/!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OK... sorry about that... got that out of my system. And I'm very sorry to all the Tadamu readers who had to skim through that for the actual comments on the chapter... XD for them I will say that Tadase is pretty cute. But anyway I should start talking about the things I can actually control, aka my fanfiction -_-. Anyway whoo rima-chan's moving? Or is she? Or is she really? DUN DUN DUNNN.


	31. His Bajillion Dancing Lessons

The next day, June 2nd. 

I was just lying on my bed, trying to pack, and also admiring the extremely ugly uniform for my new boarding school that had come last night. Then the doorbell rang.

"Rima, can you get that?" yelled my mom. When I had told her about moving, she had gone in a big rage and stomped around making funny noises every time someone tried to talk to her.

"NO! I'm packing!" I lied, and after a big moony-gloomy rant about how I've never packed a day in my life I stomped down to answer it. it was a big pink thing that immediately started yelling. It was a couple minutes before I realized it was Yaya already in her dress. Crap.

"RIMA-TAAAAN!!! WE CAME OVER TODRAGYOUOUTTO FOOOOORRRMALLLLL!!!! YAAAAAAYYYY!!!!!"

Amu grinned at me evilly. "we thought you'd ditch, so we're making sure you come. Besides, you haven't been answering your phone since last night. What's wrong?"

"nothing," I mumbled, and we all paraded up to my room. "you don't have to do this."

"of course we don't, but we are," said Amu placidly. I quickly stuffed my fugly uniform in the closet behind me as Amu started yanking on my hair with an evil comb.

"what are you doing?"

"we're helping you get ready. Come on, Rima, you have to go to formal."

"I don't _have _to," I pointed out. "it's a free country."

"actually, Tadase's uncle says that all the guardians have to attend to make sure no vampires get through the boundaries or something," said Yaya.

"_What?" _I spluttered.

"Uhhhh, well, you know how in the manga _Vampire Knight _there are guardians that protect the school from vampires? Well, the founding king is kinna obsessed with them (**A/N: see Bonus Chapter: Vampire Chara!**), and he seems to think we're all guardians. He keeps trying to call us Yuki Cross and Zero Kiryu. Don't ask," said Amu, who had some hot metal thing on my hair now. I had no idea what she was doing.

"what are you doing?" I asked, abruptly changing the subject.

"straightening your hair. I dunno, I though it would look good. It's not straightening all the way, it's still kind of wavy."

I tried the evil spoiled-child frown but Amu ignored it and continued patiently losing the battle between my demon-spawn hair and the straightening iron. Yaya kept dancing around, playing with Pepe and Kanon, who was yelling, "YOU'RE FREAKY! I DON'T PLAY WITH FREAKS!" and Suu was giggling in the corner.

"where's Miki and Ran?" I asked, trying to turn around. I felt a burn on the side of my head and Amu snapped, "NO TOUCHY THE IRON! IT'S HOT!" and fell into a disgruntled silence. There was a few moments and then she answered my question by mumbling, "she isn't feeling well. Ran's taking care of her and Yoru." I had a mental image of Miki and Yoru dying on the floor and Ran waving her pom-poms screaming, "YAY! YAY! GET BETTER, YAY!"

Hee hee.

Later

Because my hair is (miraculously) straightened, it's super long now and reaches the backs of my knees. Amu is doing some random things with it where she twists it and it just dully falls back in place. She finally gave up and just tried for the average ponytail.

Yaya is STILL hyper and dancing with Kanon and Suu. Apparently alcohol and chocolate can work miracles in making people loosen up, but the downside is that Kanon has been yelling for the past hour that her mother is George Bush and that if we're not careful he'll knock us down with bowling pins, or something along those lines.

Finally, Amu and Yaya started the long and heavy process of forcing me to get my coat on and get out the door. This was no mean feat; it involved a lot of pushing, shoving, and promises of candy.

To tell you the truth, I wasn't in the happy partying mood due to the slight problem of moving to Europe in one day, so they'd better not complain about what a party pooper or wet blanket I am.

A while later

It turns out I don't need to worry, because all I've done so far is sit in a chair. I hate being left alone with my own thoughts, but it's better than socializing, or (god forbid) dancing. AAAHHH.

About 10ish

Nagihiko sat down next to me and said really fast, "if anyone asks, you have no idea where the hell I went."

"ok," I said. My discomfort at being dragged along to a scary formal must have shown through my voice, because Nagihiko widened his eyes in a vain attempt to look understanding and said, "tell me what's wrong or I'll be forced to kill you."

"no." I snapped. I wasn't telling anyone, not after I had written the goodbye letter and everything.

He sighed, irritated, and tried using reverse psychology. "fine, I don't care anyway."

I said slowly, regretting the words as soon as they came out of my mouth, "what would you do if I went away?"

"like where? To the bathroom?" Stupid numbskull.

"no," I said, struggling not to cry like a little kid, "like out of the country."

"why?"

"it's not like I am," I said, too quickly. "but if I did?"

"I'd drag you back for a proper explanation."

Well, he sure wasn't going to get one until too late. I relaxed. "thanks."

"so what's wrong?" he repeated. Ugh, stupid idiot. "n-nothing," I stammered. I'm the worse liar ever.

"ok, sure. Whatever." he seemed to be having an internal struggle as well. "Rima..."

"yeah?" I mumbled to the floor.

"Sayuri's giving me this evil glare. Can you dance with me so that she'll leave me alone?"

I mumbled some more to the floor.

"what?" he asked.

"ican'tdance," I mumbled.

He bit back the sickest grin I'd ever seen. "you can't... pffft...." and he started laughing quietly.

"shut up," I growled, but before I could offer up any resistance he pulled me to my feet. "it's easy, I'll teach you."

"yeah, easy for some freak who's taken, like, a bajillion dancing classes. No thank you." this was somewhat ruined by my face getting hotter by the minute. Nagihiko seemed to be enjoying my moment (which was more like forever) of my pain.

"one of these days," I whispered quickly in a fast rhapsody (Nagihiko word), "I'll hang you from the rafters or stuff you full of lettuce or some other form of unpleasant torture as payback for all the years of pain you caused me-" I cut off when he put his hand around my waist. "pervert!"

"that's how it goes, dummy."

"I'm not a dummy." However, I was enjoying Sayuri's look of scandalization (Nagihiko word) from across the room. Hee hee. By now, my face felt like a barbecue pit and was probably crimson.

"now just count in your head," advised Nagihiko.

"how's that going to help?" I demanded.

"you have to keep time," he said. Stupid. I started muttering under my breath, "_one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve..." _

"Um... you stop at four, Rima." way to ruin a romantic situation. Phew.

I Death-glared at him, but it seems he's becoming immune to it because all he did was smile. Arg, annoying.

"_one-two-three-four, one-two-three-four",_ I kept muttering and Nagihiko sweatdropped and said, "you can't be that bad..."

I tripped.

"never mind," he clarified.

"shut up." I repeated. Then I wondered if I should leave our relationship on such a sour note when I left and so I quickly muttered, "sorry."

"for what?" said Nagihiko. At this point a slow song came on but Nagihiko was still trying to wheedle answers out of me. "why are you sorry?"

"you'll see," I said sagely. Oh, god, I sounded like a fortune teller.

"no!" said Nagihiko, his (indescribably lovely...) eyes widening in shock. No way. He couldn't read my mind, could he? "don't kill yourself," he ordered. "no cutting your wrists or being suicidal in any way. No jumping off bridges. For that matter, no skydiving."

Oh, that's so cute. He thought I was going to kill myself. No, even worse.

"nice try," I said lightly. "but worse."

"torture? Going to jail?" hardee har har. No more CSI Miami for you, mister.

"no." I was wondering if he was going to slap me soon from being so vague (Nagihiko word).

He did something way worse. He hugged me tightly, in front of everyone, as if they weren't there. The whole room seemed to blur. Like an idiot, I thought feebly, _oh, Crapsticks. I'm going blind. _

"YOU BETTER NOT MOVE AWAY, MASHIRO RIMA," he said in a whisper, still hugging me. I put in all capitals because he said it really serious and threatening. I felt tears prick my eyes. "why would I move away? Of course I'm not," I said, my voice unnaturally high.

"If you move away, I swear to God, I will find you. Some way or other. Is this what this is all about?" his voice broke, and I stiffened. "N-no."

I stared defiantly back at him (which was a mistake, because I had forgotten how pretty he was... OH DID I JUST WRITE THAT?)

The song ended and we both silently walked back to the edge of the floor (Amu was smirking at me from the other end of the gym but I ignored her). that's when the voice started.

_RIMA YOU IDIOT!!!! HOW CAN YOU LEAVE THAT POOR, POOR LITTLE BROKEN SOUL?!?!?!?! YOU'RE HEARTLESS, MERCILESS, COLD DEMON SPAWN! OOOHH, HOW HORRID! LOOK AT THAT BROKEN LOOK ON HIS FAAAACCCE! _

The last place I wanted to look was at Nagihiko's broken face, but somehow my head ended up turning and I felt my stomach drop and sail somewhere into another dimension. Even if he didn't feel the same way about me, why was I leaving him?

_YOUR STUPID FATHER, THAT'S WHY, DEMON SPAWN!_

_Shut up! _I cried in my head, and to my utter surprise Kanon was silent.

Ugh.

"I'm sorry," I said for about the billionth time that night.

"don't be," he said harshly, and I flinched. He softened. "no, it's fine. I know it's not your fault. I won't tell anyone if you..." he tripped over his words (for the first time in ancient history). "... if you think that's all right. but you shouldn't make that mistake."

"how do you know?" I said, goggling at him.

He pointed at the figure floating next to him.

"thanks a lot, traitor." I glared at Kanon.

"no, I'm glad she did... well, I have to go soon, but since you're leaving tomorrow forever I..." I tried to keep my eyes from becoming the size of dinner plates like in the cartoons. What was he saying? "I... should... tell you something. Rima, I guess this is going to sound weird and twisted but, since we were little, I –"

It was a minute before I realized we were both holding our breath. He exhaled. "you know what? Never mind. Sorry."

"no! what is it?" I wheedled (or rather, tried to).

He smiled slightly. "it'll be a long, long time until I tell you. A long time. Very long. I'm not ready yet."

"I'll be waiting." Ugh, now I sounded like Yuuki Cross (**A/N: see **_**Vampire Knight **_**final episode**).

All he did was smirk (like a perverted cat I could mention who was listening at the heating vents to make sure Amu didn't cheat on him). "bye, Ri-Ri-tan." And before I could yell at him not to call me that, he kissed me swiftly on the head and disappeared like a rabbit in a disappearing act.

* * *

Sorry it took so long to update :'( I was kind of taking a break from this fic. Over my 'break' I started and finished a new anime – Gakuen Alice! Which, by the way, is an awesome anime with the crappiest ending. I'm going to start reading the manga to see if that has a better plot ^^

Oh, and about Shugo Chara 80: Tadase is actually super-cute when he gets aggressive and start calling Ikuto Ikuto-niisan! SQUEEE!!!!!! *goes loony Fangirl*. And the Easter's director is pretty damn hilarious too, because HIS VOICE SOUNDS LIKE HE HAS, LIKE, A DOZEN COTTON BALLS STUFFED IN HIS MOUTH! BWA HA HA HA!!!! XDXDXD. I know he's evil, blahblahblah, but he cracks me up, I swear.

Oh, but the whole, "believing in someone makes your heart go fuzzy! PURATINOMU HAATO (Platinum Heart!)! *CUE CHRISTMAS MOVIE MUSIC!*" sadly make me want to puke all over Tada-gay's lame frilly clothes. UGH. And when he said "let's shake hands and make up," I thought he said, "let's shake hands and make OUT," so I started screaming profanity at the screen 0.0;.

Ah, but then we close the episode with, once again, RIMA WALKING NEXT TO NAGI! Yaya was there, too, but still ISNT' IT OBVIOUS?! Yeah I'm crazy -_-. And then, finally, before the ending kicks in Tsukasa, aka Tada-gay senior, says a couple dirty-sounding lines about lost little kittens in cages and we see poor Yoru-chan sitting on a teacup :'(.

I'm seriously thinking about putting up a blog where I can rant about this kind of stuff so that you don't have to read it -_-. I love blogs. The more I think about it, the more it makes sense I should get one -sigh-.

Oh, and if anyone's desperate to download the ending theme full version (MY BOY, Buono) I have the full version download link so just PM me if you want it (except it's radioripped).

NOW, ABOUT THE ACTUAL CHAPTER! I kind of had to force my way through this – I thought I didn't get writer's block until this chapter -_-. Thank you to all my readers encouraging me to finish it, because by the end of the chapter my writer's block was gone and we got in some decently sweet Rimahiko. If you read Nagi's lines carefully enough, you'll see how Rima might not move permanently ;).

NEXT CHAPTER: I'll try not to describe the plane ride for half the chapter this time =_=0. here is a sneek peek excerpt! (oh, god, I sound like an advert).

---

I groaned inwardly as I faced five lines of blank faces. "_this is Mashiro Rima from Japan_," prattled the teacher in French. That was the only sentence I knew in French. Crap.

"_bonjour_?" I said, and they all laughed.

We're off to a good start.

"_hey. I'm here to steal one of your students. And if you don't let her go, I'll set my catboy on you._"

I turned around and stared at the figure leaning against the doorframe. It was my imagination. I was delirious. Either way, that could not be Fujisaki Nagihiko and Tsukiyomi Ikuto standing in the doorway.

---

I bet that makes you wanna read it, doesn't it? doesn't it huh huh huh? Well, see ya next chappie! -&HEARTS*


	32. He Speaks French, Too

5:30, June 3rd

I slipped into the high school (which is _not _open at 5:30, but I character-changed with Kanon and persuaded the janitor to let me in) and put the letter in Amu's locker. _I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, _I repeated over and over.

"Oi. What do you think you're doing?"

I made my particularly disgusted face at Ikuto, who was sitting on the window. "did Nagihiko tell you?"

He grinned. "well, no, but you just gave that away. What are you doing? Huh huh huh?"

"nothing." I lied and stomped out, feeling the guilt again.

Airport

"_If you move away, I swear to God, I will find you. Some way or other." _

Would he? I just remembered what he said while I was in the lineup for the airport. And that's when Kanon's prattling seemed to have an effect on me. Was it likely that, when Nagihiko finds out where I'm going, he'll follow me?

Doubtful.

But still.

And so then I did a very smart or dumb thing. I dropped one of my hair ribbons from my bag on the ground by the international flight lineup. It has 'Ri-Ri-tan' embroidered on the side so it's not likely Nagihiko will mistake it for something else.

By the metal detectors, I was running out of hair ribbons.

By the place right before the tunnel, I realized I had run out altogether. There were people behind me waiting to board the plane, and so I did something so reckless and impulsive they should've named me ADHD poster child of the year (**A/N: I didn't make this line up. It's from Percy Jackson. Sorry)**. I balanced KusuKusu's egg on a shelf mumbling apologies to the Shugo Chara Gods.

I'm sure all the adults won't be able to see it, but if... no, they wouldn't be in an airport.

Plane ride, later

I never imagined it would be so hard to go ALONE on a stupid plane ride. There's a fat guy in the aisle seat, and then a girl about my age who looks American next to me.

And the snacks on Air France planes are way worse than the ones on the American planes.

When the plane took off, I shut my eyes and the girl next to me said sympathetically in English, "don't like flying?"

"no," I replied back.

I had left Kanon with Amu along with the letter that morning, so I couldn't ask her to translate anything. Even so, I was able to stumble along relatively (Nagihiko word.. oh god, have to stop thinking about him dammit) well. Her name was Emily and she was from Canada, wherever that was. I think it's some place that's on top of the United States where they all live in igloos and drink maple syrup. I asked her where in Canada and she said, "Vancouver."

All I could remember about Vancouver, Canada was that they had a bunch of forests, a good hockey team, and free marijuana.

"do you smoke pot?" I asked her politely.

"yeah, three packs a day," she said lightly.

"really?" I said, staring back at her in horror.

"no," she snorted. Oh, hardee har har. Mashiro got served, ha-ha-ha.

"why you go to France?" I asked. (I'm pretty sure I didn't conjugate the verb correctly there and Kanon would've killed me, but she got the idea.)

"with my French class," she smiled. They learn French in Canada, oh horrors.

Later

I spent the next couple hours looking at guardian photos on my cell phone – (yep, I got serious problems). My particular favourite is the one where Yaya got us to dress up for the Halloween of grade nine where we all went trick-or-treating as woodland animals. I was a chipmunk, Nagi was a rabbit and Amu was a beaver. Yaya is yelling in the background in a guinea pig suit.

Good times.

I stared at the pictures for awhile. Oh, ha ha, Tada-gay was a 'king' cobra and had to squish himself into this tight suit made out of snakeskin. HA HA HA!!!

After the horrid seven-hour plane flight

There was a car waiting to drive me to the school. The driver attempted to make conversation for awhile but eventually gave up when I started kicking the back of his seat.

"_Here we is," _he said in French, or something along those lines. _"aller" _– I think that's "go" – "_to the bureau_". I think that's "office". Or does it mean Bureau like in a chest of drawers? Uurrrgghghh.

I went to the office of the prissy school and hoped for the best.

After finding the stupid classroom.

I groaned inwardly as I faced five lines of blank faces. "_this is Mashiro Rima from Japan_," prattled the teacher in French. That was the only sentence I knew in French. Crap.

"_bonjour?_" I said, and they all laughed.

We're off to a good start.

"_hey. I'm here to steal one of your students. And if you don't let her go, I'll set my catboy on you._"

I turned around and stared at the figure leaning against the doorframe. It was my imagination. I was delirious. Either way, that could not be Fujisaki Nagihiko and Tsukiyomi Ikuto inside the doorway.

I heard a bunch of girls whispering "_cute!_" and I thought wryly that Amu would probably punch them. Then I realized I wanted to punch them, too, and tried to expel the jealous feeling by whirling around an yelling at them (in quick angry Japanese) "what the _JIGOKU_*are _TU** _doing here?! BAKA! IDIÒT!***"

(the teacher looked highly confused at us switching through garbled mixtures of English, French, and Japanese).

Nagihiko grabbed my arm and started dragging me back towards the door. "Stupid! If you don't want to go, why did you? I didn't put up with that cat for seven hours for nothing, you know!"

"this cat has ears, you know!" snapped Ikuto. "besides, I want the shrimp back as much as anyone else... maybe less," he added as an afterthought. "and Amu is waiting to kill you when she's finished in the office."

One of the French students suddenly said in Japanese, "hey! I can understand what they're saying!"

"woot," I said sarcastically to the student, and offered up little resistance as Nagihiko dragged me out the door.

In the hallway

Nagihiko suddenly fumbled in his pocket and said, "oh, here," and handed me KusuKusu.

"thanks." I said dully, taking the green-and-orange egg.

"that was smart, with the hair ribbons," he said admiringly. "Amu will give them back to you when she's –"

"YOU BAKA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" yelled a pink blur that started bitch-slapping me. "YOU STUPID! STUPID! STU- don't hold me back, you hentai cosplay neko!"

"make me," said Ikuto, smirking as he tried to hold Amu back from making mincemeat out of my face.

Somebody's cell phone rang, and Nagihiko picked it up.

"hello? Hi, Hotori."

Stupid Tada-gay was in on this too?

"yes, we did," said Nagihiko, sounding particularly smug. In the background, Amu yelled, "stop groping me, you perv!" (he still hadn't let go of Amu).

"is that Tsukiyomi Ikuto being perverted again?!" yelled Tada-gay on the other end of the line.

"YES!" We all (including Ikuto) said dully at the same time, and I heard a _click._

"let's go home," said Amu cheerfully, untangling herself from Ikuto's grasp (he seemed pretty reluctant to let her go). Then her smile faded.

"what? What is it?" I asked her.

The whole room seemed to swell with the silence. Then finally, Nagihiko said softly, "Miki and Yoru went back into their eggs this morning."

_Property of Hinamori Amu – if this is Ami, PUT IT DOWN RIGHT NOW. _

7:30 am

This morning, I woke up because Ran was slapping me with her pom-poms. "Amu-chan! Amu-chan! Hurry up!"

"nani?" I said sleepily, and that's when I noticed Suu was up, but not Miki. No Yoru either. All I could see of him was his black-and-white egg patterned with kitty heads.

The loud noise of my horrible ringtone pierced the room, and I rolled over to answer. To my utter surprise, it was...

"Amu," someone said, "where's Yoru?"

"who is this?" the tone of voice sounded very unfamiliar, but I'm pretty sure I knew them.

"it's Ikuto, who else?!" Ikuto snapped exasperatedly. It's really weird hearing Ikuto not make some perverted comment and actually talking normally, that's for sure.

"he... he went back inside his egg." I said, finding it hard to get the words out. "so did Mik- IKUTO, I'M IN MY PYJAMAS, YOU PERVERT!" I yelled as he jumped in through the window. Luckily my whole family was downstairs.

"since when did that get in the way of our relationship?" said Ikuto offhandedly, and then all expression slid off his face as he saw Yoru's egg.

"I thought I couldn't feel his presence," he said in a hushed voice. He took a couple deep breaths, and then said, "Rima's gone."

That's when I just snapped. First Shizunabe shows up a couple weeks ago trying to kill us, than Ikuto twists my feelings around, then Miki goes back inside her egg, and now one of my best friends DISAPPEARS OF THE FACE OF THE PLANET?!

I burst out crying before Ikuto could do anything and buried my face in my pillow. There was silence only broken by my muffled sobs. Finally, Ikuto said, "oh, god. Don't do that, Amu. I'm upset, too."

_Sure don't sound like it, _I wanted to say, but then I saw his knuckles were white from not overreacting. I felt shock as I realized he must be holding back for my sake. Why? Why did this stupid idiot go to so much trouble for someone who only hurts the ones around them? Ugh.

There were a couple more minutes, and then suddenly Ikuto silently walked up and put his arms around me. That was enough to make me stop crying from shock. Once I stopped I couldn't start again, so I just mumbled, "what are you doing?".

He released me and walked to the window. "get dressed and feed your parents some story. Nagihiko's on his way. We're going to get Rima, dammit, even if it means I have to sit in a metal box for an infinite number of hours to get there."

Rima's Diary~~~Bala-balance! RiRi pwns! Don't you dare read if you value your life.

So, if you'd like a summary, I spent roughly 7 hours on the plane, 2 hours in France, and 7 on the way back. Making it a grand total of 16 hours of my life wasted that I'll never get back.

Maybe not exactly _wasted, _because I _did _get to spend 7 hours next to Nagihiko.

Ehheh.

Also, Ikuto and Amu kept giving each other dark foreshadowing looks.

Oh well!

* * *

Foreign language translation:

*Jigoku: "hell," Japanese.

**Tu: "you," French.

***Idiòt: as the name suggests, "Idiot" in French.

I'm from Vancouver, BC, myself so that's why Emily was from Vancouver out of all places (we don't smoke pot, though...). and my excuse for the Amuto overload is that I want to heal all the hurt Amuto Fangirl souls who wanted to murder Tada-gay in Doki! episode 80. Decent Rimahiko but more Amuto in this chapter. Urgh, I'm starting to tear my hair out about how to make Ikuto romantic while not making him OC. (I'm seriously scared of OC Ikuto's, I had a bad dream about one once).

NEXT CHAPTER: much like in the anime Bleach, I'm going to stick in a couple filler episodes! Yay! Oh no... now I sound like Naka-sensei. Anyway, if you've been keeping track of the dates in Rima-chan's diary you'll see that it's June and so school's almost over! know what this means?

Tsuki-no-kimi: Oi! That's chapter after next!

NEXT CHAPTER: Riiiiiight. Anyway, filler episode/chappie: the Guardians-plus-Utau go to a curio shop. No Ikuto, sorry. Ikuto's on a recuperation break to lose all his OC-ness. Thanks to meow120123 for the idea about the curiosity shop that she gave me a looong time ago but I promised myself I would use it. NYAHAHAHA. Anyway, any events that happen in the next chapter are (c)meow120123, cause I sure as hell couldn't make that stuff up.


	33. His Worst Fear

June 5th 

"MASHIRO! FUJISAKI!" yelled our accursed math teacher. "WOULD YOU STOP FLIRTING AND PAY ATTENTION!!!??!!"

There was an outbreak of giggling as Nagihiko flashed his charming smile and went, "I understand. We'll do it after school..." and I kicked him under the table. The math teacher gave him her teacher's pet grin and continued ranting on about the wonders of trigonometry. I glared at Nagihiko but he just tried to give me the charming teacher's-pet-smile too. Damn kid. Oh, and for the record, we WEREN'T flirting. We were actually talking about the unresolved Shizunabe problem when the stupid math teacher noticed that for once in Nagihiko's pathetic life he wasn't paying attention and decided to wreck my life further.

"I wish you had stayed in enriched math where you belong," I hissed, and he replied, "I wish the counselor had gone through with putting you back in grade nine math, where _you_ belong."

Then everyone started pushing their chairs over away because the blue-white electricity was starting to crackle between us.

After school

I was walking out of class when Yaya suddenly glomped me. "RI-MA-TAAAN!!! I'M BOREDI'MBOREDI'MBORED. LET'S GO DO SOMETHING FUN!"

"wh... what..." I stammered, not getting any of that.

Tadase grimaced. "why don't we just go home, Yuiki-san?"

"NO!" complained Yaya. "If I go home, my mother will be all 'blahdady blah blah, you should be studying! Look at this test grade, blahdady blah blah!" so WE HAVETO DO SOMETHINGGG!!!"

I looked accusingly at Tadase. "she guilted you into giving her candy, didn't she?"

"yes," he said meekly.

Five minutes later

Amu, Kukai, and Nagihiko all showed up to see Yaya playing ring-around-the-rosy with us in an effort to get off her sugar high.

"do I even want to know?" said Nagihiko, aghast. I wasn't really paying attention, because playing ring-around-the-rosy with Yaya is a very out-of-body experience.

Yaya threw me and Tadase into a tree like rag dolls, and yelled, "YAY! WE'RE ALL HERE! LET'S GO DO SOMETHING!"

"she guilted you into giving her candy, didn't she?" said Amu, glancing at Tadase.

"yes," he repeated meekly.

Later

And that's how we ended up wandering around aimlessly looking for something to do.

"it is better than studying," I said stubbornly.

"you haven't started studying yet?!" said Nagihiko.

"for what?" I said, yawning.

"....."

Ha, I shut him up.

3:30

Suddenly, a seagull came out of nowhere and dropped a coca-cola can on my head.

"KUKAI!" I said accusingly, pointing at him. "don't chuck cans at me!"

"that wasn't me!" he protested.

Nagihiko started laughing behind his hand.

"it was YOOOUUU!!!!" I said, going frighteningly giant and chibi and pointing a finger down on him with my eyes glowing eerily. Heh. I should do that more often.

Nagihiko kicked me and I slowly deflated and he said through laughter, "it.. it was... a seagull... HA HA HA HA HA AHA AHA AHA (This is the part where he continued laughing)."

The coke can was lying on the ground right in front of an old broken down store. Tadase walked over to pick it up, and he tripped over his own feet. Well, it turns out it wasn't his own feet, but some trip wire. Then an old guy hobbled out of the old crumbling store, saying, "HEE! Looks like I caught a hapless victim! HEE HEE HEE!"

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't have grabbed Nagihiko's sleeve, but I did because the old guy from the store looked like those sexual harassers you see on _Dateline. _I think even Nagihiko was kind of unsettled, because he gulped quietly. I grabbed Tadase's collar and tried to drag him away from Mr. Pervert but he took hold of his other arms and started yelling, "NOOO!!! THIS IS MY CUSTOMER!" and we both started pulling on him. We looked like we were engaging in some Tug-of-Tadase-war.

"Mashiro-san..." said Tadase, turning purple, "you're chok--- GALK." Nagihiko pulled me off. "come on, Rima... Hotori's expendable." Luckily, at that point, a younger (but still middle-aged) guy came out and said, "oh, Dad! You did it again! No, don't trip people with the trip wire!" and sighed really loudly and annoyingly like we had interrupted some important business venture. "well... I suppose you'd better come in..." he sighed, and Mr. Pervert went sadly inside. We could hear him stomping up the stairs.

That's when I looked up at the sign, and I saw it said C U R I O S H O P in giant letters. I shuddered.

"Amu? what are you doing here?"

Amu froze, halfway through entering the store, and turned around to look. "Utau?"

"yes. What are you doing going into... _that place?" _she said _that place _like some people say _bird droppings _or _Kukai's gym socks._ The shopkeeper looked ready to kill her but I guess killing idols is illegal or something because he just looked at her darkly.

I peeked inside the doorway of the store and saw nothing but stuff. No, seriously. The shelves were lined with everything from frolicking kitten statues to old potato sacks.

We all went into the curio shop and suddenly Nagihiko stiffened. I wouldn't have noticed except I still hadn't taken my hand off his sleeve. He was staring straight ahead.

"are.. are you OK?" I said, peering around to look at him. His face was even paler than normal.

"Uh." Was all he said, and started backing away towards the door. Sadly, Utau was right behind him blocking the way.

I looked in his line of vision, but all I saw was a bunch of cardboard boxes and a smiling clown figurine.

"you don't look okay at all." I told him.

"I'm just fine!" he said, and his voice was at least an octave higher than it usually was. "finefinefine what could possibly be wrong? Nothing, that's what. Nothing's wrong. I'm not scared of anything!"

"you're babbling," I observed.

"NO! NO I'M NOT!" he protested, still in his creepy high voice. He looked like a vampire by now, all gaunt and haunting, and his feet looked rooted to the spot.

"the only thing there is some creepy clown statue..." I began, and he started hyperventilating. "DON'T SAY THEIR NAME!!!!"

I started laughing like crazy. I'm sorry, it wasn't very nice, but I couldn't resist. "you're scared of CLOWNS? CLOWNS? Do you just realize the painful irony in that?"

"don't laugh!" he said really fast. "it's because when I was little I went to this birthday party and the clown was all like, "hey, kids! I'm your new best friend!" and it was REALLY SCARY and then when I was ten I read Stephen King's _It _and I couldn't sleep for WEEKS!" he sounded close to tears but I couldn't stop laughing and neither could Yaya.

"so why aren't you scared of ME?" I demanded. "my character transformation with KusuKusu is a clown and I've done it plenty of times."

"I was kind of scared of it," he mumbled. "that's why I stayed BEHIND you and kind of far away."

"BLEH!" I said, waving the clown statue. "I'M BOZO! I'M GOING TO EEAAAATT YOUUU!!! HEHEHEHE!"

"I DON'T WANNA BE EATEN!" said Nagihiko, panic-stricken. His eyes were the size of dinner plates.

I felt a bit guilty torturing him like this so I stuffed it in one of the cardboard boxes and taped it shut. "there. See? No more clown."

"what if it cuts its way out of the box?" Nagihiko whined.

Five minutes later

Yaya picked up an odd potato-sack doll thing, and asked the shopkeeper about it. he eyed it warily.

"Oh... yeah. The voodoo doll. I never knew who controlled it, and who it controlled. _You _sure don't want it." The idiot shopkeeper looked afraid of Yaya. Of course, Yaya made the voodoo doll hit its little head over and over again with its hands. The weird thing was, that the shopkeeper idiot freak kept on hitting himself, too. It was fun to watch, but after a while it got a bit old. He complained over and over, calling Yaya bad names that I shouldn't put in print. But Yaya was off in la-la land and not listening to the string of insults, and so the shopkeeper kept on hitting himself until we had to leave.

Yaya bought the voodoo doll. Hee hee.

(**A/N: The above paragraph is (c)meow120123.) **

Then Kukai said, "hey, look! A petrified soccer ball!"

"uh..." began the shopkeeper, but Kukai began kicking the brown shriveled-up thing across the floor.

"what is that, really?" Amu asked the shopkeeper in an undertone.

"Uhhhh... a shrunken head."

Hee hee.

Walking home

Kukai actually brought the shrunken head, aka the petrified soccer ball!

Nagihiko is muttering crazily under his breath, "it appears the clown isn't following us... phew."

Amu is lost in thought thinking about something. Or, let's just say, some_one_. Heh.

Yaya is making her voodoo doll do an Irish jig.

Utau is on her cell phone texting like crazy. Probably sending out an SOS to her manager.

As soon as we turned the corner form the curio shop, Nagihiko let out a sigh of relief and crumpled against the wall like a tin can. "thank god... that stupid creepy little clown didn't cut its way out of the box."

"are you sure you're OK?" I mumbled so no one would catch me being nice.

"yep..." he said, but he kept leaning against the wall.

"come ON!" I said exasperatedly, looking in the opposite direction and snatching his hand. I began to stomp off to catch up with the others.

He rolled his eyes behind me.

"I saw that!"

Later

By this time, everyone had turned off to go to their houses but me, Amu, and Nagihiko. As I walked in, I picked up the letters from the mailbox and stopped dead.

"what is it?" asked Amu, trying to peek at the letter, but I ripped it open crazily.

_Dear Ms./Mrs./Mr. Mashiro,_

_We are sending word to you about our academic concerns for your child _(at this point there was a line and someone had written, "Mashiro Rima" on it). _If she does not get 75% or over on all final exams she will be forced to repeat all courses for the 10th grade. Please send word back as soon as possible. _

_Sincerely, _

_Amakawa (Tada-gay) Tsukasa_

"PFFT!" said Nagihiko, laughing. "Amakawa-sensei made a typo! His name's _Tada-gay! _Instead of his last name meaning "common current" (**A/N: this is only one of the many meanings for the Japanese elements in 'Tadase', Peach-Pit might have meant it to mean something else)** it now means, 'just gay'..."

He continued on in this fashion until I slapped him.

Then I called, "here, kitty kitty," and Mr. Next-door-neighbor's cat, Spatty, came mewling up. I fed her the letter and she began to eat it noisily.

"that's not going to make the problem go away," Nagihiko reminded me.

"hushyou."

* * *

HERE COMES MY EPISODE 81 RANT!!! W00t.

I've always hated Kiseki. I dunno, maybe it's his crap voice or his F^$!*& kingly remarks and dorky outfit but I seriously hate his guts almost as much as Tadase's. Oh, and Yoru? . IIIII!!! NYA, DESU!!! *goes fangirlish*. And I officially love Yaya. I burst out laughing when she just stands up and goes, "LET'S BREAK INTO EASTER WH00T!" and then goes all kawaii and chibi on us and forces Nagihiko and Rima to hold hands ^^ rewatch the episode if you don't believe me, when she drags them all over, Rima is always at the end and Nagi is second-to-last... kawaii. miheartsyayanow. Ohandi'vestartedtotypewithnospaceskinnalikemeow120123doessometimes XDXDXD. But there WANS'T ENOUGH IKUTO. DAMN YOU STUPID PEOPLES. Come, fellow Amuto lovers *pervy Ikuto smirk* ... let us go to Pony Canyon in Tokyo and give those stupid adults a piece of our mind... ohhh, yesss.....

Speaking of 'ohhh, yesss....." I've started watching Saturday Night Live on a regular basis, and I was just like, "why the hell didn't I watch this show sooner? It's fricking hilarious!!!! Nyaaa!!" so now I'm hooked on SNL. Yay~*. One of the little skits a while ago is particularly hilarious, it's a spoof on _Dateline._ You know, that creepy show where they interview murderers and investigate killings and stuff. Anyhoo, here's the link:

http://.com/watch?v=ULKC5auyGHQ

(tell meh if the link doesn't show up).

Anyway, I... liked this chapter. Reallyreally liked it. The clowns... that... came from me -_-. The personal experiences with the clown really happened to me, except I unlike Nagi couldn't make it through _It _once I realized it was about clowns. GAH. Oh, but I'm not scared of Ri-Ri-tan character-transformed. She just looks kawaii then ^^

i put up a new poll on my profile in regards to another in-story crossover, so please vote becuase i seriously can't decide what anime to do!

Well, see ya next chapter! OH, and thank you for the reviews! I'll be like, "ooh yay fanfiction email..." and it'll be this great review and I'll be like Squee! (no, it's not just you. I'm high).

~♥, Tsuki-chan.

p.s.: i'm thinking about having a strict updating schedule now (e.g.: updated every tuesday, for example) but hmm i dunno. what do you think? o.O


	34. Bonus Story: The World of SC Fanfiction

**(A/N: I do not own/write any of the fanfictions mentioned. True, I did use them without the author's permission, but if anyone has a problem with their fic being mentioned I'll take it off.)**

"hey!" yelled Yaya, running into the library and getting shot a dirty look by the librarian.

"AAAH!" said Nagihiko, caught by surprise, and tipped over his various piles of notes and textbooks.

"kyeesh, Nagi, you look like you've seen a ghost (**A/N: or a clown :D)**! Anyway, looklooklook what I made for my science project!"

"O-K..." he said, staring at the cardboard thing in front of him. "it says... model 34761, assembled in China, made in..."

"NO! not THAT side!" said Yaya, exasperatedly, just as a golden head bobbed into the library with Amu in tow and peered at the other side of the giant box.

"it's a refrigerator box." said Rima dully. "Mizumori-sensei isn't going to give you an A for a cardboard box, Yaya."

"he's not going to give you an A for a vinegar-and-baking soda volcano either, Rima-chan," Nagihiko shot back, and she glared at him.

Yaya turned it around so that all the guardians could see that it said, scribbled in magic marker, "altirnit dimenshun mashin."

"see, I didn't know how to spell the words, so I asked Rima-tan how to," said Yaya happily.

Nagihiko gave Rima a smirk. "A-L-T-I-R-N-I-T?"

"see," said Yaya, ignoring them, "it's a machine that will move us into an alternate dimension! And I want us, the guardians, to test it out, K? ok, Amu-chi?"

"sure," said Amu, hiding her giggles, and hissed to Rima and Nagihiko, "_Just humour her." _

Nagihiko sighed. "OK. But I need to continue studying soon."

Yaya pulled out a bunch of pipe cleaners and tied them to each of their arms, including her own. "see? WATCH!"

She pulled a lever made of play-doh on the side, and as Amu and Rima and Nagihiko all suspected, nothing happened. They were getting ready to let Yaya down gently when Yaya went, "YAY! IT WORKED!"

Rima yawned. "huzzah."

Nagihiko went back to studying, and Amu said, "hey, Rima-chan! Let's go on the computers!"

"OK, Amu-chan," she said, showing a bit of enthusiasm.

Rima went straight to to read Vampire Knight stories, but on the way down she stopped dead in the S category of anime, stunned.

"what is it, Ri- WHAT?" Amu shrieked, earning another dirty look from the librarian. "Shugo Chara!? That's impossible!" Nagihiko's History textbook fell off the table, and he hurried to look too.

"well, what are you waiting for?" demanded Amu, and Rima clicked on it. they all paused again, reeling in horror, but no one was more shocked than the particular two the fanfiction concerned as Amu read slowly, "Love Is A Mysterious Thing by KawaiiLilHannah... _reviews_... Rima has hated Nagihiko for who knows how long! But what if that deep passionate hatred was actually love? But exactly what was this so-called thing named "love"? When she finally confesses, what happens when a secret ruins it? Will their love come true? Shugo Chara!, Rated T, English, Romance/Drama, Chapters 12, Words, 18,286, Reviews: 66, Updated: 4-9-09, Published: 1-23-09, Nadeshiko/Nagihiko & Rima."

There was a pause, and then Amu started giggling maniacally. "see? Even the fandom wants Rima-chan and Nagi to get together..."

Rima, who was slowly turning the colour of a pomegranate, stealthily noticed the option that narrowed down stories by character and so she entered "Amu" and "Ikuto" just to try and shut her up. "HA!"

"what!" asked Amu, turning her attention back to the screen. "what did you- OH!" she said, staring in shock and horror, as Rima began to read the first one that caught her eye in her apathetic voice. "The Promise to Myself, by 'Haywee. _reviews_...

After Amu sleeps with Ikuto she is more determined to leave Tadase. Rima is always up for trying something new ;P. And just wait till they hit the steamy LA... Chapter two is kinda lame :P But 1,3,4 and 5 are good! ALOT OF LEMON! woot!"

"what are lemons?" asked Amu. "and WHY THE HELL WOULD I SLEEP WITH THAT NEKOMIMI!?!?!?!?!?!" everyone in the library stared at her, and Amu went red.

"and what do they mean, Rima – I mean, me – is always up for something new?" Rima demanded.

"I guess there's only one way to find out," Amu decided, and clicked it. there was a pause, and then Rima scrolled down to a random part of the fanfiction and began to read it.

"'Well Amu-chan, are you ready for your 17 minutes in heaven.' He purred and licked his lips tossing a glance at Tadase then back to me winking. I giggled. We had changed it to 15 minutes in heaven because it was Rima's 17th birthday. I guess next year we will have to make it 19 minutes in heaven for me. 'I'm all yours sexy.' I winked back."

Amu stared, horrified. "this isn't me! I would never do that! What's wrong with these people? Is the world of fanfiction one big white expanse filled with pervs like Tsukiyomi Ikuto?"

"You're probably drunk in this one," Rima said mercilessly. "And if you ask me, Ikuto's pretty in-character, even if you aren't."

Nagihiko looked rather sick.

"you OK?" said Rima, turning around.

"no."

"why not?"

Nagihiko attempted to cover his grin. "the words 'sexy' coming out of your mouth, even if you're only reading it off something..."

Rima kicked him and he shut up.

Amu inspected the rating. "this is why! It's rated M. thank god, at least has enough decency to give ratings." In retaliation, she went back and set the rating as M and entered in Rima and Nagihiko's names for the character filter. "ha."

Rima read out with a smug look. "No entries found with current settings/filters." She smirked. "HA. Looks like no one has a perverted mind when thinking about us."

Amu switched it back to the T rating, and scrolled down randomly and began to read one of the summaries. "Rima absolutely positively cannot stand Fujisaki Nadeshiko; or at least, that's what she thinks. Oneshot/Slight RimaxNadeshiko/Slight Shojo Ai at the end."

"Rima... X... _N_a_deshiko?_" said Nagihiko, stunned. "slight shojo-ai at the- it's YURI!"

"very good, _smart _one," said Rima sarcastically, but she flushed dark pink anyway. "and why is it Nadeshiko and not Nagihiko?"

"hm, I guess some people think that two girls together is sweeter?" Amu inspected them. "now that I think about it, Rima and a girl Nagihiko would be really – Ow!" Rima slapped her, and she went back to browsing.

"Sakura Kiss. Ooh, I like that song!" said Amu, clicking on it and completely disregarding her two best friend's feelings. "I'll just scroll all the way down to the bottom and see how it ends." She scrolled furiously for a minute, while Rima and Nagihiko sat there glumly with twin sweatdrops. She began to read the last paragraph. "And so the new "couple", deeply in love, shared a passionate kiss and a cute moment kissing as the cherry blossoms floated around them in the breeze. A Sakura kiss. Review this story-slash-chapter. OOOHHH!!!" said Amu, her honey eyes gleaming maniacally. "hot!"

"shut up," said Rima, her cheeks dark red.

"and the best thing is, I can see that happening!"

"no, you can't!" snapped Rima.

"me, neither," said Nagihiko serenely. "for one thing, I wouldn't do that in public..."

Rima kicked him again, leaving yet another bruise, but Nagihiko really didn't seem to mind.

"Oi. Whatcha doing?" said a tall figure, leaning over so that his hair brushed Amu's cheek.

"Aah! NOTHING!" said Amu, falling over off her chair and glaring at Ikuto, who was looking particularly strange in his university's uniform. "I could ask you the same thing!"

"I have to start a paper that's due in an hour," said Ikuto lightly. "besides, this library's open to the university students, too, and that creepy uncle of Tada-gay's said I could use it any time. And then I walked in and that Yuiki Yaya girl asked me to test out her dimension machine or whatever. So, what were you reading? Dirty novels?"

"might as well have," said Nagihiko. "ever been on ?"

"I've been on _adult _, but I don't think that's the –" Ikuto peeked over at the remaining paragraph of the Rimahiko fanfiction. "what the hell did you guys do? Write a fanfiction about yourselves?"

"hell no!" Rima snapped. "there was this category under and it's called Shugo Chara and it's all about us!"

"...really..." said Ikuto, suddenly getting sick images running through his head. "am I in any of them?"

"DON'T SHOW HIM!" begged Amu desperately.

"oh, I don't think so," said Nagihiko placidly, maneuvering the mouse. "after all, you had no problem reading fanfiction pairing us together." He brought up the Amuto lemon fanfiction, and to Amu's horror Ikuto read the entire thing, often reading small passages out loud. "damn," he whistled. "I love these people."

"I hate these people," said Rima, staring at a blank spot on the wall. "my beautiful clean, innocent, pure mind has been dirtied by yours and Amu's antics in bed..."

"oh, believe me," Ikuto smirked, stroking Amu's head (she was hiding under the computer table in humiliation), "it'll be way better in reality!"

"HENTAI COSPLAY NEKOMIMIIII!!!" yelled Amu from under the table, and attracting several more stares.

Ikuto, once he had finished the story, suddenly went back to the page and narrowed it down by pairing to Rima and Nagihiko again.

"you suck," Rima grumbled, but didn't say anymore because her mind was still reeling from everything.

"what's this...?" said Ikuto. "You can't spell, Mashiro?"

"wha-?" said Rima, jerking her head up. "how did you know tha – hang on, I can spell!"

"no, you can't," said Nagihiko. "why?"

Ikuto pointed to the screen, and read out one of the stories summaries. "Rima Can't Spell, a Rimahiko fanfic. It seems that even though four years has passed, nothing has changed. Except for maybe a special two people's relationship? R&R, Rated T for mature reference and cursing. Ch. 34's up." Ikuto grinned. "Mature reference... I like the sound of that."

"I'm sure it's nothing," said Nagihiko, but sounding freakishly hopeful anyway.

"let's read that one," said Ikuto eagerly.

"NO!" said Rima and Amu at the same time.

"it's just... too weird," said Amu desperately. "can we just close it and forget it never happened?"

Ikuto looked ready to argue but Amu widened her eyes, took a step closer, and said, "please."

"add a 'master' to the end of that, and I might oblige," said Ikuto, but he closed it anyway. At that moment, Yaya came flouncing up. "O-K! everyone back into the dimension machine! Time to go back!"

"as if we ever left," Rima grumbled.

* * *

Thanks to everyone who's fics I stole without permission!

I couldn't resist doing this, mostly because I spent a lot of time wondering what Ikuto and Amu would do if they read some of the Amuto lemons out there... :D –evil grin–

Also, Rima Can't Spell, A Rimahiko Fanfic, will be updated every Tuesday from now on! Unless I don't like such a strict schedule, upon which I shall fall back upon my dark ways -_-.

So far, the results for the poll are:

Gakuen Alice – 1 (50%)

Lucky Star – 1 (50%).

All the others have 0.

Don't like what you see? VOTE IN THE DAMN POLL! RAWR! –insane Fangirl mode–.

– Tsukichii~*


	35. His Study Withdrawal

June 6th, the next day

Nikaidou-sensei was droning on about something-or-other study period blah blah blah when I took out one of my textbooks with utter disgust.

"it's not going to eat you, Rima," Nagihiko told me, but I drew a clown on my binder and that shut him up.

I took a deep breath and started reading the page.

Later

OK, for the record, studying is not making your eyes go all round and sweatdropping like it is in the anime. Because I've been doing that for the past fifteen minutes and I'm not feeling any smarter.

Amu asked in a so-called innocent voice, "why don't you get Nagi to help you?" but she quickly started backing away when all the dark aura started seeping out.

Lunchtime

I walked up to Nagihiko and said, "mumble mumble mumble."

"Rima," he said, giving me the sick grin he always gives me when I need something from him, "speak up."

"I can't mumble mumble mumble."

"I can't what?" he was shaking with silent laughter.

"I can't study," I said, making myself look as evil and foreboding as the situation would allow.

"OH, dear," said Nagihiko, yawning and flipping through his binder absently. "what are you going to do about that?"

_Why is it only me he treats this way? _I wanted to ask, but then he'd get into different-ways-of-showing-your-friendship philosophy and I'd fall asleep.

"Can you..." I trailed off.

"that's an incomplete sentence, you need a verb and punctuation. If you knew how to study for Japanese, you'd know that, though."

I stared at him. "clowns."

"SSSHHHH!" he said, his voice going slightly awry.

Then I did something I would've seriously regretted if I had a conscience, but my 'conscience' was playing tag with Kiseki and Temari.

"Please?" I said, making my eyes go big and tear up. "I can't study... you wouldn't want me to fail, would you? would you? no you wouldn't." I sniffed and started rubbing my eyes. It really was quite degrading (Nagihiko word) to my dignity (another Nagihiko word).

He looked away. "those are fake tears."

I took the end of his sleeve. "really?" I managed to make one roll off my cheek.

He seemed to be trying not to start crying himself.

I sniffed, "clowns?"

"don't push it," he said wryly (Nagihiko word), and piled up his portable library and stuffed it in his bag.

Tadase was walking up with Yaya when he said, "Mashiro-san needs help studying? Why don't we all help her?"

"I don't need help!" I lied.

"yeah, just like Yaya doesn't like twizzlers," retorted Nagihiko.

"but I do like twizzlers!" protested Yaya.

"exactly."

Yaya looked confused, but shook her head to clear it up. "YAYA-CHAN WILL HELP YOU STUDY!" she said, grinning and temporarily slipping back into third person. "SHE'S GOOD AT CHEMISTRY!"

"don't give her the answers!" Nagihiko called weakly at our retreating (Nagihiko word) backs. "make her figure it out!"

Chemistry studying... oh horrors. Oh _horrors, _not oh _whores. _

"all Rima-chan has to do to ace the chemmy exam is remember the periodic table," she said, talking very fast. "because Nagi is a stick in the mud I guess you can't just write it down on your hand... boo. Anyway, what is the first chemical on the periodic table?"

Then I stood stock still, because to my horror Chemistry Carl had started playing in my head. "_Ohhh, the first on the list is HY-DRO-GEEEENNN!!!"_

Hydrogen?

"Hydrogen?" I asked.

"Y-yes!" said Yaya, looking very surprised. "second element?"

"helium..."

"YAY!" she said, "RIGHT! how did you know all this, Rima-tan?!"

I told her about Chemistry Carl, and she winced. "Oooh. Nagi's harsh tutoring tactics."

Later

After Hanasaki-sensei gave me a lecture on how dumb I was, Amu got some harebrained scheme to help me do well on the finals.

"Uuuuuuuuuhhh." I said, but I might as well have mooed for all the attention they gave me.

"you see?" said Amu, her eyes gleaming maniacally again. "if we all help her study then we'll get studying done too!"

"Uuuuuuuuuhhh?" I said again, but the Brainiacs & Co. ignored me some more. Oh, but Nagihiko The Brainiac was too busy studying to contribute anything. I blew on the back of his head and he suddenly jerked awake. "WHAT?"

It took me a minute to sink in that he had been talking to me, because I was still admiring how his dark hair fluttered out when I blew on it. I hurriedly shook my head.

"You were asleep!" I accused him. For the first time, I noticed he had dark shadows under his eyes and his hand shook as he wrote.

"N-no, I guess I just dozed off. Or something." He blinked repeatedly like he couldn't get anything in focus.

"you have shadows under your eyes," I observed. "and you're writing is going off the page."

He quickly moved his pencil back onto the paper.

"how late have you been staying up?!" I said, awed at the lengths he was going to study.

"three or four in the mooooorrrnniiinnnggg...." he ended his sentence with a yawn the size of Australia.

"You have to stop this," I said sternly, glaring at him.

He shook his head sleepily and kept writing.

"you're going to get sick. Or drop dead in the middle of the finals!"

"sure I will," he yawned again, and started to make nonsensical spirals across the page.

I bit my lip, but dropped the subject.

History, meh. 

"history is easy, Mashiro-san," Tadase said, making a pathetic attempt to cheer me up. "you should know this. What emperor made the great wall of china?"

I paused for a minute, but suddenly my eyes lit up. "Ronald McDonald!"

"n- n- nooooooooooooo..." Tadase said, his voice trailing off. I could practically hear his thoughts: _It's going to be a loooonnng day. _

Math

Amu smiled shakily. "er, I'm not very good at math either, Rima-chan, but Nagi's helped me a bit and, uh, it can't be that hard! Besides, Ran said she'd help us."

I stared at the pink Chara. "does Ran even know what math _is_?"

Ran practically answered the question by flapping her pom-poms and yelling, "YAY! YAY! YOU CAN BEAT MATH, YAY!"

"OK," said Amu, looking at the page. "um, _determine the formula for the sum of an arithmetic or geometric series, using investigation through a variety of tools_... WHAT?" she said blankly. "Ran? Any suggestions?"

She juggled her pom-poms thoughtfully. "I understand!" she said suddenly. "Investigation! We're going to have to play detective. Through a variety of tools... like gardening tools! Apparently gardening tools are a clue in this mathematical mystery!" her pink eyes gleamed. "this mystery is... Ta-da! _The case of the missing formula. _So using gardening tools we shall investigate WHERE exactly this missing formula went! Are... are you sure this is _math, _Amu-chan?" Ran asked tentatively.

"Hey," said a voice quietly behind me. "First, you have to consider the sum." A finger pointed to what looked like a bunch of letters and numbers in brackets on the page.

Amu's eyes widened and she went red, which was a dead giveaway to who it was. "what the hell are you doing here, Ikuto?!"

"I told you, the library's open to all branches of Seiyo, which includes the university on the next block," said Ikuto, rolling his eyes and half-smiling. "and my professor is making me redo some essay I stole of the internet."

Amu muttered something dark about plagiarizing cosplay-nekos. "we were trying to study."

"Oh, yeah. A stroke of genius. _Gardening tools._"

"well, you have to find some formula and it says using tools so..."

"using tools like _linking cubes, diagrams, and calculators," _said Ikuto, trying not to laugh. "Not... not... trowels and shovels. Jesus!" he started laughing crazily and Amu gave him a highly nasty look. I took out my calculator and started pulling out my notes (actually, they were Tadase's. I didn't take notes in the first semester; I was sleeping and playing hangman with Yaya). "hey... he's right, Amu-chan," I said, surprised (what was actually more surprising is that I inputted the correct formula).

"so..." said Amu tentatively, "how about this one? _Describe an interest that could be represented by the function f(x)=500(1.05) to the power of x." _

"right, I did this question. Of course, I stole _my _answer form the back of the book, but..." he shrugged nonchalantly. "well, you can just write h as a _function_ of r."

Amu looked at him with a newfound awe. "how the heck did you get so good at math?"

"I had to go over Utau's credit card bills and do the family's taxes. Also..." he mumbled the last bit. "our mom used to threaten to hang us from the kitchen ceiling rafters if we didn't get eighty percent or higher on our report cards, mumble mumble mumble."

Ran seemed very happy to get rid of her math-tutoring job.

English

Kukai grinned. "English is fun! First question: what do we call the rhyming scheme _Romeo and Juliet_ is set up in?"

"Rhyming couplets," I guessed.

"yep!" Kukai smiled widely, making all his fangirls squeal behind the bookshelves. "next: what are the building blocks of a word called?"

"Oooh! Ronald McDonald! He built the great wall of China, too!"

Kukai's smile faded somewhat into a grimace. "what the hell had Tadase been teaching you in history?"

"oh, a lot," I said cheerfully. "but I don't think a lot of it sunk in."

"all right. The building blocks of a word is the _root word_. Anyway, _Please explain the relationship between the Capulets and the Montagues, drawing examples and quotes from the script_."

"well, one of them stole the other's dignity –"

Kukai sighed. "yes and no. first of all, the whole dignity thing is from the prologue – _two families, both alike in dignity. _Secondly... here, let's explain it this way." He ripped out a page from his notebook. On it, he drew some circles and lines – the guidelines for a soccer field. "it's like... a massive soccer game! The Capulets are one team, and the Montagues are the other. They're feuding, right? Like they're two teams that both wanna win." He was getting really wound up now. "so THEN, TWO of the opposite team members fall in LOVE! It's like a total betrayal to their own team! No team spirit or sportsmanship, gasp!" Kukai was getting a crazy edge to his voice and Daichi was winding up for a character change. "AND SO, Tybalt, a member of the Capulet soccer team, takes a penalty against Romeo, the man who did this heinous crime! But his, er, defenseman, Mercutio, takes the blow instead which doesn't make Romeo too happy, so he scores a goal against Tybalt by killing him, and so then the referee isn't too happy about that for some reason so he sticks Romeo in the penalty box for the rest of the game!"

"AAAHHH!!!" I said, falling over in my chair. "I'm CONFUSED!!!"

After School 

I called my mom to tell her I would be staying late at the school library because I needed to study.

"OK, honey... Wait. STUDY? Like, SCHOOL?"

"yep," I said placidly. "bye."

Then I grit my teeth, and started reviewing all the material, and writing it down. _Good grades, good grades_, I told myself. _Don't repeat grade ten courses! No! _

_The greatest emperor during the Shang Dynasty was... can I have doughnuts, Ri-Ri-tan? _

_Shut up, Kanon! _I yelled at her in my head.

_Wanna character change? I KNOW all this stuff! _

"no!" I snapped out loud, making everyone look at me.

10:00 p.m.

I think I'm the only one left in the library. Spooky, really. The only noise is me turning pages.

That's when I realized I was out of lined paper, so I ran to the printer to "borrow" some when I saw Nagihiko, slumped over his books.

First thought: NOOO!!! Nagihiko committed suicide! In the LIBRARY!

Second thought: NOOO!!! Nagihiko passed out from lack of oxygen!

Third and smartest thought: He's sleeping.

I went over to try and wake him up, but _you _try waking up someone who looks so happy and peaceful. I'm pretty sure _I _look like demon spawn when I'm sleeping. Then he yawned and before I could change my mind I shook his shoulder gently (read: I didn't punch him). "Nagi? You fell asleep."

"Yeah I know, mom, five more min – Rima?"

"hello."

"you should be going home!" he said, repressing a yawn the size of Russia this time (bigger than Australia).

"look who's talking. Speaking of which, you talk in your sleep."

He flushed, which makes me wonder what he was dreaming about.

"stop studying," I ordered. "go home."

"I can't. I still don't know half the material."

"get real!" I said, shoving him towards the door. "this is _you _we're talking about, right? no me?"

He sweatdropped and I took advantage to give him a good shove. "I hate being the parent," I grumbled.

Then he started dragging me along. "then you're going home too,"

Stupid Mad Evil Genius.

Later that night. Which is really dark. 

"I'm glad it's summer," I said, making a pathetic attempt at making conversation. "otherwise it would be pitch black by now."

"yep," he said, falling over sideways.

"get off me!" I yelled. "you're HEAVY! What the HELL do you EAT?!"

"s-sorry. Just... tired...." he started coughing.

"you're sick!"

"no, I'm not! I'm a saint compared with Ikuto!"

"no, not that kind of sick, although I beg to differ. I mean, I think you're sick as in no going to school."

"I have to go to school," he said, stumbling. "finals..."

And then he tipped over sideways again. When I looked at him, he was ASLEEP. AGAIN.

"WAKE UP!" I yelled. Which, by the way, isn't very loud. My voice is little above a whisper. But whatever.

He yawned and woke up. "what?"

"nothing," I said, glaring. "just try to walk. And when you get home, you're going to SLEEP."

We passed my house, but I kept walking briskly. "I'm not letting you go home alone," I said monotonically, answering his unspoken question. "you'd fall asleep in the middle of the woods and a bear would eat you."

"hm?" he said sleepily.

"what?" I demanded. "why are you looking at me like that?" I'm not going to explain what _like that _looks like because... because... it's too hard.

"why do you talk in a monotone?" he asked.

I was silent. Then we passed into the woods, and I remembered the last time I was in here. Bears. Wolves. Yaya. All sorts of scary things that can cause you pain.

I gripped his shoulder, and he almost fell over. "what? What is it?"

"nothing," I said in a high voice.

"it's just a rock... it's not going to hurt you, Rima," snickered Nagihiko, and I felt like punching him.

A wolf howled.

"OK!" I shrieked and began talking quickly. "I have an irrational fear of the woods and I've talked quietly ever since I lost my voice for three weeks and my voice has never been the same since!"

"of the... woods?"

"at night," I clarified, giving him the if-you-tell-anyone-I'll-punch-your-lights-out look.

The wolf howled again, and I clutched at him frantically.

"they're not going to hurt you... as long as you don't bother them," he added. Then he yawned. A yawn the size of North America.

Later

By the time we finally reached Nagihiko's house (in the MIDDLE of the FEAKING FOREST) Nagihiko looked practically dead.

"my mom's going to kill me," he muttered at one point but that was about it.

His mother answered the door. I'm sorry, but she's RELALY SCARY. She was wearing a kimono but she had a face like a military general. I didn't expect her to be all sweetly, "oh, hello, Rima-chan!"

Nagihiko held the doorframe for support and I said pleasantly, "hello, Ms. Fujisaki. Nagihiko is suffering from a case of study-withdrawal. Please make sure he goes to bed and doesn't sneak up in the middle of the night to take a textbook out."

"Will do," she smiled. We both shot evil glares at Nagi, who had been scuttling towards the computer in the next room. He sadly stomped up the stairs.

"sure you wouldn't like to come in?" Nagihiko's mom asked politely. It was eleven o'clock. "nope," I said lightly. "bye."

Later later. By now, it's midnight. 

OK. I chickened out. that stupid wolf was howling again, and I started to feel like Little Red Riding Hood at one point. I kept having a mental image of Ms. Fujisaki calling out, "don't stray from the path, Ri-Ri-tan, or the Big Bad Wolf shall get you!" and then, as if to prove her point, the wolf would howl again.

So then I frantically brought out my cell phone I dialed Nagihiko's number.

"hullo?" he said sleepily on the other line.

"NAGII!!!" I whined into the phone. "IT'SALLDARKANDTHEWOLFISHOWLINGAGAINANDIBETTHEREAREWEIRDOSINTHEFORESTJUSTLIKEINFRUITSBASKET!!!

"w-what? The woods? O-oh!" Nagi was being kind of slow. I guess that was because I woke him up.

"Shhhhh," he told me. "I grew up here, for gods' sake. There are no weirdoes. H-here..." he stifled another yawn. "I'll talk you through it."

So then I made it through those horrid woods with only Nagihiko's voice to give me a reason to live.

Sigh.

First final exam tomorrow.

* * *

It worked! You may be reading this on a Wednesday, but I uploaded it on a Tuesday. Tuesday, May 12, 9:32 p.m. I stayed awake just for you guys! Yay!

And I made a super long chapter because I loves you. (Or I just don't know when to stop).

Our own school finals are actually coming up... (noooo!!!) and... ugh. I hate finals. They were a dumb invention.

And I need to beat this really annoying girl in my class at socials because that'll wipe the smirk off her face...

And I need to start doing my math or my teacher will hang me from the rafters...

But, anyway, the other day the counselor called me into her office (I thought I was in trouble). She wanted to 'get to know her grade eights'. How scary! Anyway, she asked me what I did and I was just like... "computer?" and she was like "any sports?" and I was like, "well, no. I don't' like sports." I'm pretty sure she now thinks I'm a social outcast who spends their life on Facebook. Then she was like, "what do you do on the computer?" "well, er, I write fanfiction. Like stories," I clarified. I don't' think she even knows what fanfiction _is. _But _stories _she could understand. So now my counselor thinks I'm a genius novelist who publishes their sophisticated novellas on the internet. LOOOOL.

Anyhoo, that's all. Byes!

– Tsuki-chii~*


	36. His Never Mind

Prologue

"TSUKI-SENSEIIII!!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, and threw open my door. There was that culprit – hurriedly trying to finish LATE WEEK's chapter.

"Oh..." Tsuki trailed off, and kind of grimaced. "Hello, Rima-chan."

"WHAT are you doing? What happened to your, "blah, blah, blah, update every Tuesday policy? You know what day it is?" I snapped at her. How the hell was she going to work up to the happily-ever-after climax if all she did was slack off?

"O-oh, well, er..." Tsuki-no-Kimi tried to think up an excuse. "Well, you see, I _really _wanted to watch this anime, Full Metal Alchemist, and it was super good so I had to watch more and see what happened, and so _then _I had to write a one-shot on FMA, OK?"

"what about your POOR readers?!" I said, attempting the guilt trip. "HUH?" I gestured to the flock of people off to the side. If I was not mistaken, a few of them actually had cat ears. "those poor things are going crazy because of the lack of chapters!"

"Uh – huh," said Tsuki reluctantly.

"and then you're totally disregarding me and Nagi!!!" I whined. "you _better _put something really hot about us doing it in the ending or something or you'll be sorry!"

"sorry I ever wrote a story about a spoiled brat like you," Tsuki said under her breath.

Nagihiko stuck his head in. "Did I hear my name? what's going on in here? Why are you in a conspiracy with the authour, Rima-chan?"

"She's FIVE days late with the chapter, Nagihiko!!!" I whined.

Nagihiko gave Tsuki a dark look. "Oh, that's harsh."

"WILL YOU ALL STOP TRYING TO MAKE ME FEEL GUILTY? LEMME GET ON TO WRITING THE STUPID STORY!" Tsuki screamed, whacking herself with the stapler – something she usually only did when Amu and Tadase started flirting during a Shugo Chara! episode.

The next day – June 7th. 

I frantically tried to study this morning, but nothing really sunk in. Which was depressing. And I really did try to eat breakfast, but nothing really went down.

UUUURGGGGHHH. BLAAAAHHHLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.

I will be so so happy when these things are finally written and done with.

Walking to school

Pretty much, what's going to happen is that all the grade elevens are going to write the test in the gym for an hour and a half, and then go home for the rest of the day.

Anyway, I ran into Amu on the way there, who just mumbled "hello".

"what's with you?" I said, staring.

"nothing! I'm just fine! Absolutely fine! Why do you ask?" she laughed like a demonic sheep.

Scary.

At the school 

There was a bit of time before the test started, and I told Amu if we tried to study I would die.

"fair enough," Amu mumbled. She was acting strange. VEEERRRY strange. Suspicious! Maybe she stole something.

I could see the headlines tomorrow: LOCAL GIRL TURNS KLEPTOMANIACAL. (Nagihiko word).

Science Final. Oh my god. Oh my giddy god. 

I have turned to Shinto to solve my problems as Vishnu, Jesus, and Allah all refuse to help me. Kami-sama of all holy, please let Nagihiko not have overslept. Stupid idiot. I bet he was up all night again!

Five minutes till starting. Amu keeps twitching and muttering, "Precipitation! Condensation! Evaporation!"

"Amu," I whispered. "where's Nagihiko?"

All she said was, "Perspiration! Constipation! Evacuation!"

Three more minutes till the final.

I stood up to look for Nagihiko, and my chair made a loud scraping noise against the gym floor. Everyone stared.

"be right back!" I said in a high-pitched voice, and scurried out of the room. I heard my chorus of fanboys singing in ten-part-harmony, "the Evanescence of Rima-sama! Observe!"

Nyaha.

The woods outside Nagihiko's house.

Nagihiko wasn't anywhere in the school. Nor (Nagihiko word) was he anywhere in the _neighbourhood_. So I had no choice but to go look for him near his house.

I looked at my watch, and almost screamed. THIRTY SECONDS UNTIL THE SCIENCE FINAL STARTED. Before I could scream, though, my feet took control and I ran through that damn woods like the devil himself was after me (this is a phrase I read in some old-fashioned book thing.) In fact, I even chucked a couple rocks at the two fat coyotes that got in my way.

That will teach them.

Nagihiko's House

I knocked on the door, and waited. And waited. And waited. I probably sat there for about five minutes before I gave up and tried the door. _Please let it not be locked_, I begged myself.

The handle stopped, and I realized it was locked.

Before realizing it was just jammed.

Suddenly, the door opened form the other side and Nagihiko came into view. Now, by now you're thinking, "Hooray! Rima-chan found Nagihiko and now they're going to write the final!" but, er it didn't really end up like that. Because the one minor flaw (I shouldn't use that word, because _I _didn't treat it like a flaw at all) was that he had no shirt on.

Now, I bet your thinking, "Lovely! Even better! Rima and Nagi are going to ditch finals and then dot dot dot!" **(A/N: this is a reference to Mamma Mia)**

Not really like that, either. I think I just stood there and gawked. Nagihiko kind of smiled weakly and said, "Rima-chan?"

"H-hello," I stammered, feeling my face go red.

Stupid Nagihiko bit back a grin. "your face is so red right now."

"why do YOU think, jerk!" I snapped at him.

"shut up, you little tsundere." The way he said it kind of made me think of one of those affectionate pet names, but it really was quite nasty. "I missed the final, didn't I?" he said miserably, but pulled on his uniform shirt anyway. "I totally overslept."

"where's your parents?"

"my mother's back in Europe again for a couple days." I was about to ask, _What about your father? _But I kept my mouth shut.

I tried to smile, but it probably looked more like a grimace. "It started ten minutes ago,"

He glared. "you idiot."

"what?"

"you get back there and take the stupid final!" he said harshly. "you're the one that _needs _the marks!"

"NO!" I yelled back. "YOU'RE the one that has a good shot at PASSING the stupid test!"

"big deal," he said, thankfully lowering his voice – Nagihiko yelling is most likely the weirdest thing you'll ever hear, like a chipmunk dying – "If I skip this final, I'll only get twenty percent of my mark of ninety-three, which would make it..."

"math isn't until the day after next!" I said, doing the big streaky-tears thing that those chibi-onion emoticons do. "I'm not leaving without you!"

_Rose! Jack! Rose! Jack! You stuck in that Titanic movie or are you going to TAKE THE EFFING FINAL?_ yelled Kanon in my head.

"yeah, Kanon's right... we'd better get going," said Nagihiko grudgingly.

I stopped dead. "what?"

"we have to get going, right?"

"but... Kanon... she spoke in my head and then..." I stared at him as if he had dropped from Mars. Nagihiko stared back at me, a look dawning on his face. "you mean, Kanon didn't speak out loud?"

"of course she didn't!" I exclaimed. "she spoke in my HEAD! So how did YOU hear it?!"

"I don't know!" (probably the only time he'll ever say that).

_I know why! _said Kanon. _It's 'cause you love him so your minds must..._

Nagihiko almost tripped, and we both stopped dead.

_THANKS A LOT, YOU JERK!!! _I yelled at Kanon as loud as I could in my head.

"Rima?" he said uncertainly.

"What? Can you still hear Kanon?" I said, feeling my heart pick up. It was like in the shojo manga, where all the flowers start blooming on the edges of the panels and "DOKI" in big letters is written everywhere. _Please say no. Pleeeeaaasseee say no. No? No. _

"yeah."

CRAP.

"She said I could hear her in your head, because..." we were almost shoulder to shoulder. "... you loved me?"

There was ringing silence.

"Rima?" he said gently.

For a minute, I was tempted to just nod. Say it. have it out there in the open. I mean, maybe he does.

But probably not.

Instead, I checked my watch, and almost screamed. "NAGIII!!!" I said, really screaming then. "WE'RE FIFTEEN MINUTES LATE!"

"only one thing to do, then," Nagihiko said placidly, jerking out of his reverie.

"what?" I was feeling a cliché aura, and I could almost predict what he was going to say.

"RUN!!!"

Back at the school

Nagihiko murmured, "don't worry. I have a plan."

A plan to get us pulverized?

A plan to get us expelled?

We were standing in the gym, and everyone had turned around to look at us as we walked in – actually, mostly Nagihiko, because the top two buttons of his shirt were still unbuttoned and all the females were eyeing him, save Yaya and Amu.

Komiya-sensei, the other grade eleven science teacher, marched up and glared at me. Not the demonic long-haired boy, but me. "Mashiro! Fujisaki! Explain yourselves!" she said in her military-general voice. "you are twenty minutes for the Science Final! This will result in a score of zero!"

There was a ringing silence, and we could almost hear everyone inwardly gasp.

"I understand," said Nagihiko quietly. "but..." then he looked up at Komiya-sensei, and he made his eyes go big and shiny, much like Tadase's when Yaya steals the last pastry from him. "please don't punish Rima-chan along with me. It's... It's not her fault."

Komiya-sensei rolled her eyes. "right. whatever."

Nagihiko suddenly hugged me and made his eyes go even bigger. "Our parents wouldn't have wanted this for her!"

"why would your parents care about her?" asked Komiya-sensei.

"we have the _same _parents," said Nagihiko, as if this was painfully obvious. I stiffened under his grip.

Komiya-sensei suddenly choked. "_WHAT?!_"

"I don't want my poor little sister to get in trouble," Nagihiko whined. And everyone gasped. Except for Yaya, who was looking painfully confused, and Amu who was trying not to laugh.

"she's your sister?"

Nagihiko nodded and said in a stage whisper so that everyone else could hear to me, "it's OK, Ri-chan. Onii-sama won't let you be a dropout." It was actually pretty funny. Particularly because Komiya-sensei was falling for it.

"Y-you're right," said Komiya-sensei, shaking her head and wiping away a tear. "I can't let you poor siblings be dropouts. We'll give you a thirty-minute extension on the science final." She turned stern again. "but DON'T be late again!"

As I walked to my seat, Sayuri started choking.

HAAAAAA.

After

"I can't believe Komiya-sensei fell for it, either," said Amu in awe. "you two look _nothing _alike."

"I fancy she was drunk," said Tadase, making everyone look at him in horror.

"what?" Tadase laughed weakly. "I saw her drinking tequila in the staff room before the exam."

Even the teachers don't like supervising finals! They're so desperate they try and drink themselves into stupors before the exam even starts.

And we'll have to go through it all again for the next week...

Epilogue

"do you approve?" asked Tsuki sarcastically.

"I suppose," I said loftily, handing back Chapter 36. "I can't believe we were that close to confessing!" I whined. "But noooo, I just _had _to look at my watch."

Amu walked past Tsuki's room and looked at her and me funny. "confessing? What the _hell _are you talking about?"

"NOTHING!" we both chimed back. I grabbed my bag with a defeated air, and Tsuki grabbed her long red Edward-Elric coat and bunny slippers. "NOW," said Tsuki Kimino, glaring at us accusingly, "If you don't mind, _Iiiiii _need to watch Kamichama Karin and Full Metal Alchemist!"

* * *

THERE. I HOPE Y'ALL HAPPY! I got the chapter out admittedly four days late, but out all the same! And Rima and Nagihiko's relationship is slowly building! (at least, I'd like to believe it is...)

Lately, I haven't been watching shugo chara. I'm three epsiodes behind, because when i saw the baseball episode i got so pissed off i went on a shugo chara-withdrawal. FILLERS. SUCK. END OF STORY. And so i better go watch the latest one so I cna treat you all to yet another fangirl rant~*

I'm also proud to announce that the results for the poll are in, and that the next chapter's crossover is going to be Gakuen Alice! Hoorays! But that'll be next chapter, which I'll TRY to update on time, this time. Ehheh.

– Tsukichii~*


	37. Bonus Story: Shugo Alice!

Introduction

Rima stomped in, making Tsuki jump.

"Oh, just go away, you demon spawn," Tsuki growled, turning up the volume on her speakers. "I'm _busy_."

Rima peeked over her shoulder, to see megavideo playing "Fullmetal Alchemist 17".

"DON'T CALL ME SHORT!" a small blond boy yelled on the screen.

Tsuki paused the anime episode and turned around stiffly, stretching her cramped limbs from being cooped up in the computer chair for so long. "Well? What is it, Mashiro?" she asked, scratching under her Haruhi brigade leader armband.

Rima glared off to the side. "_This _is it."

All the readers were jumbled up in the corner, glaring at her. Tsuki shuddered.

"Update every Tuesday, huh?" questioned meow120123.

"That's what she saaaaaiiid..." began Ivy34325.

"... but she didn't mention NOT LIVING UP TO IT! HUH?" finished Ice Amethyst 12.

"stop it! Jesus!" said Tsuki, rocking back in forth maniacally in her computer chair.

"We want our Gakuen Alice crossover!" yelled Chika Hoshi.

"UPDAAAAATTEEE!!!" called the readers, their voice reverberating around the room as they swayed back and forth in sync like a dense monster, while their chibi spirits leaked out of their mouths. "UPDAAAAATTTEEE!!! HURRRYYYY!!! BEFORE WE EEEAAATTT YOOOOOOOUUU!!!"

"RIGHT AWAY!" squeaked Tsuki-no-kimi, hurriedly opening up Microsoft Word.

* * *

"What _is _that?" Rima snapped at Tadase. He was on his newly acquired portable DVD player... again. "That's the most annoying song I've ever heard!"

The opening song that was irking Rima Mashiro so much seemed to be increasingly cheerful and had a lot of alarm rings and beeps in the chorus.

"I know this song," said Nagihiko serenely, shuffling through his 100-page essay. "It's by Kana Ueda."

"PIKAPIKANO... NYO ISH SHO NYO TAIYOU NIIIIIIII!!!!" screamed Kana Ueda out of the tiny built-in speakers.

Rima glared at it. "You're watching _shojo anime _on there, Tadase? What the hell's wrong with you?"

"Nothing's wrong with me," Tadase said loftily. The he melted back into a sweet-innocent-little-boy. "it's called Gakuen Alice and it's so happy and cheerful..."

Just at that moment, a voice came out of the speakers. "Hey, ugly!"

"Nice and cheerful," Rima said sarcastically. "was that the King of Happiness just there?"

"No, that was Natsume Hyuuga..."

"What are you _watching?!_" asked Amu when she came around later to see two blonds and a dark-haired figure huddled around the small screen.

"shut up," said Rima, her eyes glued to the screen. "Natsume's about to blow up the transvestite with his Fire Alice!"

"there's nothing wrong with Narumi cross-dressing," Nagihiko meekly reminded them, but they ignored him.

"AAHH!" said Amu in horror, looking at the blond teacher on the screen. "is that a guy or a girl?"

"we think it's a guy because he has no boobs," said Rima.

"that makes you a guy then, Rima-chii," said Nagihiko, grinning evilly at her. "OW!!"

"that's what you get," said Rima brusquely, waving her purse around threateningly.

"Nah," Amu shook her head. "no guy would be caught _dead _in that shirt."

"actually, I have a similar one at home," Nagihiko muttered, but no one heard him.

"Whatcha y'all doing, Amu-chii, Rima-taaaan?" said Yaya, flouncing up to the growing congregation. "WOOOOW!!! Sugoi-ne! That little blond boy has an Usa-chan! Chibiusa, chibiusa!" **(A/N: Sugoi = 'amazing' in this context. Usa-chan = childish way of saying 'Usagi' (Rabbit). Chibiusa = name of Sailor Moon's daughter, because what's Sailor Moon's real name? Usagi. "chibiusa" kind of is like "bunny".) **

"that's Ruka-pyon," said Tadase.

"who's the girl with the kawaii pigtails, Tada-chan?"

"Oh. Mikan."

"she has hair just like me!" said Yaya happily. "pigtails, desu!" Yaya was thoughtful for a few minutes.

"Yaya-chan? Are you OK?" asked Amu, peering around the screen at her.

"Let's..." she began, and her eyes sparked like a match. "Let's... USE THE ALTERNATE DIMENSION UNIVERSE MACHINE TO GET INTO GAKUEN ALIIIICCCCEEE!!!!"

*-*-*-*-*-*-*

Yaya, who was lugging the big refrigerator box out of school storage, kept muttering, "It's Yaya's nap-time."

"then go to sleep!" whined Amu.

"fine!" huffed Yaya. "but you have to stay here with me so that the monsters don't eat me during nap-time and so we can go into the alternate dimension when I wake... uuuuppp.... she slumped onto the desk and the ex-guardians assembled, grimacing as they did.

Yaya quickly fell asleep, and after a few minutes a scene came before her eyes.

"Rima-taaan!" Yaya cried. "your beautiful hair is all short now!"

Before Rima could answer, Amu came into view. Her pinky-purple hair was in two pigtails.

"HOTARUUUU!!!" Amu yelled, and tried to Glomp Hotaru-Rima.

Rima loaded her gun, which had appeared to make the noise and had hit her. "don't yell, dummy." Hotaru-Rima glared.

"Hotaru... Why are you so mean?" said Amu, tearing up.

"humph. Oh," said Hotaru-Rima, turning around, "it's Ruka-pyon. Ne, look, Ruka-pyon. I can sell these for a HUGE profit." She waved a stack of photographs.

"What?!" said Nagihiko, whose hair had gone blond. "HEEEYYY!!! IMAI! GET BACK WITH THOSE!" Yaya managed to get a look at the pictures – they were of Nagihiko-Ruka dancing all shiny-eyed with... a giant chick?

Hotaru-Rima hopped on a flying duck-thing and Nagihiko ran helter-skelter after her, yelling profanities. Amu ran after the load of them, before seeing Tsukasa humming and wandering off.

"NARUMI-SENSEI!" Mikan-Amu shouted, running after him. Narumi-Tsukasa smiled serenely. "Hello, Mikan-chan – Oh." A cat with a human body appeared to be trying to burn down the boundary wall.

"Shit – I mean, Oh Fiddlesticks!" said Narumi-Tsukasa, starting to hum the _Jaws _theme song. "That demonic kitty's trying to escape again. Try not to get exploded, Mikan-chan!"

"O-ok!" said Mikan, sounding extremely confused.

Tsukasa-Narumi skipped up and the person glared at him. Actually, he was almost as tall as Tsukasa for someone who was supposed to be an elementary school kid.

"Natsume?" asked Mikan-Amu curiously.

"Hush you. I'm trying to blow up this perverted jerk."

"NO!" yelled Mikan-Amu. "He's our teacher!"

"It's OK, Mikan-chaaaan... I have WHIPS!" said Tsukasa-Narumi, eyes glowing evilly.

"Whips?" demanded mask-guy. "See? Tell me that's NOT perverted, ugly!"

"I'm not ugly, you jerk!" Mikan-Amu yelled at him.

"Sure you're not. Then stop rolling your skirt up, you prostitute. I can see your panties."

Oh, yeah. There was something familiar about the way this guy talked.**(A/N: by now, you must definitely know who Natsume is...) **

Tsukasa-Narumi threw what looked like a bunch of lentils at Natsume, and that's when his mask fell off when he jumped to avoid it.

_It's IKUTO! _Thought Yaya.

"Mikan-chan! Natsume-san!" yelled a very feminine-sounding voice, skipping up along with Hotaru-Rima and Nagihiko-Ruka. It was... Tadase. With glasses.

"Oh, perfect," mumbled Hotaru-Rima. "Mikan's getting tangled up with the Black Cat again. Calm down, Iincho."

"A black cat... who brings nothing but MISFORTUNE!!!" said Iincho-Tadase dramatically.

"Don't say it like that," said Nagihiko-Ruka meekly to Hotaru-Rima. "It sounds sexual."

Hotaru-Rima raised an eyebrow. "Like it's not?"

"YES!" yelled Nagihiko-Ruka and Mikan-Amu at the same time. "IT'S NOT!"

Hotaru-Rima shrugged.

"YOOOOOOU!" yelled Iincho-Tadase accusingly, pointing a finger at Natsume-Ikuto.

"Oh hello, four-eyes," said Natsume-Ikuto distastefully.

Tsuki-no-kimi paused typing for a minute, at a loss for words, but a few glares from the peanut gallery got her hurrying on her way.

"You can't try and break out of Gakuen Alice, Natsume!" cried Iincho-Tadase tearfully. "It's our home!"

"as long as that Emo-Goth Persona is running the place, it's sure as hell not _my _home," said Natsume-Ikuto, glaring at Gozen. He was wearing a long black coat and a hell of a lot of jewelry and makeup.

"Naaaaastumeeee...." Persona-Gozen called creepily. "you were called on a miiiiiishuuuuunnn..."

"Oh, shut up, the fanbase doesn't even like you anyway," said Natsume-Ikuto, reluctantly climbing down the fence.

Tsukasa bobbed his head up and down like a bobblehead.

Tsuki-no-kimi pushed the keyboard in furiously. "It's no use!" she wept. "I don't want to write a crossover! I miss the normal Nagi and Ri-Ri-tan..."

"It's Rima!" cut in Rima furiously.

"...and Ikuto-chan and Amu-chi and Yaya-tan and maybe even Tada-gay," Tsuki finished.

"There, there," said Nagihiko, being kind and sensitive as usual. "Why don't you just cut this crossover short and get started on my bi- I mean, the next chapter. I'm sure the readers will understand." He gave the readers a sad look. "Won't you?"

"Y-yes," they all stammered, going red, and Rima started punching her hand threateningly.

"Then get started," said Ikuto in his low voice, closing Fullmetal Alchemist.

* * *

Edward Elric started crying.

"what's wrong, Nii-san?" asked Al, distressed.

"Stupid Tsuki-no-kimi is giving more attention to Shugo Chara! then she is to _me _and everyone else here at _Fullmetal Alchemist!" _said Ed sadly, as Al passed him his handkerchief. "Stupid fangirls, making her go back to the dark side!"

"But they _do _have cookies," reasoned Al, as Tsuki-no-kimi firmly ended the chapter.

* * *

I've returned to the dark side to get meh cookies! And to see you lovely readers again! Sorry I couldn't include you all in the introduction, but I daresay I'm liking writing myself into the story at the beginning more and more. –sigh-.

Sorry for the random interruptions in the middle of the chapter where I cry at my writer's block, it'll be gone after this (if I ever get comfortable with writing again...)

I'm sorry, Ed... –cries- I'll be back to watch FMA soon...

By the way, if you haven't watched FMA I highly recommend it, even if you don't like Shonen like Bleach or Naruto. Because I didn't like either... (Bleach has too many fillers, and I refuse to be even caught dead watching some dude in an orange snowsuit eat ramen), I didn't watch FMA until a while ago and now I'm a Roy Mustang fan! -waves banners-.

I'm also thinking about shortening the story to 40 chapters now. Because, I mean, I love this story so much and I wonder what I'll do without it (Tsuki-no-kimi = has no life) but it's sad that people have to read all 37 chapters! I mean, there are some real-life books that are shorter than that!

Anyway, a hint as to what the next chapter will be about is in Chapter 23 (His Big Fat Kabuki Book). Look for the dates mentioned in 23 if you want to get anywhere!

--

**Mysteries That Will Be Solved in Chapter 38:**

Nagihiko's father.

The date and time.

Why Naghiko has Bella Syndrome (BS for short... HA!)

Why that old lady that lives in the Fujisaki house is so weird.

--

- Tsukichii~*


	38. His Weird Japanese Dancing Similes

**(A/N: In an effort to be non-OC, I re-watched Shugo Chara episode 9 and 25 over again (the one where Amu sleeps over at Nadeshiko's, and the one where she's so confused she goes back and meets "Nadeshiko" in all his masculine hotness xD) I'm going to try and stop making Nagi OC this chapter. The more I write this, the more I realize that a lot of the stuff Nagi/Rima says isn't very canon. SO if they sound kinda different, that's why...) **

* * *

June 4th, two days later

The finals are nearly done! We've already written the Science, English, and Math finals. All that's left is Japanese and World History.

Surprisingly, the English final was pretty easy. I was finished in half the time as everyone else. Of course, that might be because now I can write quite quickly, thanks to having to scribble down every second thing in my diary...

Later

Tadase asked brightly if anyone wanted to quiz him on the kanji alphabet, and we all fell on the floor, groaning. There _is _such a thing as too much studying. We were all sitting outside, at the mercy of the boiling sun. I swear temperatures have reached an all-time high and it's times like these where I wish I was in Australia, where it's winter right now.

Meanwhile, Nagihiko was just staring off into space. And the sad thing was? He got away with it!

"HEY!" I snapped, whacking him over the head with my World Connections textbook. "Wake up! Space-cadet-free-zone!"

"What?" he said, and then shook his head furiously like he was in a shampoo commercial. (He does this really annoying hair-flick thing that I thought only girls did. If he's particularly angry, he'll start flicking his hair. Flick, flick, flick. It's enough to drive you insane).

"you were staring off into space, Nagi!" accused Yaya. "NO MORE DAYDREAM!"

"Heh. Sorry, Yaya-chan," he grimaced.

I picked a binder off the floor. "Nagi, how did this get on the floor?"

"I was taking my anger out on it. Give it."

I looked in horror at it. "It's so... so... ORGANIZED!"

"What's wrong with that?" he demanded.

I started flipping through. "Frightening! He has all the notes! And there are no doodles in the margins." I flipped to the back, and various scribbled and scrunched-up-pieces of paper met my eyes. "THAT'S more like it! so much paper! Isn't this our grade-nine schedule back here?"

"It's all organized except for the back!" said Captain Obvious. (read: Yaya).

I froze as I found a bunch of sketches at the back. "Hey, this is Amu-chan. You drew her? look... here's Tada-gay, too."

"Now, Mashiro-san, that's a bit harsh!" said Tadase, sweatdropping. "I'm totally straight... I think," he added as an afterthought.

"And here's Yaya!" exclaimed Amu, happily flipping through. "Boy, does she look high."

I looked at Nagihiko with an almost pitying look. "You're barely masculine at all."

"There's nothing remotely feminine about drawing, is there?" he asked, tilting his head to one side so that his hair made a _swishing _noise. That was getting REALLY annoying as hell and I could tell he was doing it on purpose.

"Yeah, there is..."

"Fine," he grumped. "It's not my fault I'm not pigeon-holing myself into masculine activities like mowing the lawn or fixing the roof."

"Speaking of fixing things, that damn useless janitor should fix the stupid air conditioner!" whined Amu, flopping down in the shade. Today, one of her latest punk-Goth outfits had black on it (which Mr. Science Genius, aka Nagihiko tells me absorbs heat) and little metal bangles that are heating up in the sun so we're really not giving her any sympathy. She still had Nagihiko's little binder of horrors in her hands. "Hey, look... here's Rima-chan! Except you didn't finish it."

"Oh, so I'm worthy enough to be unfinished?" I said icily, and Nagihiko sweatdropped. "No! Not like that..."

"Nope, here's another one of Rima. Still unfinished. With a lot of eraser marks," continued Amu happily. "Another one... and _another _one... you draw a _hell _of a lot of Rima, Nagi."

We both went red, and Nagihiko made a desperate lunge for the binder. Luckily, Nagihiko is really good at tackling people (especially if it means pulling an Alice Cullen and playing dressup on Tadase and Kukai – a very pleasant memory is the time he dressed them up as girls. Ah, you couldn't even tell Tada-gay's gender...)

Anyway, he didn't get it, and Amu held it in the air. "Oh, this one's finished! You're smiling, Rima-chan! Wonder when Nagi was able to catch you smiling?"

Kukai coughed, "stalker."

I looked at it. I was laughing in the sketch, with Amu in the background yelling at her charas.

"I remember where this was," I said unexpectedly. "That was the day Kiseki held yet another stupid embryo meeting and Miki stuck a 'kick me' sign on his back."

We all snorted at the happy memory.

"You can't blame me for laughing," I said emotionlessly. "especially when Yoru kicked him and he smacked against the wall."

Yaya fished out another piece of paper. "Hey! This is Nagi's boarding pass from the time we went to Hamburger-land!"

"... you mean the United States," corrected Tadase.

"Yeah!" said Yaya, totally oblivious. "Fujisaki Nagihiko, Type AB. What's that mean?"

"it means he's critical and indecisive according to blood type superstition." I told no one in particular. "Stupid! They should be manipulative."

Amu laughed. "Ikuto's type AB too!" **(A/N: No, seriously, he is. Peach-Pit told meh so. Just like me! I'm type AB like Nagi and Ikuto. W00t!) **

We all stared. "What?"

"How do yooooooouuu know that?!" demanded Tadase.

"NOOOO REASON!" said Amu in a high voice.

I started humming, "stalker, stalker, stalker Amu-chan," under my breath. "What type are you, Amu?"

"I'm Type O. Social and outgoing."

Tadase said, "I think I'm Type B."

We all stared.

"Crazy and selfish?" I snorted. "Yeah, right."

Tadase laughed weakly. "guess they're all not that accurate, I guess."

_Poing. _

Tadase character-changed suddenly. "WELL! IF THEY'RE NOT ACCURATE, THEY MUST BE ANNIHILATED! OH-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO! JACK! I WANT COOKIES!"

"OK," said Nagihiko absent-mindedly, and he began to wander off. Me and Kukai dragged him back and I said, "Don't do what he says, idiot! He's crazy and selfish right no... wait a minute, here. so Tada-gay is loony and narcissistic, after all."

Yaya kept reading out Nagihiko's boarding pass. "born June 4th, 1993. blah, blah blah..."

Amu, Tadase and I choked. "_TODAY?" _

"No, baka! 1993 is already over!" said Yaya being typically happy, oblivious, and stupid.

Nagihiko buried his face in his hands and Amu started hitting him. "why didn't you tell us it was your birthday! huh, huh, huh?"

"I don't like parties," said Nagihiko, wincing.

"Jesus, you're like Bella Swan from _Twilight. _Who doesn't like parties?" I demanded. I immediately regretted it. It was kind of mean. Actually, everything I say is kind of mean. Why am I only noticing it right now?

"Me," he said stubbornly, a crease forming in between his eyebrows.

Later **(A/N: I started writing this section right after finishing 25, so some stuff might be a bit Shugo-Chara-cliché. Also where you'll start to be like :o Nagi-kun's different!)**

I was walking along, wallowing in my own self-pity and tripping over my own feet when I happened to look up. Nagihiko was sitting ON THE ROOF OF THE SCHOOL. How did he get up there?

"How did you get up there?" I asked. He just gave me his little evil smile and said, "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies, Ri-Ri-tan."

I glared at him.

"Jumped," he admitted.

"Off of?" I enquired.

"the ground, dummy," he replied, smirking.

"It's about ten meters up!" I yelled in disbelief. "do you have superhuman bouncing abilities or something?!"

"No, I'm just ninja." I stared. "Just kidding," Nagihiko added, grinning.

Well, I wouldn't be surprised if he was a ninja on top of everything else, I thought to myself. Then I spotted the metal ladder rungs on the side of the building. "Liar. You climbed up!"

"Yeah, but your face was HILARIOUS!" he cried, and fell on top of the roof tiles laughing his head off. He was still laughing when I joined him on top of the roof.

He was up there _studying. _Oh, my god. I personally couldn't read another word!

I yawned and flopped down, because the sun was so hot and had been up until one o'clock doing my summer homework last night. I shut my eyes for a few minutes. When I opened them, I came face to face with Nagihiko. _He had been watching me sleep! _

"sorry," he smiled, all though he didn't sound very sorry at all. "You look so cute when you sleep."

I remembered something Miki had said once: _"Nagihiko's so cool. But that's what PLAYBOYS portray on the outside!" _

"You're just a playboy," I grumbled and he froze in horror. "Na-Nani? I'm no Ikuto!"

"Mmmm-hmmm," I replied, unconvinced. "at least you have some defining character trait, now. _Playboy._"

"What's yours?" he asked playfully, and quickly sobered when he saw my look. "What is it? Something's wrong."

Looking in the other direction, I said slowly, "Do you think I'm mean?"

He looked surprised, and seemed to be on the verge of speech, when I kept talking. "I'm always mean to people. It's sad. Am I just a cold, mean person? Why? and if so, why are any of you friends with me? Is it because you have that strange clinical condition where you like being rebuffed repeatedly?"

Nagihiko hid a smile. "It's called Algolagnia, and it's related to sexual fetishes."

I flushed. _Oops. _

"Cheer up, I know what you mean." He smiled, and got a dreamy look in his eyes. "You know," he said thoughtfully, staring at the clouds overhead. "People tend to make judgments on the way things appear. But someone's true self may turn out completely different from their appearance. Don't you think?"

It was a minute before I realized he was directing the question at me.

"O-oh," I stammered. "I suppose." Actually, I had been thinking about how California rolls look so weird, like alien food, on the outside and they're actually good but I think he meant people.

"Like you," he went on. "You seemed really stoic, impassive and cold when I first met you."

"Hey!"

He smiled. "But then, after seeing your character change, I thought that there might be more depth. It's been only just recently I've discovered what a dynamic person you really are."

"I'm not a dynamite person!" I told him.

He laughed again. "Dynamic. Like, changing."

I thought about that for a minute.

"Like I discovered about how much things you really hide, like your family situation, so not to inconvenience other people. How you're always writing. You can't sit by and watch someone get hurt... you just put out a selfish impression to direct attention away from yourself."

"Oh, the irony." I said. "You're the one that made everyone think you were kind and polite."

"I was forced into that," he corrected. "I was just kind and polite so that people would like me. You were the only one that didn't fall for it, and that surprised me." he smiled... actually, it was more of a leer. "That's when I realized why Amu-chan must like you. I mean, you must have obviously seen through her 'cool and spicy' act right away and to the kind and caring personality that lies beneath. That's your talent, Rima-chan. You can see through barriers that people put up. I think that will be useful, some day."

He then jumped off the roof, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

Even later, after school.

Nagihiko was up on the roof again. He seems to really like it up there. He was studying again.

"Hi," I greeted him, and he put the binder down and gave me the ever so rare Mad-Genius grin. "Just can't stay away, can you, Ri-Ri-tan?"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT!" I yelled.

"Oh, shush, you're making my ears bleed."

"Whatcha doing?" I said. He ignored me. I peeked over his shoulder and saw me. He was drawing me AGAIN. NASTI! In this one, my eyes were all big and glowy.

"when was this one drawn from?" I questioned him and he colored slightly. "When I was delivering my lecture. You're eyes were all big and shiny."

"Hardee har har."

He grinned slightly and turned the page. Suddenly, a piece of paper fell out. a photograph?

"hey," I said in surprise. "these are the guardians! Before I came! Woah... you don't look like a guy at all."

Nagihiko smiled happily. "Yeah. Look. I'm wearing a skirt."

Another one was behind it that I didn't notice. It was of...

"Nagihiko? Is this you?" I asked. It looked exactly like him, but with deliberate mistakes. He looked way older, with darker eyes that were rounder, and his shoulders seemed broader. Weird.

Nagihiko stiffened. "No. that's my father."

"Oh," I said, feeling sorry I brought it up at all. "Sorry."

"No. No, it's okay. Um..."

"...?" I stayed silent.

"Well," he said, twisting his dark blue-purple hair around his finger madly, "I've never met him. Not that often, anyway. He was never around when I was growing up. He's famous... on TV... and stuff. He does Japanese dancing under a female name as well," he shuddered. "So, he never really was there for my birthday. every year my mom called him, but I guess he forgot. I don't think he even _wanted _a son. He always wanted a daughter so that she could carry on the tradition. It was part of the reason I agreed so willingly to having to wear skirts." LOL. "When I left Europe to come back and fill in the Jack's chair..." he trailed off, and started up again faster. "He wasn't very happy at all. He yelled at me, said I shamed the Fujisaki name and blah, blah, blah."

I bit my lip to stop from crying, but nothing escaped Nagihiko's hawkeyes.

"don't cry," he comforted me. "He doesn't give a damn. And I still have my mother ("The military general?" I said) and my housekeeper." He stared thoughtfully at the poofy clouds again. "Although, I think she might be inhaling the Lysol again. High as a kimono collar."

Him and his weird Japanese-dancing similes.

I grabbed his hand and dragged him off the roof. He looked at me quizzically and smiled. "Come on," I told him. "why don't we throw you a party now?" I smiled. Yes, actually smiled. "You just said yourself, you still have your mother and your druggie housekeeper! And then we can take another picture to add to yours and Amu's dorky Guardian Picture collection."

He rolled his eyes. "This playboy can't say no to the cute girls."

* * *

When I re-watched the episodes, I was so shocked at how different they were from the 'proper' characters, how far they've drifted... *sniff* I might as well have gotten an X-egg on my writing abilities.

So now I really, REALLY want to re-write the whole thing so that the dialogue is right for Amu and Nagi... but I've gotten so far in writing this thing that I don't want to. So, I guess I'll just keep the precious OC Nagi that I know so well... oh well. However, Nagihiko's character WILL be going through some character adjustments in the next chapters. Hopefully you won't even notice! But you might -_- *drools absent-mindedly*.

I actually planned to make Nagihiko's father dead until I watched episode 9 and realized he was very much alive. Boo. But Yaya mentioned that he was on TV, so that's where I got the idea to make him a tragic father who is too busy for his little son. Isn't it tragic... and aren't I a sadist... but don't you think it turned out well?

Anyway, I also watched the music festival episode.

WTF.

**Amu: oh! Ikuto's being controlled by Easter! I can't go to a music festival...**

**Tadase: *puppy eyes* **

**Amu:... YEAH! LET'S GO TO TEH MUSIC FESTIVAL! YA W00T!**

**Tsuki-no-kimi: *throws popcorn: FUCK YOU!**

*ahem* sorry about that swearing session there.

Anyway, let's hope it's beta next epi. Or maybe just another Lulu "?" Egg episode. CRAAAAP.

But this can't go on forever. My prediction is that as soon as Gozen goes kablewy we'll get some Humpty-Dumpy stuff (with the lock and key, that is). I mean, that's one of the rare unresolved issues here.

Anyway... *goes all Shugo-Chara-happy* This! Is who I want to be! Do your best and go! Believe in your heart's egg and dreams will come true, just wait and see, 'cause the magix in you and the magix in me... we are the winx, come join the club, we are the winx...

Tsuki-no-kimi ---------------- has been watching too much "Winx Club", A non-anime kid's show about fairies who add "X" onto the ends of nouns.

I also took a test on who my guardian chara should be. I got Temari, whoot! I want to see who everyone else got, so takey test here:

http://www (.) quizilla (.) com/quizzes/6152001/who-is-your-guardian-character-shugo-chara

- Tsukichii~*


	39. His Birthday Party of Horrors

**CAUTION: This chapter of 'Rima Can't Spell' contains dangerously high levels of the poisonous substance known primarily as 'fluff'. If 'fluff' is huffed, swallowed, or read about in large quantities such as in this chapter of fanfiction, it can be dangerous to your sanity and outlook on life. Symptoms include smiling, aww-ing, warm fuzzy feeling in abdomen, nausea, or vomiting. Muscle pain or weakness could be a sign of a rare but serious side effect. A simple blood test may check for liver problems. And don't forget: You no read fluff, no you ending up the type of person that listens to Hilary Duff! **

June 7th

1:00

"You really don't need to throw me a party," Nagihiko meekly reminded us. "Besides, it's improvised. You haven't had time to do anything."

"improvised?" I said. "We've had three days."

"Yes, three days!" whined Yaya. "lighten up, Nagi-kun."

I walked through the forest, no fear at all now. Amu said nervously, "Wasn't there another way to get to your house? I remember there not being this much forest."

"We bought the land the other houses were stuck on and re-planted trees here," said Nagihiko airily.

"That must have cost a fortune, though!" exclaimed Tadase.

"And it did," said Amu, weakly smiling.

"Very funny. I'm not _that _rich," mumbled Nagihiko. "Oh. We're here."

"Your house wasn't THIS big!" I said, my mouth practically dropping open.

"That's because you went through the _back _door," said Nagihiko placidly as though that explained everything.

Later

"Cake?" said Nagihiko blankly. "We don't have cake."

"Didn't your mom buy you one for your birthday?" Kukai enquired.

"Oh, believe me, she wanted to," said Nagihiko darkly. "But I didn't let her."

Yaya was rifling through the fridge – AKA, giant cold room like that you see in grocery stores. "You don't have ANY snack food, Nagi! What's the deal, huh?"

Nagihiko smiled. "Dancers don't eat snack food. We eat organic food bursting with carbohydrates and fluids and nutrients."

"Sounds disgusting," I said mercilessly.

"It is," he agreed.

Just then, his mother stuck her head in and grinned ear to ear. "Rima-chaaan! You're back! And Hinamori-san," she added as an afterthought. Everyone else might as well have been potatoes. "Nadeshiko," her mother began, ("that's not my name," muttered Nagihiko but his mother pretended not to notice) "You have dance practice now."

Nagihiko grimaced. "It's my birthday. How heartless." Funny, he doesn't want a party, but he uses it to his advantage.

His mother turned stern. "This is the fifth time in a row you've ran off somewhere when it's time to practice. Just because you skipped home from Europe unscathed, you're not getting out of practice. You want to show your lovely friends what a good dancer you are, don't you?"

We all said "YES" very loudly, and Nagihiko said "NO."

"What's wrong with us watching, Nagi?" said Amu innocently. "You seemed pretty good when I watch you."

"Yeah? Let's put it this way... Hotori's going to look straight after you see me dance."

"Hey!" protested Tadase, but everyone ignored him and tramped off to be a hindrance to Nagihiko. Oh, scratch that... _Nadeshiko. _Hee hee.

In the gigantic room thingy. 

Nagihiko was avoiding everyone's eyes as he shuffled out in his kimono. His pink kimono. HAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! He kept shooting glares at his mother who was sitting primly on the side with us. and then he started to dance.

OK, truthfully Amu wasn't exaggerating when she said he was 'good'. Rather, understatement of the year. He moved like water, where you can't distinguish any of the steps because he was doing it so naturally.

Curse people who can do more than five steps without falling over.

Then Nagihiko's mom was like, "Why don't you try again, Amu-chan?"

"E-eh?" stammered Amu. "I tried it once. I _sucked!" _

"Don't worry, that was just in comparison to _me!" _said the Egotistical Maniac. (Aka Nagihiko.)

Naighiko's mom, who seemed to want to torture us because she was bored, asked us if any of us wanted to try."

"sorry," said Kukai cheerfully. "I tore a ligament in soccer practice."

"I'd rather watch Fujisaki-san," said Tadase primly.

"I'd rather continue to eat my meat bun," said Yaya.

"I'd rather shove a hot poker down my throat." I said.

Nagihiko's mother started to leer evilly. "Weelll... what kind of excuse is thaaaat?"

"A good one?" I said hopefully.

"Don't make me do it alone, Rima-chan!" Amu begged.

"Aw, I'll go ahead and make you," I said nastily.

Nagihiko dragged me over. "Come on. It'll lessen the agony if you and Amu-chan are doing it."

"NO." I told him, but he gave me a kimono anyway.

Grrrrrrrr.

Later

"You're wobbling again," Nagihiko gleefully told me.

"It's all your fault. You made me do this anyway," I grumbled.

"And your foot's not in the right place," said Amu, trying not to laugh.

"She's doing remarkably well for a beginner," said Nagihiko's mom hopefully.

"Yeah," cackled Nagihiko. "Only because most people give up."

"Shut up, you jerk," I snapped. I then began to fake cry.

"She's faking it?" said Nagihiko and Ms. Fujisaki at the same time. Creepy.

"N... no... I'm not," I sniffed.

"Yes, you are," they both told me at the same time.

"What? Aren't they real?" said a bewildered Amu and Yaya.

"Impressive," said Mrs. Fujisaki, nodding sagely. "We should scout her. Those tears would be a hit in the kabuki theatre. With a bit of dancing practice."

"With a lot," corrected the housekeeper. "Oh... Hanako-chan, young master... I see Jesus!"

It seems she was high off the Lysol again. Sigh.

"Uh-huh," I said reluctantly.

"To have her shipped off to Europe?" said Nagihiko pleasantly. "You wanted to scout Amu-chan, too. Maybe you just have a fetish for little girls."

Nagihiko's mother choked on her green tea.

Later Later

We tried baking a cake. _Tried... _

"NO!" I yelled, pushing Nagihiko back into the living room. "WE'RE GOING TO MAKE THE CAKE! WITHOUT ANY ASSISTANCE!"

Tadase was being gay with the flour. His hair was starting to look like Zero Kiryu's from _Vampire Knight. _Yaya was just dancing around, eating chocolate chips. That left me to sit on the counter and tell Amu what she was doing wrong.

"Don't you have any faith in me, Nagi?" Amu whined.

"No. You're mixing that wrong. And you have to use a smaller whisk."

"You know what? SCREW THIS!" she yelled, and her X-shaped hairclip suddenly turned into a green clover. Oh, crap.

"Nyaha!" giggled Amu. "Fun, happy, sweet fluffy cake-chan!"

Me and Nagihiko sweatdropped.

Later Later Later; 4:00 pm.

"Well, it turned out OK," admitted Nagihiko. "Probably only because of Su."

"Su rarely gets to purify X-eggs, so the least she can do is help Amu-chan with her horrendous baking skills, desu!" said Su happily.

"Yeah, that's – HEY! MY BAKING SKILLS AREN'T HORRIBLE!" yelled Amu.

"Yes, they are." Nagihiko meekly reminded her of the time they had baked cookies or something and Ikuto had come in.

"And that was how the lovely nickname, 'hentai cosplay neko' was born,' said Nagihiko, chortling.

"Affectionate nicknames, huh?" I said innocently and Amu turned white and froze chibi-style.

"Thieving cat." Tadase reminded us.

Nagihiko started to twist his hair and flick it, which was what he does when he's bored.

5:30

Ms. Hinamori came to pick Amu up, along with Tada-gay's dad. I've never even seen his dad. Looks pretty damn normal compared to Mr. Founding King.

Later later Yaya's mom came, along with Tsubasa, her younger brother. He's really spoiled, even more than Yaya if that's believable. Kukai gave me an evil grin as he announced he had to go home too.

It was a couple of minutes until I remembered something.

"Oh, crap!" I said, my eyes going wide in horror.

"What? Brain aneurysm?" said Nagihiko hopefully. (he's doing a project on them. He keeps hoping someone's going to get one at school so that he can crack open the brain and look at it. Freak).

"No," I said. "I forgot to give you a present!"

"Oh, no. don't start with that. You know I hate parties, but don't make me suffer through the presents. Besides, you don't have to get me anything."

I'd forgotten how sharp his persuasion skills were. Also how easy it was to talk to him.

"I still should have. But I didn't know what you would want." I thought for a minute, debating what I should do.

"Eh. Nothing, really. I don't want anything in particular." He had the mildly uncomfortable look that good actors get when they lie. **(A/N: Huh. Wonder what Nagi could want?... oh dear. I'm getting that Christmas song about all I want stuck in my head).**

"Uh-huh," I said. This seemed to be turning into my catchphrase. "Okay, I can guess one thing anyone would want."

"Oh, yeah? What's that?"

My heart beating frantically, I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. (Know what this means? Wrong! It means I'm getting taller if I don't have to stand on my toes anymore!)

I smiled. "Happy Birthday." I turned to leave, but Nagihiko held my face in his hands before I could do anything and kissed me on the mouth. Again. So that's my second kiss, gone. **(A/N: Wrong, RiRi. It's your third, but you just don't' know it. Hee hee.)**

"There." Nagihiko gave me an equally diabolical grin. "Now I returned the favour."

* * *

OK, back~. Desu.

SQUEEEEEEEEE. They kissed. Again. And sorry if you sensed any Special A moments in that scene... I love the TakishimaxHikari pairing too much.

OK, I would have updated sooner, but I was having to much fun messing around and making my own Shugo Chara. Ehee hee. I started making my own when I discovered that there are no "make your own Shugo Chara" flash games on the internet. It's really quite fun and addicting, so if anyone else wants their own Shugo Chara made by a suckish amateur, PM me with:

- their name

- which base do you want – I make them based off the original charas, so Iru, Eru, Daichi, Yoru, Ran, Miki, Suu, Pepe, KusuKusu, Temari or Kiseki.

- description: this includes eyes, hair, outfit (depending on what base they are) and shoes. And other stuff like bat wings sticking out of their head or whatever else you kids do these days (of course, Imma kid too. Oh well).

No... seriously. Don't be shy if you don't want to bother me; I have too much time on my hands and are extremely bored and would be delighted to do some fun creative thing in my spare time.

My Shugo Chara, Miyu, can be found here (just take out the brackets... and sorry Miyu-chan's so itty bitty): http://img19 (.) imageshack (.)us/img19/175/myshugocharamiyu (.) png

I'm probably just grumpy and being a bad writer because I'm tired. I can't fricking sleep anymore thanks to Pigeon and his drinking buddies! You thought pigeons didn't make any noise? Wrong. They make a noise like broken plumbing, and then their drunk friends join in, and then you wake up at four o'clock to pigeons cooing outside your bedroom window!

Grrrrrr.

And we were also evicted. Lovely! We have to be out of there by August. Which means that we won't get the computer hooked up very quickly, so I must be separated form the precious internet. And I'm going to summer school in July, and I have to go on the doomed bus! Aaaahhhh! There are monks on the freaking bus that are going to eat me! And for the month of August, if I'm not bugging my elders to set up the computer, we might be going to the computer-less northern BC. And, of course, my finals are coming up in less than a week.

With all these combined factors, you can see why my summer is going to be very, very busy. So updating is gonna be pretty tough. So, please understand if the summer is going to be less updating as usual (which is ironic, since I thought I'd have more time to write at my leisure during the summer).

Anyway, I hope you all have a good summer! Unless you're still going to be in school in July like in Japan, in which case... I'm in the same boat as you now, thanks to summer school. *sniff*.

And.... those are my crappy life ramblings for today. *yawn* I'll do my Shugo Chara rant later...

- Tsukichii~*


	40. His Hair

Rima walked in to tell Tsuki-chan off, yet AGAIN, for being such a slacker. Of course, it had to be Nagihiko she ran into instead.

_Craaap, _Rima thought to herself.

"Oh," he said, fighting back a sick grin as usual. "Hello."

"DON'T GIVE ME THAT 'HELLO' CRAP, YOU SHAMELESS PLAYBOY!" Rima suddenly started yelling in crazy chibi-mode. She started stamping her feet like she was playing "Mega Butterfly Remix" Heavy on a broken DDR mat. "DID YOU EVEN _READ _THE LAST CHAPTER? HUH?!"

"Mhm," said Nagihiko happily. "Tsuki-sensei showed me."

"IT WAS HORRIBLE!" Rima lied.

"No it wasn't, you idiot!" Miyuka Kokoro shouted. "It was KAWAII!!!"

"Yeah!" Amuto-fan-Neko-san yelled.

"You liiiked it," teased Nagihiko. "You wanna kiiiisss meee...."

STOMP. STOMP. STOMP. Rima whacked her Mary Janes on the floor as she stomped away.

"AAAIIGGH!" she suddenly screamed. Her foot went through the floor and she found the bottom half of her body sticking down to the basement.

Nagihiko snorted, and Tsuki-no-kimi conveniently ran in just in time.

"OH MY GOD!" she yelled.

"We know, we know! Help Rima!"

"What?" said Tsuki-no-kimi, taken aback. "I was talking about the floor! Hardwood doesn't come cheap, you know!"

Nagihiko rolled his eyes, but Tsuki held up a piece of paper as she ignored Rima. "Check it out, Nagi! I've written by special-edition DOUBLE rant on Shugo Chara! Doki episodes 85 and 86 for today's chapter!"

"U-uh..." Nagihiko sweatdropped as he pulled Rima out of the hole she had made in the floor. "Shouldn't you work on your chapter as well?"

"Wet blanket," Tsuki grumbled. "You sound like my mother."

Here we go...

June 9th

I rocked back and forth in my desk chair maniacally. This isn't happening. I mean, yeah, last time it was all IKUTO'S FAULT and it was a GAME. This time, not so much.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA;WOEIR S;DBLAHSKIFAGASS.

Kanon is doing a stupid happy dance, she's so thrilled. It's really quite sickening.

Fujisaki Rima... that actually sounds okay...

NO IT DOESN'T! IT MOST DEFINITELY DOESN'T! I'M ONLY SIXTEEENNNNN!!!!!!!!! God, I sound like Ms. Psycho.

Heh.

I just had an interesting thought.

Tsukiyomi Amu.

Tadase Amu.

Souma Amu.

Sanjo Amu.

Eh heh heh heh heh.

Quite personally, I think 'Tsukiyomi Amu' has a nice ring to it, but 'Souma Amu' doesn't sound so bad either...

Arg, Amu would kill me if she read this.

The next day; June 10th

I quietly slunk into homeroom.

Of course, conveniently Nagihiko is in my homeroom. I still have a memory of the beginning of the year and looking at the homeroom list and going, "WHAT?! I'm with THAT jerk?!", pointing at Nagihiko who sweatdropped.

Ungh.

"Late again, Mashiro." Said Mr. Demonic Incubus. (Nagihiko words... crap.)

Of course, his real name is Daiichi, but Kukai tells us that sounds too much like his Shugo Chara's name for us to call him that.

"Now, sit down." Mr. Demonic Incubus ordered me.

"Yes, Demoni – I mean, Daiichi-sensei."

Amu snorted, and I sat down in the first seat I saw so that I stayed far, far away from the Evil Mad Genius. Who always, by the way, never listens and remains the teacher's pet anyway.

"Order of buisness," he said in a sing-song voice. "First, announcements. Then, study period. Thirdly..." he leered at us unpleasantly, which means we all knew what was coming. "... you're all going to clean up the classroom!"

"Nooooo!" we all whined.

Mr. Demonic Incubus plopped down in the chair, which creaked under his weight. The poor chair looked like it was about to explode from having someone as fat as Mr. Demonic Incubus in it.

Hee hee hee.

"Now," he said, ignoring the chair's screams of pain, "as you may know, the Cultural Festival is coming up soon now that exams are over."

"What?!" I said loudly, and everyone snickered. Mr. Demonic Incubus regarded me coldly. "Yes, Mashiro. If you actually ever listened to announcements, you might have known that."

I glared at him.

"Anyway, we'll get our class rep to explain that... while I get my coffee," he mumbled.

"we have a class rep?" I said again before I could stop myself.

"Yes," said Mr. Demonic Incubus. "Perhaps if you focused as much on paying attention as you do to reading gag manga under the desk, you might notice that."

"Have a nice coffee, Demoni – Daiichi-sensei," I said pleasantly. "Although those cafeteria ladies are in a very bad mood and are going to go on strike against the teacher's union for a higher pay raise, of _course _they'll still give you _nice, normal, HEALTHY AND UN-SPIKED _coffee. After all, what did you ever do to them?"

Mr. Demonic Incubus stiffened as he walked out of the room.

Sucker.

Later

"Wait, so who's our class rep?" I asked again as soon as Demonic Incubus was out of the room.

"DUH!" said someone suddenly, standing up and sparkling.

"Oh, no," me and Amu both said under our breath.

"It is who but _**I**_ – Yamabuki Saaya, amazing beauty extraordinaire!!!" said Yamabuki Saaya, posing up a storm. "And, of course, Fujisaki-kun - almost as handsome as Hotori-kun!"

"Is it just me, or have all the mirrors cracked – Wait, _Nagihiko?_" I said, startled. "Why's he class rep? and more importantly, how is he HANDSOME?"

"It's like I'm not even _here,_" said Nagihiko, facepalming.

"Mashiro-san! How DARE you use his first name without any honorific, as if you're best friends or something!" moaned Yamabuki. ("Actually, it's fine if she do-" started Nagihiko but Saaya cut him off again.) "Of course he's handsome!" she shrieked, breaking Demonic Incubus's favourite glass vase on his desk with her voice. "His gorgeous, long hair, and big, beautiful eyes! It's like your BLINNDDDD!!!" shrieked Saaya, flapping her arms crazily.

"well, you have fun with that. And besides, what happened to Kukai and Tada-gay? You move on fast," I pointed out.

"Rima-chan... she'd probably start fangirling Suzuki if he joined the guardians," Amu pointed out.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"Yamabuki-san, are you going to tell them, or...?" said Nagihiko, and Saaya went red. I really, really want to kill that girl. Wait, no I don't. Wait, yes I do.

"OH, NOOOO!!!" sang Yamabuki. "You can do it, Fujisaki-kun~!"

"O-ok," he said, obviously trying to resist rolling his eyes. "Anyway, like Demonic Incubus... I mean, Daiichi-sensei said, we're having our annual cultural festival in about a week. We need to think up what we're going to do."

"What's Tadase-kun's class doing?!" one girl shrieked. Tadase was class rep of the other homeroom, and Kukai was rep of his twelfth-grade homeroom.

"I really don't know," said Nagihiko, really rolling his eyes this time.

"Why don't we just do a haunted house like last year?" I said, flopping my head down on the desk so that all my blond hair went over the edge.

"YES! A HAUNTED HOUSE, LIKE RIMA-SAMA SO GRACIOUSLY SUGGESTED!" all my fanboys rose up in ten-part harmony. You gotta love them.

"That's BORING!" cried Saaya, standing up again with such force she knocked her desk over with a loud clang. "We need something as great, exciting, and original as Fujisaki-kunnn!!!"

"Hey, Hinamori-san, what do you suggest?" said one girl eagerly. "Our _cool and spicy _Amu-chan will come up with something great!"

Amu, being forced into the spotlight, looked extremely uncomfortable. Both me and Nagihiko hastily prepared ourselves for the cool and spicy act that was coming.

"I agree with Mashiro-san," said Amu, her face going smooth and unreadable and rolling her eyes. "we shouldn't waste any effort trying to do some big elaborate thing. I mean, jeez, who cares about some dumb cultural festival?" said Amu, crossing her legs daintily.

"Ooooooooohh," said everyone except me, Nagihiko, and Saaya. "COOL AND SPICY!!!"

Nagihiko mumbled, "somebody shoot me," but I think I was the only one that noticed. Then he quickly tossed his hair back and cleared his throat quietly. "Why don't we just write any suggestions down on the board?" he said politely, not even bothering to be heard over the din because he knew everyone would quiet down as soon as they heard the voice of the Great Nagihiko. He wrote down _haunted house. _

One girl, Amu's friend Manami who actually had some sense said politely, "Iincho, why don't we do something for the food division? It'll be fairly easy but fun, and everyone likes food... unless they're dieting," she added.

Everyone seemed to agree on that.

"Why not a stall or something?" A guy suggested and then we all started discussing and blah, blah, blah.

Five minutes later

Someone said brightly, "I know! How about a café? A bunch of us could work as cooks and waitresses and decorators! It's more exiting than a stall!"

Nagihiko brightened at that. I knew he'd kill for a chance to show off his cooking skillz. "That's sounds alright. Amu-chan, Rima? what do you think?"

Amu shrugged noncommittally, but I could see she thought it was fine. I said, "Yep. Sure. Whatever."

Then the you-know-what really started to hit the fan.

Later later

A girl put up her hand and said, "what about a cosplay café?!"

Then another girl added, "A CROSS-DRESSING cosplay café!"

Then all the girls screamed, "FUJISAKI-KUUUN! YOU HAVE TO CROSS-DRESS AT THE CAFÉ, OKIES?"

"N-nani?" choked Nagihiko.

"Why don't you do it, Nagihiko?" I said idly. "Of course, all for the sake of school spirit and all that."

"Don't make me, Rima-chan!" he begged.

"I'll get together some people to make maid costumes!" one girl enthused, and I tired to imagine Nagihiko in a maid costume.

"Why me?" said Nagihiko, flopping down on the desk in a form of defeat.

Somebody else said, "Then we have to make Mashiro-san and Hinamori-san cross-dress too!"

Amu went all cool and spicy again, going, "What? God, you're stupid." And I just said, "No."

"Oh, why not, Rima?" said Nagihiko, grinning evilly at me. "You had no problem with making me cross-dress, did you?"

"I don't wanna!" I whined.

"Too bad!" one girl shouted. "We should put Mashiro and Hinamori-san's hair back, to make them look more masculine."

"At least Mashiro-chan's flat enough!" one girl shouted, and I threw a pencil at her head. It missed, and hit Nagihiko's head instead.

Oops.

Hee hee hee.

"Nagihiko's hair has to go in pigtails!" another girl said. "WITH BOWS!!!"

"Let's make Nagi's maid costume Gothic Lolita!" another chimed in. "We should make him wear BLACK LACY bows!"

Nagihiko started reciting quickly under his breath, "This isn't happening. This is all a horrible, terrible dream I'm going to wake up from. A nightmare. I'm going to wake up any second and none of this would've happened and homeroom hasn't started yet..."

"Yes, it has," I told him.

"Shut up."

"Bet you'd look good in a maid costume."

He looked at me evilly form under his dark bangs. "Why, thank you."

"you're wel – hang on, that's not what I meant!"

"Too late! Already said it, Rima-chaaan!" Nagihiko quickly ran to the other side of the desk and I started chasing him in circles.

"Oh, shut up, you pervert!"

"what? You're the one imagining me in a maid costume!"

"Yeah, but – "

"_Yeah? _So you WERE!"

"What? No!"

"Looks like _they've _made up," Amu mumbled happily.

I glared at her, and then ran over to her binder and wrote 'Mrs. Tsukiyomi Ikuto' on it in sharpie before she could do anything. Nagihiko laughed appreciatively behind me.

"Hinamori-san!" one girl said in surprise. "Who's Tsukiyomi Ikuto?"

"sounds hot," another sighed.

"I bet it's Hinamori-san's boyfriend!"

"Ooooooooohh!!! COOL AND SPICY!"

Sweet revenge.

Lunch

"What's wrong with Amu?" I asked Tadase. All the guardians, plus Ami, minus Nagihiko and our charas were eating lunch in the field. Pitchi – Ami's Chara who I bet you all forgot about – was attempting to sing. Again.

"Amu?" Tadase looked over at her.

"Amu, what's wrong?" I questioned.

She was silent. Finally, she mumbled, "I was just thinking that we haven't seen Ikuto in a while."

Tadase stiffened. Yaya pricked her ears.

"Easter," I told her, and she nodded in agreement.

"Wait – who cares about that thieving black cat? He brings nothing but misfortune!" Tadase exclaimed.

"And you bring nothing but an aura of gayness," I mumbled, and Kukai and Yaya burst out laughing. "It's true!" Yaya shouted.

Tadase pouted, but for some reason it didn't have the usual effect on Amu.

"Amu?" I asked her, snapping my fingers. "Hello? Tadase just gave his little sad angel face and you didn't even do anything."

"Ne... maybe she's losing interest in her boyfriend?" Yaya asked innocently, but a malicious light was gleaming in her eyes.

"What?!" said Tadase panickingly. "You are, Amu-chan?"

"Someone's a bit clingy," I observed. "Hey, Amu. Where's Nagihiko?"

"Huh," said Kukai. "Looks like Tadase and Amu's relationship isn't the only one blossoming."

"Shut up," I glared, but could feel the heat rising to my face.

"I dunno," said Amu absent-mindedly.

"Fine," I said, trying to keep any emotion out of my voice. "I'll go look for him."

"Have fun," Kukai snickered.

Jerks.

12:30

Actually, I already had a mild suspicion of where he might be.

Sure enough, there was the culprit – sitting on the roof.

"Hello, you fake ninja," I greeted him, and scrambled up. "You're going to get sunburnt if you stay up here any longer."

"so are you," he pointed out. Crap. "And I don't burn." Yeah, right.

I yawned.

"So why'd you come bother me?" he asked politely.

"Same reason you did, I guess. Tada-gay's being gay and Amu's being all space cadet. and Kukai and Yaya all annoying."

"Yeah," he smiled.

"Don't just sit there and look at me!" I ordered. "You look like a lech!" (Nagihiko word.)

"I bet you don't even know what a lech _is, _even though you used it in the right context," he smirked slowly in a way that was reminiscent of Ikuto. Nice to know we have Tsukiyomi's replacement right here when the real man goes missing.

"I'm sure you'd just love to tell me," I said sarcastically.

His sick grin widened. "It means to sexually lust after."

I flushed.

"Bet you're sorry you ever called me a lech _now,_" Nagihiko cackled. "I'd totally own you at Scrabble." He turned and looked back at me, malicious intent gleaming in his otherwise lovely eyes. "So, I sexually lust after you now, do I?"

"What? No!"

"Oh, so it's the other way around? Don't blame you, Rima-chan," said the Egotistical Maniac.

"Just take it as a compliment," I told him in a voice full of composure, before realizing what I said and clapping my hands over my mouth like in the cartoons.

Nagihiko laughed crazily. "OH, my god! I can't believe what you just said!" he peered at my bright red face over my hands. "Man! You sure get worked up for a little kid."

"I don't lust after you!" I lied.

"Sure you don't," he said cheerfully. "Least it's reciprocated."

"What does that mean?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"N-nothing."

I'll look it up when I'm at home.

"Anyway," I said, bringing up the Cultural Festival as revenge, "You looking forward to putting your hair in pigtails?"

Blue lines appeared on his face. "No way."

I took a bunch of his dark hair in each hand so it looked like ponytails and observed him. "Cute."

"I don't want to look cute!" he whined.

"Gosh, this'll be great. You just look like an extremely flat girl with broader than average shoulders."

He rolled his eyes, and I realized I was still holding his hair up. I quickly dropped it and he started fussing around with it and trying to make it flat.

"Geez. You are like a girl." I said.

"I just value my hair!"

"More than me! And I actually have two X chromosomes!"

"Good job. All that science studying must have actually stuck. And your hair is just fine." He took a lock of it and wound it around his fingers, and I tried not to blush. His fingers were warm. "I used to be really jealous of you. It's pretty."

"What?" I looked at him funny. "I was jealous of _your _hair! It was so long and straight! You should see mine in the morning, never mind in a humid room."

Nagihiko chuckled softly. "I have a mental image of you with an afro now. Nice."

"Not much of an exaggeration there. Oh, and you can actually brush your hair. You don't brush hair like mine. You use, like, a gazillion shampoos and clip it up a night so that it doesn't poof out as badly."

He stared at me in horror. "Harsh."

"Hey, lovebirds! Get down!" a voice suddenly called, and we both looked down from the edge of the roof to see Amu, Tadase, and Kukai waving at us.

Grrrrrrrr.

At home

Reciprocated: To make or do something in return.

~ feelings: To return one's feelings; of love; of hate.

Oh My Fucking God.

* * *

God, I'm a perv. Sorry. Too much fluff. Lovely, delicious, sugary fluff! *thinking about cotton candy*.

And Ikuto has been wiped off the face of the earth! Gasp! Where has our hot little kitty gone?

Ikuto: I'm not a fricking kitty! Imma CAT! A STRAY CAT!

Whatevs. We all know you're just a cute, harmless little kitty whose into small children.

Ikuto: HEY!

Anyway, one: thank you for reviews! Y'all lovely! Two: decided to stretch this out to 52 chapters after all. Uh... mostly because many of you have been threatening to torture and/or kill me. *gulp* and thirdly: because everyone's asking when Rima and Nagihiko are going to confess all the time, let me iron that out: not until the end. Chapter 50. 51's the conclusion or denouement, and 52's the epilogue (which is going to be good, honest. I already have it all written out).

Speaking of the epilogue, I've decided to make it from Ikuto's point of view. I dunno, it'll be funny, and also it's one year later. Just so you can be convinced of their happy ending. Nobody dies, although for awhile I actually considered killing off Tada-gay like Amuto-fan-neko-san did in her fic _An Amuto Story. _But nah; I guess even gay blonds are entitled to a happy ending.

Oh, dear. Here it comes...

85/86 rant.

Ikuto: *wasting away in cold small jail cell*

Amu: YO! Ikuto's wasting away in some cold small jail cell! Let's go take pictures with some dorkus model who goes, "CHIIISSUU!"

Nagihiko: *suddenly gets bigger part of weird dorky guy who talks to lost children*

Tsuki-no-kimi: Nagihiko, stop trying to be Aesop and start slapping Amu, dammit! Or making out with Rima. Whichever you prefer.

Oh, favourite line:

Nagihiko: *shows up in elaborate coolio outfit* sorry I'm late! I couldn't decide what to wear!

HAHHAHHAHHAHHA! Nagihiko's so cute. It's kinda funny how he retains some girlish aspects.

But Rima's part if kind of getting overshadowed by Nagihiko, I'm finding. It's kinda sad. Which was why, as soon as I finished the latest episodes, I thought, "Hey! I'll mend everyone's broken souls with a nice long chapter about cross-dressing" ^__^ *smile*

Okay, okay, I'll admit it. The whole cultural festival cross-dressing thing was stolen from Fruits Basket. Go... gomenasai -_-

Anyway, new poll on my profile: at the cultural festival, who should be the fortune-teller that the hapless guardians go to? Ms Psycho, or Naka-sensei? Which is funnier, in other words -_-

Anyway, I'll see you chapter 41. I'm feeling better about this fic, actually. Nagihiko's getting nicer, but still retaining his OC flirty aspect :) and I surprisingly enjoyed making Saaya's rants and Amu's cool-and-spicy lines. Anyhoos, BAI~!!!

– Tsukichii~*


	41. He's the Page of Wands? What?

**A/N: Ok, if you are super-observant you would have already noted that Nagi mentioned the cultural festival was coming up in about a week... well, I can't wait a week to do this scene, so we're just pretending nothing very important happened this entire week. As you might know, cultural festivals require a lot of business and preparation, so let's just say Rima-tan was too busy working with her homeroom to write in her diary.**

June 14th

"It's a WAITER'S COSTUME!" I whined, staring at the mirror in horror.

"You look cute, Mashiro-san!" one girl tried to convince me. "Well... better than Nagihiko and Tadase..."

Nagihiko, not wanting to be alone in cross-dressing, blackmailed Tadase into participating.

"Why?" I asked eagerly.

They all laughed nervously, and when they turned around I heard them murmuring, "so beautiful! I know, aren't they?"

Oh... that can't mean anything good.

Outside

Amu grimaced at me. She was in the same costume as mine. "Relieving me of my cross-dressing duties, Rima-chan?"

"Hai. Here," I took the order from her and rolled my eyes.

"Mind you," Amu continued. "We're actually doing really well. Might take first place in the food division. Demo, that's all thanks to..."

Nagihiko smiled pleasantly at the next customer. "We're going to be a while. But, you can wait... can't you?" he pouted, using his high and extremely sweet-sounding Nadeshiko voice.

"Y-yeah."

"Ehheh!" Nagihiko's eyes gleamed evilly. "I _knew _you'd understand! Now, if you'd like to move up the waiting list, that's 1,000 yen in tips to _me." _

"He doesn't mean it," I told the abashed customer, stepping on his foot pointedly. "_don't you, _Na_deshi_ko?"

"Of course I do," said Nagihiko, giving his innocent smile at the (male) customer, who was blushing furiously.

"They do realize you're a _guy, _don't you?" I hissed through gritted teeth.

"Oh, sure they do," he said airily. "At least, I _think _they do..."

"Didn't you tell them?"

"Nope."

Poor Tada-gay, on the other hand, was getting swarmed by millions of fangirls, who were saying stuff like:

"He's so CUTE!"

"He doesn't look like a guy at ALL!"

"He needs some fake pigtails!"

"SQUEE!"

Serves him right.

Later

Nagihiko finally, after about three hours of working nonstop, suddenly walked back inside.

"Nagi?" Amu asked, and he gave a creepy smile. "I quit."

"E-EH?"

"It's too boring," he yawned. "Let's close and so something."

"You're very spontaneous, aren't you?" Amu muttered darkly under her breath.

12:00

Yaya and Kukai, who had come from their classroom's exhibition, and everyone else met up and started just wandering.

"What _did _you do for the cultural festival, Yuiki-san?" Tadase asked curiously.

"Animal mythology!" said Yaya. "Kitsune and Tanuki and etcetera."

Then Nagihiko bored us all by talking about kitsune.

"You mean like in _Naruto_?" I asked.

"No way!" gasped Nagihiko. "That freak in a snowsuit is a shame to Japanese folklore don't even follow legends blah blah blah."

Amu, trying to distract him, pointed out some tent-thing.

"Oooh!" said Yaya, looking at the sign. "It's a fortune-telling booth! LET'S GO IN, RIMA-TAN, AMU-CHI!"

"E-eh?" said Amu.

"I read about these things," said Nagihiko complacently. "They're all frauds. And it's 1,000 yen per person, which is a serious rip-off."

"COME ON!" squee'd Yaya, and dragged us all into the tent.

Five seconds later

We came out into a stuffy room that smelled like moth-balls, like the type Mrs. Fujisaki dumps on old family heirloom kimonos but worse, and cats. That shed. A lot. I gripped Nagihiko's sleeve, while Nagihiko clung to Kukai, who clung to Yaya, who... you get the idea.

Suddenly a very, very familiar voice came out of the shadows. **(A/N: here it comes... the result of the vote...) **

"SOMA YUIKI HINAMORI TADASE MASHIRO FUJISAKIIIII!!!" the voice cooed – the longest run-on sentence I've ever seen. "All the LOVELY children from FAMILY STUDIEZZZZ!!! A thousan' yen, pllzzz," she added in an undertone.

While we all forked over half our wallets to Mrs. Psycho, who was dressed up in a Pokémon-patterned turban and various robes pilfered from Mr. Dress-ups tinkle trunk, she said "Now, who wants to go first?"

We all looked at each other.

"How about Rima-tan?" Yaya suggested. Nagihiko put his arms around me protectively. "I'm not letting that creep near her."

"How about Yaya?" I suggested.

"She scares me," Yaya whined. "She gave Suki-chan (Suki-chan was her egg baby with Kukai) a D."

We all suddenly glared at Tadase, who was huddled in the corner by the umbrella-holder.

"Ah, there he is," Nagihiko beamed. "Expendable number 1. King goes into battle first, Hotori-kun."

"DON'T BE AFRAID OF MADAME P," Mrs. Psycho said in a voice that made us all afraid. "I WON'T HURT YOU."

Tadase squeaked "Yes, you will", but we all ignored him.

She spread a bunch of cards out in front of her, dumped a cheap dollar-store hunk of glass shaped like a ball on top of them, and looked at Tada-gay's hands. "I see."

"What? What do you see?!" Tadase squeaked.

"Don't cave in to her wishes, Tadase!" Kiseki ordered.

"Dogs."

"W-what?" said Tadase politely.

"I see dogs. What can you say about dogs."

"I like dogs," said Tadase weakly. "I used to have one when I was little."

"what's this? What's this?" said Mrs. Psycho, peering at another tarot card. "Oh, my... do you see what I see? HUH?!" she said, suddenly aggressive.

"NO! I DON'T!" said Tadase's voice, sounding like a broken rubber ducky.

"GRANDMAS!" said Mrs. Psycho, leering at him. "OLD, WITHERY, DYING GRANNIES AND DOGS! FAT, UGLY DOGS! WHASSHOU GOTTA SAY 'BOUT THAT, TADA-GAY?!"

"I used to have a dog named Betty when I was little, and, um, my grandma's dying!" said Tadase, backing up quickly from her.

"Ohhhh..." said Mrs. Psycho. "OH, GOODNESS! EL-OH-EL! WHAT'S THIS I SEE?"

"E-eh?!"

She turned over cards quickly. They were The Fool, the four of pentacles, and the ace of cups.

"The Fool," she pointed to the card. "That's you."

"Hey!" Tadase said.

"The four of pentacles. Four is a very, very bad number. BAD."

Tadase nodded, and Ms. Psycho stood up. We all shrunk back some more.

"DO YOU UNDERSTAND? FOUR IS VERY VERY BAD! GROUPED WITH THE FOOL, IT MEANS YOU ARE GOING TO MAKE SOME VERY, VERY BAD MISTAKES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nagihiko, trying to calm her down, asked politely, "What does the ace of cups mean?"

"Small, hyper, annoying children. Nothing to do with it at all."

"It means Yaya's going to kill Tadase," Kukai whispered, and we all snorted.

Mrs. Psycho leered at Amu. "Himamori-san! Why don't you go next once the gay faggot CLEARS OUT?!" she hissed at Tadase in a threatening voice.

Amu's turn

For once, Mrs. Psycho actually went silent as she looked into the fake-crystal ball. "I see a girl. It's you, Hinamori-san!"

"that's just my reflection," Amu meekly reminded her, and Mrs. Psycho fell into a disgruntled silence. She turned over three tarot cards, and we all shot each other a startled look. It was The Lovers, The Moon, and the seven of wands.

Mrs. Psycho actually looked amazed at her own skill.

"All this fortune-telling stuff is bull," Amu grumbled to herself, the cool-and-spicy creeping back into her personality.

Mrs. Psycho took a deep breath, looking especially excited. "Seven of Wands. Conflict. Lovers. Romantic conflict. LIKE A TRASHY ROMANCE NOVEL OOOHHH HOW TRAAAAAAAAGIIIIIIIIIIC!!!" suddenly, she quieted down again. "... eh? Moon?"

She turned her head to one side. "_Tsuki. _Means moon. In Japanese."

Amu nodded.

"Moon means darkness."

"Like bad luck???!!!" Amu squeaked.

"PSSSSSSSSHHHHTTT." Mrs. Psycho snorted, spraying snot everywhere and narrowly missing us and Amu. "NO, stupid baka girl. Moon means darkness like _nighttime. _At night, nothing is what it seems. Something innocent will look malicious in the moon's half-light. It will do its very, very best to deceive you. But..." she pulled out _The Lovers _card side by side with the moon, and we all stiffened (except for Yaya, who was kind of slow).

"Deceivers... the moon, one its own, is a bad card. With the _Lovers _card... it means you are getting tangled up with something very, very deceitful that is lying to you. Tangled up... perhaps, even TANGLED UP IN THE BEDSHEETS WITH IT HUH WHAT SAY YOU TO _THAT _HIMAMORI-SAAAAAAAAAAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!"

"I – I – I'm not a playboy!" Amu sputtered. But Mrs. Psycho was getting wound up again. She looked into her useless hunk of crystal ball and looked at Amu's palms. "Fu." Then she seemed to give up on the crystal ball and chucked it into the trash bin behind her. she looked at the moon card again. "Deceit. Oh yes. Illusion. Oh yes. Lying. Oh yes. Lying, perhaps for your own good? And lovers. Mhm."

Amu squirmed.

"For your own good. Protection. Lovers." She seemed to get hit with something, and looked thrilled. "OH MA GAWD!!!!!" she dropped her voice hastily. "I think the moon resembles a _person._"

We all looked at her as if to say, 'No, DUH!'

"This person has been sucked into evil yet still _lusts _after Himamori-san!" Mrs. Psycho eyed her dubiously.

"Or _lech,_" I volunteered, and Nagihiko kicked me.

"Seven of wands," she said, pulling out the unnoticed third card from the beginning. "that conflict." Mrs. Psycho took Amu's hands. "Please... save your lover from all that DECIET THE ILLUSIONS THE LIES GOOD LUCK HIMAMORI-SAAAAAAAAAN!!!"

Amu quickly stumbled out of the chair and backed away slowly. We all looked at each other darkly. Could Mrs. Psycho... _actually read fortunes? _

"Bullshit," Nagihiko growled, as if he could read my mind. Nagihiko hardly ever swore. His mom would probably wash his mouth out with soap and tell him it was coarse and vulgar.

"OOOOHHHH!!!" shouted Mrs. Psycho, glaring at him. "How DARE you insult MY FOTUNE-TELLING OH HOW FRIIIIGGGHTTTTFUUUUUUULLLL!!!!!" she swept up all the tarot cards and shuffled them furiously. The Lovers card seemed to drift to the front, but I tried not to notice.

Mrs. Psycho glared. "Stupid, practical jack. SIT DOWN."

"There's nothing wrong with being practical and being able to make your own future through hard work," Nagihiko said in his know-it-all voice. "Instead of relying on crap cards and getting ripped off," he muttered to himself.

"SIT DOWN YOU HORRIBLE HORRIBLE BOYYY," Mrs. Psycho told him. "I WILL READ YOUR CARDS. NYAHAHAHAHAHA." She laughed creepily.

Nagihiko reluctantly flopped down and glared at the deck as if it had gotten a higher mark than him on the biggest test of the semester.

She quickly flipped the cards over. It was the Queen of Cups, the Page of Wands, and... OH MY GOD. My blood ran cold. Lovely... it was the Lovers card again.

Mrs. Psycho stared at us all disbelievingly. "You all have serious issues in the romance department, don't you?"

We were all silent.

Mrs. Psycho pointed to the Page of Wands. "That's you. Page, otherwise known as the knave or jack" I froze. Jack. "... of Wands. Wands can be associated with finance, hard work, careers, business enterprises, etcetera. You must be smart and all bookish."

Nagihiko rolled his eyes. The equivalent of a _yeah, but I could have figured that out for myself. _

She pointed to The Lovers card. "You really, really don't know _anything _about the inner workings of love because you are a SMALL NAÏVE, HORRIBLE LITTLE BOY YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF THE DELICACY OF A WOMAN'S MIND STUPID THICK AS A BRICK!"

Calling Nagi 'thick as a brick' was like handing him an axe and asking him to kill you.

He glared. "O-kay. I'm a thick-as-a-brick-horrible-little-naïve-boy."

She pushed the queen forward. The picture of the card of her had long curly blond hair and was sitting on her little throne holding a mammoth chalice.

OH... god.

Nagihiko seemed to recognize it too, as he stopped with the eye-rolling and stared in horror at Mrs. Psycho. She squee'd so loudly, her Pokémon turban almost fell off so that Pikachu and Snorlax were hanging dangerously close to her eye.

"THE HORRIBLE HORRIBLE BOY IS IN LOVE! AWWWW!!"

"Hey!" Nagihiko protested and Amu started laughing. Tadase started clapping his hand over his mouth to keep any giggles from escaping at the expense of Nagihiko's mortified expression. Me, Yaya, and Kukai all stood in a row and said slowly, "I don't... get it."

Mrs. Psycho looked at the card happily, then it suddenly faded. Nagihiko suddenly said, "It's inversed."

Mrs. Psycho shot a hard look at him.

"what?" he complained. "I looked them up in grade six. Inversed face cards mean..."

"LET'S NOT MIND THAT FOR NOW," said Mrs. Psycho evilly. "The Cups suit stands for water. The Queen of Cups is beautiful by almost all standards, because her beauty is the purity of her spirit, and such magnificence has a universally recognizable allure. Even when not physically attractive, she still attracts others to her."

Nagihiko shifted uncomfortably.

"If one draws the Queen of Cups in an upright position, the card means a sensitive, receptive and affectionate woman. Someone who is in close touch with her inner self, who can demonstrate great perceptiveness, intuition and will power when needed."

"But it's upside down," I pointed out quietly, my voice shaking.

"Yes." She said bluntly. "On the other hand, if one draws the Queen of Cups in an inverse position, the card means a woman who shows fickleness, vanity, untrustworthiness, and is capricious and unreliable. She can be the source of great problems to anyone who allows her into their confidence."

Nagihiko bit his lip. "Like I care. Which I don't." _OH, god... I love you, Nagihiko. WAIT! I DIDN'T SAY THAT! _

"YOU SHOOOOOOOOUUUUUULLLLLLDDDDDDD YOU HORRID HORRIBLE LITTLE KNAVE YOU STUPID CARELESS IDIOT BAKA BAKA BAKA!!! EVIL SELFISH VIXENS OUT FOR YOUR SOOOOOOOULS!!!! But you already are in love with her," she added as an afterthought.

Nagihiko glared. "Can you _please _show some privacy? Amu's hanging off my every word."

"SHUT UP HORRIBLE LITTLE BOY." Typical Mrs. Psycho. "OH WHY DOESN'T LITTLE BLOND GRADE-SCHOOLER GO NEXT?"

"No." I said coldly. "Nagihiko's right, it's a horrid rip-off and I'm not wasting my precious money that could be spent on _me _instead of listening to _you_ tell _me_ how horrible _I_ am."

"So cold..." Kukai shuddered.

"And selfish, doesn't Rima-chan know I wanna see what she gets?" Yaya whined.

"Cold and selfish, huh." said Amu, who had a silly grin on her face.

"Shut up," me and Nagihiko said at the same time, and Amu's grin just got wider.

"SIT DOWN." Mrs. Psycho ordered, and I took my time glaring at her.

She pulled out three cards out of the deck: The Queen of Cups, the Page of Wands, and The Fool.

"Are you sure you shuffled properly?" I said mercilessly. "Nagihiko and Tada-gay got those cards already."

"Hey, I may be a crap teacher but I can sure shuffle," she snapped back. Mrs. Psycho looked at the cards. "Oh, dear," she sighed. "These are all figures in your life. To determine their relationship, we'll have to do a second draw."

"This sounds awfully based on luck to me," I said, but everyone ignored me. She drew out two cards to put in between each of them: between the Queen and Fool, the two of cups, and between the Queen and Page, a... yes, this was getting old. The damn Lovers card.

She peered at them, and said, "That one's you. the..."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," I said dully. "The Fool. Hardee har har, Rima's a clown."

"NO!" said Mrs. Psycho, happy to contradict me. "That's a close friend. Sometimes, the rank of the card can reflect their position in something – for example, a King card could be your boss or a parent."

_The Fool. _

_The Fool = The Joker. _

_The Joker = Amu._

Nagihiko seemed to be thinking the exact same thing. I could practically hear his brain whirring away, producing up some kind of complicated theorem.

"_That's _you," said Mrs. Psycho, pointing to the Queen of Cups.

"Queen of Cups," said Kukai, snickering. He had finally caught on to Nagihiko's reading. "What a surprise."

"It's just a coincidence," I said icily.

"And your relationship with the Page of Wands is..."

"You know, the Lovers card doesn't necessarily mean love..." I began, but Mrs. Psycho cut me off with one of her rants.

"OF COURSE IT DOES YOU HORRIBLE GIRL YOU'RE JUST NOT WILLING TO ADMIT THAT YOU'VE GIVEN OVER YOUR SELFISHNESS TO THE OBJECT OF YOUR FIERY PASSIONATE AFFECTION YOU HORRIBLE FILTHY HYPOCRITEEEEEE!!!" Mr. Psycho shouted, her left eye twitching maniacally.

I stood up abruptly. "You go, Yaya."

"Cheer up, Rima, it was obvious from the beginning," said Nagihiko unhelpfully.

"That's all out of you, mister," I hissed.

Later

She did a group reading, where she pulled out only one card out of the deck randomly. It was The Chariot.

"Victory!" she enthused. "Oh... wait..."

"It's upside down," I told her, feeling a sense of déjà vu.

"...OH." Mrs. Psycho looked embarrassed. "Erm... that means... a fight."

Crap. Should of stuck with victory.

"Come back soon!" she called, waving at us.

"When hell freezes over," Nagihiko muttered darkly.

I just laughed.

End of the Day

Amu waved to us. "Bye!"

"See ya, Fool," Nagihiko laughed.

"Same with you two lovebirds – Queen and Page, wasn't it?"

And she had shut the door before I could slap her, too.

I yawned widely. "That loony put me to sleep --- at least, when she wasn't calling you a horrible little boy."

Nagihiko snorted. "Yes, it was so fun."

"It was. As long as I'm with you, it's fun."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Nagihiko teased. "You like being with me, huh?"

"NO!" I yelped. "I meant YOU, as in YOU ALL, the old guardians," I clarified.

"Uh-huh? Well then, what did _that _mean?" he leaned in and whispered, "kissing me for my birthday... of course you like being with me..."

"stop flattering yourself!" I hissed. "You're only nice at the rare moment you're not plotting something or being mean."

He looked hurt. "I'm not _mean, _am I?"

"Maybe. I don't know."

"No... I can be manipulative... not mean," he protested.

"Sure."

He pulled his hair around his shoulder and flicked the bottom.

"You _know _that annoys me." I glared.

"Why don't you give me a chance to prove I'm not mean?" he said innocently, ignoring my remark and winding his purple-black hair around his long fingers. They were like piano keys, white and graceful. They didn't look like boy's fingers _at all. _

"Oh, yeah? And how do you plan on doing that?" I said, deciding to be nice and play along.

He leaned in close again, enjoying my deer-in-the-headlights look. "I don't know... by going on a date with me?"

* * *

DUN DUN DUNNNNNNN.

CLIFFIE. *♥*

Where the hell did that come from?

Oh well, I'm not complaining.

Because of my OCD-researching for chapters, I now know... too much about tarot cards. Oh well.

Hee hee. Nagi is OC again... much too OC than before... let's just say, erm, he's not the same polite-ass Japanese-dancing kid he was in grade five because people change. He must have developed a proper personality after kinda dropping the whole Nadeshiko façade and being more his boyish self... I mean, why not turn into a shameless flirt like Ikuto? Ikuto is kind of his love-life mentor, anyway (WARNING: never take Ikuto's advice on girls. Seriously. In fiction it can work, but real life? No. lol)

Anyway, reviews are always welcome and thank you everyone for them. I feel like some flames, though. All my friends get flamed on fanfiction. Why not me? I like arguing with idiots. Oh well XD

I'm starting to wonder what I should do after I finish this. A break is in order, of course, and a couple lazy-ass Shugo Chara oneshots, I do believe. I have a three-quarters finished Rimahiko one, and I want to do some Kutau or Kukaixyaya (I dunno the name smoosh for Kukai and Yaya. Anyone know?). Maybe Amuto, but there's so much of that already (although it's super-good...). I've enjoyed writing romance diary-layout stories so much that my next big project is going to be Vampire Knight – Juri's diary. Wouldn't that be awesome? I got the idea from the bonus chapter in VK that came out a couple months ago. JurixHaruka. because sorry, Rido's a pedophilic freak.

CRAAAAAP. I'M STARTING TO PRATTLE.

Anyway, geez... now I have to write a decently canon chapter on Nagi and Rima's date. Meh.

**Miyu: She's just play-acting. she's secretly thrilled. **

**Kimi: ... T_T**

- Kimi-chan~*

(It used to be Tsukichii, but Kimi-chan sounds cuter *♥*)

P.S.: The 87 rant will be next chapter. jump for joy, everyone. it's because the epi's not up on the illegal ( = steals it off crunchyroll so the normal civilians without memberships can watch it) website i go to (cough cough onepieceofbleachdotcom cough cough). ELLOL.


	42. His Stalking Habits

"_Why don't you give me a chance to prove I'm not mean?" he said innocently, ignoring my remark and winding his purple-black hair around his long fingers. They were like piano keys, white and graceful. They didn't look like boy's fingers __at all. _

"_Oh, yeah? And how do you plan on doing that?" I said, deciding to be nice and play along._

_He leaned in close again, enjoying my deer-in-the-headlights look. "I don't know... by going on a date with me?"_

My mouth fell open, and I stared at him for a few eons. _Was Nagihiko Fujisaki asking me... OUT?!_

"Are you kidding?!" I suddenly said. "NO WAY!"

_Don't say that!!!! _Kanon screamed in my head.

"Well then," said Nagihiko, smiling evilly and ignoring Kanon. "You're not allowed to say I'm mean if you're not even giving me the chance."

"Honey I'm still free... takeachanceon me," I hummed under my breath.

"Are you humming _Abba, _Rima?"

"Uhhhh..."

"Stop changing the subject!" Nagihiko demanded. "Why won't you go out with me?"

"GOD, you're PUSHY!" I whined. "I dunno. Because you'll eat me?"

"Oh, no, you've found out my secret. I'm a cannibal. OF COURSE I WON'T, BAKA." His voice dripped with sarcasm.

"Because you're, uhm, because..."

"I see." He gave his dripping-with-Splenda(fake sugar) smile. The one that showed a bit of his teeth, like a crocodile that's about to gobble up a small, fluffy monkey. "You don't have aaaaanny excuse."

"No," I hung my head in shame. "I don't."

He forced my chin up, so that I was looking straight into his eyes.

"You're a shameless flirt," I growled through gritted teeth.

"And you know it. See you at one."

"after lunch?"

He gave me a weird look.

"IN THE _MORNING?!?!" _

"When else?" he said, in that you're-being-ridiculously-stupid-today-Rima voice.

"... I can't!"

"Why not?"

"you know what?" I stomped away. "Never mind."

I thought I heard him laughing.

JEEEEEEERRRRRRKKKKK.

At home

My mother practically pounced on me. She's turning into a child more and more every time I see her, like that dude's mom from _Toradora!_

"OKAY! Tell me EVERYTHING! WHERE ARE YOU GOING? HUH HUH HUH!" she squealed. "I ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD A THING FOR FUJISAKI-KUN!"

"what?! No!" I yelped, squirming out of her grip. "It's not like that! And, incidentally, were you eavesdropping?"

"Of course not," she lied. "What time?"

"One." I didn't bother telling her AM or PM. Let her think what she wanted.

"Aw, okay. My little Rima-chii is going on a date! Mama's so excited!"

I just let it slide. You can imagine how much it pissed me off to be called 'little'. Didn't she know I just had a growth spurt? But, I mean, she was taking a break from her job and for the first time in ages she actually had _time _to call me 'little' so I just pretended I had gotten a temporary bout of deafness.

"You're annoying." I stated the obvious, but my mother was too busy flipping through the newspaper.

"Why are you reading the classifieds?" I said, bugging her. Usually, she only read the _Business _section – boring!

"Oh," she said naturally. "I was thinking we could get a cat."

"From where?" The trash can?

"The SPCA. Where else?" she gave me the you're-being-silly look Nagihiko had given me only about half an hour earlier.

The trash can? I still think we could've found a cat in there. A mutated cat, but still.

I was about to call Nagihiko and Squee on the phone for a couple minutes, but then I changed my mind. That would be totally weird. I called Tada-gay instead.

On the phone

"Hello." I heard Tada-gay's gay voice. "Tada-g – Tadase residence."

"TADA-GAY!" I yelled. "I'M GETTING A CAT!"

"Mashiro-san, having rats isn't a very good..."

"CATS, you hearing impaired pinhead (Nagihiko word)."

"OH! Well, I'm very happy for you! Our family has cats as well."

"really? What do they do?"

Tadase gave a very unpleasant laugh on the other end of the line. "they catch rats."

Urgh.

Later

I wonder what Nagihiko _was _doing at one o'clock in the morning. It would be pitch black outside.

Just then, my cell phone rang. The caller ID said _Nagihiko. _It was like he had read my mind.

"What do you want?" I growled into the phone.

"If you're wondering why I want you to come out at one o'clock in the morning..."

I held my breath.

"... I'M NOT TELLING YOU! HA!"

_Click. _

That boy is sick.

9:00

Now, I SHOULD be going to bed, but I'm still worried about the date. I should be worrying about what to wear, but I'm not.

I bet Nagihiko was just kidding.

AND IT'S NOT A DATE.

1:00

"Rima-chan!" said KusuKusu, dancing.

"KusuKusu!" I yelped, sitting straight up in bed. "what are you doing here! Did you hatch? What – "

"Sssssssshhhh. You're giving KusuKusu a headache," KusuKusu said happily. Suddenly, her dorky hat got an X on it.

"KusuKusu!" I exclaimed, pointing at her hat. "You – "

"It's _fine,_" KusuKusu giggled. "I'm just dying."

I tied to run, but I couldn't. Something was tied around my ankles.

""Let me go!" I squirmed.

"I'm not doing anything," a voice said crossly.

"Yes you are! Let KusuKusu go! This is your fault!" I said dizzyingly.

"For pity's sake, Rima. Are you asleep?"

I woke up for real this time, feeling no happier than when I was asleep. My eyes felt wet.

"Oh, hello," said Nagihiko. He was sitting just outside, with his elbows on my windowsill.

"How long have _you _been here!" I shrieked, pointing an accusing finger at him.

"Oh... not long. What happened to KusuKusu?"

"How do you know that?!" I still shrieked, wiping my eyes with my other hand.

"You talk in your sleep."

I frowned at him. "You're a stalker."

"No I'm not. I said one in the morning. And then you _slept._"

"I was sleepy," I retorted, but rolled out of bed anyway. "Now _turn around. KEEP _turned around until I tell you. Actually, shut your eyes for good measure. I'm going to get dressed."

"As if you have anything to hide," Nagihiko mumbled, but he turned around anyway.

"HEY!" I said, throwing a shoe at him. "KEEP turned around, you perv!"

"Oh, so you noticed."

Five minutes later

"So, where are we going to go, now that you dragged me out of bed in the middle of the night?" I grumbled.

"You'll see," he said lightly.

"We're going to your house."

"It's the best place to see it."

"See what?"

"You'll see."

"You're a jerk."

"I know," he said cheerfully.

I fell into a disgruntled silence for a minute. "Why is it so dark?"

"Oh. So you noticed? It's a new moon tonight."

"I don't want to see that crap vampire movie!"

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Is Twilight all girls can associate with nowadays? I meant that the moon is GONE."

"Where'd it go?"

There was a pregnant silence for a minute. Suddenly, Nagihiko burst out laughing.

"What?!" I said, offended.

"You're so..." he broke into laughter again. "You're so _stupid!"_

I held my breath so I wouldn't laugh. "If I'm stupid, then... then you're a smartass!"

He wiped his eyes. "Sure. Okay. So, tell me... where does the sun go at night then?"

"It goes behind the hills!" I said proudly, and Nagihiko started laughing again.

_He's _the stupid one.

Nagihiko's Roof. 

Nagihiko's house's roof is actually pretty flat. On other roofs, I feel like I'm about to slide off, but not so much with his.

"Look up," Nagihiko whispered. There were a gazillion stars in the sky.

"Why are there so many?" I said, and immediately regretted it. Nagihiko launched into his explanation.

"Well, there are many factors in light loss blah blah blah."

"In Japanese, please?" I said irritably.

"Okay. The moon and city lights take away from the light of stars. Whole constellations have disappeared because of light pollution. But because there's not too many houses around us because we're so high up, and because it's a new moon on a clear night, we're able to see them better."

"Oh," I said quietly, and then brightened. "There's the big dipper. Ursula something."

"It's called Ursa Major," Nagihiko corrected. "Latin for Great Bear."

"Well! Aren't you smart," I said sarcastically.

"No, seriously!"

"Sorry! I forgot you've memorized the encyclopedia! So, what's that one? The Great Snake? It looks like a dying lizard."

"Nope, that's Cassiopeia."

Okay, so it turns out Nagihiko really DID memorize star charts...

"No. I just used to be crazy about astrology when I was younger," said Nagihiko, looking at my diary.

"Stop reading it!" I snapped at him.

"I can't help it! You write big so I can see what you're writing from far away."

Bleh.

Four hours later... *gulp*

"WHAT!?" I shrieked, looking at my watch. "It's... FIVE! IN THE MORNING! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!"

"I dunno," said Nagihiko idly. "Time flies... when you're hanging out with handsome men..."

I threw a bunch of acorns that had accumulated from the overhead trees at the Egotistical Maniac's head. "Ow! It's the truth!"

I suddenly stopped.

"What is it?" said Nagihiko promptly.

"I... wonder how long this can last?" I said in a low voice.

"How long... what?" said Nagihiko, puzzled.

"This," I said, gesturing to the silent neighborhood. In the distance, the sun was coming up, staining the indigo sky the scarlet of spilled blood. "It's so peaceful. It's been months since Easter's done anything, weeks since Ikuto _or _Utau have been seen. It's like... they're biding their time. Or Tsuki-no-kimi has forgotten the plot."

"I _have not _forgotten the plot!" Tsuki-no-kimi hissed through clenched teeth, but everyone ignored her.

Nagihiko smiled gently. "Yeah. But we can't do anything until they make a move."

"We have to get Ikuto, right?" I said fiercely.

"Calm down!" said Nagihiko, sweatdropping and backing away slowly. "Not _now!_ Don't just go off and pick a fight with a bunch of adults!"

"It's times like these..." I felt tears prick my eyes, and I ignored them. "... that makes me want the embryo."

"Everyone has wishes," said Nagihiko in a low voice.

I hiccupped, "What would you want?"

He bit back a grin, and then his smile faded. He wordlessly held out Temari, curled up in his palm sleeping peacefully, and the blue un-hatched egg.

"Oh," I said, feeling a little guilty. "Well... mine's not too different. But I guess you knew that." I rolled out KusuKusu's egg and began tipping it from hand to hand. It was so peaceful and silent up here. I really didn't want to go home yet. A golden blaze was starting at the horizon, and almost all the stars were gone.

Nagihiko smiled sympathetically, and then lowered his eyes to Temari in his hand. "She's been sleeping a lot lately," he mumbled. "It's almost as if..."

He smiled, trying to be cheerful, but it came out more like a grimace.

I rolled onto my back and stared at the painfully bright outline of the sun, pulling back the darkness. "Amu says Miki is sick... so is Yoru. Eru wasn't feeling well for a while, but she's fine now, Utau told me. So why..."

"I don't know. But I think a wish like that would be better than world domination." Haha, Tada-gay, in your face. Even your BFF admits that world domination is retarded. "To have all our charas back and hatched," Nagihiko said wistfully. "So they'd never disappear, even when we were adults."

"That's what I've been trying to tell you, dorkuses," groaned Kanon, throwing back her head in frustration.

"How long have _you _been here?!" I hissed at her. She was sitting in between us.

"Well, you were all moaning and groaning about KusuKusu last night so I couldn't get to sleep!" Kanon retorted.

"I give up," I groaned. "I'll never be free of your nattering, forever doomed to listen to you give me toilet-water worthy excuses..."

"Only if you find the embryo," Kanon reminded me. "Otherwise, I'll disappear! But of course, you want that to happen, huh..."

"N-no," I stuttered.

Kanon shot me a sly grin. "Of course you don't! It's because I remind you of the oh-so-great _Nagihi_ – "

I clapped a hand over her mouth. Leave it up to Kanon to ruin a perfectly good morning! "She doesn't know what she's talking about!" I said in a voice an octave higher than usual. "Delirious! Hysterical! Crazy as a goose!"

"moo're mo med!" came Kanon's muffled voice from under my hand.

"I'd better go," I said regretfully. I looked down to the ground, which seemed awfully far away. "How do you get down?"

Nagihiko rolled his eyes, and shoved me. At the last minute, I managed to stumble to the ground on my feet. I heard someone laughing above me.

"THAT'S IT, FUJISAKI!" I shouted. "WE'LL SEE WHO'S LAUGHING!" and stomped off home.

"Hey, Rima?" Nagihiko called, and instinctively I turned around.

"Was I mean?"

"Eh? NO."

"HA!" he started laughing. "So you can't call me mean anymore!"

"YOU'RE A JERK!" I shouted, and continued walking.

Later

I walked in the front door without even thinking. My mother glanced up, startled. It was a Sunday, and she had long since stopped coming into my room in the mornings because she rarely ever got a kind response. Plus, she had been too busy.

"You've been out?" she asked. "I didn't see you leave."

"Yeah, well..." I stalled.

"It's okay, Rima. I understand."

"What?!" I squeaked.

"I hope you used a condom!"

"HEY! THAT WASN'T IT AT _ALL!_" I shouted, and stomped back up the stairs.

In my room

A fat cat sat on my bed. The sheets had been curled around its body, and one of it's yellow eyes was squinty and the other one bulged out, staring at me suspiciously. It's tail was crooked, and it was a variety of colours – black, white, orange, grey, and brown, mainly. It had a big, dark orangey-red splotch of violent colour over one eye, the squinty one.

"what is... what IS that MONSTROSITY?!" (Nagihiko word) I growled.

"That's Bakatan!" enthused my mother, who had crept up behind me. "I got him from the SPCA last night and wanted to surprise you. Isn't he just the sweetest?"

Bakatan let out a loud belch.

* * *

Well, I think that went well...

**Miyu: ARE YOU SERIOUS? You should've taken advantage of such a turning point in plot such as a date to make it funny and have some serious character development and whatever floats your boat. But instead you made them look at stars at one o'clock in the morning, describe the sunrise in emo detail, and then have a lovely in-depth talk about embryos. Seriously. You can all shoot me any time now... but don't.**

FINE! OKAY, OKAY, IT SUCKED! SO IT'S BEEN A SLOW WRITING DAY! No biggie! Right??????????? (Yeah no.)

There were many factors that contributed to lack of Rimahiko and character/plot embellishment, namely:

1) I'm lazy-ass.

2) I thought that since last chapter was such a success I could slack off for a bit.

3) when I discipline myself to write when I don't 'feel' like it, my writing suffers. Quantity over quality.

4) I went on my Facebook for like the first time in months and got a bunch of notifications to a question on some app called Honesty Box (the name should've warned me). I asked some normal question about an assignment but instead got told that I was a midget who will never get a boyfriend and die alone. I know it's my fault for dabbling in crap like that, but I couldn't help but feel a little miserable and didn't feel like writing sweet fluff about happy anime love. Then I felt even MORE miserable because I sounded like Stephanie Meyer when her midnight sun shit got leaked and whined about how her rights as a human got violated and blah, blah, blah.

5) I've been pouring my heart out (=exaggeration) into a Rimahiko one-shot, so I was a bit exhausted writing-wise. I can't really explain it, but you know that feeling when you've written three chapters in a row and suddenly you stop dead at the beginning of a new paragraph with cramped fingers and aching wrists? That kind of 'exhausted'.

6) We're moving in July/August so a lot of my time is spent worrying like a senile old grandfather.

Unnnnnngggggghhh.

So yes, I got the summer blues again.

Hope I made ya feel just as emo as meh! lol jk.

Anyway, I do have something fun that can bore you all: the Shugo Chara! 87/88 rant.

Amu (to Lulu): You know Ikuto? *goes all hopeful*

Amuto fans (and me): Ohmigosh! It's true! It's really true! Amu loves and cares about Ikuto in his pitiable state and is enquiring about him! *gasp!*

Lulu: nah Nana knows Yoru so they go off and play n'stuff.

Amu: O! MK!

Amuto fans: *bangs their heads against their computers* IT'S OVER! IT'S OVER! IKUTO'S GOING TO DIE OF A BROKEN HEART AND TADA-GAY AND AMU ARE GOING TO DANCE OFF INTO THE SUNSET!

Amu: Hee hee hee!

Tadase: We'll help ~~Yamamoto(?)~san (=Lulu?), Amu~CHAN~~~***~~~***~~~!!! *lovesick smile*

Tsuki-no-kimi: *suddenly unsheathes random katana and stabs Tadase repeatedly* AAAHHH!!! TAKE THAT, YOU USELESS FAG! AMU BELONGS TO IKUTO AND DON'T YOU FORGET IT YOU HERMAPHRODITE! *more anti-feminism and profanity*

Aaaahhhh... all that Tadamu tension is going away at the thought of stabbing Tadase mid-smile with an Asian weapon... *smile*

Speaking of Tada-gay and smiles, I just realized something.

1) go back and watch Doki 88

2) take a look at the episode where Amu gets busted by her mom and Ikuto has to leave

3) look at Lulu's sad-weird-smile in 88

4) look at Tada-gay's sad-weird-smile in that episode when Ikuto accuses him of the confession.

5) THEY'RE THE EFFING SAME!

That would be creepy if Lulu and Tada-gay were related... but they're both blond and stupid so maybe :P

One thing that was love: NAGI BEATING OFF ? EGGS WITH HIS ROYAL CAPE!!! I just LOL'ed my head off at that one. Mostly 'cause he looked damn stupid... but that's okay *smile*. And, of course, Rima all kawaii and clown-drop ness going, "THAT'S NOT FUNNY! U NEED DISCIPLINE BAKAAAZZ!!"

XD

I was still holding out for another Nagi-risks-his-life-to-save-Rima-from-?-eggs, but I guess not :*( guess you can't have it all...

Anyway I'll see y'all in teh next chappiiiiie..... *yawn* sorry tired as hell. Want to sleep. But I want to get started on my VK fic to I have a head start when this one's done... but I'm getting the writer's exhaustion I mentioned before – the floppy wrists from having your arms resting on the edge of the keyboard.

And I'm feeling like my child has been diagnosed with some disease and has only about a month left to live, because I'm nearly done this fic and if I've gotten particularly fond of one of my stories I always get a little sad when it ends. Particularly one that's 42 chapters already. But of course everyone gets that feeling, even you. you know what it's like to end a beloved fanfiction! All sad-ish!

And No, sorry. I won't be making a sequel just because, well, this fanfiction is long enough as is and I'll end the story so completely there won't be room for any sequel plot. Unless I do one of those weird second-generation fics =__=

MEH.

I'll start turning into Bella if I keep up this whining.

- Kimi-chan~*


	43. His Abuse Taking: From me, that is

**A/N: This chappie's dedicated to Ai-chan-Fallen Angel for giving me a new nickname... oh-hohohoho *laughs crazily like Renge from Host Club*. **

June 30th, 12:40

"Guess what, Ri-Ri-tan?!" Nagihiko demanded.

"What?"

"..."

"what it it?" I demanded. Nagihiko cocked his head to one side.

"I'LL GET YOU, MY PRETTY, AND YO LI'L CAT TOO!!"

"Good!" I told him. "You can take my cat --- I don't want Bakatan!" It started to rain.

"RI-RI-TAAAAAANNN!" Nagihiko said in a crackly voice like the Wicked Witch of the West. "I'M MEEELLLTIIINGG!!"

Suddenly three new people sprang up from Nagihiko's dead body.

"Who're you?" I asked.

"Oha!" the far one giggled. "I'm Rie Kugimiya."

"I'm Sayuri Yahagi, and..."

"I'm Haruhi Suzumiya! Nah, I'm just kidding. This is Aya Hirano and are you ready to karaoke?"

"But I can't sing!" Sayuri Yahagi protested. "I've never even released a anime character song in my life!"

"I've released three!" Aya Hirano proclaimed. "MisaMisa, Konata, and Haruhi! Rie-chan here, though..."

"I've released loads," said Rie Kugimiya smugly.

"MRREEEEEEEEEEHH." Bakatan screeched in my ear.

I woke up, sitting straight up in bed.

"BRAH BRAH BRAH," Bakatan proclaimed.

"why don't you go 'nya, nya' like a normal cat and GET OFF MY FUCKING BED, YOU FELINE?!" I growled at it.

"hurahurahurahura," squeaked Bakatan. He slid off the bed, pulling the sheets with him. Then he slunk downstairs. I heard him meow loudly and my mother croon, "Bakatan! Would you like some pancakes? Okay, I'll put tuna in them JUST FOR MY LITTLE NEKO!!!"

Bakatan has been with us for a week already. And already my mother has spoiled him beyond all repair.

It's really quite disgusting.

I pulled on my uniform and walked to school. Actually, it's amazing school can even exist after the week I've gone through.

At school, Science

All the teachers are slacking off, since school is nearly done. It's quite nice, actually.

Mizumori-sensei suddenly held up a bunch of big brown envelopes. "Your final exams have been marked."

My breath caught in my throat.

"You'll do fine," said Nagihiko, patting my shoulder and earning me some evil glares from Nagihiko fangirls. All except Sayuri, who had ditched her Nagihiko-fangirl posse and was now Yamabuki Saaya's right-hand assistant in obsessing over Tadase. They switch so quickly they're giving me whiplash.

"NO, I won't," I shook my head furiously. "I know I failed. I _epically _failed. I just know it. How could a bunch of studying save me?"

"Jeez," Nagihiko rolled his eyes. "How much encouragement do you want?" then he quickly plastered on a benevolent smile as Mizumori-sensei started talking. "First in the class... Fujisaki! As usual!" Grin, Grin, Grin. "With a score of eighty-seven point six!"

Nagihiko, with a grin to match Mizumori-sensei's, took his paper. "Oh, no!" he whispered to me. "I... I got question fifty-five wrong! Dammit! I could have gotten... I could have gotten..."

"Big deal," I whispered. "One wrong. You got eighty-seven percent!"

"Excuse me!" said Mizumori-sensei, flaring up. "Would you two flirts stop talking so I can announce the next mark?!"

Everyone tittered, and I yelled, "We're not flirting!" but no one listened.

"Shhhhh," Nagihiko whispered. "You'll want to listen to this,"

"Nagihiko Fujisaki," I glared at him. "Is it possible that you already _know _what everyone got?"

He turned his head to one side, like Ikuto does when Tsukasa waves catnip at him, and smiled evilly. "That's for me to know, and you to find out."

"Nakamura – eighty-four. Oh, right, and Mashiro. Number six with eighty percent."

My mouth fell open.

"I told you!" cackled Nagihiko. "And it's all thanks to Chemistry Carl!"

"NO, it wasn't!" I said gleefully and hugged him.

"Eighty percent isn't that good!" Nagihiko told me.

"For _you, _it's not!" I told him, still hugging him maniacally.

"Hem-hem," said Mizumori-sensei. "Will you stop all your hugging and let me continue?"

"No," I told him icily, quickly changing back to my cold personality.

Dark aura started to surround Nagihiko as he gave an absolute zero smile to Mizumori-sensei. "Are you trying to stop a cute girl from hugging me?"

Mizumori shuddered. "N-no... you can go continue."

Lunch

I ran at Amu crazily, flapping my arms like a penguin. "AMUUU!!! I GOT THE SIXTH HIGHEST MARK IN SCIENCE!!!"

"Eh?! No fair!" whined Yaya. "I only got thirteenth!"

"Good job, Mashiro-san," said Tadase, smiling gaily. Or maybe gayly.

"Hey. The shrimp actually did well?" said a familiar voice, dropping down from a tree. Amu's mouth suddenly fell open.

"Hey. I wouldn't keep your mouth open like that for too long." said Ikuto. "You never know what might fly in."

"Tsukiyomi Ikuto!" Tadase announced dramatically.

"Don't worry, Kiddy King, I can't stay long," said Ikuto sleekly.

"Eh? Why not?" said Amu, flushing.

He looked at us all. "Why do _you _think?"

"But I thought you escaped!" I said, glaring at him.

"Nope. They found me." A crease appeared between his eyebrows. "I just wanted to say quickly that..." his expression crumpled for a minute. "... can you please tell Utau _not _to go after me next time?"

"What?" said Amu, looking incredibly confused.

"That's why Utau's been missing," Nagihiko said in a low voice.

"Yep," said Ikuto mildly.

"Utau-chan? What happened?" Yaya demanded.

Ikuto scratched the back of his head uncomfortably. "Eru was sick and Iru was God knows where so she couldn't escape by character-changing. Sanjo-san's not part of Easter anymore so she couldn't help. She got captured. The end."

Yaya choked. She was particularly fond of Utau. "But hasn't anyone..."

"Oh, I made her escape," said Ikuto offhandedly. "Kicking and screaming all the while... but at any rate, since I'll be spending the rest of my life listening to X-eggs shriek, I'm sorry to say that Utau's up to you." He gave a sideways look to the road and his ears twitched. "There they are. I'd better go – " but when he tried to go, to all of our surprise (and Tadase's outrage) Amu had grabbed his shirt sleeve and was glaring at him.

"You know, this fabric doesn't come chea-" but Amu cut him off. "So that's it? you're giving up? What about your wish?"

A dark and ugly look passed over Ikuto's face. "It's time for us to face it. The Embryo's never going to show up. Kiddy King here won't get world domination – thank God – and KusuKusu's never going to come back. Or Yoru, or Eru. Or Nagi's blue Chara. And I'm never going to be rid of my father's debt..."

"What about your father?" I asked, puzzled, and Amu, Tadase, and Ikuto all gave me a foreboding look. Okay, so they know something I don't about Mr. Tsukiyomi.

"I don't like it any more than you do, but here's the good news... as long as we can't get it, neither can Easter. Haven't you noticed? They can't see the Embryo any more than they can see Charas."

I've never seen Ikuto talk so much in my life.

Amu opened her mouth to argue, but to our surprise it was Nagihiko who spoke. "It's depressing, but Tsukiyomi has a point."

"NO, he doesn't!" I snapped. "Giving up is like giving in!"

"Yeah?" said Ikuto. "So?"

"....." I glared for a minute, but I couldn't think of anything smart to say.

Amu shook her head furiously. "There has to be a better way for you to escape from them without giving up or the Embryo!"

"I wish there was," Ikuto mumbled, and then spoke louder. "Now can you let go of my shirt sleeve? This stuff is expensive. Thanks for everything," he added, and Amu look so surprised she dropped his arm. "I won't forget, you know."

He jumped into a tree. The branches barely rustled as he moved silently through the leaves, and suddenly Amu stomped off.

"Amu!" I shouted, but Nagihiko held my wrist and refused to let go. "Rima, just calm down."

"NO!" I shouted, and kicked and scratched him furiously. He didn't budge.

"Jeez, Rima-tan, you're mutilating Nagi!" Yaya protested, yanking me away. I hiccupped loudly and held my breath until I went red.

"Please breathe, Rima," Nagihiko reminded me, inspecting the damage – his arms were quite scratched up from my nails.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"No, I feel like doing the same thing." Nagihiko assured me softly.

"Isn't it terrible," Tadase said quietly. "Tsukiyomi Ikuto is back in Easter's hands after all."

I shot him a sideways glance. "I thought you hated him?"

He shrugged noncommittally. "Ikuto was like my brother."

I almost choked, Yaya tripped, and Nagi made a weird noise like a mouse being trodden on.

Tadase didn't say anymore, however, and just stared at the trees above his head.

"Everything else doesn't seem to have any significance anymore, doesn't it," I remarked.

"Yeah," Nagihiko agreed. "Final exam results don't seem that important anymore."

"I was looking forward to getting my History result," said Yaya miserably. "But I can't anymore because Amu-chi and Rima-tan and Nagi are all sad."

"Why are you upset, Fujisaki-san?" Tadase asked. "You didn't know Ikuto..."

"Well, we both like – I mean, we just got to know each other when we went to New York."

"Yeah... may I remind you _who's _fault that was that we were in New York in the first place?" I said snidely.

"Hey! Niigata looks practically the same as 'America', okay?!" Yaya whined, and we all smiled slightly.

Tadase turned to Nagihiko suddenly. "And don't worry about your egg, Fujisaki-san," Tadase comforted him.

Nagihiko smiled sadly. "Yeah. Besides, I still have Temari."

Yaya burst out laughing. "We haven't told Rima-tan, have we? The cleaning race between Kukai-kun and Nagi!"

"When was this?" I demanded. "Back in the Amu-Nadeshiko best friend era? _And I wasn't there?!_"

"Aaaaaaigggghh, don't kill us, Rima!" Nagihiko laughed.

"we were on a trip to a mountain to go skiing n'stuff," Yaya told me excitedly. "And we all were cleaning the wraparound porch... and then Temari character-changed with Nadeshiko – I mean, Nagi – and then she – I mean, he – almost _killed _all of us! Amu-chi and Tada-gay and me! And so then she – he – caught up to Kukai and then he character-changed with Daichi to go faster! So they had this big race around the porch, and then..." Yaya started laughing crazily and Nagihiko took over. "And then..." he looked down, smiling a little ashamedly. "Well, then Temari dropped a banana peel..."

"that's cheating!" I told him, but it didn't sound serious enough because I was laughing so hard.

"All's fair in love and war," he said loftily.

"What's love got to do with this?"

"Aw, you wouldn't understand." Tadase coughed.

I threw my hands up in the air. "I give up... and, by the way, that was the bell that rang just there."

Later

Ri-Ri-tan and Nagi's mark recording

_Science:_

ME: 80%, sixth in the class

NAGI: 87.6%, first in the class

_History:_

ME:75%, tenth in the class (I totally blew the question on who built the great wall of china --- they didn't buy the whole, "Ronald McDonald" conspiracy)

NAGI: 96%, first in the class

_Japanese:_

ME: 81%, fifth in the class

NAGI: 89.9%, first in the class – he was whining all afternoon because if he hadn't translated "Tako" (Octopus) as "Takeout" he would have gotten _90%_.

English

Hanasaki pulled out the doomed sheet of paper. "All right, I'll list off your marks in order from highest to lowest. OK?"

All the crappy students groaned.

"Well, it's your fault for not studying, isn't' it?" she said briskly. "Now, top of the class..."

"There you go," I hissed at Nagihiko. "Your fourth 'top of the class' award, huh?"

"Mashiro!" Hanasaki accused.

"What? I wasn't talking!" I said, sitting straight up in my seat, and everyone laughed.

"What? No, you got top in the class with ninety-eight point four," said Hanasaki-sensei, smiling grimly.

"What? No, but what about..." I trailed off.

"Fujisaki, second in the class with ninety-eight point three."

"wait." I said. "So that means..." I stood up, making my chair fall over, and pointed a finger at Nagihiko, who was rolling his eyes. "I BEAT YOU! HA! I WAS TOP IN THE CLASS, YOU SUCKER! AND YOU COULDN'T BEAT _ME_! THAT MAKES YOU INFERIOR TO _ME_!" I stood up on the chair and laughed Tadase-style. "OH-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-HO-_HO!!!_"

"You beat him by point-one," someone laughed.

"ah-heh." Someone cleared their throat softly.

We all turned around to the back of the class. A tall, pale girl stood there. She had narrow pink eyes and long purple-black hair like Nagihiko's that was loose around her face. She was smiling slightly.

She winked – no, seriously, like in the shojo animes – and said with a little laugh, "I'm _so sorry. _Was _I_ interrupting something?"

"Oh," said Hanasaki-sensei, snapping out of her trance. "N-not really. You're Fujisaki Saeko, right?"

Everyone stared enquiringly at Nagihiko. He had gone absolutely still, and all of us couldn't see his face because he had let his long hair fall between him and the rest of the class.

Saeko Fujisaki nodded once, still smiling widely. "I'm the transfer student."

"Right," said Hanasaki-sensei. She turned to the rest of the class. "This is Fujisaki Saeko, everyone. She just moved here from another school. She... ah..."

"That's alright!" said Saeko, shaking her hair back with a little flick of her slender wrist. "Please, just call me Saeko-chan. Yes, I just transferred here from a boarding school." She stared right at me, a small smile playing around her mouth. "... and I'm Nagihiko's fiancée."

* * *

CLIFFIE NUMBER TWOOO!!!! OMG OMG OMG I'M SO EXCITED...!!!

E hehe heh. I shouldn't be the one getting excited here... but I am, anyway. XD

I'M SOOO SOOO SOSOSOSOSOSOSOSO EFFING EXCITED NOW!!! I'M FREAKING GETTING AN ADRENALINE RUSH HERE FROM ALL THE FUN, HORRID, ANGSTY DRAMA THAT'S JUST _WAITING _TO BE WRITTEN!!! NYAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOOO!!!!

OKAY! I'm so sorry if I freaked you out there. Let me, ah, let me try and type normally. And sorry, this is gonna be über-long.

The name Saeko, if you haven't guessed by now, is a pun --- Saeko Chiba is Nagihiko's voice actor. And in case anyone's wondering, Saeko Fujisaki is Nagihiko's second cousin. A bunch of older traditional families still arrange marriages between extended family in parts of Japan (but it's pretty uncommon still).

Um... I like Saeko-chan. She's... interesting, and she acutally has a lot of depth (But don't worry, you're not supposed to like her!! Don't try and like her!!). She's evil. No, seriously. I haven't even thought about her personality that much and I can already tell you that she's evil and manipulative like Nagi but on a bit of a more malevolent scale.

Horrible Nagi, not telling anyone he was _engaged. _XD

Um... this chapter would be pretty weak without the cliffy at the end. But now that we're into the Saeko arc hopefully things will pick up. (Yes, there are arcs in this story. Only I can see them, because I'm that shitty at writing plot).

Also, the return of Iku-chan... poor Ikuto... I felt obligated to put him in there because he hasn't been getting that much screen time. Damn Satelite. And poor Utau-chan... but no worries, I'm going to copy Amuto-fan-neko-san and stick in a Kutau OVA-thing in this story so that we can clear Amu's path to Ikuto X)

Oh, right. NOTE: Rima-tan's dream at the beginning. Rie Kugimiya is a well-know seiyu (voice actress) that played Hotaru in Gakuen Alice, Taiga in Toradora! and a whole bunch of others that would take too long to name. Aya Hirano is the famous voice actress who voiced MisaMisa from Death Note, Konata Izumi from Lucky Star, and of course Haruhi Suzumiya from Haruhi. Sayuri Yahagi is Mashiro Rima's voice actress and one of the few seiyu's who cannot sing. I believe she also voiced Karin from _Karin_, that anime about the nosebleeding vampire. XD

Anyway, I've been forgetting to do this lately, but here's an except from the next chapter.

'_Saeko smiled sweetly at everyone. 'I can join the guardians, right?' she begged Nagihiko. _

"_No," I said flatly, not even bothering to sugar-coat it. "We already have five guardians. Plus Kukai. That's six people." _

"_but Amu-_chan _told me that they made up a position so that she could join!" Saeko whined. "I only want to be with Nagi-koi!" _

_Nagi-_koi_. How sickening. Not that I care, or anything._

"_Amu!" I accused, looking at her. _

"_Well, you did," she said embarrassedly. _

"_I can be, like, the deuce card or something, right? right?!" _

_Clearly, Saeko is very stupid as everyone knows that a deuce card is the lowest-ranking card in a deck.. Queens beat deuce cards! Ha ha ha! _

_UUUUUUUUUUUUGHHGGGHHH."_

Anyway, the epilogue for this fic is almost done. It's admittedly very strange to write the end before the fic's even over but heck I was bored.

Also, if anyone's in need of an anime to watch while they're waiting for Satelite to get off their lazy asses and make some Amuto/Rimahiko/Kutau/or even some Tadamu since I'm really that desperate, Toradora! is a really good anime! Ryuji is love... haha hahaha. Delinquent eyes... (you won't get any of that if you haven't watched it). I need to watch TD! more, because it actually kinda motivates me to write Rimahiko. This might only be because Taiga is a tsundere like my OOC Rima, but ah well... *shrug*. ( = lazy)

Anyway, I'll be seeing you next chapter OMG OMG!!! *fangirl spasm*

- Kimi-rin~* (new nickname courtesy of Ai-chan-fallen angel. Yes isn't it kawaii-ness? XD)


	44. His Shameless Ways

_Everyone stared enquiringly at Nagihiko. He had gone absolutely still, and all of us couldn't see his face because he had let his long hair fall between him and the rest of the class. _

_Saeko Fujisaki nodded once, still smiling widely. "I'm the transfer student."_

"_Right," said Hanasaki-sensei. She turned to the rest of the class. "This is Fujisaki Saeko, everyone. She just moved here from another school. She... ah..." _

"_Please, just call me Saeko-chan. Yes, I just transferred here from a boarding school quite far away." She stared right at me, a small smile playing around her mouth. "... and I'm Nagihiko's fiancée." _

**(A/N: Zomg, I just realized that rhymes. Hee hee. Away and fiancée... pffffft)**

There was stunned silence for a minute. Then someone went, "good job, Fujisaki!"

Nagihiko still stood absolutely still.

"Engaged," some guy repeated. "For how long? and why didn't he tell us?"

Nagihiko's head went down a little further, like he was ashamed.

"Probably since birth, like in the shojo manga!" one girl squealed.

"You know, you could at least _say _something," I told him irritably, but he stayed silent.

"Eh? Fujisaki died?" the first guy enquired.

I kicked him. Nagihiko fell off the chair, his wig was sent spinning, and we found ourselves looking at a dummy in a uniform.

The whole class burst out laughing. Dammit, I had been talking to a DUMMY!

"I'll go look for him, Hanasaki-sensei," I said, getting up.

"NO!" snapped Saeko, and she suddenly looked scared. "I-I mean, goodness! He's _engaged _to me! I've known him since we were both small. I bet I'll know exactly where he's gone."

Hanasaki-sensei looked painfully confused.

"I'll go. I'm the one who knows the school. And I've known him since grade six." I snapped.

"_I'll go. _I'm the one who loves him. And I've known him since he was _born._" Saeko retorted.

"I'll go. I'm the one who actually has a good idea where he might be."

"_I'll _go! I..."

But what Saeko had, exactly, we never found out because Hanasaki-sensei yelled, "YOU _BOTH _GO!" and threw two hall passes at us.

Outside

I knew exactly where Nagihiko was. On the roof. Behind the school. But I wasn't about to bring Saeko with me.

"Why don't we split up?" I suggested to Saeko sweetly, and I was appalled to see that he expression had changed. She now looked downright murderous.

"Listen here, _shrimp,_" she said, glaring at me. "I suggest you get back inside the classroom and tell them you were too stupid to find Nagi-koi before I _make _you. _Understand?_"

I would have come back with some kind of snappy comment, but all I could do was stare in horror. What happened to the fake, sickeningly sweet girl I had seen before?

"Saeko-chan," a voice suddenly said behind her, "Be nice."

Saeko ignored the voice with a sideways glance at me.

_Rima-chan! _Kanon suddenly told me. _I can sense a Chara!_

She had a Chara? I thought panickingly.

"Hush, Toya," Saeko said out of the corner of her mouth.

"If you're trying to talk to your Shugo Chara without me seeing, it's not working," I said dismissively, and Saeko's jaw dropped. _Ha. _

"You... You have a..." Saeko pointed at me.

Kanon showed herself from inside my school blazer's pocket. "Hello." _Bitch. _

_Kanon, don't talk that way. But I agree. _

_Isn't she though! How sickening. _

"Hello?" Saeko waved her hand angrily. "Honestly! Do you zone out like that all the time?"

"Only when it's someone boring," I said impassively.

"Urgh. What a nasty little girl you are."

"Imagine a nasty girl! Who's ever heard of anything like that?" I said sweetly.

"Whatever," Saeko glided off in the opposite direction of where Nagihiko was. "He's probably here, waiting for me. He's not going to be happy that you came along with me."

Liar.

"Why don't we split up, then?" I said.

"NO." Saeko gave me a very unpleasant smile. Her canines were super-pointy. "You seem to know where he is. Show me."

"No."

"Are you arguing with me?" Saeko said incredulously.

"Yes. I mean, No. I mean, Yes I'm arguing with you because I'm saying No!"

"Wow, you talk confusing. Now, show me where Nagi-koi is and leave."

"I lied," I lied brusquely. "I have no idea where he could be."

"Well then, you're useless," Saeko said dismissively. "Go back."

"What – "

"NOW." Saeko growled, and I went back, pretending to be too exhausted to argue any further.

Three minutes later

As soon as she was out of sight, however, I started running towards the roof.

The roof

As soon as I got my head up, Nagihiko looked at me tiredly. "There you are, Ri-Ri-tan."

I paused.

"Are you going to forgive me for not telling you or the other guardians?" he asked.

"You mean it's true?" I said, feeling my stomach plummet.

"Saeko being engaged to me since birth?" he gave a short, humorless laugh. "It wasn't my decision at all."

I pressed my lips together and puffed out my cheeks.

"You may not like her, Rima-chan, but she's a good person."

I choked.

"... and she has a Chara, too, you know."

"I know," I grumbled. I hadn't seen it when it spoke. "All I know is that she doesn't like Saeko being mean and her name is Toya."

"_He,_" Nagihiko corrected. "You know what her would-be self is?"

"I don't even _want _to know, thinking about what her _actual_ self is like."

"Toya's sweet," said Nagihiko, smiling. "Nice, friendly, sweet, and... hates me," he mumbled.

"Why does he hate you?" I said, shocked. My cheeks slowly deflated.

He shrugged. "Jealousy, I suppose."

I didn't want to ask him what he meant.

"NAGI-KOI!" a voice screeched, and I flinched. "Why are you being nice to _her_? and why did you run away?"

"Rima-chan's my friend," he said, tossing his hair back and ignoring her other question. "You haven't changed at all, I see."

Saeko giggled in a flirtatious manner. "Don't be like that, Nagi-koi. Of course I've changed! I got my hair cut, and..."

"I was referring to your personality and idiosyncrasies."

"Emphasis on the 'idiot' part," I murmured, but only Kanon heard.

"I see you're the same as ever as well. Your big vocabulary!"

Nagihiko rolled his eyes for my benefit. "Okay, we're coming down."

"Don't shove me this ti-" I started, but Nagihiko pushed me down anyway. Saeko laughed snottily, and I felt colour flood my cheeks as she kept laughing excessively.

"Do you hear a pig huffing coke, Nagi?" I said loftily, and I was happy to see the smirk get wiped off her face. Somebody giggled as a Chara's face came into view. He had blonde-orange hair and golden eyes that sparkled in a kind of shoujo-anime-doki-doki fashion.

"Toya!" Saeko growled. "I told you to stay in my bag!"

"I- I'm sorry, Saeko-chan!" Toya stammered.

"Whatever," Saeko fumed. "I'm in the middle of something! Go away!"

_What a wimp, _was Kanon's only comment. _Talk about one-sided love. _

"You could at least be a little nicer to Toya," said Nagihiko weakly, and Toya suddenly glared fiercely at him. "I don't need YOUR help!"

"Hey, don't have a cow at him!" I snapped at the little Chara.

"You have a Chara, too!" he accused.

"Yeah, and she can kick your ass, so I wouldn't be so flippant!"

"A _girl?_ Yeah, right!"

"You masochistic chauvinist, just you see!" Kanon retorted, popping out of my pocket again.

"I didn't understand half of what you said, but bring it on!" Toya retorted, and they started to kick each other.

"Hey!" squeaked Temari, poking her head out and waving her floppy-kimono sleeves in distress. "Don't fight! Hey... hey... HEY!" she roared, bringing out her naginata. "BREAK IT UP, YA WEAK BASTARDS!" and thus, it turned into a three-way-Chara-fight-fest.

"Come on, let's go back," said Nagihiko, turning around, and me and Saeko obediently followed as I fumed. I bet he does like her. I bet he does. So why did he even bother with me?

I stomped off in the opposite direction. And skipped class.

Lunchtime

I was the first one at our usual table, already looking at the paperwork. The only thing in the in-tray was... Saeko's transfer sheet.

I sniffed in disgust and balled it up. I then fished around in my bag for my bento. All I felt was my binder, a couple loose pieces of paper, and something... furry.

"BLEEEHHH!!" Bakatan proclaimed, sliding out of my bag. How his fat ass fit in there at all is a mystery. He had rice all over his whiskers.

"You ate my lunch, you demon-seed!" (Nagihiko word) I yelled at it, throwing Saeko's transfer sheet on the ground. In one swift move, Bakatan gulped the paper down and belched loudly. I smirked.

"Good Bakatan! Eating the evil, evil boyfriend-stealer's transfer form! What a lovely little kitty I've go-"

"Are you... talking to the bag, Mashiro-san?" Tadase enquired, walking in with Kukai and Yaya.

"No, Rima-tan's talking to a cat!" said Yaya, enthralled. "It's very fat!" **(A/N: Zomg that rhymes too!)**

"this is Bakatan. My cat. He snuck into my bag this morning," I said glumly, holding him up.

"hey, it's pretty cute in a fat way," said Kukai cheerfully, scratching him behind his ears. Bakatan bared his teeth in a frightening leer at Kukai. "Okay, you freaky cat, I'm backing off," Kukai, holding his hands off. "Nasty thing."

"Isn't it though," I agreed. "Anyway, you won't believe what happened in English today. This bitchy new girl transferred, and – "

"And I'm Nagi-koi's fiancée, yes!" finished Saeko cheerfully. She was walking with Nagihiko and Amu towards us. _She was still here?_

"But you have the same last name," Amu quietly pointed out. "Isn't that, um... incest – "

"Don't be so _vulgar, _Amu-_chan,_" said Saeko, grinning eerily and slinging an arm around Amu's shoulders so that she choked. "I'm his second cousin! That makes us practically strangers!"

"Yeah... okay..." mumbled Amu. "Whatever you say." **(A/N: shit, that's another rhyme! Geez I'm a retarded one)**.

"Amu-chan!" said Saeko suddenly, still flapping her jaws. "Let's be best friends, okay?"

"E-eh?!"

"When hell freezes over," I said darkly. "I put up with Nagihiko, but letting _you _into the happy circle of drinking buddies is the proverbial last straw."

"I have no idea what 'proverbial' means," said Saeko dismissively, "But stop being so jealous and clingy, you." And she didn't even say "sochira" as in "you". She said "omae". JERK.

**(A/N: There are different ways to say 'you' in Japanese depending on the position. Because Saeko doesn't know Rima very well, she should have said something like 'anata' which is a common polite one. (Rima is joking when she says 'sochira', which is like an equivalent to 'sama'). But omae is usually insulting. For example, in that episode of Shugo Chara! Doki when Nagi comes back and onwards, if you listen carefully enough Rima refers to him as "Omae!" because RiRi doesn't like him (yet XD) but Amu refers to him as 'anata' because she met him once before and he's her BFF's twin bro and blah, blah, blah. Phew, that took a looooong time. But now you're smarter! Yay!)**

Nagihiko rolled his eyes again. His eye sockets are going to start to wear away if he does that any longer.

"A-ano, anyway, Tadase-kun, what are we going to do today?" said Amu, dropping down into a seat. I pointedly sat down between her and Yaya. I've never really appreciated Yaya that much before now, but she's never a) used big hard words and betrayed you, b) not put up a fight when someone tries to steal you or c) ever had malicious thoughts in her life.

"Rima-tan, have you seen this anime yet?" said Yaya cheerfully, showing me a DVD.

"Is it funny?" I asked mildly.

"Ha! Kinda. Well, I think it's funny. One of the characters is a lot like you."

"Called...?"

"Toradora! you're a lot like Taiga Aisaka, Rima-tan! Nagi's like Kitamura-kun with all his big words and evilness," Yaya added as an afterthought. **(A/N: Couldn't resist sticking Toradora! my latest obsession in there. Sorry because for most of you that made no sense and was utterly useless. And sorry about all the random Author's Notes I'm putting in here)**

"Sou desu ka," I said mildly.

"Hey!" Saeko suddenly screeched, from where she was between Nagihiko and Amu's other side. "It's Hotori-chan, right? I have a little something that you can do for me." She smiled flirtatiously. Skank.

"E-eh, okay," said Tadase, like she was asking him to feed himself to crocodiles.

"Well, I'd like to join the guardians."

It was so quiet we could hear Bakatan chewing on Kukai's shoe.

"U-uh..." Tadase stammered. Nagihiko shifted quietly, but it wasn't missed by Saeko Hawkeye.

Saeko smiled sweetly at everyone. 'I can join the guardians, right?' she begged Nagihiko.

"No," I said flatly, not even bothering to sugar-coat it. "We already have five guardians."

"but Amu-chan told me that they made up a position so that she could join!" Saeko whined. "I only want to be with Nagi-koi!"

Nagi_-koi_. How sickening. Not that I care, or anything.

"Amu!" I accused, looking at her.

"Well, you did," she said embarrassedly.

"I can be, like, the deuce card or something, right? Right?!"

Clearly, Saeko is very stupid as everyone knows that a deuce card is the lowest-ranking card in a deck. Queens beat deuce cards! Ha ha ha!

;DJA;.

"Maybe we should let Fujisaki-san decide," said Tadase, easily shoving the burden onto Nagihiko. "He's her second cousin, after all."

Nagihiko was so still for a minute I was ready to kick him again in case he was a dummy. Just when I was about to aim my foot carefully from under the table, he said quietly, "well, I can't think of any reason why she _can't. _We _did _make up a place so that Amu-chan could join."

"But..." Amu began, and mouthed, _Chara?_

"There's no excuse," he said wearily. "She does have a Guardian Character."

"E-eh?!" said Yaya, sitting straight up. "This is the first I've heard of it! Will you introduce her, Saeko-chama?"

Saeko didn't even bother to correct Toya's gender. "Toya will stay put where he belongs, thank you."

"But-" a muffled voice began, but Toya must have felt Saeko's foreboding aura from inside her bag because he fell silent, as did the rest of the table. Finally, Yaya stood up. "You know, Amuto-fan-neko-san once told me that a gay baby is born in every awkward silence! We don't want some innocent child to befall the fate of Tada-gay! Quick, let's talk. Yaya hates tranquility! Which, by the way, is a Nagihiko Word."

I giggled nervously, Kukai scratched the back of his neck, Amu starting playing with the edge of her cuff, and Nagihiko silently continued playing his DS under the table. He would have gotten away with it if Mario hadn't made a noise like a cat getting run over when he got eaten by Donkey Kong. Which he did.

"ARGHIMAMMAMIAWAFFLEDIGIII!!!" Mario shouted in his digitalized voice from under the table, and Nagihiko flushed. "Sorry."

"Hey," I said suddenly. "It's summer, right?"

"No, we're in Narnia," said Nagihiko sarcastically **(The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe reference)**. "Am I right in saying that you've come up with a conversation topic?"

"Nah, I was just thinking about how hungry I was and how I would kill you all for some spareribs. And then that got me thinking about it would be fun if we threw a barbeque to, um, welcome _Fujisaki-san_" I put emphasis on the formal title "or something. That's what people do in the summer, right? Barbequing?"

"Hey, that would be pretty fun," Amu admitted. "It's been a while since we had any parties. We should be celebrating... we got a new guardian! And school's nearly over!"

Yaya nodded her head furiously, and Saeko grinned at everyone. She then shot a suspicious look at me. She was probably loving all this party-throwing in her honour, but wondering why I was being so nice. To tell you the truth, I was doing it for Nagihiko, however pissed-off I was.

"this Saturday would be good, I guess," Kukai decided. And then the bell rang.

In the halls between classes

Saeko, thank god, finally had to go to the bathroom so that I was free of hearing her irritating voice wherever I went. Boys _fawned _over her, and Saeko did nothing to discourage it. Amu explained that Nagihiko had been popular with the boys as well.

"Well, he still is, isn't he?" I asked dully, not wanting to talk about the Betrayer.

"Uhhhh, no. I meant... he was popular with them because, uh."

"Oh!" I said. "Right."

Ha. Cross-dresser.

Amu looked over her shoulder suddenly. I tried to follow her gaze, but before I knew it she smirked at me and evaporated.

"Hey," said The Betrayer, falling into step beside me. I looked out the window as if seagulls digesting a potato chip bag was more attention-occupying.

"What is it?" he said dully.

"Nothing's 'it'," I said, in my something-is-obviously-it voice.

"Hello, Saeko-chan!" said Nagihiko, waving to someone over my shoulder. I snapped, "Where?!"

"Ha," he said, pulling me around the corner and away from my History class.

"I'm going to be late!" I protested.

"It's a free period, dip-shit." **(I give full credit to Amuto-fan-neko-san for that insult. Hahaha.)**

"I don't even know what a dip-shit is, but what do _you _want?" I growled.

"I want us to go for a walk."

"It's _freezing _out there!" Not exactly _freezing, _but it was a mild summer and the sky was overcast. Not even a wind stirred the trees.

"Woot. Maybe we'll see some penguins."

Outside in Antarctica

The sky may have been gray and threatening rain, but the shroud of clouds covering all of East Asia, according to the Weather Channel, held in every scrap of heat and made the place so unbearably humid that I pulled off my sweater after only five minutes out in the damp warm air. It was like being in the tropics.

We walked in silence, my socks soaking up the wet air and starting to make a weird _smunch, smunch _noise against the pavement. My hair started to fluff up, so I pulled it over my shoulder. "Well?"

He gave me his mournful dark-eyed I'm-a-puppy-that's-just-been-kicked look. "Well, what? What's your problem with Saeko-chan?"

"She's a bitch."

He sighed. "She thinks the same thing. Why do you guys hate each other?"

"Are you blind?" I blurted out.

He went still. "Not really."

"Then... well..." I was at a loss for words. Again.

"So you're jealous," he said, not even bothering to make it sound like a question.

"Heck no! I couldn't care less about who you're engaged to! Or who you'll marry! Or..."

"Oh, don't do the crying thing," Nagihiko begged. I felt tears prick my eyes.

"I'm not crying," I hissed, and a tear rolled off my cheek. Nagihiko wiped it off with the edge of his finger. "I can't do anything about it," he said gently. "And besides..." the corner of his mouth lifted. "Why do you care?"

"I'm your friend. Amu-chan cares, too."

"No she doesn't."

"Well then!" I said, wiping my eyes. "I'm the only one who can clearly see she's evil, then. If Amu knew, she's try and stop you as well."

"Uh-huh," he said reluctantly, as another tear fell onto the gray cement. "Then why are you crying?!"

"I'm being stupid," I muttered. "I shouldn't care about an ungrateful idiot who fraternizes with a no-good lazy-ass Jezebel..."

He tossed his hair back.

"You seriously do that on purpose, don't you?" I snapped.

"Hm? Oh, that's just a bad habit." He started petting me absent-mindedly. "Just... try to be nice to her, okay? Randomly suggesting a party was a good start, actually. Saeko likes a fuss."

"Mph," I mumbled, wiping my eyes furiously.

"God, you're going to wear a hole in your sleeve," Nagihiko grabbed my wrist.

"Who cares?"

He stopped petting me like a housecat.

"Nagihiko?"

"What?!" he snapped back to attention. "Oh, I was just thinking. What did you say?"

"Who cares... hey, you're staring off into space again! What are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"Yeah, right," I shot back.

"Fine then. I was thinking about how to tell my mother that I should stop Japanese dancing."

"What?!" I almost tripped. Nagihiko had been loyally practicing it for years, to make up for the time he should have spent in Europe. "Why?!"

"I was thinking I should stop trying so hard to be who my parents want me to be. It's annoying. I thought that I might want to join the basketball team, and the two practices would interfere with each other."

I thought about this for a minute, and then looked up at him fiercely. "You should do it."

"Really?" he exhaled. "Good."

"What do you mean, good?"

He shrugged vaguely.

"Don't be _vague_," I said, using a Nagihiko Word, and he snorted. "Vocab sheet-stealer."

"They make good insults."

"I noticed." He turned to listen to a shrieky voice. "that's Saeko... what's she done _this _time?"

"Fine then. Go see Saeko-_chan, _your lover," I said coldly.

He forced my chin up, and stared at me hard. "You know, admitting jealousy isn't some kind of crime punishable by law, Rima."

"I..." I started, my brain working furiously to think up some kind of snappy comeback, but instead I just felt heat rush to my face. "I... what..."

He blinked innocently, waiting for me to say something. I was still utterly aware of his long fingers curled under my face. I felt like one of girls from _Vampire Knight --- _getting hypnotized by the vampire's eyes before they eat you.

**(A/N: Zomg, wouldn't that be a super Rimahiko story?! Nagihiko the vampire. And RiRi-tan's a vampire hunter or something. Hmm.... a badass Rima with a gun. Okay, I'm getting off topic here, back to the story!)**

_Poing. _

Ahahaha, I love you, Kanon-chama.

"Depraved, chauvinistic, happy-go-lucky crow-footed vampiric nonsensically idiotic JERK!" I blurted out triumphantly.

His eyebrows flew up. "You little cheater. You used Kanon."

"Of course I didn't!"

"You know what?" he asked in his fake-sweet voice. "Nobody likes cheaters."

"Nobody likes cross-dressers either."

"Yes, but cheating is worse. You should get punished for that kind of thing." His finger started to move up my neck.

"You're sick."

Somehow, his face ended up frighteningly close to mine. "Not so good at insulting now, are you?"

My voice died away, and Nagihiko smiled unpleasantly.

"You _sadist_!" I accused.

"It's sae-dist. Not _sadist._ You pronounce the _A." _

I grabbed his collar, which unfortunately only brought his face closer. He had dark brwon flecks in his eyes that I had never noticed before. "I pronounce it the way I like! Stop being so picky!"

"Rima, you're going to choke me if you keep that up."

I started dragging him along behind me by his shirt collar.

"Haha," he laughed, giving me the perverted-Ikuto smirk. "It's like I'm your bitch --- Ow!"

**(A/N: Good old Phoebe. I stole this from Friends). **

"That's what you get," I said serenely.

"So... violent," said Nagihiko, rubbing his head. "Did it have to be on the head?"

I stopped and let go of his shirt. "What? I didn't hit you on the head! I kicked you in the shin! So who..."

"MREEEEEEHHHH." Bakatan mewled.

"Damn cat," I told him, as Nagihiko held it up.

"Geez, this is like the purest example of obesity," was Nagihiko's only comment.

* * *

Please excuse any grammar/punctuation/typo mistakes, i'm being lazy. the quality WILL improve with the next chappie.

Bleh. Shitty chapter. That is to say, good start but a pretty weak ending. Only made better by some Rimahiko and the reappearance of Bakatan. I love Bakatan-chan. He iz Gawd so I couldn't resist sticking him in here.

And the original scene from Friends that I stole a bit from was where Phoebe was leaning on Rachel and Monica going, "If we were in prison, you'd be my bitches!" XD

At least I've found a reason for living again... OH YES! THE SHUGO CHARA EPISODE! Nagi saved Rima in a very prince-charming-like-way, and then Nagi and Rima exchanged three, maybe four lines of conversation! Omg omg omg squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the preview gave my Amuto fangirl a reason for living as well! Finally, that creepy bitch from France is gone and we get to see the return of Ikuto – FINALLY. If it's just another episode filled with Tadamu, I'm seriously going to board the red-eye to Tokyo and kill those dumb bastards at Satelite. I'm sorry, but there have been way too many fillers. Waaaaaay too many.

Nagihiko's outfits are getting more interesting with every episode. Ponchos... and funny hats... and Rima's are getting much... frillier. Pft.

Oh, and...

THE STORY BEHIND THE WEIRD BARBEQUE IDEA

I like barbeques. Barbeques is how a summer should be spent, gnawing off the leg of some cow. Mmmm. Also, I was typing that section a few days ago, on one of those warm summer nights where your richer-than-you neighbors get the sudden urge to throw some animal on their expensive stainless-steel $10,000 grills. So, as the guardians started their meeting in Microsoft word, Tsuki-no-kimi started smelling burning meat and her carnivore instincts kicked in.

*sigh*

I'm sorry to all vegetarians out there =_=

- Kimi-rin~*


	45. His Second Cousin

Saturday morning, the crack of dawn

The sun started shining irritatingly into my eyes, interrupting my nice dream about... what was it? It was something about Nagihiko and wedding dresses and church. Oh well.

More importantly, why is sun shining through my window at all?! I thought I had curtains to block this kind of thing?!

Shielding my face, I squinted at the window. The curtains... were in shreds on the floor.

"BAKATAN," I growled.

Five minutes later

I had managed to float somewhat back to sleep. It seemed like I was continuing on my dream of whatever I had before... something about... reception? And children? And house-buying? And for some reason Nagihiko was there the entire time, the annoying bastard. Like I can't even get rid of him in real life, now he's stalking me in my dreams as well.

Anyway, then a loud noise started to play. "CHANTO KOKO NI ITE! WATASHI NO CHIKAKU DE! ZUTTO WATASHI WO ITSUMO, ITSUMO MITSUMETE NASAI..." It was a minute before I realized it was my cell phone's ring tone, which had been changed to some song from this anime called Zero-no-something-or-other. I managed to flip it open and bring it somewhere closer to my ear.

"Hello?" I said politely, but it ended up sounding more like, "habluflo?"

"O-HA-YO, ICHIGOOOO!!!" a deep voice shouted into the phone. _Shit, it was YAYA!_ Moreover, why was she imitating that dude's dad from _Bleach_? "THAT IS TO SAY, RIMA-TAAAN!!!" Yaya corrected herself.

"What do you want?" I said, but it sounded more like, "whutye' wan'?"

"I want you to meet me and Amu-chan and Tada-gay and Nagi at Tada-gay's house in ten!" Yaya ordered.

I found my articulation (Nagihiko word) returning. "In ten _minutes?_"

"NO," said Yaya, using Nagi's Rima-you're-being-silly-voice. "In ten HOURS, bakabaka Rima-chan!"

"Why the fuck did you call me at seven o'clock in the morning, then?" I growled into the mouthpiece menacingly.

_Click._

Hate Yaya.

Later

I stomped downstairs, where Bakatan was sitting on my mother's head like an obscenely ugly hat. My mother was just laughing. Sometimes I think that my mother is on Valium or some kind of other weird drug that makes her half-asleep.

I was in my pyjamas, looking extremely sleepy with my hair standing on end like an angry hamster. And conveniently that was when I saw Nagihiko AT MY KITCHEN table, reading the newspaper like a senile old grandfather. First Ikuto, then Nagihiko! What is with these people's attraction to the newspaper? And it wasn't even the comics section.

"Good morning, Rima," said Nagihiko pleasantly. "Or should I say, Good _afternoon, _as it's one-thirty. Do you always sleep in this late?"

I turned accusingly to my mother. "Why did you let a homeless person in?"

"Well, I asked your mother if you were up yet," Nagihiko snorted, "And she said you were still asleep. And then she asked if I wanted breakfast."

"Nagihiko's practically part of the family, Rima-chii!" my mother told me gleefully. "You should be a tad nicer!"

"How's he part of the family?" I demanded.

"Well, you're probably going to get married or something as soon as you graduate…"

I choked on my waffles, but Nagihiko just stifled his laughter and started humming the wedding march quietly under his breath.

"Shut up," I hissed at him, and kicked him hard in the shin. He kicked me back, only it was a lot harder because he had shoes on **(A/N: I know they take off their shoes before entering a house in Japan and blahblahblah so let's just pretend he was wearing extremely lethal slippers or something)**.

"See?!" my mother pointed out. "You're even playing footsie under the table, you little shy things, you." And then she supposedly cuffed us in an affectionate manner and gave us more waffles.

Ten Minutes Later

I didn't know one person could eat so many waffles. Nagi's stomach is like a bottomless pit. And my mother keeps grinning and grinning and GIVING HIM MORE AND MORE DAMN WAFFLES!! I swear, that woman is married to her waffle iron. And that man is married to his food.

They're the ones who should get married.

Twenty Minutes Later

Finally, I coughed nastily and said, "Well, Nagi, I guess you'd better tell me why you _actually _came, besides inhaling waffle."

"Oh," he smiled beatifically (Nagihiko word) at my mother. "I was just wondering if me and Rima-chan could go out for awhile because my cousin needs to run some errands." He widened his big golden-brown eyes innocently. "Of course I won't do anything _untoward _Mashiro-kun… because I wouldn't do _anything _like that and I am definitely not the playboy type…"

I coughed, "Yeah, right."

"And then afterwards – I don't know if Rima told you? We'll be going to a barbecue. I promise she'll be back by six…"

_It's like he's trying to convince your mom to take you on a _date_, _said Kanon gleefully.

"… and oh, I don't suppose I told you this but my second cousin is a girl so she'll make sure nothing happens to your daughter. You see, she's rather fond of me, and any competition…" he made the 'kill' gesture.

"Wait --- SAEKO'S COMING?!" I yelled, standing up so quickly that my chair fell backwards. "I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH THAT…"

"Why, that's sounds fun! I wish I could come, too!" my mother exclaimed gleefully, clapping her hands like a little baby who's been presented with an especially lovely present. "Rima-tan really needs to get out more often, and it sounds fun! I take it that your cousin and Rima-chan are friends, so no need to be strict about deadlines for getting home," she laughed giddily. "You just have fun, you hear? You're not going to get that much fun in college with all that homework, so ya gotta live it up in high school!"

**(A/N: Shit, I want to swap my 'rents with Ri-Ri-tan's mom. Live it up in high**** school! Let me go to parties on Saturday nights with hot guys! XD)**

_Is she drunk?_ Kanon asked happily.

"Wait, I haven't said I'm going to go yet!" I said, raising my voice.

"We'll be careful," said Nagihiko.

"I'M NOT GOING OUT WITH THAT SKANK IN PUBLIC!" I yelled as loud as I could.

"Better go upstairs and get dressed, Ri-ma-chan!" said my mother, reciting my name's syllables in a singsong.

I stomped upstairs.

Five Minutes Later

"Let's go, then," said Nagihiko cheerfully.

"NO."

"Bye, Mrs. Mashiro!"

"NO."

"We'll be back in a bit!"

"IS NO ONE LISTENING TO WHAT I'M SAYING?!" I yelled.

"Yeah, we're just ignoring you."

Outside

Saeko was waiting out there, looking as extremely grumpy as me. She was wearing a long-sleeved shirt and flared hippie-jeans, which was weird for this weather. "There you are, Nagi-koi. It took you long enough! Like, an hour!"

"You could have come inside," said Nagihiko placidly. I was happy to see that he wasn't even noticing her that much.

"And why does Mashiro have to come?!" Saeko demanded.

"And why do I have to come?!" I demanded.

Nagihiko just rolled his eyes. "Because you asked me to go shopping with you, but sadly I am not a girl… contrary to the hairstyle. I have no wish to go shopping. If you wanted someone else's opinion, you could have asked some girl and Rima-chan just happened to be closest to our house."

I noticed how he said _our. _She's LIVING WITH HIM?! "You're LIVING WITH HIM?!" I said, actually turning to Saeko.

"Jealous?" said Saeko smugly. "Of course. My parents are back in Hokkaido, and so they said I could live with my cousins-once-removed. Duh."

I gritted my teeth and decided to just move on. "And why do you need to go shopping, anyway? Because you have nothing to wear but jeans in the summer?"

"Actually, yes," said Saeko loftily. "In Hokkaido, it's gets very cold, you know." She said it in the kind of voice of a kindergarten teacher during Circle Time, as if I thought Hokkaido was a desert or something.

I sighed irritably as we started walking.

Five hours later

AAAAAHHH.

HELLLLLPPP.

I'M GOING TO DIE BEFORE SAEKO STOPS SHOPPING.

She floats around aimlessly, like some kind of denim-clad fairy, drifting through sale racks and full-price new arrival stacks. "This looks nice," she'll say vaguely, and then she'll add it to her giant pile. When her pile of Maybes are piled up too high for both me and Nagi to carry, she'll look all surprised and go "Goodness, that was fast! I guess I'd better go try them on!" In the changing rooms, she'll discard 9/10 of the pile. Which was why by the time five hours had elapsed, she only had a small bag of clothes. I started falling asleep in the chair.

Nagi whacked me on the shoulder. "Rima, wake u-u-u-u-u-up," he yawned. Directed at Saeko, he said in his sweet persuasive voice, "Saeko-chan, we're going to miss the get together at Tada-g – I mean, Hotori's house."

"Oh, I suppose," she said nastily.

"You wouldn't be – _sweet_ enough – to hurry up, would you?" said Nagihiko, as if the word _sweet _was some kind of secret password. Which, I was to learn, it kind of was in the kind of way that 'prince' triggers a character-change for Tada-gay. Suddenly, a gold spiral appeared in Saeko's dark hair, she plastered on a sugary smile, and called (very loudly) and in a weird nice voice, "KEEP WITH ME, RIMA-TAN, NAGI-KOOOIII!" and started zooming around the store, throwing random stuff into her bag. All the clerks jerked up, looking extremely frightened as she knocked over a cardboard cutout of Celine Dion **(A/N: The only way you will ever get that is if you watch TDI season one. Duncan… pttthhhhbt *stifles laughter) **and shoving past old grandmas on walkers. "I'M SO SORRY!" she cried in that sweet voice, and they all grinned. "That's quite okay, dear! Quite okay!"

Scary Bananas.

On the way to Tada-gay's house

On the way there, Saeko danced down the sidewalk, waving multiple shopping bags. As she spun around, I couldn't help but wonder what type of dance she was doing.

"Is that…" I began to Nagi, and he nodded. "Japanese dancing? Yes. She dances too, like me… or, like I used to," he mumbled.

I noticed that the golden yellow spiral was still in her hair. "And… that character change…"

"Toya's," he confirmed. "Like I said. Sickeningly sweet. She gets a kind of happy charisma when she character-changes."

"_What_?!"

"Go see for yourself," he murmured. Saeko was waving at every passerby, and as she did, something seemed to come over them and they grinned just as widely as her.

"Creepy," I shuddered.

"Damn straight. This one time when we were five… I thought my face was going to stick that way if a gust of wind came along."

Tada-gay's house

Everyone was there by the time we arrived, out in Tada-gay's gargantuan backyard that's almost as huge as Nagihiko's. Why do all my friends have giant, traditional Japanese houses?

A few feet before the back gate, with a little _Poing_, the spiral disappeared. Saeko's face quickly turned from cheerful to downright murderous, and then into her fake-sweet face. "Nagi-koi! Let's go!"

"You know, guys don't like clingy girls," I said nastily.

"They don't like tsunderes either," she retorted.

"At least I don't call him _koi_."

"I love him!" she protested, and I fake-gagged. "Right."

"We're going to be MARRIED," she said dangerously. **(A/N: The more I think about it, the more I think that Saeko's a cross between Ai Minase from I-O-N and Kagura Sohma from Fruits Basket)**.

"When did you decide that?" Nagihiko said nervously. I could tell the idea of getting married scared him.

"RIGHT NOW." She suddenly giggled. "Let's go, then! Hee, hee! I wanna say hello to Amu-_chan_."

"I'm coming too," I growled.

"No, I don't want _you _to come," she whined like she was Queen.

"Well, too bad! Nagi's _mine,_" I said without thinking.

Nagihiko started fighting back a grin.

"And don't you smirk like that, it's not in THAT way!" I hissed at him. "You owe me. So you're in servitude (Nagihiko word) to me now."

"And how is he indebted to you?" scoffed Saeko.

"Well, he had no one else to angst to when he couldn't tell Amu he was Nadeshiko so HA," I replied, sticking out my tongue at her.

"STOP BICKER-BICKERING!" Yaya shouted, appearing out of nowhere. In the background, Tadase was wearing a dorky hat and trying to put out five-foot-high flames on the barbeque, while Amu dithered about yelling distantly, "Tadase-kun! Tadase-kun!" Utau was tied to a lawn chair looking murderous with Kukai next to her talking nonstop.

Seems like the party's going well.

Hee, hee.

Yaya had the voodoo doll again. She was putting in complicated-looking yoga stretches.

"Er…" I directed my question at Yaya. "Why's Utau tied up?"

"To keep her from going after Ikuto-chii," Yaya said placidly. "Want a burnt hot dog? Of course you do!"

"Why are they burnt?!" Saeko demanded.

"Tada-gay's not very good with the barbeque," Yaya said, leaning over and whispering conspiratorially as she handed us both paper plates and charred-looking hard things in buns. "Kiseki told him to add gasoline so he did." Yaya ran back to the barbeque and started dancing around, trying without success to put out the flames with her sweater while Amu ran inside to get baking soda **(A/N: Remember, Kiddies! Always put out gas fires with baking soda not water, you fucking morons! And now back to our show! (Yeah imma Girl Guide. Cookies?))**

Nagihiko coughed something that suspiciously sounded like, "Baka!" and drifted off to join Kukai and Inmate Utau, leaving Saeko and me in a _very _awkward silence.

Saeko gnawed on a piece of charcoal in a bun as she listened to the music playing out of Yaya's pink iPod and speakers. "I know this song," she said suddenly. "'Suki, Kirai, Suki!' by Rie Kugimiya. From the anime _Zero no Tsukaima_."

"Yeah, that song's my ringtone," I said, making a pathetic stab at conversation. Saeko didn't reply. She was looking at Nagihiko, who was chatting happily with Kukai while a very disgruntled Utau tried to pick at the knots holding her to the chair. "You like him, don't you?" she said in a low voice.

"What?" I said, pretending to be stupid.

"Don't be stupid!" she snapped, displaying the Fujisaki talent of reading minds. "You like Nagi, don't you?"

"Y-yes," I stammered, feeling the heat rise to my face.

Saeko fell into what seemed a very thoughtful silence. Then suddenly, she turned to me, eyes crackling with flame. "Then… I CHALLENGE YOU, RIMA MASHIRO, TO A _FIGHT_!!!" She yelled suddenly, pointing her finger at me. Everyone turned around and stared as 'Suki? Kirai? Suki!' ground to a stop.

"Uh…"

"Good… good…" she murmured furiously. "THEN LET'S GO!" she whirled on me, and Yaya let out a strangled giggle. _Help me_! I telepathic-messaged Amu and Nagihiko, but they both gave me a _sorry, you're alone on this one _face.

Jerks.

Challenge-thing

"It's lucky Tada-gay's yard is so big," Saeko commented, her eyes gleaming evilly. "We race to that far tree and back. Whoever wins gets Nagi. Here are the rules. No character changes, no steroids," ("Where the hell would we get them on such notice?" I muttered darkly) "and NO CHEATING. CHEATING IS FOR WEAK BASTARDS!" She said, her voice rising to a yell. We all shrank back.

Nagihiko was just sitting next to Amu, still fighting back a silly smile. I bet he thinks this is all drop-dead hilarious.

"AND- GO!" she suddenly yelled, and I pulled out a manga as Saeko started running like a maniac.

"What are you doing, Rima?!" Amu shrieked. "Run!"

"I don't like running," I said impassively.

Nagihiko started laughing. "Am I the only one who thinks this is a joke?"

"No," I said.

"YES," everyone else chorused back.

As Saeko started running back, I suddenly got a hit of inspiration – and even without Kanon's help. As Saeko shot past me like a bullet, I simply stuck a foot out. Saeko tripped and fell, skidding a full ten feet like some kind of kickass airplane crash.

"Oh, dear, I'm disqualified for cheating," I said sweetly. "I guess it's null and void."

Saeko glared at me, and I did something very odd and unlike me. I bent down and offered her a hand, and smiled slightly. Saeko glared for a minute longer and then, with what looked like extreme difficulty, bit her bottom lip and took my hand. _Why do I feel a sense of déjà vu? _I wondered.

Saeko yanked on my hand, and I fell sprawling in the dirt next to her.

**(A/N: See Shugo Chara! Doki episode 62)**

"Payback!" she said gleefully. "Nagi-koi taught me that one!"

"I'm never helping a Fujisaki ever again," I growled as Nagihiko collapsed next to us, laughing his ass off.

After the party

"Urgh," Nagihiko groaned. "You _both_ need new clothes to wear home. Honestly, who are the boys now, racing in the dirt?" For some reason, he smirked at Saeko as he said this. Saeko just rolled her eyes. "It was all for _you,_ Nagi-koi!" she protested, putting on puppy eyes. "And you didn't even _care_!"

"Whatever!" Nagihiko and Saeko both rolled their eyes at the same time, something that creeped me out because they looked so alike. Except Saeko's hair was a bit shorter. "Rima-chan, why don't you come over and Saeko will lend you clothes or something?" Nagihiko asked politely. Saeko didn't even protest, something that surprised me. "Yeah, whatever," she decided.

Nagihiko's house

Nagihiko's mom swooped down on me the minute the three of us went inside. "RIMA-CHAN! How are you? Glad to see you're being such a good influence on my niece!"

"Oh, I think she's beyond help," I muttered darkly, and Nagihiko snorted quietly.

Saeko's room

IS INSANE. You're imagining a nice, girly room with frilly curtains and maybe a canopy, right? Wrong. It's pretty normal, kinda like any Japanese traditional room with some nice red orchids in the window or whatever, except it looks like a bunch of DYNAMITE went off in here. I thought MY room was messy, but this place is just… wow. There's stacks of paper, piles of clothes, and there's even a French horn in the corner. And violin strings scattered everywhere. Manga in another corner, and then there's a live white cat curled up on a pile of kimonos that she didn't even fold.

"The place is looking a bit clean," Saeko commented. "You can change in here. But you better return all my clothes, or…" she drew a finger across her throat. "DEATH."

I'm actually quite scared.

Five minutes later

Saeko came back, in a t-shirt and shorts. "Finally," she grumbled, "I can actually enjoy summer."

"What, do you live in Narnia?" I grumbled.

"No, like I said, Hokkaido. Summers there means you can go out without a winter coat on."

"Cripes."

"Yep," she said flatly.

There was something weird about not seeing her bundled up that I couldn't place. I must have been looking at her funnily, because she snapped, "What is it? You're looking at me weird."

Just then, I realized. "Saeko," I said slowly, forgetting the honorific, "You're… _flat._"

She gasped, and turned red. "HEY! IT'S NOT MY FAULT! THAT'S THE WAY I HAVE TO BE!" she pointed accusingly at me. "BESIDES, SO ARE _YOU_!"

"Hey, not as much as you! You could have a guy-chest for all there is there!"

Saeko fell into a disgruntled silence.

"Glad to see you two are getting along," said Nagihiko sarcastically from the doorway. His mother was close behind. "Rima-chan, it's getting pretty late. Why don't you sleep over here tonight?"

"WHAT?! NO!" we both shouted at the same time.

"I'll call your mother, then," Nagihiko's mom giggled.

Eviiiiiilll.

How the hell will I survive at least 12 hours with Saeko?

Well, I'll just think of it as a sleepover with Nagihiko instead.

Even though that's pretty wrong.

10:00

Me, Saeko, and Nagihiko are all clumped together on the couch, watching TV. We've just finished sleeping through Grey's Anatomy while Nagihiko sits there, biting his nails and saying stuff like, "How can you be so _blind _to that poor doctor's affections?" and "Nooo! Stupid, what are you doing? Don't just let him DIE!" Near the end, Saeko started to say icily, "Nagi-koi, are you drunk? Because that's the only reason I can think of that would entitle you to be talking to the television."

"What else is on TV?" I said dully.

"_The Sopranos_, _Naruto_, and _Barney_."

"Let's go with _Naruto." _

"K," said Nagihiko, pulling out the remote.

"I'M NOT GONNA TAKE BACK MY WORDS! THAT'S THE WAY OF THE NINJA! BELIEVE IT!" Something neon orange screamed in terrifying English, shattering the Fujisakis' surround sound speakers. Hiragana subtitles zoomed across the bottom of the screen.

"What the hell happened to the good old Japanese version?!" I screamed, clinging to Nagi and Saeko. "What happened? THEY KILLED UZUMAKI NARUTO!!!" I screamed, rocking back and forth.

**(A/N: E****quivalent to my reaction when I was scrolling through channels one day and came across the dubbed Naruto. BELIEVE IT!) **

"Calm down, spaz!" Saeko shouted, and Nagihiko hugged me. "It's okay! The Japanese Naruto still lives on in our hearts!"

I sniffed as we watched the episode.

"Hehe! Perverted Sage! What kind of jutsu are ya gonna teach me today? Walking through fire? Or…" GAAAAAAAAASSSSSSPPP. "Walking through AAAIIIIIIRRR!!!"

"He's a fucking retard," said Saeko, staring in awe and voicing all our opinions. "This is even worse than the Ouran High Host Club English dub!" she put on a high pitched voice. "'Haruhi! Come to daddy!' Tamaki was played by the same dude who did Ed in FMA. It was SO fucked up!"

Nagihiko grinned. "Oh, yeah? What about _Sailor Moon?_ We used to watch that show a lot when we were little…" ("Since you had to pretend to actually like shojo?" I asked.) "… they totally messed it up! The two lesbian lovers in the Japanese version were made to be cousins since they thought shoujo-ai was inappropriate for American children."

"… and Tokyo Mew Mew! They renamed it Mew Mew Power and they renamed Ichigo Momomiya as ZOEY-F**KING-HANSON!" Saeko exclaimed.

Nagihiko snorted. "Did you see the _Fruits Basket _dub? That one was the WORST." He put on his half-Nadeshiko, half-imitation voice. "'Hey there, I'm Tohru Honda! Blah, blah, blah!' he put on a weird scratchy voice. "AND I'M KYO! YER A BASTARD!'"

"And Bleach!" I reminded them. "Orihime's voice was soooo messed up!"

"I know! The Japanese version was way better!"

"Damn Funimation!"

"Screw licenses! I can just watch it on VEOH any day!"

And thus we started ranting about idiotic anime American dubs.

12:00

"It's midnight!" I said, enthralled.

"Let's watch a scary movie!" Saeko suggested.

"NO," I said loudly. **(A/N: See Chapter 6)**

"Why not?" asked Saeko, curious.

"Well…" Nagihiko began, and I socked him furiously in the shoulder. Sadly, he caught my fist before it made contact with him, and pinned me to the couch with one hand. "Once we were watching this really scary movie and then Rima started shaking and practically crying and then…"

"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!" I shouted. "HE'S A LIAR! I WASN'T SCARED AT ALL!"

"Aww," Saeko teased, giving a very Nagihiko-like smirk. "Little Rima-chii is scaredy of the widdle movies? So then what happened?"

I gave him a dark look.

"And then…" he looked at me sideways. "She made me turn off the movie."

I exhaled in relief. Saeko would have killed me if she heard how he had held my hand and ended up comforting me through most of it. And just when we were decently getting along, too.

Saeko still looked a bit confused, but nodded anyway. "So, what are we gonna watch? I'm sick of watching Naruto reruns, believe it!"

She was saved from deciding anything, as at that point Nagihiko's mom came in. "you kids are still up?! GET TO BED!!!" she roared. "AND DON'T YOU KIDS EVEN THINK ABOUT SHARING BEDS!"

"What do you take us for, perverts?!" I said indignantly.

"Oh, I wasn't talking about you, Rima-chan, I was talking about Nagi-kun!" said Nagihiko's mom, putting on an unpleasant smile.

"But we're going to be married anyway, so it doesn't matter!" Saeko said indignantly.

I just sighed.

2:00 AM

"Gross," I pointed to a dress in the magazine. "Who'd be caught dead in that garbage bag?"

"Good question," Saeko groaned. "What happened to wearing _heels _to functions? This person's wearing canoe-shoes!"

"That's horrible!" I said, aghast. "Her feet are massive!"

"I know! _Somebody _needs to wear more flattering footwear!"

Without thinking about it, I giggled unconsciously, and Saeko looked at me, startled.

"What?" I said defensively, but Saeko just looked back down, smiling.

8:30 AM

I woke up to see Saeko's face really close to mine.

"AIGH!" I screamed, falling off my futon.

"Woah!" Saeko leaned back, laughing giddily. "You were still asleep?!"

"Why were you watching me sleep?" I accused.

"'cause you look cute when you sleep!" Saeko retorted. With a start, I remembered Nagihiko telling me the same thing.

Fujisakis are all creepers.

Speak of the devil. Nagihiko himself was standing in the doorway, looking a bit concerned for some reason but mostly amused, already fully dressed.

"How long have you been UP?" I asked, aghast.

"Since six," he said mildly.

We both stared at him in horror.

"I would have been up at five-thirty as usual, but _some people_," he looked right at us. "Were up _giggling _raucously (New Nagihiko word?) until THREE in the MORNING!"

"Why can't you just be happy that we're getting along?!" I asked.

Nagihiko sighed, but didn't answer. He just turned around and left.

"What's with him?" I said blankly, getting changed. I saw that Saeko was already in a jeans and an odd sweatshirt that might have belonged to Nagihiko.

Saeko stared at the door. "Jealousy, I guess."

"What? Why!" I said, staring at her. She blushed. "Well... I dunno." She turned to me. "But you know, for someone who likes Nagi you really can talk to him normally can't you?"

I still looked at her, surprised. "I guess I'm just used to him. And, well..." I shrugged, trying to put what I felt like into words. "... I guess I'm just kind of used to the idea that he'll never like me back. You know? And, wait a minute," I said sternly. "Don't you like Nagi?"

Saeko gave me a mysterious smile. "Not anymore. I think I'm falling in love with someone else now."

I started. "Do I know him?"

"Him?" she echoed. "Yes, I think you know them very well."

"Can you tell me?" I said cautiously. "I could help you, if you want."

"That's a kind offer," she said, giving me a mischievous smile. "Want me to show you?"

"Okay," I smiled. God, this was like some kind of chick-lit novel.

Saeko quickly leaned in then, so that she was nose-to-nose with me.

"What are you..." I began, but I was quickly cut off because at that moment, Saeko's mouth touched mine and she kissed me. She quickly pulled back, looking uncharacteristically anxious.

I just gasped for a minute and then I looked at her wide-eyed. "I – what – Saeko, I'm not..." I trailed off, trying to make myself clear without talking.

"Do you have to be?" Saeko said in a low voice, and she suddenly took a deep breath.

I stood up. "I think I need to go home," I stammered.

"Wait." Saeko grabbed my hand and pulled herself up, facing me. "Rima-chan, I haven't been entirely honest with you. The thing is..." she looked pained. "Let me reintroduce myself. Properly, this time."

I just stared at her, feeling my heart still going a million miles a minute.

Saeko carefully pulled out her hairclips, and I almost gasped and she began speaking in a low voice. Her hair fell across one narrow eye, and her long masculine face tilted towards mine.

"My real name is Saito Fujisaki. Nagihiko already knows, but please don't tell anyone else that I'm really a boy, okay?"

* * *

...

YOU DID _**NOT **_SEE THAT COMING, DID YOU? HA HA HA HA HA!!!

And if you did pick up on the hints I dropped in this chapter and guessed correctly, good job! XD

To tell you the truth, I didn't plan on this being Saeko – I mean, Saito's – sinister twist in character. Saeko really did start out being a girl. And I'm so cruel that I made you think, 'Hey, maybe Saeko's not such a bitch after all' before dropping the bombshell. But I'm glad with it. It's going to be soooo good, having someone who was first competition for Rima and is now competition for Nagihiko... talk about family feuds... eh heh heh.

Sorry, I sound like some kind of omniscient sadist, don't I? Please forgive me Nagi, for the pain that's going to be inflicted on you in the next chapter...

**Nagihiko: Apology not accepted, bi**h!**

Waaaaahh!!! Nagi, I don't blame you at all!!!!!

**Nagihiko: Oh no, I should be glad! You made the girl who was born to be my girlfriend cheat on me with my cousin. Love ya too! *sarcasm***

Fine, fine, you've all made your point =(

Anyway, if you go to my profile, you'll see I have a blog now! (it's listed as my homepage). From now on, I'll be posting my Shugo Chara rants at my blog to save space down here. Also, I'll be posting my chapters on my blog as soon as they're finished, and then a few days later on because it's quicker to copy+paste and upload when I need to get off the computer in a hurry. Yeah... *fuu*

(h t t p : / / w w w . t s u k i n o k i m i . w o r d p r e s s . c o m /)

And sorry, I promise some more of the Fat Jesus in the next chapter! And I know it seems like I'm starting to ship some kind of SaitoxRima pairing, but I'm still totally pro-Rimahiko, honest!!

*puppy eyes*

And I promise to make Nagi go MAD with jealousy so that he does something crazy and hormonal as an apology for taking so long to update! *smile*

- Kimi-chan~*

PS: don't ask me any questions about Nagihiko's sexuality or whether or not Nagi's parents knew because I'll iron out questions like these next chapter!

PPS: I forgot to also say this, but I'm really sorry about all the cliffies! It's very unfair of me but they keep you in love with my fanfiction *smile*


	46. His Frighteningly Exaggerated Definition

**WARNING:**** THIS FANFICTION CHAPTER CONTAINS LARGE AMOUNTS OF TSUNDERE. Let's just all admit it: a tsuntsun Rima would be the cutest thing on a computer screen since Konata Izumi.**

**Also, a lot of Saito in this chapter which makes me sad but I'll do my best too try and stuff Rimahiko in there! I know you're thinking, "Whut? She's the writer, she can do w/e she wants!" but, you see, I have to make it natural... now like 'GWAR NAGI LET'S HAVE HAWT SMEXXXX' **

**Even though that would be awesome -_-**

**Blah too lazy to do a flashback, so if you forget what happened then just go back to chapter 45. **

**PS: Let's pretend Nagihiko's mom is deaf to all the yelling...**

"Rima-chan," said Saeko – er, Saito – innocently, blinking. "It can't take this long for it to sink in..."

"Since when did you add on the honorific?" I said stupidly. I shut my eyes to keep the creepy Nagi lookalike out of my line of vision.

"Well, I think I can say we're familiar now after what – "

"OH MY GOD!!!" I screamed, my eyes flying open and my hands instantly balled into fists. "YOU... YOU... YOU... AIIIIGGHGHGHHGHHH!!!" I screamed again, just for good measure. "I'M _DEFLOWERED_! I WON'T BE ABLE TO BE _MARRIED!_"

Saito – I have to get used to writing that name – rolled his eyes to the ceiling. "And Nagi's done that _how _many times... all together now!"

"That was different!" I sputtered. "Because... because..."

"Because you don't like him!" said Saito sarcastically. It's like he has split-personality syndrome! What happened to the bitch we all knew and loved – well, hated? Sigh. He's more like a upped-version of Nagihiko's sarcasm. And playboy attitude.

We glared at each other for a few minutes. My one consolidation (Nagihiko Word) is that at least Saito doesn't have the wide, innocent, why-no-I-didn't-eat-the-last-piece-of-pie look.

Someone coughed quietly at the doorway. "Is this a bad time?" they said awkwardly.

"NAGIHIKO!" I yelled, feeling my features go super-deformed chibi. "HE'S A – AND YOU KNEW THE WHOLE TIME – AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US – AND THEN HE - !!!"

"He what?" said Nagihiko calmly, as if he could read my mind. "Oh, wait..." his eyes widened in the slightest. "Did he really?"

"I DON'T KNOW BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW!" I yelled, not making any sense at all.

Nagihiko's eyes whisked over to his cousin, and Saito gave a tiny nod. In a moment, Nagihiko quickly turned on his heel and walked out.

"What..." I started, and then I ran. "NAGIHIKO! Wait! It wasn't like that!"

"Was it?" said Nagihiko coldly.

"I didn't do _anything!_" I exclaimed. "She – he – just..."

"I didn't see you stopping me," said Saito silkily from behind me. "Personally, I think you'd do better with me than with that pansy..."

"SHUT UP!" I yelled back at him. "HE DOESN'T KNOW!!!"

"Then he must be _blind _as a _mole rat_, couldn't he see that you were all over him...?"

"Don't know what?" said Nagihiko, giving Saito an overdue glare.

"Don't try finding out, it's _futile_," replied Saito hastily.

"Is that a Nagihiko Word?"I asked, but the two second cousins ignored me.

"Honestly, first you say you hate her and then you _hit _on her, it's disgusting," Nagihiko snapped.

"I can't help it, blondes are my weakness," Saito whined.

"I don't care, it was recklessly negligent and irresponsible and I'm not standing for it! Do you have any idea what problems that could have caused if anyone else in the family found out?"

"Found out what?" I asked but they kept ignoring me.

"How could they? Your father's in Osaka and your mom's oblivious." Saito blinked.

"Ugh, you're as impassive and not worrying about consequences as ever," Nagihiko snapped.

"You're as _insulting _as ever! You're such a heart-breaker, Nagi-koi."

_There's _the Saeko we all know and hate.

"Don't call me that! Didn't you just make out with Rima?" Nagihiko growled.

"DON'T SAY IT LIKE THAT!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, but they kept shunning me.

"Ugh, if it weren't for the cash I was making out of this I think I would secede from this family!" Saito said, raising his voice.

"Who's stopping you?"

"I AM," a loud voice suddenly rang out. Toya stood suspended in mid-air, his glittery gold eyes flashing menacingly (Nagihiko Word). "For FUCK'S SAKE, will you just SHUT THE HELL UP?!" he growled. Negi-hiko* or whatever the hell your name is, you clearly are getting overprotective feelings over Rima so why don't you just say it already? And Saitorin ("Don't call me that!" Saito snapped but Toya ignored him), "That was a really stupid thing to do so can you just acknowledge your mistake instead of both of you cracking heads over this? Desu," Toya suddenly added, his voice going back to it's maple-syrup octave.

***A/N: When Nagihiko's name is mispronounced this way, his name means 'green onion prince' Negi = green onion. Hiko = prince, equivalent to 'hime'. **

Toya turned to me and said seriously, "Well, I hope you caught all of that argument, because it's going o explain a _lot_."

The Explanation we've all been waiting for since the end of the last chapter

Saito and Nagihiko were both on the floor, hands folded like the perfect-ass Japanese culture freaks they are, while I was sprawled on the couch. They still weren't talking to each other, and Toya wasn't talking to either of them, so I was trying to fill up the dead silence with babble.

"And so anyway, I was on YouTube the other day and I clicked on this video that said 'Lucky Star Season 2' but it wasn't Lucky Star! It was this weird red-haired dude dancing to this oldies western song and it was so retarded – "

"It means you got rickrolled," interrupted Nagihiko icily. Saito began picking apart the screws on the table.

"What's that?"

"It's what jackasses do for a laugh," said Saito, still with his eyes on the screw that was holding the table leg to the surface.

"What, jackasses like you?" said Nagihiko through gritted teeth. **(A/N: LOLLERCOASTER, Saito makes rickroll'd videos XDD)**

"What's that supposed to – "

"Never mind!" said Toya, turning to Saito furiously. "Which one of you is going to explain this to Mashiro-san?" For some reason, the Chara had become very hostile toward me, and Kanon/my gut told me it was probably for the same reason he hated Nagihiko.

"I will," they both said at the same time.

"Well, too bad, because I'll tell her the unbiased version," said Toya dismissively. He turned to me slowly.

"Saito and Nagihiko's great-grandfather – well, let me put this bluntly." Toya seemed to struggle for a minute.

"He was a filthy rich bastard," Saito interrupted brusquely (Nagihiko Word).

Toya nodded glumly. "Saito's grandfather was the elder son, and so the Fujisaki property and the larger sum of money went to him," he explained. "However, when Nagihiko's grandparents had the elder child, Nagihiko's father, he became the new head of the Fujisaki clan and inherited all the cash. That's the way it goes; the elder child of either family becomes the new head. The second-oldest in either family becomes the second-in-line and so on."

I nodded slowly. Toya made the Fujisakis sound more like a fancy-shmancy royal family of emperors than a bunch of boys who dress up as girls and wave fans.

"So, Nagihiko's immediate family became the heirs..."

"Wait," I stammered. "But Nagi and Saito are the same age."

"Well, strictly speaking, No," said Toya. "Saito is three months younger."

I sighed. "Okay, whatever. Carry on,"

"I told you it was a stupid rule," Saito said, but Nagihiko only jerked his head away so that his long hair whacked Saito in reply. **(A/N: Haha I used to love doing that with my ponytail to my friends when they pissed me off)**

Toya stared at them both distastefully like they were both things he pulled off the sole of his shoe. "Anyway, well, Saito's parents were pretty grumpy that the Fujisaki fortune got snatched from right under their noses. They still wanted the money. And that was when Saito was born."

"I was soooo cute," said Saito sarcastically.

"No, you were fugly," Nagihiko retorted hotly. "I've seen pictures."

"WHATEVER!" Toya yelled. "Saito was a boy."

"Well done, captain obvious." I tossed my tangled mass of blond hair over my shoulder.

Toya ignored me. "Normally, Saito would have been raised as a girl to play female parts in Kabuki theatre. The only people that would know would be the entire Fujisaki family. But, er, Saito's parents are kind of..."

"_Devious_," Nagihiko supplied, adding another Nagihiko Word to my list to look up at home.

" – Yes," Toya agreed. "Instead, they _did _raise Saito as a girl like planned, but they didn't tell Nagihiko or his family about what gender he actually was. So they still think he's actually Saeko."

"Why?" I demanded.

"So that they could arrange a marriage between Nagihiko and Saito to get Saito's family a bit of the money."

"That's creepy as hell!" I yelled.

"Isn't it, though," said Toya vaguely.

"Wait," I said. "So how did Nagihiko find out that Saito was really a boy?"

They all avoided each other's gaze.

"Well?" I asked, oblivious.

"Iwalkedinonhimwhenhewaschanging," said Nagihiko really fast.

"Sorry?" I blinked.

"He walked in on him when he was changing," Toya sniffed. "Clumsy idiot."

"I was not clumsy!" Nagihiko accused. "That house is giant, I thought it was the bathroom!"

"It _was _the bathroom, and I was IN it!" Saito replied nastily.

"And why didn't you lock the door again?" said Nagihiko sweetly. "Wasn't it because you were afraid the monsters were going to break in through the windows while you were on the john?"

"If I locked the door I wouldn't have been able to get out!" Saito yelled.

Nagihiko rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," Toya interrupted again. "Anyway, Nagihiko was forbidden to tell his family."

"You're getting married to a BOY!" I yelled at him, and Nagihiko winced.

"Negi-hiko's so spineless we knew we could count on him not to spill," said Toya offhandedly.

Nagihiko threw Toya a very ugly look. "I couldn't do anything about it."

I stood up abruptly.

"Rima?" they both said at the same time.

"So you're still engaged," I said, glaring.

"Yes," they both replied in unison.

"Will you stop the talking-at-the-same-time thing, it's creeping me out!" I yelled. "Well, stupids, what are you going to do when you don't produce any children?!"

"I think we're touching on a delicate subject here," said Toya tentatively. Nagihiko and Saito both shrugged.

"I'm going home now," I said nastily.

"Jealous much?" said Saito snidely.

I turned on him, shooting daggers. Saito backed up against the wall. "Shit, Nagi, you never told me she was so scary."

"Didn't I?" said Nagihiko idly. "I think Rima's right."

I stopped shooting daggers.

"They're going to find out anyway."

I imagined walking down the aisle with a Nagi free from the wrath of Saito.

"I mean, and she has a point with the whole children thing."

Pretty children with dark hair and big Nagi-eyes...

"You should get a sex change!" Nagihiko concluded.

"THAT'S NOT GOING TO SOLVE ANYTHING!" all three of us yelled at him.

"Or is it only because Saito's scared of the big, nasty needles and surgeon tools?" said Nagihiko nastily. "What I meant was, you don't want to be in this and neither do I," he stood up.

"_Fujisaki Fortune_ mean nothing to you?" said Saito idly.

"Shut up everyone, I feel a Tohru Honda moment coming on!" I yelled and they all fell silent.

"Two cousins who are so painstakingly close shouldn't.... oh, never mind, I lost it," I said sadly. "Anyway..."

"Why don't you just tell him the reason you _really _want our fates separated?" Saito asked quietly.

"No!" I shouted, turning bright red.

"Oh, here we go with Ri-Ri-tan in denial again," said Nagihiko cheerfully. "It's because she's madly in love with me or something, right?"

Saito gave Nagihiko the easily produced Ikuto-perverted-smirk. "Well now, you're not too far off the ma-"

"That's not the reason at all!" I interrupted. "Saito's just being stupid. Besides, I thought _you _liked him?"

"I do," he said firmly, and I flushed. "But then, what was that all about..."

"Honey," Saito said, with the air of someone who's teaching a first-grader to read. "A guy can play for both teams."

**(A/N: Roflcopter Saito sounded totally gay there XDDD)**

"What...?"

"Never mind," said Nagihiko hastily.

**(A/N: That dialogue was one of my faves to write. It was so lmaoplane that **_**I **_**started giggling while I was writing that.)**

"I feel like an ignorant little kid," I complained, and they both cuffed me on the side of the head. "That's 'cause you are," Nagihiko reminded me.

"Oh, shit, I feel the Tohru Honda moment coming back again," I groaned. I started grinning like a freak. "Whee! I'm so happy we're getting along!"

I could practically hear them thinking darkly, _Bipolar Yandere..._

**(A/N: Sorry for all the Authour Notes, but I keep slipping in irritating Japanese slang like this and have to explain in case Darling Reader Dearest doesn't know. **_**Yandere **_**is like a **_**Tsundere **_**except a Yandere is bipolar. They usually act all *normal* and then either go excessively sweet or excessively psycho and TsunTsun. Actually, I have an OC in one of my nonexistent mangas that's pretty Yandere, like she acts all Moë-Moë and then goes pissed and violent if something makes her snap. Do you kinda get it...?) **

Later

In the end, both of them ended up walking me home, flanking either side of me like highly aggressive Fujisaki Grade-A guard dogs.

Now I know what it's like to be Amu. Minus the harem.

"Will you guys just leave me alone?" I grumbled. "I'm perfectly capable of getting myself three blocks home."

"Pedophiles lurk in these woods," said Nagihiko serenely.

"What, do you mean Saito?" I replied.

Nagihiko and I snorted, and Saito just continued kicking Toya. Secretly, Saito was annoying the hell out of me. Would it kill him to let me talk with Nagihiko for five minutes? Clearly yes. I wanted to kick him so that he would never reproduce again, but before I could act on the impulse Nagihiko said, "Isn't this your house, Rima?"

Of course the stupid knows. Didn't he sneak in my BEDROOM WINDOW?

"Hey, Saito," I deadpanned, making sure to exclude the honorific. "I see a cool leaf down there. Why don't you go take a look at it?"

Saito looked at me funny. "_What_?"

"You can't take a hint, can you?" Nagihiko said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, I see. Is that Rimanese for, 'Saito, can you please fuck off and stick your head down a hole?'"

I beamed at him. "Very good."

Saito rolled his eyes while a tiny anger mark jumped on his face. "Come on, Toya, let's go flirt with the lady at the store so that she'll give us cookies."

"... shameless," said Nagihiko darkly.

As soon as Saito left

"Uh..." I started, and Nagihiko laughed awkwardly. Wait, that can't be. Didn't he say he never felt awkward?

"Why aren't you doing anything?" I said quietly.

"About what?" said Nagihiko, playing stupid.

"You didn't seem the least bit angry when he kissed me," I muttered, and Nagi stopped.

**(A/N: Crap, now I'm starting to get into the habit of calling him Nagi)**

I purposely turned away so that he couldn't see me going fire-truck red.

"Why do you care how I reacted?" Nagihiko asked evilly. I couldn't practically feel him grinning like a sick cat.

"It's _your _cousin," I said hotly, whirling around. "It was like I was _deflowered_." I didn't point out that I was recycling words now.

"Would you like me to tell you the real meaning of _deflowered_?" Nagihiko said innocently.

"What, chopping down daisies?" I said nastily.

"No, it means to... how do I put this...?" Nagihiko fought back a smile as he said in a flatly calm voice, "It's when you're raped so brutally so that your body is virtually torn in half and they do so much sickening and disgusting _things _to you that your beautiful pure flower of a mind is forever clouded."

**(A/N: Nagihiko's exaggerating.)**

I felt my legs go weak. "That's... that's... AACK!" I said, tripping in horror. Nagihiko caught me quickly around the waist and set me straight again, like a special-edition Barbie that almost fell of it's shelf. Except, of course, he didn't bother to remove his hand. and my arm was still around his neck from where I had grabbed at him as I fell.

Uggggghhhhh.

I shook my head furiously. "Stop groping me, you pervert."

"Hmmm?" Nagihiko let go and smirked at me. "I wasn't doing anything."

AAAHA;SIEURPQIOWEF;WAEHPFAHWD;VAN;EPOIEWNDF.

"But what were we talking about?" Nagihiko said offhandedly. "Right. Why I didn't get all pissed off and want to bang that dirty bastards' head against the wall until it bled and then cremate him and sweep up his ashes into a..."

"So you DID feel jealous!" I accused.

"Eh? What gave you that idea?"

I decided to drop it. "And what are you going to do about Saito?"

He looked extremely uncomfortable. "I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know??!!!" I started shaking him furiously. "Do you want to be followed by that guy for the rest of your life? No prom date! No bachelor pad! No unbelievably adorable dark-haired children with big innocent brown eyes..."

"I'm sorry," said Nagihiko, not sounding sorry at all and more gleeful. "What was that last one?"

"You want to get rid of each other, right?!" I demanded.

"Er... right."

"So," I said, slowly forming a plan in my head. "All we have to do is somehow make your parents break it off."

"How?"

"Oh..." I gave him my most diabolical look. "Ri-Ri-tan has her ways."

Nagihiko looked at me with mild admiration. "Sometimes I wonder how a satanic (New Nagihiko Word?) mind like yours fails spelling so easily."

"That's not funey," I growled.

He pointed to my diary. "And that's 'funny', if you will."

"SHUT UP!" I yelled.

"Cookies?" Saito asked cheerfully from behind us.

* * *

Sorry for taking too long to update.... I truly love getting reviews from all of you. Now today, we are going to have a reminiscent yarn about Rima Can't Spell's birth instead of my usual shit about how Shugo Chara's crap.

From the moment I saw the episode where Rima gets jealous of Nagi, I thought, "Oh my god. They would make the smexiest couple." (And I was right, wasn't I...?) Writing a fanfiction about it had occurred to me, but I brushed the thought away. Well, sadly, brushing away the thought didn't quite work. The idea kept bugging me, until I kept subconsciously planning out chapters. Ugh. Finally, one day, I was writing my other fanfiction to get ready to update, and I suddenly thought, _What if Rima kept a diary? What if she was an adorable clumsy idiot? _

At that moment, I couldn't stand it anymore. Abandoning my old fanfiction and gulping down green tea furiously for caffeine, I clicked the 'New Blank Document' like some kind of crazy psycho and began typing like I was on crack.

_Monday, May 3rd_

_I sat down at the guardian's table, only to be greeted by Yaya not shutting up._

"_COOKIIIIESS!!! COOKIEESS!!!" she yelled at the top of her lungs._

"_Ha, ha, ha!" laughed Tadase in his girl-voice._

Heh, I thought. I like Rima.

I finished the chapter and posted it under the first thing I could think of – my OC Rima's main defining characteristic. Rima Can't Spell. Rima & Nagihiko/Nadeshiko. Rated T.

I then totally forgot about it.

Until suddenly an email popped up. FF Review Alert. _Whut_? I thought dumbly, clicking on it. _I haven't posted the latest chapter on Maniac Diaries yet._

(MD = Furuba fic I was writing at the time I started RCS)

Nope. Within, what, half an hour I had gotten my first review. Now that I think about it, It was from Amuto-fan-Neko-san. HEY THKS NEKO-CHAN!! *waves like an idiot*

Anyway, also, I shall be going on vacation soon. To northern BC, the land where it's so effing hot in the summer that cactuses actually grow there. No, seriously. It's a ranch with chickens and ponies (that's it...) and a lake so I'll come back probably sunburned, chicken-scratched and void of blood from the leeches.

W00t.

Now I will share some Shugo Chara! trivia.

- An alternate way to write Ikuto's name is Yukuto.

- Tsukiyomi Ikuto's last name does mean 'moon phase' or 'the underworld's moon'. His first name can mean 'one who goes', but in Japanese slang his name would mean 'person who has an orgasm'. HAAA. Sorry, but isn't that so fitting? XDD

- Fujisaki Nagihiko's last name means 'the summit of Mount Fuji'. His first name means "tree prince" (Nagi is a type of tree native to southern China and Japan, or can be named after the place in Okayama).

- 'Yamato Nadeshiko' was the old-fashioned Japanese concept of the 'perfect girl'. Virtues include: loyalty, domestic ability, wisdom, and humility. Ringing any bells yet? Think it's coincidence that one of Nagihiko/_Nadeshiko_'s Charanari's is _Yamato _Maihime? Clever Peach-Pit.

- Ran, Miki, and Su are all named after Japanese idols.

- 'Hinamori' means 'forest of sunflowers'.

- Kukai means 'sky's ocean'

- Rhythm (The smoker-voiced playboy) is seiyu'd by Koki Miyata. Miyata played Winner Sinclair in _Karin_, whereas Sayuri Yahagi, Rima's seiyuu, played Karin in the same anime. He was also Yukito in the Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles.

- In the Shugo Chara video game, it is possible for Amu to get a 5th Chara. It's purple and has crosses on it.

- Yoru is voiced by a girl.

- Yuuichi Nakamura – that's right, the smexy deep-voiced seiyuu of Ikuto – voiced Greed in _Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood_. *shudder*

Is you smarter nowz? Yaaay!!! *is high on tea*

Oh, and birthday countdown: TWO DAYS! Ma B-day's on the 24th. I'm really excited because I'm getting a graphic tablet for my birthday this yr. so I can draw stuff and FINALLY upload GOOD pics onto my DeviantArt account... w00t!

In closing, HAS ANYONE ELSE SEEN THE NEW HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF-BLOOD PRINCE MOVIE? Oh come on, don't tell me you just watch anime movies... (jkjk)

- Kimi-chan~*

PS: You must wonder why I put the tilde (~) and the asterisk (*) after my name. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A FIREWORK! JEEZ! *sniff*

~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~~ BOOOMMM


	47. His DoublePersonality Syndrome

**AN: okay… okay… please wait a minute for my explanation. In other words**

**DON'T KILL ME, OKAY? NO KILL! DON'T RUN ME OVER LIKE MANIAC FANGIRLS!!!**

**I totally and completely know that I haven't updated! Totally! Mk mk mk. My lack of word for about all of August is pretty much due to a combination of factors, namely…**

**1. I am a lazy jackass. **

**2. I was too busy MSNing my friend, who is an otaku just like me that has spent his entire summer trying to make me watch Gundam. **

**3. I was watching Code Geass. I know what you're thinking – "Our beloved Tsuki-sama, patron goddess of Rimahiko (yeah, I bet you're thinking this inside…), a mecha fan? What next… Transformers?" (I have not seen the movie. It looked like a dorkus action thriller. Everyone told me it was good…). Well HAVE YOU SEEN HOW AWESOME THOSE ROBOTS ARE? THEY'RE LIKE GIANT AND BOOM WITH LOTS OF BOMBS AND KILLERASS WEAPONS!!!!!! But in all frankness, yeah. To be honest with you, it was all because of Lelouch vi Britannia. *drool*. Sorry. He is waaaay smexier than Ikuto. Yeah, Iku's all hot and plays the violin but Lelouch – HELLO?! – has über-powers and has like a gazillion people all ready to fight for him. And he can drive a mecha. Plus, naturally, he's hot in that skinny-looking Fruits Basket way. (Am I making any sense…?) **

**4. If you are from BC, which I doubt because I read my story traffic and about roughly half to two-thirds of my audience is American, you will have heard of the Gulf Islands. I don't think they're even in a Gulf of any kind, to be honest. But anyway, they're a happy circle of islands where I have been vacationing for the past week with one of my best friend. LOL. If you're wondering what my friend is like, she's my polar opposite. My loves are the internet, anime, and Twilight-bashing. Her interests are fashion, American television and Twilight. ROFLMAO. And while we were there she somehow managed to coerce me into becoming a die-hard Gossip Girl fan (ChuckxBlair FTW) and into writing a JacobxAlice fanfiction with her when I'm finished this one. Her persuasion skills are demonic, I swear. And for anyone who watches Gossip Girl, isn't Chuck almost like a better-dressing short-haired Ikuto?! (They're both pervs... = =)**

**Also, thanks for all the birthday wishes~ I am proud to say that I am officially 14. Only five more years until I can drink margaritas. Cheers! **

**And now, without further ado, the lovely chapter.**

**P.S.: Sorry for the Host Club reference (you'll know what I mean...) **

"Saito, drop the spider!" I snapped. He was tearing its legs off.

"Sadist," Nagihiko muttered. _Sae_-dist.

"Down to business," I hissed, slapping my school notebook on the table. "We are gathered in this hall today to..."

"It's a broom closet," said Saito.

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, chibi-ifying. "As I was saying, we are gathered in this broom closet today to figure out how to get Nagi's mom, AKA Ms. Military General to break off the engagement between you two before you have to get hitched and Saito has to wear a frilly dress or something."

"You woke me up for that?" said Saito, yawning. We had caught him on the window seat at school that day at lunch, sleeping while a bunch of guys gaped in awe. Kinda eerie thinking about it, as he was probably into half of them and wearing at skirt while he was at it. I wonder if Nagihiko ever hit on a girl when he was parading around as one...? I thought idly.

**(A/N: Yes, Ri-Ri-tan, he did XD)**

"Why do you even care? Nagi-koi isn't over me yet, I bet," Saito whined, scratching under his shirt in an utterly masculine manner that contradicted the fact that he was dressed as Saeko today. Actually, when the ex-guardians found out they kind of gawked at the whole skirt-thing quite a bit. You'd think they would have gotten use to the boy-wearing-a-skirt thing after the whole Nadeshiko fiasco.

_FLASHBACK: _

"_Hey, guess what!" I shouted at the top of my lungs as soon as I walked in. "Saeko's a dude!!!" _

"_Go on," said Yaya. "I haven't heard that one." _

"_Really, he is!" I insisted. I turned to Saito, who was behind me. "Aren't you?" _

"_Well, it's not like I can pretend anymore since you just screamed it to the whole tristate area." Saito said idly. _

"_It would make sense," said Tada-gay unexpectedly. "Wasn't Fujisaki-san pretending to be a boy?" _

"_EEEEEEHHHHHHH????!!!!" Amu screamed at the top of her lungs, frightening away several small birds. _

_END FLASHBACK._

"Yes," I hissed at Saito. "I don't care if you still like Nagi – gag – koi, I don't like it and I'm not losing to you!"

"I can hear everything you're saying, Ri-Ri-tan," said Nagihiko, grinning. "Nobody said this was a competition."

"I did," I said, kicking him. "Stupid. Stupid. Stupid."

"You should give up on him, he's – " I kicked Saito instead. "I'm not giving up, because I never liked him in the first place!"

"Oh yeah? You're always hanging around him! He must find it annoying as hell!"

"I don't – " I made a noise of disgust in my throat " – _hang around him._"

"And it's cute, not annoying," Nagihiko said unhelpfully.

"OH, REALLY?!"

Nagihiko aimed a slap at him.

Five Minutes Later

When they finally stopped trying to beat each other up I proceeded with my Master Plan.

"Here's what we're gonna do," I told them all. "Saito has to be the most repulsive idiot on the face of the earth."

Silence.

"That shouldn't be hard," said Nagihiko. "But why?"

"Hmmm." I pretended to think about it hard, like some kind of Nagihiko-genius. "Well, your mom still doesn't know that's _Saeko-chan_'s a guy. And she might break off the engagement if _Saeko-chan_ acts like a bitch. You get it...?"

Silence.

"Sounds like fun," Saito said airily.

"What, you find acting like an ungrateful dirty-mouthed idiot fun?" Nagihiko asked testily.

"I've got good practice at it."

"WAIT," I said mysteriously. "And, to make it even better, Nagi should act like a sissy."

"I- I- I should what?" Nagihiko sputtered.

"Sorta like a long-haired Tada-gay," I said thoughtfully.

"Heh," said Saito unexpectedly.

We all stared.

"Tada-gay," Saito giggled.

We all eyerolled on cue.

"Your brains are fused together or something," he complained.

Five Minutes Later (FML. Hee hee)

We heard a lot of knocking.

"Guys? Rima? Nagi? Other guy?" Amu yelled. "Um… fifth period is about to start."

"Huh?" I said, cleverly disguising my voice so that I sounded like a hamster on crack. "We don't know who Rima, Nagi, or Other Guy is."

"Don't be dumb," said cool-and-spicy Amu. "I can hear you in there, plotting something."

"Plotting? We plot nothing!" I yell-squeaked back.

"Don't yell, Rima, sound travels quite badly in a broom closet," Nagihiko whined.

"H-hey, so Rima and you ARE in the closet!" Amu accused. "What the hell are you doing in there, having a threesome?!"

"HAAAAHHH??! I have no idea what you are talking abou –"

And that's just about when Amu yanked open the door so that we all came falling out like dominoes. If dominoes often fall on each other so that they land in very inappropriate positions.

"Why can't I get up?" I mumbled, trying to get rid of the stars in front of my eyes.

I heard Saito and Amu cackle evilly together like some satanic lab rats.

When I could finally see again, I was on the floor with Nagihiko right on top of me, looking equally surprised but in a more What-A-Surprise-I-Won-The-Lottery kind of way.

"WILL YOU GET OFF ME?!" I yelled, squirming before realizing that he had grabbed my wrists.

"Oh… oops…" Nagihiko stared thoughtfully off into the distance.

"GET OFF!!!" I yelled.

"In a minute. I'm thinking."

"CAN YOU PLEASE JUST GET THE HELL OFF ME BEFORE SOMEONE SEES AND ASSUMES SOMETHING REALLY NASTY? JUST STOP PROLONGING THIS!!"

"I didn't realize a humanoid being could go that red…" said Nagihiko, grinning, but he rolled off me anyway. I immediately stood up and started kicking him.

"Ow!" Nagihiko shouted, backing away quickly. "If I had realized you'd get that pissed off about it, I'd…"

"SHUT UP YOU HORRIBLE LITTLE BOY OOOHH HOW DARE YOU DEFLOWER SUCH AN INNOCENT PERSON??!!!" Ms. Psycho suddenly shouted, springing up triumphantly from behind a trash can.

"MRS. PSYCHO?!" we all gasped dramatically.

"That is right! I am back," Mrs. Psycho said smugly.

"But how..." Amu began, but Mrs. Psycho cut her off. "I caught YOU TWO in the act!" she said triumphantly, pointing at me and Nagihiko. "You are SLEEPING WITH EACH OTHER AREN'T YOU OOOH HOW DARE YOU TRY TO DO IT RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HALLWAY??!!!!"

"What?!" I shrieked. "Do I LOOK like a hore to you?!"

Nagihiko shot me a furtive glance. "Why yes, I'd have to say you look like a W-H-O-R-E," he said, pointing at my diary.

"That's a lie!"

"NO IT IS NOT YOU ARE A WHORE AND WHY WOULD THE LOONY LONG HAIRED BOY LIE HMMMMM???!!!" Mrs. Psycho demanded. "Please GET A ROOOMMM!!!"

Amu and Saito continued to cackle maniacally, and I stomped off.

After School

"Time to put the plan into action," I said, still fuming from this morning.

"Right." said Saito dully. " 'Teh' plan."

"Which is totally gonna work," said Nagihiko, even less convincing.

"You don't have faith in me?!" I accused.

"I'm sure Nagihiko will have lots of things in you soon, but faith is _not _one of them," said Saito mildly.

"You're disgusting," said Nagihiko darkly.

"Do you deny that as soon as Rima gets boobs you'll..."

"What?" I said blankly.

Nagihiko clapped his hands over my ears. "DON'T LISTEN TO HIM!! HE'LL EAR-RAPE YOU!!!"

"What? I can't hear you."

**(A/N: I'm sorry for all the under-thirteens here, that whole conversation was reeking of innuendo XD.)**

Nagihiko's house (IT'S NOT SAITO'S HOUSE).

I waited outside, listening with satisfaction.

SLAM.

STOMP STOMP STOMP.

"HANAKO-TAN, ARE MY PANCAKES READY?!"

Saito really can act like a biotch.

Later

Nagihiko went in separately, and I heard a bang. Nagihiko yelled sharply, "OW!! BASTARD!!!" but quickly remembered acting like Tada-gay and immediately dissolved into tears. "SAIT – SAEKO-CHAAAAANNN, WHY?? WHY???"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A MILKSOP (Nagihiko Word?)," Saito yelled back, using yanki*-slang.

**(*A/N: Yanki = Japanese gangster. Notorious anime yankis are Haine Otomiya (ex-yanki), Arisa Uotani (to an extent), and that chick from Kamikaze Girls whose name escapes me). **

"I AM NOT A MILKSOP YOU SADISTIC PANSY," Nagihiko yelled back through fake-sobs, and then cleared his throat. "I mean – WAAAAAHHH!!!"

Weakling!

I wanted to yell at him that if he ever wanted to make it big in theatre he'd have to stop it with the split-personality disorder but I guess someone hot-blooded like Nagihiko really can't take insults like that with a Tada-gay like attitude.

Mmmmmm.

Hot-blooded.

God, I really have to keep these scary fantasies squashed down until I graduate college.

Wonder what's taking Nagi and Saito so long?

6:44 pm

The next thing I knew, Nagihiko was shaking me. "You fell asleep?!"

"No!" I muttered darkly. "Yam fries! Ham and cheese sandwich! Why is you running away from me??!..."

"Will you stop dreaming about food and wake up?!" said Nagihiko, pulling me to my feet grumpily. I stumbled tiredly and leaned on him. Putting his arm around my waist he said unhappily, "It didn't work. Mom just thinks Saito has PMS or something."

"PMS..." I repeated sleepily. "PMS... PMT... PLT... BLT... mmmm, BLT."

Saito huffed noisily behind Nagihiko. After a glare from the Evil Mad Genius, he pulled out his wallet and started counting his money.

Some random restaurant

"Can you listen now?" Nagihiko frowned, watching me inhale some French fries. Him and Saito sat across from me in a booth of some diner, Saito muttering blackly the whole time about his hard-earned money.

"I like fries."

"Rima, you're plan didn't work. We've got to think up something else."

"Can I have dessert now?"

"Rima..."

I pulled my eyebrows together and screwed up my face.

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Saito said grumpily, and started fishing around in his pockets.

Some random evil ice cream vendor on the street.

"Great, that little kid has sucked me dry," Saito mourned for his starving wallet.

**(There. Some minor revenge for the Saeko-bashers. Karma, Sai-Sai-kun...)**

Some random park bench

"There. No more food," Nagihiko said in the kind of voice a father would if his daughter tried to dance out of the house at midnight to go to a party on a school night. "Rima. We have to think up another plan."

"Since when did you drop the honorific?" Saito said snidely.

"Since she became the most important girl in my life. So..."

I almost fell off the bench but steadied myself. Most important girl in his life...?

"... So we need to think up something else," Nagihiko went on, as if nothing had happened. Saito looked a bit miffed but straightened himself up. "Yeah. Well now, how would you break off an engagement? People did it a lot in the Olden Days." He said 'Olden Days' like it was when dinosaurs roamed the earth.

I suddenly remembered something. "I know!" I said triumphantly. "The Trojan War."

They stared at me.

"The Trojan War," I said importantly, "was started by Helen, the queen of Sparta, running off with Paris who was a prince of Troy. Helen was _married_, which is even worse than being engaged and she disappeared anyway."

"So..." Saito wound his hand in a circle as if to say, _get on with it_.

"So, Nagihiko should elope with m-somebody!" I finished.

There was silence.

"Uh." Saito said dully. "Nagihiko?"

"It's..." his eyes gleamed maniacally. "IT'S SO CRAZY IT JUST MIGHT WORK!"

"I don't believe this!" Saito protested.

"Wait," Nagihiko said, calming down. "Maybe we shouldn't make it _that _crazy. Like, I'll just say that I'm eloping with somebody and that Saeko's crap?"

"We're all idiots," I giggled, still a little giddy. "But it might work."

"Hang on," Saito voiced a problem. "Who are we going to say if they ask who?"

Suddenly, I saw everyone looking at me.

Later, Nagihiko's house

"MOM!" Nagihiko yelled really loudly.

"Hm?" Nagihiko's mom hummed.

"I'M ELOPING!" he yelled really loudly, so that he frightened birds away on the tree outside. "I'M GOING AWAY AND NEVER COMING BACK!!!"

"With who" said Nagihiko's mom, not even putting any inflection indicating a question.

"Ri – "

" – ma?" Nagihiko's mom finished, and Saito and I (who were staked out back watching everything) exchanged a surprised look. Saito's expression quickly melted into something that looked evil.

"Don't you give me that look," I said darkly.

"I knew it," Nagihiko's mom said evilly. "I knew there was something going on between you two... you were always exchanging lovey-dovey looks..." ("We were WHAT?!" I exclaimed) "... well, I guess I have no choice." We heard her raise her voice. "MINAKO... CAN YOU PLEASE FETCH THAT KNIFE HIDDEN UNDER THE FLOORBOARDS? THE REALLY BIG ONE. WITH THE RIDGES IN IT."

"... ... ..._I lied!!!" _we heard Nagihiko squeak in horror.

There goes that plan.

Later

"Well, what did you expect me to do?" Nagihiko said grumpily. "She was going to kill you! she used that knife to kill our housekeeper when she got too old to carry tea-trays!"

"Oh, yeah," said Saito thoughtfully. "We found the body one day when we were playing in the sandbox, remember?"

"Vividly," Nagihiko shuddered. "Anyway... I think it's time we asked someone else."

"Agreed," we all agreed.

"Hi, I'm Captain Obvious!" Captain Obvious shouted.

**(By now you're thinking, "Oh crap, Kiki-chan has RSD, Random Shit Disorder! I'm actually kinda harnessing the power of logical irony here, and I don't think I'm succeeding...)**

"To the nearest pay phone!" I cried, lifting my arm into the air. "We must call the Peanuts Gang!!"

"Don't you mean the guardians?" Saito asked, and me and Nagihiko snickered. "Duh."

"But then why – "

"WHO'S GOT QUARTERS?!"

Half an hour later

It was getting late, and twilight was falling. I had to step over Bella, Jacob, Carlisle and Jane before I could finally make it to Saito and Nagi, who had uncovered a phone booth. "Okay, dial Amu first!" I commanded. Nagihiko dialed, and then paused. "It says to insert twenty-five cents."

We all looked at Saito.

"Uh..." Saito laughed nervously. "I'm broke, remember?"

Later

We were all searching in the gutters for spare change.

"This sucks," Saito groaned. "I feel like the Little Match Girl." He took off his shoe to get a stone out of it when somebody dropped some coins into it.

"Oh, great – HEY BOZO! I'M NOT A HOMELESS PERSON!!" He shook the money out of his shoe. "Stupid idiot, what can I buy with a quarter?"

Back at the phone booth

We dialed Amu's number. It rang for a zillion years before she finally picked up.

"Hinamori Amu," I said in a mysterious voice. "Call the others and meet in the park. Stat. Roger."

"Who is this?!" Amu demanded.

_Click. _

Park, half an hour later

"What took you so long?!" I demanded, when Amu finally showed up with Tada-gay and Kukai. The street lamps were lit. "And why isn't Yaya with you?"

"I had to trace who had called me because you didn't say if it was _you_," Amu complained.

"And Yaya's asleep," Kukai snorted. "But what did you need us for?"

"We need to brainstorm!" I said importantly, and so all the ex-guardians got together and were trying to make a fire out of trash and a cigarette lighter when we heard the sound of heels on sidewalk – _clack, clack, clack_ – and who to show up was Utau.

"I heard everything," Utau said. "And I have a proposition. Kukai, shove an ass."

Kukai looked at her funnily and moved over. Utau sat down between him and Amu. "If I help you... will you help me make a plan as well?" Utau looked extremely upset, which was probably why Kukai did what he did and put an arm around her shoulders.

She looked up at all of us, looking grim and dramatic to give the situation a serious aura. "We can't mess around anymore. Ikuto's dying. We need to save him!"

* * *

DUN DUN DUN!!! Don't' worry, Saito'll be gone next chappie~

Hey, did anyone notice that I took the periods out of my pen name?! I removed them 'cause they looked a little dorky. Now my name is KOOL and SOFISTIKATD (cool and sophisticated). L O L.

Okay, so this is the part where I'm gonna go on a little fangirl spasm and quote a million sites.

So you know that memorable day you Google your name and see how much you're all on the internet? Well, I kinda got curious the day I got back from vacation and decided to Google the words "Rima Can't Spell." Just to see if anyone talked about it when I wasn't looking… (Yes. Lol. I am so vain).

I got directed to a blog called Simplicity.

This is what I got in the comments section:

_By Mimi, 08/06/2009 1:05 p.m._

_WAIT!!!!!!!!! Ok, go back to watch the episode. Go to about 8:47. HOLY CRAP. LOOK AT OUR LITTLE GROUP OF THREE ON THE STAIRS. Nagi is totally acting like a pimp! Rima is effing close to him. I thought they were in a Ha-Ha-We-Are-In-A-Love-Hate-Relationship. (Lol. That's from Rima Can't Spell. Read it! Luv you Kimi-Chan~) Ooo, I bet I am the only one who caught it too!_

WOOOWWW. So true about the pimp thing but OMG PEOPLE OUTSIDE ACTUALLY TALK ABOUT ME!!! That got me so excited I think I actually did a little hop in my computer chair. I feel so special… I really have to make more Shugo Chara fics so I can get more serious love like this. 3

Luv ya too Mimi-chii. Heh.

Then the higher-up result I had overlooked directed me to a Rimahiko group on YouTube I'm positive I'm a member of. Well I'm pretty sure, I saw Ivy-chan on the list of postings. Anyway, I saw a post by somebody called SasukeSakura:

_Does anyone know any good Rimahiko fanfiction i can read? Its kinda like killing me when i have to wait for new chapters of Rima Can't Spell. (also by the way,im writing one its called 'Pink and Cuddly' its on the same site) But anyway, if anyoe knows any please reccomend it!_

GWAAARRR???!!! I don't take THAT long to update, right??? Right??? Okay, well I've just been MIA for a month so maybe I shouldn't be asking that.

Next I saw something on Crunchyroll (Hate you Anime Membership) about it, but only on the Google preview. It didn't show up if I clicked on it… :(

"_Read "____Rima Can't Spell__" It's SOOOOOOOO good!" _

HEE HEE!!! Gosh that was nice. Makes me sad to end this fic. No more love. (love = reviews and internet fame. LOL)

Then it was all stuff from Fanfiction dot net. Namely, BiitoRizumoKeiko's fanfiction about Facebook. Which is why I ended up reading her story (It is lollercoaster, Keiko-chan!). I think I was in a rather ADD mood. And then at the end of chapter two....

_Now you're thinking about this story: Doesn't this story sound similar to Rima Can't spell by .Kimi?_

_I'll say so, but it's my love for her story that made me want to write this._

_Hah... so Arigato .Kimi!!_

NOOOOO KEIKO-CHAN YOU FORGOT TO PUT DASHES INSTEAD OF PERIODS!!! OTHERWISE BLOCKS MY NAME OUT!!!

*hic*

But you're welcome. Pffft. Funny Facebook. UPDATO SUNU, DESU!!

Then, I got directed to MimiEdwardsIsBored's channel on YouTube. She's NINETEEN. And READS MY STORY. The comments section said the following:

_InoStarr __(1 week ago) _

_OHMYGOD, RIMA CAN'T SPELL. OHMYFRIGGINGOD._

_ARE YOU THE CREATOR?!_

_xDD Haha. SmileyzzProductionz owner here. :]_

DAMMIT!!! NOO!!! I'M THE CREATOR!!!!.... heh.

_MimiEdwardsIsBored__(3 weeks ago)_

_Tada-gay is GAY and Nagihiko is my cousin! That wouldn't work out! I am not like Saito! (Teehee. Rima can't spell reference. I love you, Kimi-chi~) So, NEITHER of us gets Ikuto because he belongs to_﻿ _Amu-Chi.~ _

GWAR. SO MUCH LOVE. Amuto and RCS LoveLoveLove. Hee hee. And I love you too, second Mimi-chii. Wait... are you the same person? o.O

So anyway readers, this excellent chapter I am quite pleased with goes out to you!! *throws handkerchief like a gay lady*. Famous people are nothing without their fans. YAY FOR FANS. YOU ARE ALL FABULOUSO!!! Even those people I don't even know exist because they don't review/PM/or whatever (which is actually okay... I mean, I could just be an extremely Shugo-Chara-obsessed pedobear and in that case you'd be saving your own life).

Now that I've made this thingy even longer than it should be, I might as well bring some stuff up.

1) Yuto Shizunabe officially doesn't exist. He was a shit character I made up because I was bored. he has no reference to the plot. He is hereafter wiped off the face of the earth.

2) Any references to the episodes that were supposedly still happening at the time of the story are now inactive. This is because often when new episodes come out they contradict what I wrote.

3) okay, now I'm really worried about what I'll do once my little baby is over (... sigh... I am too attached to my stories.) If there's anything you'd like to see me write in the future, suggestions are now welcome. I have gotten a request or two about actually doing a lemon = =0, but anything else T-rated...? (Me = often tries to keep perverted thoughts to herself but epically fails most of the time).

4) Five more chapters. We are now on the countdown. You know how you have those dreams about realistic bad stuff that could happen and it just FEELS real? Well, I dreamt I finished this fanfiction last night, and woke up all teary (Yeah, now I sound like a wuss...). it was v. sad. One request: if possible, don't think about the ending. Don't speculate how I'm gonna end it. you'll need all your brain on following the last couple chapters. I'm pretty sure it'll be confusing if you keep focusing on how the hell Tsuki-no-kimi's going to wind up a mess like this.

Anyway, until next time, hearts!

- Kimi-chan~*


	48. His Emo Boy Personality

**(A/N: This chapter's dedicated to Ivy34325, the biggest Rimahiko fan I know and Queen of Photoshop/Sony Vegas editing~ YAY IVY-TAN!!!**

**Also, if you're wondering why I know so much about breaking into buildings... well, I forgot my house key a lot this year^ ^;)**

"_If I help you... will you help me make a plan as well?" Utau looked extremely upset, which was probably why Kukai did what he did and put an arm around her shoulders. _

_She looked up at all of us, looking grim and dramatic to give the situation a serious aura. "We can't mess around anymore. Ikuto's dying. We need to save him!"_

Amu got up so abruptly she knocked Tadase over. "IKUTO'S DYING??!!"

**(A/N: If only she would react that way in the anime...)**

Utau glared at Amu, as if this was all her fault. Amu was starting to look a little crazy. "You're the one who forgot all about him! Have you seen what they're DOING to him? Drawing blood from him fifteen gazillion times a day, it's no wonder he's passed out for most part!!"

Nagi was the second one to stand up, looking frighteningly calm. "Why?"

"Running tests on him," Utau grumbled. "they want to see if DNA makeup has any affect on Charas. Which, of course, proves how stupid adults are. They think that in finding out more about charas, they'll find out more about the embryo."

"That's stupid," I said, playing Captain Obvious.

"No Shit, Sherlock," said Nagihiko icily.

Saito stared at us all blankly. "Who's Ick-toe?"

The next day – LAST DAY OF SCHOOL!!!!

We quickly explained Utau's proposal and Ikuto dying to Yaya. She was silent for a long time, until she finally said, "So did she tell you how to divorce Nagi and Saito?"

"What? No, she.... SHIT!!!"

Yaya tossed her pigtails. "As for rescuing Ikuto, leave it all to Yaya!!"

"Yaya's making up our plan?" I whispered to Nagihiko. "We're doomed."

Nagihiko grinned, and Kukai and Yaya turned creepy gazes on us. "What's this? What's this? Whispering sweet nothings into his ear, Rima-tan?"

"SHUT UP!!!" I yelled.

Nagi gave them a creepy grin back. "Well then, I wouldn't exactly call it sweet... it was rather provocative though – "

"AND YOU WERE WORRIED ABOUT _SAITO _EAR-RAPING ME!!!" I screamed, stomping on his foot.

"Were you wearing soccer cleats... just for that?!" Nagihiko choked, holding his foot.

Amu uncertainly flipped open her cell phone and dialed Utau's number while we bickered.

After School (I suggested skipping class to meet Utau but Nagi all convinced them to stay in school. Meh.)

"What is it?" said Utau crossly, assembling outside the ramen shop (don't ask).

"You forgot to tell us how to make our plan work," I reminded her.

"Oh, so you remembered?" Utau said mildly. "Here. it's easy. Long-haired boy will have to do it, though."

"I have a name," Nagihiko muttered darkly, but we all ignored him.

"Just go up to your mom and cry. Hard. Other long-haired boy should go, too. Both cry like Niagara Falls and say through your tears that you don't want your fate sealed in stone and that if your mom had any heart she'd break off the engagement."

"What if that doesn't work?" asked Nagihiko.

"Bribe her with an autographed picture of ME," said Utau, smiling evilly.

" – and what if that doesn't work." Saito jumped in.

"Easy." Utau pointed at Saito. "Just pull your pants down. That should convince her."

Utau's mind is... diabolical.

7:00 pm

I'm going to skip the long, long time that it took for Saito and Nagihiko to cry. And the long, long time it took convincing Ms. Fujisaki that Hoshina Utau really is a famous idol and that the picture would be worth something on eBay. And the long, long time it took for Ms. Fujisaki to come out of her stupor after Saito reluctantly pulled his pants down.

I was glad that me, Amu, and Yaya were all at the ramen shop, watching Kukai and Utau get fat.

Those people must make a lot of money thanks to Utau.

The next day – summer is here!

Train station

"I guess this is goodbye," said Saito dramatically, gazing out into the sky like a mournful soap-opera actor. "We shall meet again... the fates foretell it."

"I hope not," me and Nagihiko said nastily at the same time, waving handkerchiefs. "BYE!!!!"

"I'm not done yet!!" said Saito crossly, readjusting his giant fluffy parka and hat. His bag had a bright orangey-red fox on it. Was it really that cold in Hokkaido? "Now, I had a dream last night that said – "

"JUST GET ON THE TRAIN!!" me and Nagihiko yelled, shoving him up the steps.

"All aboard!" the train conductor yelled.

"Oh, and Nagi-koi..." Saito turned to Nagihiko and gave him a _look._ "I lose, you stupid playboy. I hope you're happy."

"Very funny."

"Oh, and Nagi? Rima will kill me for saying this but she actually – "

"SHUT UP!" I yelled, throwing my handkerchief at him. Saito caught it. "Fine. You tell him."

I gave him a very ugly look. Saito climbed all the way up to the train and stuck his head out the window. The train started to move, and as it did, Saito started waving my handkerchief. "HOTORI-KUUUNN!!! WAIT FOR ME!!! SOMEDAY, WE WILL ELOPE TO HOLLAND WHERE GAY MARRIAGE IS LEGAL!!!"

**(A/N: Holland sentence (c)xXxLostButterflyxXx)**

Tadase looked at the train blankly and we all glared at him accusingly.

One hour later

Utau, me, Amu, Kukai, Yaya, and Nagihiko (Tadase, we all agreed, was a wimp and would be no use) all showed up wearing black. Utau was in thigh-high platform black boots, Amu was wearing gazillions of crosses, Yaya was wearing a black Lolita dress, and Nagihiko was wearing a creeptastic long coat that made him look like a vampire.

Yaya looked at us all grimly. "No time to tell you my plan. Let's roll."

"Stop trying to sound like James Bond. It's not working." I said snidely.

Yaya slapped me and skipped off. "FOLLOW YAYA, EVERYONE! THE EASTERY OFFICE BUILDING IS ONLY A SHORT WAYS AWAY!!"

Easter Building

Yaya inspected the tall shiny building. "Okay. Yaya needs rope."

"YOU DIDN'T BRING ROPE?!" we all yelled at her.

"Nope." Yaya said briskly. Her eyes suddenly lit up. "Hey, Yaya's got a plan!"

Didn't she already HAVE a plan?

"Remember how Nagi and Rima ended up crying their way into free tickets when we were in Hamburger-land? And crying their way out of the final?" Yaya pointed to the security guards at the front gate. "You should cry your way into the Easter building! It'll be easy!" Yaya thought hard. "In all the spy movies they always act in pairs. So Nagi and Rima-tan can be one team."

"I don't want to be on a team with the cross-dresser!" I lied but everyone ignored me. Yaya thought some more. "Then... Utau and Amu can be another team, since you're both so in love with Ikuto" ("HEY!" said Amu but no one noticed.) "It'll be up to you two to rescue him. Then me and Kukai can be a distraction for anybody who might be guarding Iku-chan."

"Okay," I said glumly, walking over to Nagihiko. He patted me in sympathy so that no one could see. "So me and Nagi do our little song-and-dance act" (Amu snorted) "and get inside Easter. How will everyone else get in?"

Utau suddenly raised a finger. "I think I catch Yuiki's drift. You two go up to the..." Utau mouthed numbers as she counted up the rows of windows, then glanced at the mountains. "you go up to the third floor, east wing. Then Yaya's gonna throw a rope up there and we'll climb in through the window."

Yaya nodded furiously.

"A-ano, Yaya... that works in spy movies, but I don't think it'll work in real life." Amu said.

Utau and Yaya turned on her. "Why not?"

I think Amu was at a loss for words.

Utau nodded again. "But we'll need to tie a rock to the end of the rope and throw that end up. The rock needs to be deadweight for height and to break the window."

"But where are we gonna find rope?"

Utau thought some more. "we'll all split up and see if we can find some. Meet back in five."

Five Minutes Later

Amu held up a piece of string. Yaya suggested climbing a tree. I get a fistful of vines. "I could just use Tightrope Dancer if..." I kind of trailed off and Nagihiko randomly hugged me for God Knows Why.

Utau shook her head, and Nagihiko grinned winningly and held up a garden hose.

"Where the hell did you get that?" Utau asked, impressed.

"The side of a house."

"And they just let you?"

"Well – "

" – he stole it." I translated flatly.

Nagi shrugged. "Garden hoses are cheap."

Utau looked at it. "Okay, well, we need two more of those for it to be long enough."

Plan is put into action

I ran up to the security guard and tried giving him the puppy eyes. "U-um, excuse me, but can I go in there for a minute?"

"Whaddaya want, kid?" the guard grunted.

I sniffed loudly, and let a tear fall down my face. "ONII-CHAAAANN!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs and Nagihiko appeared out of nowhere. "What the hell did you do to my sister?!" Nagihiko gasped at the security guard.

"W-wait..." the guard looked at us. "You're RELATED??!!"

"He tried to rape me!" I sobbed and pointed at him, just because he was pissing me off by calling me a kid.

"What the hell?!" the guard yelled. "I didn't do that, you – "

"YOU SICK PEDOPHILE!!!" Nagihiko yelled at him. "I'M CALLING THE POLICE!!!"

The guard seemed to look at us harder. "Hang on – that's your younger sister? Why do you need to get in there?"

"I left my sweater in my daddy's office," I lied quickly.

The guard paled. "Wait... you father works for this company, you're blond, has a dark-haired older brother..." the guard stumbled back, and started bowing. "I BEG YOUR FORGIVENESS, TSUKIYOMI-SAMAS!! I DID NOT REALIZE IT WAS YOU!!" he shuffled back and opened the door. Nagihiko muttered under his breath, "idiot."

Inside

Stupid Nagihiko with his moral compass. How was I supposed to know where the east wing was?

Two minutes later

"AMU'S chucking the rope?!" I whispered to Nagihiko. "We're doomed."

"Hm? Why?"

"Have you SEEN that girl play baseball?!"

Nagihiko turned an odd pasty colour.

Amu suddenly threw it, and it hit the window under us. "Sorry!" Amu yelled. The second time it hit the one above us, and I think I got glass in my hair. "SORRY!!" the third time it flew right through the window, and I hid behind Nagihiko. Sadly, this meant it hit him right in the head, and he passed out in my lap.

Later

Yaya was the first one up (apparently she volunteered herself). "What the hell happened to Nagi?!" Yaya asked, looking right at me as if to say, _you sick bitch --- we all know you totally drugged him and planned to rape him in his sleep_.

"Amu hit in him the head with the garden hose and he passed out," I dully recited.

Utau and Amu came up, followed by Kukai. Utau spoke first and pointed accusingly at me. "You sick bitch --- we all totally know you totally drugged him and planned to rape him in his sleep!"

"What the hell?!" I yelped. "Amu hit him in the head and he passed out!"

"Suuuuuuure... Suuuuuuure..." they all whinnied.

They're the bitches. Even Kukai.

Now we've taken a brief interlude plan, the Wake Up Nagi-kun Plan. Utau slapped him, Kukai kicked him, Yaya ran away to fetch cold water and Amu tried bribing him with instant noodles.

"Try kissing him," Utau suggested to me.

"NO!" I yelled.

Utau gave me a _look_. "It's not as if it's your first kiss this time... besides, every kiss she's ever had has been via a Fujisaki – isn't that kind of suspicious?" Utau stage-whispered to Kukai and Amu, who both snorted.

Amu counted on her fingers. "America, second time in America when she was asleep" (HE KISSED ME WHILE I WAS ASLEEP??!!" I screamed) "Birthday, Saito." Amu looked smugly at me, and I wondered idly how she knew all those. "That's four. One more and we can call you a Fujisaki whore. Now hurry up."

"No! That's taking advantage of me and my position!" I told them.

"Ohhh??!!" Kukai grinned evilly. "What position? The compromising position Amu told me you were in yesterday?"

"That was an accident," I hissed.

"Shut up," Nagihiko mumbled, and we all fell silent. "What?" I asked him. "What did you say?"

"Shut up, Rima --- you know that was definitely not an accident so don't lie..."

"You pervert!" I told him. "You've been eavesdropping this entire time."

"Um, no." he said sleepily, rubbing his eyes. "I woke up just about the time you screamed..." he mimicked a high voice. " '_He kissed me while I was asleep_??!!'"

"They better not have been making it up," I said through gritted teeth.

"Oh, of course they were making it up --- they have their reasons to lie," he said sarcastically.

"So you – " I sputtered. "You – no!!" I said , scuttling over to Amu and clinging to her arm. "My poor beautiful innocence..."

"What innocence?"

Ahahaha. Yaya came back and dumped water all over Nagihiko. Sadly, this just makes his bangs fall into his eyes so he looks effortlessly handsome, like one of those dark eerie emo boys. You know, the Sasuke-personality that the fangirls love.

People who don't have to work at their appearance really piss me off. And as soon as I get home I am ripping down that poster I have of Sasuke Uchiha on my wall.

That will teach them emo boys.

Ha.

The Plan commences!!

Yaya looked at me and Nagihiko first. "Hmmm. You guys are incredibly valuable, due to your whole sibling-incest thing..." ("What?!" I sputtered). "Utau and Amu are valuable because of idol charisma. Me and Kukai are valuable because... we can run away. So. Yaya and Kukai-kun will go with Nagi and Rima-tan to go distract anybody who might be lurking. Utan and Amu-chi will go straight through and try and rescue Ikurin. Utan, where's Ikurin located?"

"There were so many nicknames in there that I could barely understand what she was saying," I murmured in Nagihiko's ear.

Utau looked upset. "I don't know. They moved him after I found him."

"Crapsticks..." I'd never heard Yaya say _Crapsticks _before. Then she snapped her fingers. "Of course! In fairy tales, the princesses are always locked in the tallest tower!"

"Ikuto's not a princess!" we all shouted at her but she ignored us. "Come, let's go in the elevator!! Gosh I love those things!!"

Elevator

"The elevator's tiny," Utau remarked, but we all fit in anyway. Suddenly, a little sign flashed. WEIGHT QUOTA OVER LIMIT.

"What?!" I stammered.

"People in Easter must be anorexic," Nagihiko said dryly.

Utau thought for a minute, her ponytails bobbing. "Here. We'll all take off our coats."

We all threw them in a pile outside.

Still the red light blared.

"Crap," Utau stamped her foot.

"I read somewhere that when you're drowning, you should kick off your shoes because they'll drag you down," Nagihiko suggested mildly.

We all took off our shoes as well.

Kukai pointed a finger. "I bet it's Fujisaki and Mashiro's hair!"

"Let's cut it!!" said Utau greedily.

"NOOO!!!" we both screamed, tossing it over our shoulder and clinging to it.

"Yours is longer!" Nagihiko said, pointing.

"You're is denser, my hair has air pockets," I retorted.

"_Air pockets_," Nagihiko snorted.

Suddenly, Amu interrupted. "Oh, I'm so stupid!" she said, and tossed her bracelets outside. The red light changed to green.

"The hell!?!" we all shouted at her.

"They were made of lead," she said meekly.

Top floor

We rescued our coats because the building was freezing, but shoes made the red light go on again so we decided that it was easier to run without them anyway. As soon as we stepped out, Nagihiko stopped dead, his breath went down to zero, and he clutched my arm so hard I think my circulation was cut.

"Nagihiko?" I asked.

"I told you it would cut it's way out of the box," Nagihiko hissed darkly. **(see chapter 33)**

"It's just a stupid cardboard cutout!" I told him. "it's paper! You know, you're taking this fear of clowns too – "

"SSSHHHHH!!!!" Nagihiko told me. "if you say their name, you will incur their wrath!!"

"Ugh," I rolled my eyes, and kicked the cutout down. It fell the wrong way and hit Nagihiko on the head.

"AAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" Nagihiko screamed loud enough to wake up the living dead.

"Hey!" somebody yelled. "What are a bunch of kids doing up here?!"

"RUN!!!" Yaya yelled gleefully.

After...

And that was how we split up. I was still with Nagihiko, who was pale and shaking but nevertheless reverting back to his usual nasty know-it-all self.

"S-sorry," he exhaled.

"We would have been caught anyway," I said bracingly, feeling an ephemeral (Nagihiko Word) sensibility settling over me. "We can't think about that now. Utau and Amu should hopefully be looking for Ikuto now, so we have to keep everyone else busy."

"Right," he nodded.

"If Yaya's theory is right – which, in a fucked-up way it probably is – then Ikuto's in the middle of the floor. We need to drive everyone to the edges. Umm..."

"I think the plan is to be a distraction so that Utau and Amu can take the direct route, right?" Nagihiko finished.

"... right."

Nagihiko got an evil look on his face. "This will be. So. Much. Fun."

Five Minutes Later

I cried for an innocent guard who was holding a coffee from Dunkin' Donuts. "Have you... seen my Onii-sama?" I sniffed.

"What?" he asked, confused.

"I... can't find... my older brother," I said, making the tears go faster. "Can you..." I little extremely fake sob escaped me. "Can you help me find him? Pleeeeaasee???"

"Okay, little girl," he said, and I 'accidentally' stepped on his foot. "I think he was... near the windows."

Later

And so we repeated this procedure for the millionth time when suddenly I saw Utau, who was looking panicked.

"Ho... Hoshina-san?" the guard said, bewildered. He shook his head hurriedly. "Alert the Director! She's not supposed to be in here!!"

Nagihiko appeared out of nowhere, and picked me up. "There you are, Rima-chama!" he said (for the millionth time). Then he looked blankly at the guards. "Hoshina? Like the idol?" He laughed a little, and his eyes started glowing eerily. "That's not Hoshina Utau. You must be mistaken."

"W-what? Of course we're not!" the guard sputtered.

Nagihiko reluctantly put me down, and a teacher's-pet grin unfolded itself all over his face. "What? Of course not! That's our older cousin!" he laughed charmingly. "She's often told she looks a lot like that famous idol!"

They all looked at him blankly.

"Here, Rima-chama, go run over to... uhh... Itoko-tan." Nagihiko said, and blinked innocently. "You see, it all started when our family was first founded and then...."

**(A/N: Itoko = cousin)**

"What's he doing?" Utau muttered.

"He's making up a story so complicated that the guards won't want to admit they don't know what he's talking about," I said, recognizing the symptoms. "Also going on improv and inventing a story to cover our asses. Anyway," I lowered my voice. "What happened to Amu and everyone?"

"We got split up," she said grimly. "She ended up going with Yaya and Kukai, but they were forced to split up later when Yaya caused a distraction by spilling marbles all over the floor. I ran into Kukai later. The three of them got split up again by guards. They've tightened security tenfold since I was last here," she said miserably.

"So, now it's you, me, and Nagi," I reeled off. "Amu by herself, Yaya by herself, Kukai by himself." I looked at Utau. "We should go look for them before doing anything else."

Utau nodded.

Nagihiko came over at that moment, having successfully deluded the guards into not knowing where they were going. "I heard everything. That sounds like an okay plan."

Utau took a deep breath. "Okay, Nagihiko can come with me, and Rima, you can..."

"We can't let Rima go by herself!" Nagi protested. Utau disagreed. "Rima's not dumb, Fujisaki. Plus, she has the whole kawaii factor going for her. She'll be fine. Plus, as long as I'm by myself people are going to know I'm on that bastard's wanted list."

We didn't bother to ask who that bastard was.

Nagihiko looked at me reluctantly.

"Stop it. you sound like overprotective parents," I grumbled.

Nagihiko sighed. "If you get into something it's all your fault."

"Nope," I grinned at him. "I'll find some way to blame it on you."

Later

I had been running for God Knows How Long when I ducked into a bathroom to escape them. All those creepy guys couldn't go into the girl's bathroom! HA!

I went by a sink and looked at my face. I looked like some kind of stranger. My face was flushed, my bangs were brushed off my face, and my eyes looked a little... deranged. Ha. Suddenly, a voice said tentatively behind me, "Rima?"

"Amu!" I said in relief, whirling around. "I don't have any time to explain anything!"

"Oh my god, thank god it's you!" Amu said, coming up to the sink as well. "All those freaking guards were chasing me everywhere and so... sorry. We still haven't found him."

"That doesn't matter!" I said, making a pathetic attempt at optimism. "I bet it's right under our noses and we just don't know i – "

At that minute, the sink tipped into itself, and we both screamed as we landed in the dark.

"Rima?" a voice said out of the darkness.

"Amu?"

"Oh good," Amu exhaled. We were standing in a hallway of some kind. As our eyes got used to the dark, we could see a door with a name on it. Amu, the taller one, stood up and read the letters on the door. As she did, the whole corridor seemed to deathly silent with the shock of it.

"Tsukiyomi Ikuto."

DUN DUN DUNNNNN

"Well?" I snapped at her. "Hurry up and open the door."

"I – I – " her face was bright red. "Maybe you should do it."

"No." I stood back. "You should be the one to do it. I'll wait outside."

Amu reluctantly opened the door and then shut it behind her, but I made sure the door was open a crack so that I could eavesdrop.

"Ikuto!" she cried, and I heard footsteps.

"Oh, fuck," said another voice.

"What is it?"

"Well, I'm obviously hallucinating from lack of oxygen or something."

"Don't give me that crap, hentai cosplay nekomimi!" Amu yelled, and I heard a slap.

"Oh, great. This is even worse. Hallucinations don't slap innocent bystanders."

"Innocent?!" Amu hissed. "Who are you to talk about innocence!"

"... coming from the girl who... is the very embodiment of innocence." Ikuto seemed to be enjoying himself.

"Well, hurry up then."

"What?" he said blankly.

"Rima's waiting outside. Why do you THINK we're here?"

"Oh, I figured chibi here was outside to guard the door from intruders while we talked... or not talk. I'm fine with not talking too."

"IN YOUR WET DREAMS, ECCHI!!" Amu yelled, and I heard two pairs of footsteps.

**(A/N: Aaaahhhh.... how I've missed writing Amuto dialogue...)**

"Oh, hello, chibi," said Ikuto mildly, looked utterly exhausted. "Do you have any idea why Amu-koi is so furious?"

"Nooooo idea," I said, smiling in spite of myself. "Now... let's see..."

"Should I call Utau?" asked Amu, holding up her cell phone.

"Wait." I stopped dead and stared. "YOU HAD A CELL PHONE THIS ENTIRE TIME??!!"

Utau's giant-ass loft apartment – why hasn't she invited us here before? Stingy. 

"IKU-CHAAAAANNN!!!" Utau cried, leaning on him. "I'm soooo glad you're back and I MISSED YOU SOOOO MUCH!!!"

We all started shuffling away hurriedly, except for Amu and Kukai who sat and glowered, and Yaya who was sleeping. Which pretty much meant only me and Nagi shuffled away, but still. Incest is... scary. I should know.

Utau yawned, relinquished Ikuto and suddenly flipped open her phone. "Well, I think we'd better stay under the radar for awhile. Where do you suggest we go, Yaya?"

Since when did she ask YAYA'S opinion on everything?!

Yaya instantly woke up and bounced up and down. "Well, it's summer, right?"

"Yeah," I said dully.

"What do people do in the summer?" Yaya asked.

"Eat dogs in Korea."

"Watch TV reruns."

"Hit on little girls."

"Go to the Obon Festival."

"Put out a new single."

"Sleep." (This was Nagihiko)

Yaya looked at us all blankly. "Really?"

Um, yeah.

"Well..." Yaya stood straight up and pointed at all of us. "WE NEED TO PACK LOTS AND LOTS OF FUN AND JOYNESS INTO THIS SUMMER AND HIDE IKURIN" ("Ikurin?!" exclaimed Ikuto) "AT THE SAME TIME!! SO, IT IS OBVIOUS WHAT WE MUST DO --- WE MUST GO CAMPING IN SOME REMOTE PART OF THE WORLD!!!"

We all started shaking our heads frantically at Utau. Utau just looked thoughtful, until her eyes lit up. "THAT'S PERFECT, YAYA!!" she huggled Ikuto. "NOW ME AND IKURIN CAN HAVE SIBLING BONDING TIME!!!"

"Okay," Ikuto growled, making his eyes go squinty and threatening. "Whose bright idea was it to call me _Ikurin_?!"

* * *

From now on, I hereby name this random section... TAMA OMAKE****

YEAH!!!

'Tama' means 'ball' or 'spirit/soul' in Japanese (It can also mean 'bullet', but... heh). I took it from the legend of the kitsune. These demon foxes were said to carry sparkling balls, _tama no hoshi,_ tied to their tail or in their mouth that held their souls in them. Kitsune cannot survive very long separated from them, and if a human manages to get his hands on one he can extract a favour from the fox. But to be honest I just used it 'cause it sounded cute.

'Omake' means, usually, "Omake theatre". Basically an "Easter egg", an unexpected bonus. Usually these are short featurettes after an episode of a TV series or an OVA.

Anyway, so it seems that the entire Shugo Chara fanbase is buzzing with the news of the Character Songs being released... okay, I'm exaggerating. The fanbase said nothing at all to me since I had to be told so by Ivy-tan (aka Ivy34325) and Lina-chi (aka xXxLostButterflyxXx) via MSN.

Anyway, the fanbase was not-so-buzzing with the news – finally, no more bias! Now ALL THE CHARACTERS get their own songs! Aren't they fabulous? Aren't they great? Can't they all sing wonderfully? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???!!! Here comes Kimi-tsu with this chapter's Omake, puncturing the swelled opinions of those character songs. HEH.

**(WARNING: please do not flame me. My character song expectations are always very high. You might love these songs. That's great, and I envy you for being able to enjoy them. Flames will be replied to with snappish replies and deletion, so don't waste your effort. Thank you.)**

**NOTE: 'Black Alice' is like what Ali Project sings. 'White Alice' is like what Hello! Project sings.**

**Itsuka no Romance – Mashiro Rima**. Um, no. this isn't top-of-the-oricon material, okay?! Sayuri Yahagi, as I've said before, CANNOT SING. She couldn't carry a tune in a bucket even if she tried, which she clearly didn't in this song. It's adorable and sweet and fluffy but it's not Rima! my precious Ri-Ri-tan is the one that hates Nagi's guts, the one that rebuffed Amu repeatedly when she first elbowed her way into the series. My Rima is strong and independent and acts like an overprotective parent towards Amu-chi (bet Tsumugu's thankful for Rima around...). They make Rima sound like a kawaii Lolita, which may be what she acts like but is what she's ultimately not. Yahagi speaks too quietly as well, so that her voice sounds all scratchy and bleh. VERDICT: OOC!!

**Chiisana Hoshi – Tada-gay. **Thank you, you lovely character song manufacturers. Finally, a song that captures Homo-ri Tada-gay's true nature! Soft, feminine singing randomly punctuated by tyrant laughing. Hey, at least we have more material to make fun of him. VERDICT: canon but gay.

**Secret Princess – Yua/Amu. **Yeah, they both sound the exact same. Cute and pretty. To be honest, I didn't know Kanae could sing. Well, she proved me wrong. And Kugimiya-sama, as ever, didn't fail my expectations. Banzai! You get to live another day, Secret Princess!!!! VERDICT: cute song.

**Hana Tegami – Fujisaki Nagihiko/Nadeshiko. **This song made Nagihiko sound smexy. And I've always been a sucker for traditional Japanese music. Plus, it has a catchy tune that doesn't get boring the more you listen to it. Oh yes... because I have been listening to it repeatedly, nonstop, without breaks. This song – TEH BOMB!!!!!!! It starts out with Saeko singing like Nade, with all the Japanese music playing. Then, suddenly, it grinds to a stop and then it picks up a beat that sounds almost Mexican (that's the only way I can describe it...). and then the oh-so-talented Chiba-sama drops her voice an octave and we get gorgey Nagi!!! Hooray!!! It has that kind of Pirates-of-the-Caribbean feel to it... you remember that song from that movie? Where they're all like DUN, DUN, DUN DUN DUN DUN? (am I making any sense?) it had that kind of feel to it. Almost... dark. Which, of course, is smart. Nagihiko is a dark kind of character. He's perverse and manipulative, and has to hold back secrets. And I'd say he had the second-most-troubling childhood next to Ikuto. VERDICT: LISTEN TO IT OR KIMI-TSU WILL REARRANGE YOUR FACE.

**Ookiku Naare – Yuiki Yaya the constant crack baby (sorry, that was harsh...)**. to be honest, I was expecting a faster-paced song. Hello? This is the girl who's on a permanent sugar high. A bit overly-cute. Yaya's cute... but she's the engine behind the guardians. We don't want a Tada-gay-worthy song representing Yaya-tan!!! Sounded like a cross between a Las Vegas show-and-dance number and a lullaby. If something like that exists. VERDICT: cutesy-pie and Yaya-underestimating.

**Colorful Heartbeat – Amu and the Guardians. **God forbid we get the most talented singer of the Shugo Chara bunch to do a duet with Amu (Duh, I'm talking about Utau!) no, instead we get this crap. I mean, it's cute. Cute is Grrrrrrrr. Kimi is sick of cute. Shugo Chara is not just made for lolicons, okay??!!! And Kanae Ito keeps trying to stuff too many syllables into a tune, like a badly-made haiku. VERDICT: okay, but could have done better.

**Tsukiyo no Marionetto – Tsukiyomi Ikuto. **(and sorry to the songwriter, because that's not how you spell Marionette). You know one thing that amazes me about the human brain? How it can delude itself into thinking almost anything to protect the thing it loves and cherishes. A perfect example is this song and IkutoFangirl&Co.'s reaction. In this song, IKUTO IS NOT SEXY. IKUTO IS NOT HOT. IKUTO SOUNDS LIKE A GAY LAS VEGAS DRAG QUEEN THAT PLAYS THE TRUMPET. Let me break this to you – and I will admit I'm guilty as anyone else in making this mistake. Ikuto isn't some kind of flamboyant playboy. He's stoic, silent, impassive, and protective with a bit of a playful streak. To be honest, I was expecting Black Alice with a violin introduction, similar to _Black Diamond._ It did have a violin intro, but it wasn't very slow or melancholic like would be pretty fitting. Nope. And Yuuichi Nakamura, who is a talented singer, should not sing in his normal voice! Kanae didn't do that for Amu, Yahagi didn't do that for Rima (with bad results, but...) and Saeko Chiba didn't do that for Nagi so WHY DON'T YOU AT LEAST TRY TO GET YOUR VOICE A BIT LOWER?! IKUTO DOES NOT WEAR FLUFFY BIKINIS AND RISE AND DROP HIS VOICE DRAMATICALLY DOWN THE SCALES LIKE THAT!!! *freaks out and goes TsunTsun* VERDICT: OOC!!

**Taiyou ga Niauyo – Hoshina Utau. **Sweet little song, to be honest. Not stretching Mizuki's singing skills to their peak so it sounds strained. I would have liked a bit of a mix of Black and White Alice in there – isn't the whole running gag on Utau that she has her sweet angelic Eru side and her ebil satanic Iru side? This only represents the clean-break Utau who I find boring (Gah, sorry Utau fans. She is a cute character, truly). But... VERDICT: Cute song, OOC.

In closing~

1. four more chapters! There was so much more filler crap I wanted to fit in!! nuuu!!!

2. at least... SAITO IS GONE. He was funny but kinda more like an Ikuto stand-in to make pervy comments and make Nagi pissed...

3. Okay. Remember Code Geass? (DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE ANY INTENTION OF WATCHING OR ARE PARTWAY THROUGH) I was almost finished the first season when.... some jerk spoiled the whole fricking ending!!! Grrr!! That made me really pissed off, but afterward all I felt was kinda sad. I understand it was all for the best blah blah blah but I don't believe that was REALLY necessary for a happy ending. Death should never be the only way for a happy ending – if it is, then I'd rather have everyone suffer together, alive. It's the same kind of dilemma in Fullmetal Alchemist, isn't it (Er, Kimi... not really).

4. But, I've started watching Soul Eater!! This I can tell you from the first episode: SOULXMAKA FOREVA. Ha. I totally see it coming that Soul's gonna fall on top of Maka in an ecchi position, walk in on her while she's changing, accidentally kiss her or some other doki-doki rabu-rabu shoujo mishap. Funnily enough, Nagi's done 2/3 of those in this story. Hmmm....

5. Okay, has anyone ever seen the anime Kin'iro No Chord: Prima Passo? It's a harem, but it has this dude in it that's exactly like Nagi, as Lina pointed out. Azuma Yunoki. long purple hair, goldy-brown eyes, does traditional Japanese girly things like gardening... HOLY CRAPSTICKS. IT'S NAGI'S OLDER, HAWTER CLONE. IMAGE SEARCH HIM RIGHT NOWWW!!!

6. Oh yeah --- and I have now turned into an chataholic on MSN. *hee* beware the Kimi-tsu – she will engage you in conversation as soon as you sign in! and then bombard you with excuses when you demand to know why she isn't writing her chapter! I do, however, give you updates on how the chapter's going on MSN and I NEED MORE CONTACTS!!! *rawr* add me at my hotmail, which is located at my profile.

Anyway, next chapter – everyone goes camping in a posh remote deserted forest and Kukai sings a veeerry inappropriate song! Only on next week's episode of the smashing Korean drama that has everyone on edge... HANG ON I'M READING FROM THE WRONG SCRIPT HERE!!!

- Kimi-tsu~*


	49. He's Type AB!

**(WARNING: MAJORLY LONG. I THINK I COUNTED ABOUT 7,000 WORDS. I'm dreadfully sorry. I had a lot to say for this chapter.)**

The Next Day

Wonders of all wonders happened today. I actually knew more then Nagihiko.

Well, kind of.

I was packing for what Yaya called, "Yaya-and-Utan's-awesome-camping-extravaganza", and trying to decide what I should bring. Yaya had claimed that we'd be 'roughing it', but Utau said in an undertone that we'd have electricity. I think she was implying that we could leave our tent poles and tarps at home.

Hee hee.

And that's when my phone started ringing. No, it's not Rie Kugimiya anymore. It's the opening to Code Geass. Don't ask. Anyway, it vibrated so violently that once again it propelled itself off my desk and killed a sleeping Kanon. Oh Well.

"Hullo?" I said dully into the receiver.

"Well, you sound like crap," said a voice flatly.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!"

"Don't be so snappish with me," Nagihiko sounded like he was quite enjoying bossing me around. He's going to make a very abusive husband – not like I think about it that hard or anything.

"I'll make a great husband! I can cook and clean!"

"Gah – how did you – " I stuttered.

"You talk to yourself," Nagihiko told me.

"Fine." I said grumpily.

Nagihiko laughed evilly. "What, you though I could read minds or something?!"

"No, just mine," I grumbled.

"That's because you're like an open book. Anyway, I've got a question..."

"You WHAT?!" I said in an exaggeratedly surprised voice. "Why, Mister Honour-roll-know-it-all has a QUESTION!"

"It's not funny," Nagihiko hissed, stung. You could clearly see that it was killing him to ask someone else a question. "Where exactly did Utau say we were going?"

"You could have asked Utau," I rolled my eyes.

"But I wanted to hear your voice," said Nagihiko, rising his voice dramatically so that he almost sounded Nadeshiko-like. I could practically hear all the hair-flicking and eyelash-batting on the other end of the phone.

"She said there'd be electricity. I think she means a cabin or something."

"Oh, good," Nagihiko exhaled. "if I had to be stuffed into a tent with Tada-ga – I mean, Tadase, I would never get any sleep – he snores like hell." He fell silent.

"Nagihiko?" I said tentatively.

"Yeah?"

"Um, something's kind of bugging me – this thing you said the other day."

"What other day?"

"The day before Saito left. You know, the day we hatched the craptastic plan to capture Ikuto. Anyway... Nagihiko?" the line had fallen utterly silent again.

"Rima – "

"Shut up," I told him. "Well, you said something to Saito about how I was the most – "

"Rimaihavetogonow. Bye." He said really fast and hung up.

Stupid coward.

Later

Stupid gag manga!!! It won't all fit into my suitcase!!!

6:45

"RI-RI-TAAAANN!!!" my mother called loudly. "DINNERTIME!!"

Something felt odd about how she called me, but I tried to ignore it. "Food?" I called down hopefully. I could hear a food processor whirring downstairs over the sound of Bakatan's belchathon. Wait, since when did we have a food processor...?

My mother chuckled darkly. "You'll see."

Dinner

My mother put a big round spoonful of violent orange stuff onto my plate.

"Um, yum," I said. "What is it?"

"It's carrot, of course," said my mother, putting on her Nagihiko-wow-you're-stupid face.

"Of course it is! Silly me!" I said, laughing giddily. "I didn't realize that carrots, could, er... be turned into... such a... shapeless shape. I mean, I guess this is what I ate when I had no teeth."

My mother just glowered at me and put something gray onto my plate.

"Okay, what's this," I said flatly.

"Chicken."

"..."

"And this is... what _is _that?" my mother asked, peering into the saucepan.

"Mama," I said quietly. "That's Bakatan's food."

At the table

"So please explain why everything is so... shapeless." I said dully.

"Hm?" my mother was using her fork to put even ridges in the carrot. She started grooming it into a large orange pointy mountain.

"Why is there nothing solid for dinner?" I peeked into the kitchen. "Wait, what's that?"

"That's the food processor," said my mother airily.

"Since when did we have a food processor?" I asked, voicing my question from earlier.

"Oh..." my mother's eyes got all blurry and dreamy. "Since you were born, honey. We needed one for you and teeth up until you were, what, one and a half? Your teeth grew in so slowly, we thought you were physically retarded or something!!" my mother started laughing like a psychopathic marginal ventriloquist dummy (Nagihiko Word – god knows what that was doing in one of his essays). She continued on in an absentminded manner. "And you had such a giant mop of hair! It was absolutely darling, but it was soooo hard to keep clean! You had this _cat plushie..._" she giggled giddily. "And you dragged it around everywhere! You wouldn't let it out of your sight for a minute, and whenever it needed washing you'd always sulk..."

"You know what? I don't wanna hear it!" I exclaimed, putting my hands over my ears.

"Fair enough. I'll tell Nagi when you get engaged. _He'll _be an eager audience."

"Not funny," I said dully. "We won't get engaged."

My mother smiled creepily at me. I bet it's the same smile she uses when she's trying to coerce somebody into selling their company. "Rima, you have to tell him how you feel one of these days! Or else I won't get my son-in-law," she added in an undertone.

I knew the reason was superficial. Wait... I almost fell off my chair. "HOW DO YOU KNOW – TELL HIM – FEEL?!"

My mother suddenly looked extremely guilty. "Uh... the... THE CAT TOLD ME!" she randomly said, pointing at Bakatan (who was gobbling all the "carrot" I was dumping for him on the floor).

I spotted my journal, which was on the sideboard. "You're... evil..." I said nastily.

"It was lying open when I went to clean," my mother claimed. "And you write... really big. You'll need a new one soon from all the pages you go through per day." She smirked. "I bet if I read the rest, I'd find all the really nasty fantasies and stuff..."

"NO YOU WOULDN'T!!!"

"Uh-huh."

The next day. 7:33 a.m.

I heard Amu giggle crazily. "Nagi, don't look at her like that. You look like a creep."

"Look at her like _what_? I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Back up the muffins," I told them, and they burst out laughing. "What the hell was that? Is all she can dream about food?"

"Shut up, tweety birds, I'm trying to sleep here." I felt around for the SNOOZE button on my alarm clock, but I'm pretty sure I slapped somebody instead.

"Owwww," Nagihiko moaned. "Love hurts."

I didn't answer because I was asleep.

What felt like thirty seconds later

"Rima. Rima. _Rima_."

"Rima this, Rima that, you should stop chasing Barney and just let him have the fruity pebbles already..."

Nagihiko snorted. "WAKE UUUUPPP."

"What is... the cross-dresser... doing in my room? Buzz, call the fashion police. Or the normal police. Whatever floats your boat... get the fuck out of my cheerios."

"Rima," he said in his syrupy voice. "Waffles."

Still with my eyes shut, I grabbed at his collar. "Where?"

"Ha, Ha. Get out of bed and I might be inclined to tell you."

I yanked him closer to me, and burrowed down deeper into my duvet. "No. Waffles."

"You're only getting waffles if you get out of bed. You can't eat breakfast in bed."

"Then..." I pushed my face into his chest. I WAS HALF-ASLEEP, OKAY?! "... then why were breakfast-in-bed inns invented?"

"Rima... Amu's fetching the ice water."

"You fight dirty."

"Oh, I have many different ways of fighting. And different ways of doing it dirty. Since you're still asleep, want me to test a couple on you?"

I quickly fell out of bed. "I'M WIDE AWAKE, YOU PERV."

"That did the trick excellently. I can see why Ikuto does it so often."

"Where are my waffles?"

"I lied. Unless you want the masticated pineapple pancakes that your mom just slaughtered in the food processor."

"Blarg," I shuddered. "Oh, and can I ask what the hell you and Amu are doing here?"

"To pick you up. We know how bad you are about getting out of bed. We're going, quote, "camping" today, aren't we?"

"Where, like Wal-Mart? Save money, live better..."

"RIMA. YOU'RE FALLING ASLEEP AGAIN."

Outside

Utau has rented us, um, a bus. Good job Utau. It's nice to know that being an idol can get you somewhere. Like on a bus to the middle of nowhere.

"Where's the limo?" said Ikuto dully. Him, along with the rest of us, were in our normal civilian clothes. Unlike Yaya, who was dressed up in scary shorts, cowboy boots, and a walking stick. No, Yaya. No.

"I left it at home," said Utau sarcastically.

"Th-that's okay, Hoshina-san," Tadase said nicely. "A bus is fine."

"HOLD OUT FOR THE LIMOUSINE DAMMIT!!" we all shouted at him.

**(A/N: Yes. Lol. Tadase iz bak. Sorry I haven't included him lately... and I'll try and be nicer to him...)**

In the Bus from Hell

"I CALL SHOTGUN!!" Yaya yelled.

Amu suddenly paused. "Ikuto, are you driving?"

"Eh?" Ikuto started. "Um, well..."

"He got his license revoked," Utau translated.

Amu goggled at him. "What did you do?"

We all stiffened.

Ikuto leaned close and bit her ear. "Wanna see?"

"WE DON'T!!" we all yelled, running for the back of the bus.

I shrugged. "I bet he got it revoked for something that didn't even have to do with driving. You can drive, can't you?"

"Yeah," Ikuto inclined his head.

"There aren't any law enforcement officers on the freeways anyway," Nagihiko said cheerfully.

Ikuto shrugged and stepped into the bus-driver seat.

"Don't just sit there like some kind of apathetic mecha driver!" I shouted. "Put on some kind of determined face, like Suzaku whenever he steps into the Lancelot!"

"Or Setsuna when he steps into a Gundam!" Nagi chimed in.

"Or – or – or when Tomoya sees Nagisa!" Yaya put in randomly.

Nagihiko eyed Yaya dubiously. "He doesn't look determined in Clannad... just kinda stoic and lovesick."

"Kind of like when Ikuto sees Am – OW! Don't step on my foot!" I yelled.

Nagihiko kind of widened his eyes for a minute. "They are kinda similar. Tomoya and Ikuto. I mean, listen to their voices. They're practically the same."

"And their both rude and stoic," Amu said nastily.

"Hey. You all _really _don't look at the voice actors for animes, do you?" said Ikuto dully.

**(A/N: Sorry. You won't get all that unless you're a giant mecha fan and watch Clannad)**

"Uhh..."

"Whatever. Just get on the damn bus."

Half an hour later

Okay. Ikuto is... THE SLOWEST FUCKING DRIVER I'VE EVER SEEN. OKAY? He's like, going 10 miles an hour at the most. He's so slow I saw a family of ducks pass us on the highway!!!

Utau kind of cleared her throat. "A-ano, Ikuto... mind going a little faster?"

"No," said Ikuto serenely. "I just want to get there in one piece."

"Yeah, by next Christmas," I remarked.

Nagihiko is still buried in his psychology book. Yaya is still playing on Utau's sidekick. Kukai is still playing hackee sack with Ikuto's box of spare violin strings (I think Kukai's gonna die soon).

Five minutes later

A big giant steamer truck came right up behind Ikuto. He said nervously, "Oh, crap."

"Just drive faster," said Utau irritably.

"I think he's fingering me," said Ikuto worriedly.

"No shit!!!" Utau yelled, but Ikuto continued driving at the speed of a Fisher Price tricycle.

The truck honked.

"Just LET HIM PASS YOU," Utau groaned.

"What?" said Ikuto placidly.

"LET HIM PASS YOU!! SWITCH LANES!!" Amu said loudly.

"Mmm-k," said Ikuto, and he pulled over.

"Look at all those middle fingers," said Kukai, impressed.

Utau shoved Ikuto out of the drivers' seat. "I'LL DRIVE!!". She smiled pleasantly at the windshield. "Goodness, this is a complicated dashboard. Whatever. At least I know where the gas pedal is."

15 Minutes later

HELP.

SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME!!!

Utau is a demon locked inside the body of an idol! Right now, she's pushing about one-fifty!!! I'm surprised nobody has pulled us over!!! The scenery whizzing past is but a green-gray blur!!

"Nagi!" I squeaked, clinging to his arm. He's still reading his stupid book. He didn't even look up when Utau ran over a small rodent and got guts all over the windshield! She just powered up the windshield wipers and barreled right through three lanes of traffic!!!

"WHAT'S CHOOR PROBLEM?!!" Utau keeps roaring out the window at passing cars.

Nagihiko turned the page of his book.

"Nagihikoooo," I whimpered. "Are you DEAF?"

"Mmmm... no," he said idly. "She's at about two hundred now, no?"

"Do something!" I cried, rocking back and forth.

" '_Cainotophobia''_" Nagihiko read. "_is a rare psychological disorder also known as neophobia. Its opposite is neophilia, and occurs in roughly about .3% of the American population...' _Look at this, Rima. This doctor says that the answer to Neophobia is exposure treatment, but this psychologist from Massachusetts thinks that..."

"I don't care!" I snapped.

"I think driving brings out my inner goddess!!!" Utau said gleefully up front. "Here we go! Yoga fire breaths from deep down! Jump out of the way, Mister Raccoon! Oh! Too late!"

Uuuuunnnggghhhh.

I don't know how later

"Yahtzee!" yelled Kukai, dumping the dice.

"You cheated," said Ikuto, point-blank. "It's my turn to choose the game."

Amu slid off the chair. "Oh? What?"

"I pick poker!" said Ikuto, his eyes gleaming crazily.

"NO." said Amu, twitching. "Why don't we just play, like, spoons or something?"

5 minutes later

"SPOONS!!" Ikuto yelled, his cat ears popping out and snatching a piece of cutlery with absurd ease. "Oh, Amu lost. Come on. Take off a piece of clothing."

"It's amazing how good you can get at card games when little girls stripping is involved," Amu muttered darkly.

" '_Within and among individuals with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, the initial obsessions, or intrusive thoughts, can vary in their clarity and vividness. A relatively vague obsession could involve a general sense of disarray or tension..._'" Nagihiko read. He's on page one hundred and nine already!

_TWO AND A HALF HOURS LATER. IT WOULD HAVE TAKEN LONGER IF UTAU HADN'T BEEN DRIVING. _

"Oh, here's the cabin," said Utau happily. We zoomed past it.

"Crap! We missed it!" Utau cursed. She wheeled around, crashed into the sign, and a shower of pine needles rained down on the bus. Then it started to rain

"Nice welcome," Ikuto said dryly.

Inside

"IT'S A MOOSE!" Yaya yelled. There was a giant moose head hanging up on the wall with dust bunnies hanging from his chin like a particularly fugly Santa Claus. Its eyes were glassed over and he looked kind of stoned.

"Yeah," said Utau thoughtfully. "Anyway..." she pointed to the room to the right. "Girls. Other way is boys." She squinted at me, who was still clinging to Nagi's arm (he had his psychology book out again). "Well... if you two really have to, I suppose you can stay out here for you know, privacy..."

"DON'T BE A PERVERT," we both said frostily (Nagihiko Word).

"DON'T BE A PAIR OF LOVEBIRDS IF YA DON'T MEAN IT THEN," Ikuto and Amu replied.

Yaya bounced up and down. "Now we have to go HIKING!!" she proclaimed.

"Um, look outside, dorkus," I pointed outside to the flood going on. She handed us all school umbrellas. "Problem solved. Let's go!"

A low voice went, "Here, I'll stay behind."

"Hm?" Yaya jerked her head up. "Ikurin? You can't stay behind!"

"NO!" said Ikuto, shrinking away from the windows. "Do you SEE it out there?! Huh??!! It's all...watery... and rainy..."

Utau burst out laughing. "Ah, sorry, forgot to tell you guys. Usually, Ikuto just sleeps through rain showers."

"Just like... just like a KONEKO-CHAAAN!!!" Yaya squealed, randomly huggling Ikuto (who was still curled up in the corner, sitting like L). "NEKO-CHAN! NEKO-CHAN! NEKO-CHAN!"

**(A/N: I bet I'm not the only one right now who is really jealous of Yaya for being able to give Ikuto a giant hug XD. That boy needs more hugs. He's not just Utau and Amu's Glomp victim!!)**

Nagihiko randomly huggled him too. **(A/N: =D YAOIIIII... sorry sorry. But drool. Nagi and Ikuto.). **"Ikurin, you have aquaphobia!" he randomly whipped out his psychology book. "It says..." he squinted his eyes. " '_The most common treatment is cognitive intervention_'."

"In English?" I asked.

"Psychiatrists."

"Let's leave him here then," I shrugged.

"_Heartless_," Utau muttered darkly.

"What?" Amu looked kind of genki. "B-but it's gonna be really fun! Well, it might be," she added as an undertone.

Utau rounded on her. "What, you think he'll come 'cause it's _fun_?"

"Okay," said Ikuto perkily, grabbing an umbrella, and Nagihiko and I gave Utau a _look_.

Outside

"A RAINDROP LANDED ON ME," Ikuto said forebodingly.

"Big deal," Amu yawned. She stood up on tiptoe (Ikuto's tall) and brushed it off his hair. "There."

Ikuto gave her an anomalous (Nagihiko Word) look.

Tadase was picking up the rear, humming to himself and luring birds onto his shoulders like he was a Disney Princess or something. Yaya was skipping up front with Kukai (who was keeping up at the front easily – damn jocks) and Utau, who was somehow managing to leave us all in the dust while wearing high-heeled boots by her brisk pace. Yaya started singing a random song. "OH THE OLD GRAY MARE SHE AIN'T WHAT SHE USED TO BE AIN'T WHAT SHE USED TO BE AIN'T WHAT SHE USED TO BE OH THE OLD GRAY MARE..."

Kill me now. "Kill me now," I told Nagihiko, and he just laughed. It was his normal laugh, oddly enough, not his Evil Mad Genius Laugh. I miss that laugh. I haven't heard it in a long time. "What happened to your Evil Mad Genius laugh?" I questioned. He looked at me perplexedly (Nagihiko Word). "What?"

"You know, the laugh you give when I've done something über-stupid, and you sound like you've created a Frankenstein or something."

He gave an Evil Mad Genius laugh. "UAHAHAHAHAHA...?"

"That's the one."

I think I heard Ikuto snicker.

Back at the cabin after the Hike From Hell, Noon

"That was horrible," I said listlessly, reading everyone's minds. "And I think I need lunch."

"We have Pocky!" said Yaya, holding up a box.

"We have instant ramen!" said Tadase, holding up a couple of innocent-looking packages and one rogue instant kimchi.

"We have taiyaki!" said Ikuto, coming to my rescue, and I clambered over everyone's laps to get at it. I then returned to Nagihiko's shoulder.

"Itadakimasu! Let's eat it from the side like Takuto-kun!" Yaya cheered.

**(A/N: 'Itadakimasu' – literally, 'I humbly receive'. Equivalent of grace but much more commonly used. In a bonus chapter of **_**Fullmoon O Shagashite**_**, the shinigami Takuto eats the taiyaki from the side... which is totally cute on an anime character but kinda strange in real life. And I'm sorry for always breaking up the story with these AN's, although people quite kindly tell me they like them). **

"..."

We all stared exasperatedly at Yaya while Nagihiko launched into a random explanation of Why Eating Taiyaki From The Side Is A Serious Breach Of Japanese Etiquette Blah Blah Blah.

Mr. Kabuki-Politeness should know.

Lunchtime

I'm attempting to boil instant noodle cubes. Ikuto is curled up near the dishwasher, sleeping. Who needs pet kitties when you have that creeper? When Amu went up to him to ask him a question, he rolled over onto his back and made an eerie noise at the back of his throat that might have been a purr.

What a suck-up.

Amu, who has never had a cat, had extremely sparkly and shiny eyes.

"Don't fall for it!" I hissed at her. "Those kitties seem fluffy and cute now, but as soon as you accidentally pet their fur the wrong way, BANG!!! Out come the claws!!!"

"Ny... nya?" said Ikuto, fake-sniffing. Evil Mad Genius and Demon Kitty must be exchanging tactics of winning over the gullible.

Or, he could just be trying to lure Yoru out of his egg again. I do feel bad for him about that, I honestly do. But... for once there's actually tuna fish left in all our cupboards...

_Don't be so heartless, Ri-Ri-tan_.

Shut up, Nagihiko. Stop writing in my diary.

_Well, if anyone happens to find this thing one day and sees such mean comments written with such bias in it, I'd want to make it clear to them that not all of us are so self-centered. _

WELL!! WON'T YOU FIX ME??!!!

"Nagi," I said timidly, "I think something's wrong here."

Nagihiko's bangs suddenly dropped over his eyes and malicious aura seemed to radiate off him. "Damn straight something's wrong here. Do you even know how to operate an oven?"

"SHUT UP."

Later

"Ikuto, it's your turn," Amu said dully.

Ikuto growled under his breath. He put down P-A-N.

As soon as he did, Nagihiko immediately put down N-A-S-C-E-N-T.

"You made that up!" I accused.

"Nascent," Nagihiko recited at top speed, "is-a-newly-born-organism-with-a-propensity-for-immediate-interactivity-change-or-growth."

I put down C-A-T. "I hate Scrabble," I grumbled.

Amu put down C-A-N, and Nagihiko smiled brightly. "Really? I love this game."

Ikuto put down N-E-O-P-E-T-S. "That's not a word!" Nagihiko grumbled.

"YUHHUH!!" Ikuto said violently. "NEOPETS ARE REAL!!!"

Nagihiko rolled his eyes, but let it slide when he was able to make E-U-O-N-Y-M out of _Neopets' _E.

I put my two L's on either side of Nagi's weird moar-vowels-than-consonants word to make LOL. Ikuto and Amu burst out laughing — a literal LOL — and I think Nagi twitched from all the political incorrectness.

Utau and Kukai show up. Hang on, what have they been doing? Where have they been the entire time Nagi was pwning us a Scrabble? HUH???!!! AND SINCE WHEN WERE THEY SUCH GOOD BUDDIES??!!

"Hi Utan!" said Yaya, waving. She and Tadase had been watching us play scrabble. Utau's face was flushed for some reason and her hair was a little messy, and I could practically hear Nagihiko's brain gears whirring and clicking so noisily that I thought I was halucinnating.... hang on that's not how you spell it.

"Nagihiko," I mumbled quietly, "How do you spell _hallucinating_?" The gears faltered for a minute as he quietly wrote the word on the edge of the page. Then he was back to shooting Kukai quizzical looks.

I bet they were shagging each other.

_Rima... _

What? And don't write in my diary.

_I was thinking the same thing. _

Thinking what?

_That they've totally been getting it on. _

Meanwhile, Amu blinked innocently.

Me, Nagihiko, and Ikuto all had to stifle our laughter furiously.

"We'll... be right back..." Ikuto choked, and we all locked ourselves in the basement and starting laughing maniacally.

"I can't – believe – it was obvious as hell," I snorted.

"I KNEW they had a thing for each other," said Nagihiko weakly.

Ikuto was silent.

"Ikurin?" asked Nagihiko, and he twitched. "I now have this weird urge... to kick Kukai's ass..."

I coughed, "Sister Complex."

As soon as we stopped laughing like freaks

"Just in time!" said Yaya, springing up. "We're about to play LIFE."

"Life?" I said blankly.

"Not Life, LIFE!!" Yaya enthused. "Whee! Except we're playing the Yaya version up!!"

"What's the... Yaya-version-up?" Nagihiko asked.

Yaya smiled darkly. "You'll see."

Later

I stuck a peg in my car to signify myself and drew a card from Utau, who was banker. "Nagihiko, you're an idiot for doing college first."

Nagihiko paused humming to himself. "Oh?"

"Yes. You are an idiot. See? I have a career already..."

"Yeah, well..." Dumb Luck. Nagihiko spun a ten and went hurtling out of college easy as pie. Probably how it's gonna happen in real life, too.

Later

Amu was in the lead when she reached a yellow square on the board. She read it out loud, as if she couldn't believe it. " 'STOP. Get married'... THE HELL?!" she cried.

Yaya bounced up and down. "Hooray! This is where Yaya-version-up comes into play! See, Yaya thinks it's moar fun when we marry each other in the game..."

Amu froze. Ikuto and Nagihiko exchanged a ha-ha-this-is-an-interesting-turn-of-events look.

"... so now you pick one of the players to stick in your car..." Yaya babbled.

"U... U... Utan!" Amu cried desperately, snatching Utau's arm.

"Yuri FTW?" said Utau unemotionally, putting up two fingers in the V-for-Victory sign.

Yaya, Ikuto, and Nagihiko all looked slightly disappointed. Evil plotters.

Moar Later

Nagihiko, who was being ridiculously penny-pinching with his money and spinning 10's and 9's with every turn, was forced to a stop to get married a few turns later. Yaya and Ikuto's eyes flashed evilly.

"Ri-Ri-tan, get your person. I'm going to take advantage of your career as a... whatzit?"

"Computer consultant," I grumbled. According to the official rules, every time the spinner went off it's tip the computer consultant gets paid to "fix" it. Nagihiko's particular way of spinning nines and tens without fail often meant that the spinner went soaring off the board. I think it was the only way Nagihiko was getting sucked dry.

Nagihiko swept all my LIFE money into his pile, his eyes gleaming evilly. "There. As your legal husband and guardian, I hereby grant myself access to all your money and property. I also claim fifty percent of your salary."

"You JACKASS!!" I yelled, and sprouted a bunch of terrific curse words. Nagihiko just smiled happily, over the moon with these delightful turn of events that could get him yet more dough.

Later Later... siiigghh. 

I paused on a square. "What... what's this?"

Ikuto and Amu burst out laughing. Reading it at the top of their lungs, they screamed, "CONGRATULATIONS. YOU GOT TWINS!!!" and then continued falling all over themselves laughing (literally, in Amu's clumsy state...).

Nagihiko grinned creepily. "Let's name one Riko."

I think I made a weird hissing noise.

Even moar later

Ikuto, who was second-to-last, finally reached the marriage square. "Yaya-chan..." Ikuto said, grinning creepily. "Lolitas... uahahaha."

"DON'T BE A PERV," Amu and Utau both said threateningly.

About... an hour later?

"Congratulations," Amu and Utau, and Me and Nagi, read out. "It's a boy." We had caught up to Amu and Utau's cars and had wound up on the same square.

"Let's cut out of Nagi's food budget to feed them all," I said sarcastically. By now, we had virtually all the money and were slowly depleting Ikuto's life savings. Which was kinda fun. Especially when we got to nickel-and-dime him on taxes.

Tadase muttered darkly to Kukai, "I think Mashiro-san's ready to start a massacre."

Ah, if only I could, Tada-gay.

Fifteen minutes later. 

"HAH!" Nagi shouted. "Retirement! Now, we can take all Utan and Amu-chan's money from the comfort of our own nursing home... Rima-chi, let's cash in all these LIFE tiles."

And it all adds up to... 3,095,000 dollars. It's fun being rich.

Twenty minutes later

No surprise. We're the winners.

It was kinda fun.

But... the Evil Mad Genius is one scary-as-hell tycoon.

Nagi has finished his loony psychology book now (Amazing! It was 1200 pages and he finished it in a day! I think he's a superhuman sent down from another galaxy to lecture humanity on etiquette). He's letting me read it.

Nagihiko's fear of clowns actually has a proper name - coulrophobia. I tried to tell him that most patients cured their fear by exposure treatment, which is hanging around clowns so long that the fear disappears, but he clapped his hands over my mouth and said that invoking the name of their deity will lure them to this forest.

My fear's name is nyctohylophobia, or the fear of the woods at night. I'm happy that it's summer and the woods AREN'T dark yet. I can hear weird things starting to rustle, though, so I'm trailing after Nagi everywhere (The oh-so-kindly Ikurin has now dubbed me The Clingy Prawn. He told me I've been promoted from shrimp because I've gotten taller).

11:30 PM

The rain has FINALLY stopped. It's freezing in here (Why didn't Utau remember to get a place with central heating?!). Amu and the charas uncovered a bunch of blankets, and we all now look like multicolored slugs.

"Nagi..." I mumbled.

"Hm?" he looked up from his second book, _An Almanac of Feudal Japan_.

"Nagi..." I mumbled, scooting closer to him. "The... trees... they're all... dark... and I HEAR BATS."

"Bats are adorable!" Ikuto protested.

"Yeah, I'm sure they are really fun to try and catch, aren't they?" Amu rolled her eyes. They really do speak the same language.

"Very."

"It's okay," said Nagihiko, shrugging and returning to the Land Of The Shogun. "The woods won't hurt you."

"Easy for you to say. You LIVE in the forest, like Little Red Riding Hood's Grandma."

"Yup," Nagihiko flicked his hair, and read a random passage of his book out loud. " '_Japanese feudal lords employed the services of particularly skilled individuals that were capable of espionage and the operation of minor bombs. These were what were called the first ninja..._'"

"Naruto?" me and Amu chirped.

Nagihiko sighed loudly.

"Hey!" a green-and-black multicolored slug yelled from outside – I think it was Utau. "LOOK!! There's a meteor shower!!"

Nagihiko - LEGASP – put his book down. "Really?" he dragged me outside, closely followed by Ikuto and Amu, muttering something incomprehensible about parallels and trajectories and radiant drifts.

Outside

The cabin we're staying in, at the very least, DID actually have back porch. I almost gasped like some kind of shojo heroine when I saw the sky. "Look at all the stars!!"

"It's 'cause of light pollution... I've told you before," said Nagihiko, shaking his head so that his hair flew out in all directions.

"UAAAA!!!" I screamed and clamped onto his arm... or what I thought was his arm, since he was covered in blankets like the rest of us. "Look! I saw one! I saw one!"

"Yeah! It's a meteor shower! Don't act like some kind of kindergartener on a classroom visit..."

"Did you make a wish?" said Amu cheerfully.

"Who believes in that crap?" Ikuto yawned, and we all gaped at him. "You mean... it doesn't work?"

"OH!" Utau shouted. "There's another one!"

"Really?"

"Yeah. You missed it. It was a really tiny one."

Yaya spotted the next one, and squeezed her eyes shut. "Yaya wishes for aaaaall the candy in the world!"

Nagihiko nearly had a heart attack. "You'll get diabetes!"

**(A/N: Ahahaha. Do not own concept. Arigato, BiitoRizumoKeiko~)**

Five minutes later

Ikuto was the first one to see the long meteor that struck the eastern sky. He said he didn't believe in wishing on stars and all that crap, but if that's so true why did I hear him mumbling something under his breath?

Predictably, I missed it. Again.

Three minutes later

Utau found the next one again. I missed it. Amu quickly jumped out and shouted at the top of her lungs, "I WISH THAT I WOULD FINALLY BE ABLE TO CHOOSE..." and then Nagihiko sprang up and shut her up quickly. "Wish _SILENTLY_, Amu-chan."

Ikuto and Tadase shot her quizzical looks.

Seven minutes later

After a long break, a quick one shot through the sky. I missed it. Nagihiko jerked his head up and muttered something.

"What's this?" me and Amu said, twisting around in our seats as well as we could in blankets. "Nagi wishing on stars?"

He made a non-committal sound.

I shook his limp arm. "Whatcha wish for, huh? Huh huh huh?"

He started humming something that sounded suspiciously like "Happy Birthday."

Finally, much later...

"Can we... go to bed?" asked Amu, giving a yawn the size of a saucepan.

"Please," Ikuto smirked.

"Shut up," Amu gave him a feeble slap.

"What was that? A gust of wind?"

Amu ignored him and got up. I obediently followed, dragging Yaya.

"Yaya... wants... cheesecake... nooo..."

Yeah, she had fallen asleep.

Bed

I curled up, and was just about to doze off when Yaya shook me. "Wake up, Rima-tan!!"

"Freshly baked muffins? Every day? Always fresh, always Tim Horton's..."

Amu laughed meanly, and I reluctantly woke up. "What?" I said defensively.

"We need to talk now!" Yaya demanded.

"About... what?"

"BOYS. Uahahaha!"

"..." me and Amu fell into an uncertain silence until I turned to her. "So. Amu-chan. Now you can tell us all in utmost secrecy what you REALLY think of Ikuto."

"Wh... what is there to tell?" Amu sputtered. Me and Yaya both leaned in close – the interrogation twins are back in action **(A/N: See Doki!! whatever episode it was where they question Amu)** – Finally. I missed wearing that trenchcoat. Anyway, we hissed, "You like him, don't you? Huh huh huh? Don't be embarrassed, Amu-tan."

Amu was silent.

"Is that a YES??!!" we all hissed.

"Yes. No. Yes. No. Well, yeah," Amu grumbled. She rolled over and pretended to be asleep. Somehow, when she admitted it like that, all the fun of teasing her was void (Nagihiko Word).

D'awww.

"So anyway," said Yaya, looking extremely disappointed, "Rima-tan, who do you like? Wait... do we even have to ask that question?"

I glared at her. Amu sat up.

"What about Kirishima-kun? He's still serious about you, you know."

"After all this time?" I snapped. "Whatever. No. His hair looks like a chicken butt."

**(A/N: Thkuus for that good Kirishima joke, Lina-chii.) **

1:00 in the morning

In the end, we wound up gossiping and playing cards on the floor by our beds until Ikuto hissed threateningly through the crack in the door that if we didn't shut up we'd scare all the cockroaches away. I think that's what made us get up off the floor pretty fast.

Two hours later

We had all gone to sleep peacefully, until suddenly I jerked awake in the middle of the night. A wolf howled. The tree branches rustled past the window. Before I knew it, I jerked myself out of bed and started hyperventilating. It was really scary, okay? And then I remembered that Utau had left the window open. STUPID UTAU!!! ANYTHING COULD GET IN HERE!!!

I quickly ran out into the main room (Ikuto was batting irritably at a mousehole. I don't think he noticed me) and into the boy's room. I ran over to Nagihiko and shook him panickingly.

"NAGI." I scream-whispered.

"Ri... Ri... tan?" he said, trying to roll over but failing.

"NAGI," I scream-whispered louder, "THERE'S WOLVES. OUTSIDE."

"Wolves are... cute..." he said sleepily, trying to get me in focus.

"THEY AREN'T CUTE. THEY'RE SCARY. THEY WANT TO EAT ME. I CAN'T GO TO SLEEP!" Tadase and Kukai must be really heavy sleepers, because they didn't even stir.

"Mmm... K..." Nagihiko yawned. He seemed to consider something for a minute, and then took hold of my arm and yanked me so I tumbled into his bed.

Then he rolled over and went back to sleep.

Lazyass.

Five Minutes Later

Nagihiko mumbled darkly, "Your feet are freezing."

"I thought you went back to sleep?" I said nastily.

He shrugged idly and then shut his eyes again, and I quickly moved down closer to him. Yeah, I might have been pushing the circumstances a little far, but... c'est la vie. Hang on, what does that mean? I think it's French, but sadly I only spent about an hour in France before a specifically evil duo comprised of a drag queen and a nekomimi came to steal me back.

Half an hour later

I'm pretty sure Nagihiko's asleep for real now, because I'm fairly sure people don't huggle me voluntarily. And then Nagihiko started mubling something dark in his sleep, along these lines:

"Rima!! don't jump!! Don't jump off the cliff!"

"I'm not about to commit suicide!" I whisper-hissed at him and I think he slapped me.

"That's it," he said mildly in his sleep, "Back up the SUV... no, not back towards the flock of geese. You put it in reverse."

He switches dreams fast.

The Next Day

I sleepily opened my eyes to see Kukai and Tadase huddled around me, wearing a look of awe.

"How come I didn't hear anything?" Kukai said crossly.

"Because nothing happened," I said testily.

"Then why is he huggling you in his sleep?" I realized he still practically had me in a stranglehold. Oddly enough, I wasn't too bothered.

"'Cause he was having weird dreams," I reported. "In one, he had to talk me off a cliff, and the other one was where he was teaching someone to drive an SUV, but... here, I guess he'll tell you himself." I raised my hand to I shake him awake, when Kukai slapped it away. "NO, RIMA!!! NO!!!"

"What?" I said blankly. "Why not?"

"Nagihiko... is Type AB!" Tadase said in a strangled whisper.

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Haven't you ever seen Ouran High Host Club?" Kukai said ominously. "Honey-sempai and Kyouya-sempai are both blood type AB. You never wake up ABs when they're asleep! Once..." Kukai shuddered. "An American GI dared to wake up Honey as he slept. The entire camp was in ruins!!" Kukai said, swaying back and forth like a loony. "Nagihiko once broke my arm when I accidentally hit him with an airplane in class while he was snoozing!" Kukai squeaked fearfully.

"He was SLEEPING in CLASS?!" I said dubiously. "Never mind – GALK." Nagihiko's Death Grip arms pulled tighter and he mumbled something incoherent in his sleep.

Amu walked into the room, and walked right over to Ikuto. "IKUTO, DID YOU LEAVE THE CATNIP OUT AGAI – " Kukai quickly grabbed her arm and dragged her away. Apparently Ikuto is type AB as well.

I shall continue this... TOMORROW. Dun Dun Dun.

* * *

***TAMAOMAKE!玉おまけ*****

I'm still stuck on essay-writing mode, so if I start wording things oddly like Yoda, that's why.

Sorry! I was getting a tad lazy. I swear I'll continue this. Really. DON'T GIVE ME THAT SKEPTICAL LOOK!!!

To be honest, I am... really lazy right now. Like, seriously. 10:39 pm over here. Want to know what has Kimirin so exhausted?

S-C-H-O-O-L.

I miss those beautiful, lazy days of summer! I spent virtually my entire summer sitting peacefully in the computer room and raiding the fridge, so going out into the BRIIIGGHHTT LIIIIGGHHHT and walking to school everyday is seriously taking a lot out of me. In other words: I got fat and photophobic. *hee*.

Plus, my World History teacher seems to live by the philosophy that Satan Finds Work For Idle Hands To Do and thus concludes that giving us homework overload will keep the jocks and preps from flirting during class. He has had no luck so far and has now given us gargantuan project – as if doing homework on a grander scale will solve our behavioral problems once and for all. Lucky for him I'm an über-good essay writer and thus should be getting A's what with all the papers he's having us write.

Anyway, that's why I have been kept out of the world of Rima and Nagi – gomenasai, minna-sama (Wapanese FTW).

Anyway, I was greatly amused by the number of comments I'm getting conveying disbelief that I'm only fourteen. Yes, I really am fourteen. I just happen to have a giant vocabulary and a LOT of free time on my hands. XDD. Acutally, I happen to be kinda stupid, really – I think I uphold a C – B average. English and Art are the only things I really have ever gotten stellar grades in. Speaking of which – I wrote a short story about a cursed doll for English class this year, and you might find it popping up on FictionPress. Heh. My writing "thing" (I don't want to say 'talent' or 'gift' or 'PAAAAASHHUUUUNN' in case I sound like a teacher) also might come from the fact that I have millions of novels just sitting in my documents. I am very inconsistent, and can't really bring myself to continue them. One's about a princess, one's about a dhampir (half-vampire), and there's one about a girl who keeps a very sarcastic diary. I was reading through it the other day, and I was just like, "WOAH. THIS SOUNDS LIKE MA OC RIMA. SHITBRICKZ."

XD

Also – I am now pursuing a career in betareading. I like editing. It fun. And I'm probably gonna wind up doing some boring office-cubicle job in the writing business anyway when I grow up. Anyway, so if any of you want to leave your story in my evil hands... like I said I like editing.

Miyu: DON'T!! DON'T LISTEN TO HER!!! SHE'LL MUTILATE IT BEYOND BELIEF AND TURN IT INTO A SAPPY ROMANCE STORY!!

SHUT UP, MIYU!!... Yeah. *smiles creepily*.

In other news, YES I have ideas for after RiRiKan't. Don't despair. You can look forward to a holiday Rimahiko oneshot around Christmas, and I'm aiming to start my AU Rimahiko fic sometime around February 2010 (Sorry, I gotta allot time in there for the Olympics!!! They're in my FREAKING CITY!!! W00T!!!). After that, I think it'll be a bit of Amuto. Lolyes!! UAHAHAHA!! *cackles*

So that's basically my plan. I feel... I feel like a grown-up, planning so far in advance 0___0. And for those fics, I now have beta reader so that I can avoid the horrible plot inconsistencies I had near the beginning of RiRiKan't, in my amateur days (XD). xLinaChamax. Lolyes Lina you changed your name. XDDD

Anyway... blah... gotta go to sleep. And sorry for uploading this so late!! *peeks at clock* SHITBRICKS IT'S 11!!!!

- Kimirin~*


	50. His Friend, the Gutterminded Nekomimi

Continued...

Everybody has congregated (Nagihiko Word) in here to commence project Wake Nagi-Koi Up And Rescue Ri-Ri-Tan From His Clutches.

Utau has started singing Barry Manilow, because that's what Ikuto blasts in her ears to get her awake in the morning. We're all rocking back and forth from the sheer horribleness but Nagihiko hasn't moved an inch.

Amu kicked him, but all he did was try and kick back and ended up seriously injuring me.

Kukai and Tadase both refuse to try and wake him up.

Finally, Ikuto leaned over and said, grinning, "Do you, Nagihiko Fujisaki, take Rima-chan to be your beloved wedded wife?"

"I DO – OW!!" said Nagihiko, sitting straight up in bed and hitting his head on the upper bunk.

"WHAT?!" I sputtered.

"I hope you two have a very nice life together," said Ikuto peacefully, walking out to cook more fish and leaving us very flustered and confused.

Later

Yaya flopped down on the couch, glaring at the moose on the wall. "I'm bored."

"We're all bored," Ikuto pointed out.

"You think up something to do, then," I yawned, picking at a hole in Nagihiko's sleeve.

"Can you stop pulverizing the Armani?" Nagihiko asked me, rubbing his eyes sleepily.

"Uh." said Amu dully.

Utau stood up. "You are all being the most sickeningly halfassed children I have ever had the misfortune to look upon in my life! TO THE STARBUCKS. YOU ARE ALL GETTING AN EXTRA-LARGE ESPRESSO."

Tadase's head jerked up. "You mean... we've been next to a Starbucks... this entire time?"

Ten minutes later

"UtauIamgoingtokillyou," I said, getting jittery.

"Funny," said Nagihiko peacefully. "I don't feel anything."

"Ihavethesuddenurgetodosomethingreallystupid!!" said Amu.

"Ohgreat," Ikuto whined. "Theonegreatopportunitytohitonyouandi'mtoohightoenjoyit."

"Nobodywasabletounderstandthat," Yaya said, hanging by her heels off a cliff. "ithinkiswallowedafly!!"

"N-nagi," I stammered, feeling the jitters slow. "ithink I'm.... abouto... crash."

And then everything went black.

I don't know how later, back at the house. 

When I woke up, the first thing I saw was Nagihiko.

Reading his feudal Japan book.

He's going to die. Why is he the only one that didn't temporarily die from all the caffeine intake? And WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING SLEEPING IN HIS LAP??!!

"NAGIHIKO." I growled at him, sitting straight up and glaring at him over my shoulder.

"Yes, Rima-chan?" he said sweetly.

"WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED."

"You're looking especially gorgeous today..."

I pulled a fistful of his hair and held it above his head, threatening to pull it. "WHAT WAS I DOING, LIKE, LIKE – THAT?!"

"Not the hair!!" he whined, his fingers scrabbling at the back of my hand helplessly.

"Answer!!"

He stopped and smirked at me evilly. "That's just how you happened to fall, I suppose..." he pulled his hair out of my grip. "There's a good Ri-Ri-tan. Let go of Nagi's precious hair."

I sat back on my heels and looked around. Amu's head was lolling onto Ikuto's shoulder. Utau was sleep-texting. Kukai's feet were twitching like he was dreaming about playing soccer. And Yaya was sleepwalking around the kitchen, rifling around for stuff in cupboards (I bet she's looking for candy).

"Why's everyone asleep?"

"Sugar crash," Nagihiko said idly. "Must have been all that caffeine..."

"Why aren't YOU affected?" I threw at him.

"I have a carbohydrate-resistant autoimmune system, which means that..."

"OKAY. OKAY. Sorry I asked." I said meekly, my hands over my ears.

He grinned again, and turned the page of his book.

It was, of course, this moment Amu and Ikuto chose to wake up and let the early-morning chorus begin.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU DOING, YOU HENTAI NEKOMIMI??!!"

"Never mind that.... what the hell were prawn and drag queen doing while we were all asleep?!"

They both turned and stared at us accusingly.

I pretty much gave them the T.T face and walked out of the room.

Later

I have retreated into our room to hide from the scary sugar-crashed people when I heard lots of shouting from the main room. _What the hell are they doing? _I thought idly and turned the page of my gag manga.

"DAMMIT YAYA!!" Amu shouted. "DON'T HOP OFF THE MAT!!"

Why am I hearing techno music?

I stuffed a bunch of cotton balls in all the door cracks to muffle the noise.

Later Later

The cotton balls couldn't muffle the sound of a deep voice saying very loudly, "YOU LOSE!!! NOT COOL!!! HAW, HAW, HAW."

No, it's not possible.

NOT POSSIBLE.

Later Later Later

I opened the door the width of a hair and peeked out with one eye. I must be hallucinating! Kukai and Amu are NOT out there on DDR mats and a Nintendo Wii with a.... television?!

"OKAY," I said, stomping out. "Somebody get a psychoanalyst" (Nagihiko word) "because I am clearly hallucinating if there's a TV out in the middle of the woods."

"Hmm?" Ikuto looked up. "Oh. Yeah."

"Don't be silly," Utau came up for breath. Poor Kukai. "It was here the whole time, wasn't it?"

"..."

"What the hell is wrong with this place?" I sputtered.

5:30 pm

Utau fished out MarioKart. "Ri-Ri-tan..."

"NO," I said stubbornly. "Just because you locked me out of my room doesn't mean you can force me to play video games."

Utau waved the game package at me. "We'll let you play Peeeaaach's car..."

"I hate that pink monstrosity!"

Nagihiko pulled his horrid little face and made his eyes go all big and shiny. "Now, Rima-chii..."

I turned my head in the opposite direction. "Don't think you can win me over with that face, because you can't!!"

5 minutes later

"You are going to regret this," I said icily, fiddling with the B button on the Wii remote.

"Yeah, yeah," Nagihiko said happily. He stole the mushroomy car from me, the little nasty. Tada-gay picked Princess Peaches' car. Sometimes I wonder why he hasn't gotten invited to any Gay-Straight Alliance meetings as he's obviously a flaming homosexual. "It was the closest thing I could find to a car!" Tadase had complained when everyone gave him strange looks.

Because Nagihiko is P1, which controls everything, he gave Yaya Donkey Kong. "HE SCARES YAYA!!" she screamed but everybody ignored her. And then he did an evil thing.

He gave me Bowser.

"The HELL?!" I growled at him, showing my teeth. He smiled eerily at me. "Now, Rima!! Look at him!! He looks like you on a bad day!"

MarioKart, I'm going to kill you

The (extremely annoying announcer) screamed at the top of his lungs, "GOOOO!!" and Nagihiko whizzed off into the sunset. Yaya's car swerved all around the track like a drunk driver, and Tadase's car started crapping out mushrooms.

"WAIT!!" I shouted, pummeling my Wii remote. "HOW DOES THIS STUPID THING START?!"

"..." Nagihiko cough-laughed into his hand.

Three minutes later

After I threatened to pull the plug on the Nintendo Wii, Yaya reluctantly told me how to start the car.

Later

We were on that damn rainbow track, which I now seriously, seriously want to kill. Whenever it turns, the guard rails disappear making you able to fall off. And every time you fall off, you have to start again.

RIGHT BEFORE THE TURN.

If Nagihiko would just pass the finish line already, I wouldn't have to turn this damn car. But instead, he's hovering right before the finish line and watching me miss the turn. Again. And again. And again.

GRRRRRRRR.

"Rima-chan looks so adorably scary when she's angry," he said calmly, waving the Wii remote half-heartedly.

One minute later

FINALLY!! I made the turn!! With some very, very careful driving. And as I soon as I did....

Yup. Nagihiko went right over the finish line and ended the game with Ri-Ri-tan – you guessed it – in last place.

"I'm going to kick your ass!" I hissed at him.

"Please try, I have a masochistic streak," Nagihiko murmured with a perverse grin.

"WE ARE PLAYING A DIFFERENT GAME NOW."

Cooking Mama? 

Cooking Mama = useless game that only stupid cooking geniuses like Nagihiko can enjoy.

He happily chopped, sautéed, and rolled everything with absurd ease while the red arrows made themselves impossible to roll over for me.

"RAWR." I said, or at least the equivalent of it, and threw my Wii remote at his head. He leaned out of it's path of destruction at the last minute, hair swishing, and it hit Tada-gay instead.

Hee hee hee.

Later

I was watching Amu and Utau go in for another round of DDR. I was feeling sleepy too. Thank god we go home tomorrow. No more forest!! No more Yaya-motored hikes!!

YIPEEASLDF;AIUWEPOIHGDF.

I'm sleepy.

Blarg.

Too sleepy to write.

Half an hour later

This familiar voice came wafting over, and I tried to roll over and ignore it. "Prawn's asleep? Why?"

"I dunno." That was Nagihiko.

"Aren't you going to take advantage of her right about...?"

"I don't like perverts," Nagihiko said nicely. Oooh. That was evil aura there.

"Scary... But still. Why don't you?"

"What, do you think I would – " The other person cut them off. His voice was somewhat familiar too. "Yes. Yes I do."

They both snorted and started whispering. This was getting really annoying. "That's mean," Nagihiko laughed.

"But true, but true..." Snort. Whisper. Giggle. They were like girls. It was really quite sickening.

I aimed a book at where Nagihiko's voice was coming from. "Shut uup. Sleep."

"OW!" a distant voice shouted that sounded like Tadase. "You okay, Kiddy King?!" the other voice shouted and I realized it was Ikuto.

"You're next, Tsukiyomi," I threatened, feeling around for another book.

"What a shame you had to wake up," Nagihiko purred, suddenly sounding eerily close. I opened my eyes to see Nagihiko right over me.

"GET. OFF."

"I am starting to see that Prawn is a force to be reckoned with," Ikuto observed sardonically from the chair. "Too bad she woke up, Fujisaki. Maybe next time."

No, I'm not even going to ask.

Back to sleep.

Morning

"Rima!" Nagihiko said happily, running toward me in a long, white fluffy wedding dress. "GET UUP!!"

"What... are you wearing?" I asked, aghast.

"Huh? What are you talking about? I know you're not really asleep."

"I'm not asleep, I'm... I'm... GAH!! Shut the blinds!!"

"I won't, because Amu said you need to get up," said Nagihiko crossly, playing with his hair that had a pile of flowers in it.

I opened my eyes a crack, and to my relief Nagihiko was in normal, non-dress clothing. That was a weird dream.

"Ugh."

"Bad sleep?" said Nagihiko dispassionately. "When the rest of us went to bed we couldn't get you up at all."

"Really?"

"Amu said that all you did was mumble something about crossdressing rapists and gutterminded nekomimis and go back to sleep."

"..."

Nagihiko stretched and walked away, and I sleepily shuffled over to Yaya. "What's for breakfast?"

"..." Yaya looked sick. "Instant ramen?"

I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANOTHER PACKAGE OF MR. NOODLES IN MY LIFE.

Back on the damn bus, 10:30 am

Utau put on her motorcycle helmet and stared at the dashboard, eyes flaming with road-rage. "ARE WE ALL READY TO - ?"

"Why doesn't somebody else drive?" Nagihiko said nicely.

Later

Of course, if you need a driver that's not a road-rage demon or a Fisher-price truck driver, the law of physics says you must always, always call on a Yaya to drive your bus.

She's swerving around the road like she's thrown back a couple martinis. And every time there's a bunny or deer on the road she'll scream, "GET OUT OF THE WAY, BUNNEH-SAN!!"

I feel kind of dizzy. I wish she could follow the lines on the road.

Later

We voted Tadase to drive the bus next. I mean, he looks to damn gentle to do anything wrong, right?

Errr.

No.

He can follow the lines, sure, but he's right up against the guardrail so that other cars can pass him.

I hate compassionate drivers.

Later

_A TABLE OF DRIVER FLAWS, COMPILED BY RI-RI-TAN._

Ikuto - drives too slow.

Utau - drives too fast.

Yaya - swerves too much like a drunken driver; pulled over three times and hooked up to a breathalyzer.

Tadase - too nice to other drivers.

Nagihiko - gives every jackass that passes him the one-fingered salute.

Amu - gets defensive when we start yelling advice at her and forgets to watch the road.

Kukai - almost killed us when he started listening to the radio and discovered that his favourite soccer team lost the world series.

Me - so kindly told by significant parties (Nagihiko) that I am too short to reach the brake pedal.

MAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!

I AM GETTING OUT AND TAKING A TAXI!!

Later, after three potential car accidents 

Finally! We're back in one piece. Now I can go home. And see Mummy dearest, who probably even forgot that I was away for two nights.

I'm hungry. I wonder what's in the fridge?

In the fridge?!

There are a whole bunch of Ziploc containers, all filled with shapeless mush. They are all clearly victims of mother's food processor!!!

NOOOOOOO!!!

* * *

***TAMAOMAKE!玉おまけ*****

Okay. I guess I all owe you a huge, huge apology for my month-long absence. It's just – YEAH – I was getting lazy as hell and really had no idea what to write about. That might be why you'll find this chapter behind the usual standards, but.... ch'yeah. Hee hee. I'm starting to feel relieved that Rima Can't Spell will be done in a couple chapters, to be honest. It's been nine months since it got published!! That's how long the average pregnancy is!!! Err. Yeah.

BTW, if you want to thank someone for uploading the chapter, please thank Lina ;___; She was the one who blackmailed and nagged me into typing Chapter 50.

Also: Oh my god, you won't believe this, but my mom googled my pen name on the other day, just to see what chained her kid to the computer T_T I must say, it's REALLY, REALLY weird to have you're mom all impressed over a story she can barely understand over all the Shugo Chara terminology. And now she says I have no excuse to fail English 9.

NUUUUU!!! xD

Oh yeah, and now she brags to all her friends that her daughter's a fanfiction protégée.

D

Well, the real big news here was that the other day, I had to go check a fact on Rima Can't Spell to do the chapter. When I started typing the title in, Google did that thing where they showed the drop-down menu suggestion for stuff that's most-often searched. Thank you for making Rima Can't Spell have 29,900 results!! ___ for me, that's a pretty staggering number. Although, of course, 1/10 of those 29,900 results are girls named Rima who yell at anons for their bad spelling, but erm, still. The phrase "Tsuki no Kimi" also gets 530,000 results, way more hits than the opening to Loveless (Tsuki no Kaasu) xDDD I REALLY LOL'D AT THAT ONE.

Oh yeah, and I'm really flattered now to see all the Rimahiko stories in the Shugo Chara section that are done diary-format from Rima's POV. Keep going... we can beat all those Amuto fics.... UAAHHAHAHAHAA *cough cough cough* xD

- Kimi-~*


	51. His Amazing Fanbase

July 9th, 9:03

The phone rang. Not the home phone. My cell phone. I really, really need to start turning that off when I go to sleep.

I mean, seriously, has it ever occurred to anybody that Ri-Ri-tan might be SLEEPING?!

Clearly not.

Anyway, I picked it up reluctantly, flicked Kanon off the keypad, and put it to my ear. "Hullo?"

"Rima?" it was Amu. her voice was brisk. "I just had a question."

"Would it have killed you to have this question around one?"

She ignored me. I knew she would. Amu is a very selfish person. "Well, Rima, I just can't help but wonder... when exactly are you going to tell Nagi?"

"Look, the essay's not due for weeks, I can just copy it off him in a – "

"NO!" Amu hastily cut me off. "Not that. I mean, like, you like, like him, like..."

"You're babbling."

I could hear her suck in her breath at the other end of the phone. "I mean... when are you going to tell him that you like him?"

I decided not to dignify that with a response.

"Don't try to not dignify that with a response!" Amu told me after three seconds of silence. She knows me far too well. It's a fatal flaw.

Later

I was eating French toast when the phone rang again. My home phone this time. I reluctantly picked it up. "Hullo?"

"Mashiro-san?" a voice said nicely and happily on the other end. Why was Tadase calling me?

"Why are you calling me?"

"Well, actually, I was just kind of thinking. I mean, isn't it about time you told Fujisaki-san that...?"

"OKAY, FOR ONE THING, HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT? AND SECONDLY, NO."

Then I hung up.

_Ring_.

"Go away!"

"EH?" Yaya sniffed. "RIMA-TAN WANTS YAYA TO GO AWAY...?"

"Errr, no," I clarified. "What do you want?"

"Actually, Yaya was wondering when you're going to tell Nagi-kun that you like him!"

"You can't know that!" I barked into the receiver.

"Oh, but I do, I mean, it was kind of obvious to Yaya that..."

"ACTUALLY I CHANGED MY MIND. PLEASE GO AWAY!"

"UWAAAA??!!"

_Click._

Peace and quiet.

Noon

_A list of all the lovely phone conversations Rima had before lunchtime:_

Amu (see above)

Tadase (see above)

Yaya (see above)

Utau: Hello, prawn.

Me: Utau?

Utau: Yeah. Hey, you should really tell Fujisaki one of these days that you like him 'cause time is ticking and...

Me: _Click_.

Ikuto: Prawny!

Me: What do you want?

Ikuto: the cross-dresser's looking sad. You should cheer him up.

Me: Oh? And how will I do that?

Ikuto: First of all, you should charge a good price. That is always essential. Fishnet tights always boost your ratings and...

Me: PERVERT!! I'M NOT A HOOKER!

Ikuto: ha, ha, ha, ha! (this is the part where he laughed hysterically).

Me: _Click_.

?????: Hey, do you want a vacuum cleaner that's simple as can be and cleans in all those tough-to-reach places?! Well, look no further than the Speedy McCleaner, the vacuum that cleans more than your home!! With its three bags and grade-A suction it's a definite favourite of the International Vacuum Cleaner Society!! And we're offering it to you for the low low price of $19.95!! but WAIT! If you buy now, we'll throw in a dustpan, FREE!!

(_silence)_

Me: Speedy McCleaner sounds like the name of someone's pet rabbit.

?????: Can I have your credit card number, please?

Me: _Click_.

?????: Rima-chan!

Me: Um, who is this?

?????: This is sad. I didn't think you'd forget me so quickly after all that stuff that happened...

Me: Seriously. Who is this?

????? (sarcastically): It's the Tooth Fairy.

At this point, something in my memory stirred up. IT CAN'T BE. SERIOUSLY.

Me: This isn't Saito...

Saito: Right!! Hah!! That took you a while, didn't it? Stupid.

Me: Yeah, but – HEY, HOW DID YOU GET MY PHONE NUMBER?!

Saito: I dug through the school records, duh. As one of the Guardians I have the right to do that. (Um, no he doesn't. And he was a Guardian for less than a week)

Me: Um, no you don't. And you were a Guardian for less than a week.

Saito: Typical skeptical Rima-chii. Anyway, since you haven't sent out the invitations yet I was just wondering what the date's gonna be.

Me: Huh? Invitations? The date of what?

Saito (snickering): The WEDDING DATE. Tell me, has Nagi-koi come round yet?

Me: _Click_.

Kukai: Mashiro-chan!

Me: Kukai?

Kukai: Yup.

Me: ...

Kukai (blunt): you should ask Fujisaki-kun out.

Me: _Click._

So it was with no surprise that when the phone rang, I yelled as loud as I could, "I DON'T LIKE FUJISAKI NAGIHIKO, OKAY? SO STOP CALLING ME ALL INSANELY AND TRY TO MAKE ME CONFESS TO HIM LIKE IN SOME KIND OF GAY SHOUJO MANGA OR SOMETHING, BECAUSE THAT IS DEFINITELY NOT GOING TO HAPPEN! AND YOU CAN TELL IKUTO THAT I AM NOT A HOOKER!"

"... Um, okay, I'll make sure to tell him that," said a horribly familiar voice, sounding like he was having second thoughts about dialing this number.

Even though nobody could see me, I went red. "This isn't Nagihiko, is it...?"

"No, it's the Tooth Fairy," said Nagihiko sarcastically. "Really, Rima, of course it's me. Do you care to elaborate on that little speech you just gave me there? At the top of your lungs, I might add?"

"Look, that was a total fluke, it was, um..."

"Okay. Okay." He sounded very stung and grumpy, like he just got dumped. "Anyway, I was actually wondering what the homework was for science."

"Nagihiko," I said patiently, "I never know what the homework is."

"O-OH. RIGHT." I could hear his embarrassment radiating through the phone.

"Oh, was that just an excuse to call me, then?" I said coyly.

"NO. NO, OF COURSE NOT." And then he hung up.

Hee hee.

Later

Mother dearest finally came home from work today, and seemed to have bought a wok on the way home.

_Phew. _Looks like her Food Processor Phase is over...

Later Later, around 4:00

The phone rang, and I tentatively picked it up. "Heee.... loooo?"

"Mashiro-san, you sound funny!" Only one voice could be that cheerful.

"What do you want, Tadase? I'm not going to ask Nagihiko out."

"Awwww." I could practically hear him crying on the other end of the phone. The poor guy is Nagihiko's number-one fan. "And, anyway, Hikaru and Rikka both have meningitis so can you go water the plants today?" Tadase sounded more concerned about the flowers than about Hikaru and Rikka with a possibly-deadly disease.

"Um, are Ichinomiya and Hiiragi going to be okay...?"

"WHY SURE THEY ARE, RIMA-SAN. BETTER GET WATERING THE LITTLE FLOWERS..."

Something's up here, I know it is.

Seiyo Elementary, Greenhouse. Actually, it's bringing back weird memories. 

"Rima?"

OH NO. OH NONONONONONO.

"What's so 'oh-no' now?" Nagihiko asked pleasantly. That was when I realized I had said that all out loud.

"Tadase set me up!" I cursed.

"Oh?"

"You knew he did, too," I accused, giving him the evil eye.

He shrugged. "Yeah... if Hikaru and Rikka really had meningitis, I think we should be more worried."

Something was seriously wrong here. And I'm sure it wasn't me. I looked at him oddly.

He stared back blankly.

And that was when I slapped him.

...

"WHAT." He said, his voice sounding normal. "THE. HELL. WAS. THAT. FOR?"

I never thought I'd say this, but I was so glad that Nagihiko turned back into a snobby EvilMadGenius. Because I suppose I'm more attracted to that side of him then

WAI WHAT, DID I JUST SAY I WAS ATTRACTED TO HIM??

YES. YES I DID. I JUST REREAD WHAT I WROTE.

Well I'd better cross that out right now.

"What was that?" I demanded, walking right up to him. "Honestly. You were acting all... nice.. and... creepy."

He didn't say anything, just glared like some president on Mount Rushmore (Yes, they totally look like they're glaring).

"Don't just glare," I ordered. "We have nothing else to do, because we have to stay here long enough that Tadase thinks we actually watered the stupid plants."

He glanced to the side, and then said sulkily, "... You said you didn't like me."

"When?" I said blankly.

He imitated a high squeaky voice that was definitely not what I sounded like. " '_I don't like Fujisaki Nagihiko, okay? So stop calling me all insanely and try to make me confess to him like in some kind of gay shojo manga or something_...'"

"Oh, for..." I began angrily and then kind of trailed off. DID I REALLY SAY THAT? "DID I REALLY SAY THAT?" I demanded.

"Yes." Monosyllables.

"WHY?!"

"How should I know?" he said nastily. "I haven't made it obvious enough, apparently."

Something seemed off here. Very off. Sadly, being me means that I often overlook things that are off and continue arguing at the top of my lungs. Without thinking, I just yelled back, "YOU haven't made it obvious?! I've made everything obvious and yet you're too dense to notice anything!..."

At this point, Nagihiko seemed rendered of his ability to speak and just made angry noises in his throat. "So, why don't you tell me what this is, since it seems you're just dying to tell me."

"I love you, okay?!" I shouted, stumbling back and feeling my cheeks go red. "... oh yeah, and I hope you die." I added, somewhat contradicting my statement. After fifty chapters of whining, the words were out and hanging between us. I could actually hear 'love you! love you!' echoing in the faraway mountains.

"What?" Nagihiko said softly.

* * *

I know. I'm so sorry. I am the supreme evil overlord of the heavens to leave you on the BIGGEST. CLIFFIE. YET but you already know I love cliffhangers.

In other news, I have a new website now for trivia, guides, and other crap. I'll be launching a forum on there soon, too. It's tsukinokimi-dot-webs-dot-com, or it's at my profile.

Anyway, the playlist for this chapter was

_Arrival of Tears_ – Ayane

_Kagami no Yami wo Ugachite_ – Asriel

_Dolphin Jet_ – Ayane

_Pub and GO!_ – Noriaki Sugiyama (bagpipes FTW).

YES – the Hetalia character songs came out – YES – HEH – YES. My prior reaction was basically a full-blown anime fangirl spaz-out right in the middle of Kuroshitsuji playing in my school's Anime Club on Tuesday.

And then, of course, my friends made me listen to Prussia's character song xD. YAY 4 DEATH METALZ.

Anyway, back to the ahmazingness that is my school's anime club. You won't believe this but I'm not the president lol. Actually, the president named me the official Anime Club loli =.=" Because... of the convenience of my stature (4" exactly).

Although, I fall more into the category of the type who yells out in the middle of _Nausica__ä__ of the Valley of the Wind_, "YOU'RE SUCH A MARY-SUE!! GET OFF THE SCREEN, BITCH!!" or makes some nasty comment about "Porko" being a pig.

_

Anyway, I hope Kimi's inspired you to make or join your own school's anime club. They're amazing things. This one time a week, somehow, I don't feel like a freak when I'm with fellow Otakus ]

Because I feel like I should be taking up more space, here's what we've watched in anime club so far:

Excel Saga

Axis Powers Hetalia (On my recommendation, LOL)

Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind

Porco Rosso (LOL, this movie's actually total win. It's especially fun if you keep making snide comments about the pig).

Kuroshitsuji (or tried, anyway)

... and I think we might be watching Kiki's Delivery Service next.

Anyway, once again, sorry about the cliffie but you SHOULD be happy because next chapter is...

... holyshit, the next chapter is the last one.

Isn't that a little disturbing?

Anyway, I guess I'd better make the closing sound like some kind of amazing advert or something.

So, STAY TUNED for the AHMAZING conclusion to the bestselling serial!! Or something, because I don't think RiRiKan't is bestselling, LOL.

- Kimi-nin~*


	52. Our Story Begins

**A/N: I'm so sorry. **

**Really, really sorry. **

"_I love you, okay?!" I shouted, stumbling back and feeling my cheeks go red. "... oh yeah, and I hope you die." I added, somewhat contradicting my statement. After fifty chapters of whining, the words were out and hanging between us. I could actually hear 'love you! love you!' echoing in the faraway mountains. _

"_What?" Nagihiko said softly. _

"Don't say 'WHAT' like some kind of stupid idiot," I said, wishing that there was a paper bag lying around somewhere that I could hyperventilate into. "Isn't it obvious?"

"But, Rima..."

"Do you have a paper bag?"

He acted like he didn't even hear me, just still had the anticlimactic shock look on his face.

"What's with that face?" I demanded. Although I shouldn't have said that, because I still looked like I had a tomato for a head. "Everything was there, you really should have seen, the fangirls were going insa – " And this is where my sentence cuts off.

Because, the reason I was forced to stop my dialogue there was because I was unable to finish. And I was unable to finish because Nagihiko stepped forward in one swift motion, pulled my face forward and kissed me so hard that I couldn't breathe.

(For the record, it was probably really bad for my health).

His nails dug into the skin under my jaw as he kissed me harder and more breathlessly, and almost unconsciously I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, blissfully, innocently... (well, no. not that innocently. Just humor me, why don't you).

After a while, he got bored of chaste kissing, so experimentally he ran his tongue over my bottom lip. My body reacted instinctively; my mouth immediately opened and his tongue playfully caught mine. As quickly as it had started, he pulled his mouth away and I (what _was _I thinking?) gave out a little cry of disappointment before he started kissing the base of my throat. As I pulled up my head to give him better access, that was when...

... it hit me.

It wasn't like this was just something that could happen and forget about tomorrow (believe me; I had long ago worked out the fantasy of having no-strings-attached sex with Nagihiko but it basically just... no). Actually, once this in-between moment finished Nagihiko would undoubtedly – unless the little sneak had already read my mind – find out that I loved him and then... suddenly my blood ran cold. Because I was suddenly completely aware of why KusuKusu had disappeared, and why... Kanon had fallen silent.

**(A/N: Oh shit, I've totally forgotten about Kanon. Wish I had cut her out of the story but yadda yadda oh well)**

"No," I mumbled, pushing at Nagihiko's chest, and he stumbled back a couple steps. "Rima?"

"I..." I tried to swallow the insanity that was building up in my throat **(A/N: Holyshit this is getting angsty, what the hell am I writing?)** and shook my head a couple times. "This can never happen. Nagi – Fujisaki-san, this will never work."

He probably almost gagged when I used his last name (I sure know I did). Before he could do anything more than look like he swallowed a bunch of marbles I ran. He could have caught up to me if he wanted, he could have chased after me if he really cared, because everyone knew that I couldn't run to save my life.

And I kept running.

By now this entry's getting pretty dramatic, but whatever. The point is, I ran faster and farther and longer than I ever had in my miserable, heartbreaking life, and I reaped the consequences by stumbling to a stop with two stitches on either side of my ribs and a hurting throat. And then I saw a creepy shadow come up behind me.

Five Minutes Later

... which decides to tell me AFTER I've screamed and slapped him that the creepy shadow is indeed Ikuto.

"Rima?!" he spluttered, nursing a red mark on his shoulder. "What are... where's Fujisaki?"

"None of your business."

He seemed taken aback by my cold attitude, but seemed to think better of shutting up, unfortunately. "What are you doing here?"

"Running away – what does it look like?" I snapped.

"So Fujisaki... told you?" his face was unreadable, as usual.

"Told me what?" I asked testily.

"Nothing. Never mind."

"Yes he did," I muttered darkly.

"Oh, so he did?" I had forgotten that he still had kitty hearing, and I flushed. "Good for him. So what are you doing here?"

"Running away." I looked straight at him, and to my mild interest he was actually looking rather sympathetic. Which was amazingly OOC for Mr. Stoic. "Really?"

"Obviously."

"And what's that going to fix?" he lazily held up his head in one hand. "You'll have to go home, eventually. You'll have to go to school, eventually. And you'll have to talk to him. Eventually."

"Throw in one more _eventually_ for the road, please?" I said sarcastically, but he just looked at me.

"You can't run away from your problems."

I gaped at him for a minute, but he kept talking. "You know, when I was your age..."

"The hell? You're not that much older than me! Stop sounding like an old man."

"When I was your age – well, maybe older, I used to think that running away would solve everything as well. As it turns out, it just hurt the people I cared about most."

I just stared at him. He was getting all misty-eyed, not to mention rather creeping me out. "... and besides..."

"You know, you could always just tell Amu that you like her," I blurted out. And proceeded to want to hit myself.

Looking startled for a minute, he turned his head away. "You sound like Fujisaki."

"Great minds think alike?" I stood up.

"Where are you going?"

"Back."

"Good kid."

I felt like smiling, like the sick old dopey idiot I was inside, but instead I ran off (leaving Ikurin to emo by himself. I could practically _hear _the angst).

I was a coward. Why did I run away? I felt a sickening lurch. It was so easy to forget that I loved him, not when he acted normal, but when he... I touched my bottom lip quickly but pulled it away again. Argh. I was already acting disgustingly cute. Deep down, I knew that I would put Nagihiko first, before my charas. How ironic – he was the one I thought I hated. How long had it been since he was that nasty new boy that was a friend-snatcher?

Well, that didn't matter, because now I could confess how much I loved hi –

I let out a muffled moé sound somewhere between a wail and a sob as I tripped over my feet and doubled over, catching my breath. Dammit! How could my non-athletic body and useless chibi legs get in the way of me and Nagihiko?

Somebody owes me big-time for this.

I shakily got up again, this time at a dignified walk.

Five Minutes Later

Oh my god.

KusuKusu and Kanon have Xs.

I... don't know how.

I think I feel kind of...

... sleepy.

Maybe I should go to sleep, although I should probably solve this little X-egg problem first.

... but.

I reluctantly got out my cell phone and dialed somebody's number. I forget who, actually. I just remember somebody picking up and saying sharply, "Rima?!"

Conversation went a bit like this.

Person: Rima?!

Me: ...

Person: This is Rima, right? Where are you? Are you okay? Where did you go? Your mom's been calling like crazy, this—

Me: I think...

Person: Think? There's no time to be thinking!! _[PERSON takes deep breath] _Look, I'm really sorry that... that... has messed up our relationship, I know it was really terrible of me, but please just come ho-

Me: I think I have two X-eggs.

Person: _[Makes lethal-sounding choking noise] _WHAT?!

Me: KusuKusu... she has... an X... and... so does Kanon. And I feel sleepy. Do you feel sleepy? Because I feel very sleepy like I could fall asleep standing up. Like a horse—

Person: I—YOU—

_Line goes dead. _

A Million Minutes Later

I think I will go to sleep.

...?!?!?!?!?!

I've just woken up, and I can't see anything.

Hence, why my writing's CRAPPP and probably going off the lines.

But I can hear voices.

Lots and lots of voices.

Too many voices.

Going to sleep.

I think Later? Maybe Later? LONG TIME LATER

Oh my god.

Oh my god.

Later

I have to start from the very beginning.

... Er, to be blunt, Ikuto saved my charas. Same with Amu.

Ow, my head hurts. MUST KEEP WRITING.

It was Nagihiko I called. Obviously, or else there wouldn't have been any story. NAGIHIKO!! Is my phone out to kill me? So being all OCD and responsible and stuff, he appears to have called up half the cast of Shugo Chara. Including Ikuto, who told him exactly where I was. Thanks a lot, Ikurin... I'll let you decide whether or not that's sarcasm.

And Amu, being Amu, totally spazzed out and worked off her steam by having several consecutive monologues about her feelings before running off like a maniac and bumping into several other frantic Guardians. Frantic people! All I see is frantic people.

Did I mention that I'm lying on cement? And nobody's noticed that I'm awake yet because they're so frantic?! I think I'm in... a cul-de-sac. Nice.

Anyway. They managed to find me. Where I was... sleepwalking.

No. That's a lie. I thought I feel asleep, but really I was spouting crap about how useless I was. Having somebody inform you of things like this you said that you don't remember is kind of... creepy.

Anyway, I got to be Filler Character of the Week by having Amu do negative heart. ON ME! ON ME! I mean, I know she's supposed to be the heroine and stuff but it's slightly degrading to have to be saved like that.

Understatement. VERY DEGRADING.

Continued

AJLASJDHFLWEIE I—UH, I THINK I BETTER FINISH THAT STORY SO I CAN GET TO NEW DEVELOPMENTS.

And so then, I woke up and started wailing about how I couldn't see anything. And somebody was so kindly happy to inform me that it was because I hadn't opened my eyes.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I said angrily, rubbing at my eyes. "Next time I'll be sure to ask—Oh."

I quickly shut up as soon as I opened my eyes, because it was... Nagihiko. Looking quite pissed off.

"What's with you?" I asked, turning my face.

"What do you think?"

"..."

"Maybe," he said, looking excessively aggressive, "It's because you _ran off _to the _other side of the bloody town _and let me worry? Or, gee, maybe it's because you _led me on, _like some kind of shameless—"

"I wasn't _leading you on,_" I said furiously, sitting up and feeling rather dizzy.

"Yes you were!" Stubbornly.

"If anything, YOU were the one who was shamelessly flirting the whole time, it was sickening-"our voices had risen to shouting.

"Oh, really?!" he snarled. I saw Amu staring at me, openmouthed, and Yaya looked like she was about to cry. "Who was the one that kissed me that time?!"

"You had kissed me before!"

"That was a _dare!_"

"Oh, so you couldn't have just backed out?!"

"Of course I couldn't, you don't understand, and I obviously _wanted _it—besides, you kissed me too! Non-consensual!"

"That was a present! I _IMPROVIZED, DAMMIT!" _

"I hope you spelled that I-M-P-R-O-V-I-S-E-D" (I didn't) "And besides, you were always clinging to me – who did you run to when something scared you?!"

"I wasn't scared!"

"Really? You sure looked scared to me!"

"Go to hell," I snarled. For a minute, I thought he was going to hit me and I regretted being so cross with him. But instead, he kissed me so hard that our teeth clashed together and I gave out an insistent muffled noise. Pulling away, I sputtered, "What the hell was that for?!"

Nagihiko looked just as shocked as me, as if I was the one that had initiated it. Slowly, he took a step back. "I'm sorry," he whispered, looking all for the world like a small child who had done something bad. "Don't hate me."

"I don't hate you," I said automatically, dimly aware of a sputtering Amu and a Yaya who had somehow gotten a pair of 3D glasses on her face and was throwing popcorn into her mouth. "I never would, and you know that."

"What..."

"I love you," the words were out so much easier then I had anticipated, just slipping out casually like I was talking about the weather. "So... I'm sorry... for... running away."

He looked mildly surprised, as if I had announced that I wanted to work with the poor and needy in Africa or something. Hastily covering it up, he nodded. "Yeah," he agreed, simply. "I can see why you did."

"... Really?" I stared at him shyly.

"Obviously. Your charas... They might have..." He seemed to remember something, and paled. "Rima."

"What is it?"

"KusuKusu and Kanon. They're... they're gone. They disappeared... back... into you... after Amu purified them."

And that was when I fainted.

BLOODY FUCKING LATER.

When I woke up, I was in a darkened room, feeling very warm. There was a pillow behind my head, which felt like it was made of lead (my head did, not the pillow).

And I felt... emotionally drained, somehow. Empty, but full at the same time, and a bit lightheaded despite the bowling ball that was my head. As I sat up straighter, I could feel a warmth on my feet and I saw an orange-and-white ball of fur sleeping on my toes.

_Bakatan_?

I was home. In my bedroom. In my bed.

I strained my ears listening for any sounds, and heard murmurs reach my ears from downstairs. The longer I listened, the more clear the owners of the voices became in my head. At one point, I thought I heard two people interject and my mother's soft voice, and sometimes I even thought I heard the silky voice of Ikuto, mingling in with Amu's and what sounded like Yaya. What were they _doing_? Why were my friends talking with my _mother_?

12:55 am

"No!" a voice shouted loudly from downstairs, and I heard another soft voice shush the other hurriedly. "Do you want to wake her up?!"

There was several more voices talking over each other, the creaking of a chair sitting back, the padding of feet to a cupboard. More humming of talk, soft dreamlike voices that were tempting me back to sleep but were too good to pass up.

Finally, I heard the same gentle voice go, "I'll check on her," and feet approach my door. A thin, sharp blade of yellow-gold light made a strip across my carpet and up over my bedsheets, as Bakatan lifted his head dimly and regarded the new stranger with citrine (Nagihiko Word) eyes.

God, I feel like I'm writing a harlequin romance or something.

The figure came right up to my bedside, hair swishing softly, and he knelt down. "Rima?"

"Nagihiko," I said quietly, wrapping my arms around his neck automatically, and he pressed my shoulders down. "Sleep. You've had a long day."

"I..." suddenly, it all came back to me, and I fell forward. "I---" tears suddenly overflowed, and I found myself suddenly bursting into loud hysterical sobs. "_Gone—" _

"Shhhhh!" He shushed me, cradling my head against his chest like a mother would. The ongoing muffled speech going on downstairs stopped for a minute, but started up again at a rapid pace after several moments of silence. "You don't need to be worrying your mother more," he said into my hair. "She's having a difficult enough time as it is."

I was still crying – there goes another uniform shirt of Nagihiko's – and it was another long silence until I managed to swallow the lump in my throat and speak. "Who's down there?"

"Amu. Ikuto. Yaya. Kukai and Utau are... dealing with things." He started petting my head absent-mindedly – how long had it been since he had done that? "You won't believe this, but Ikuto's mother... papers... divorce... well, Easter. It's gone. Ikuto... he's the... director."

I gave a muffled cry of surprise, and his fingers tightened on the back of my neck. I felt his body quietly tumble down onto my bed without a second thought, still running his fingers through my hair in an almost dreamlike fashion.

"Wait," I said softly. "Why is Amu and Yaya and... whatever, why are they talking with... my _mother_?"

"We're telling her," he said plainly.

"Everything?"

"Everything."

"How is she... is she..."

Nagihiko tilted his head up, and I pulled my face away and stared at him – just stared at him. He was looking out the window, to the gibbous moon that was shining through the a thin layer of clouds. No stars. "We're not sure yet. She's very quiet. At the beginning, she was ready to dial the therapist's number – because really, who wouldn't when confronted by people who claim to listen to invisible little people?" he gave a soft chuckle. "She's coming round. Not particularly sleepy or freaked out." It made me stop and wonder – it was a side of Mama I had never seen when she was living with my father. It almost made me speculate for a minute over how she might have had a guardian character herself as a child. "But, let's stop talking about that, for now. I wanted to talk about something else."

"Like...?" I wiped my eyes on my sleeve. I was in pajamas. Please to god, let it have been Amu or Utau that undressed me-

"Us." I nearly choked, more memories crowding into my brain noisily like at a subway station. _Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. _

"Don't swear." _Shit. _

"Rima?"

"I... I'm sorry."

"That's not it!" his voice rose a little, but he dropped it quickly by the end of the sentence. It made his voice crack slightly like he was hitting puberty or something. "Rima, I love you. A lot. It started out, so small, and sometimes... I'd have tiny inklings... but it was so little to keep my interest alive on. But I just... couldn't stop... after a while, I had to accept it."

I tightened my arms around his neck. "Stupid Tadase," he muttered darkly. Imitating a high whiny voice, he said, " '_Why're you so angry that I asked her out, Fujisaki-san? You shouldn't have a problem with it, unless you actually like her. Which you obviously do.' _He did not have to... am not jealous..."

"Nagihiko?"

"Mmm-hmm?"

I felt my face heat up. "Can you say it again?"

"That whole speech?!"

I rested my head in the crook of his neck, feeling almost like it fit there perfectly. "Only the important part."

"I... I love you."

"Again."

"I love you."

"Agai—" "Rima, how long are you going to make me say it?"

"Just one more time!"

He sighed, curling a piece of my hair around his finger as he pulled me closer to him. The talking had stopped, but there was a quiet clink of dishware. _No! _I remember dimly thinking in the midst of my bliss. _Not the food processor! _

"I love you."

* * *

**Like I said. Really sorry. If you forgive me, I'll love you forever and give you a virtual cookie. And I'm so sorry, my writing style suddenly changes all randomly at the end and I'm like SOB WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ILLITERATE RI-RI-TAN I LOVE?!**

**Anyhoo. Other stuff: **

**Good Lord, I cracked 800 reviews! Thank you, everyone, I feel like my life's complete.**

**Oh yeah... I may not have told you this, guys, but spamming my inbox doesn't really make me want to update. It was hard to write this – I had to sit down and think hard about how I wanted to end this, how it needed to feel like the fall of an era but a new beginning and make sure that RiRi and Nagi were very much in love n'all that and-- /rambles. BUTBUT, many thanks to RimaxNagi for nagging and xLinaChamax for not nagging at all. You are my twin betas of loveliness *hugs*. //SEE NOW DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER FOR PUTTING UP WITH MAI CRAP?//**

**My next story: *shudder* OH, MY GOD, MY NEXT STORY. WILL. BE. WAY. BETTER. I'm sure you think RiRiKan't was great and all, but after rereading it I'm quite humiliated to go through a lot of the chapters. I mean, the OOCness goes off the scale. Sure, a bit of character manipulation is good but this is ridiculous. Plus, a lot of it was inconsistent with what the anime revealed later, which forced me to leave some plot holes. It was so freaking difficult to end this thing. And sorry, by the way. I got a handful of requests to continue it, but... I just couldn't stand this thing going on any longer. If you like, feel free to write a sequel if you want. Better you than me. **

**Haha. The kiss scene(s?) = bunch of random borderline-M moments strung together crappily. Um, it was fail. Sorry. I wrote that... a long time ago. *fails x1000***


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